A short G/S ficlet, based on the song 'My Stupid Mouth' by John Mayer. All done from Grissom's point of view. Feedback, please?
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I heard a scoff, and after a few seconds, "Well, anyway…" she sighed, a little annoyed. I think I had just said the dumbest thing Id ever said in my entire life. I felt like Greg, all of a sudden.
My stupid mouth has got me in trouble.
I said too much again, to a date over dinner yesterday.
And I could see that she was offended.
She said, 'Well, anyway…' just dying for a subject change.
I felt so stupid. My mouth went off, before my brain could think through the proper words, and it came out the complete wrong way. "I'm so sorry, Sara. That came out totally wrong…" I could have hit myself in the head. At this point in time, I didn't even remember what it was I said, only the fact that Sara had been offended.
An awkward silence ensued, as Sara thought of what to say. "Don't worry about it…" she said. She wasn't at all convincing. "It's not a big deal. It happens all the time…" she lied through her teeth.
'Don't worry about it…' as carelessly as ever. She expected me not to worry about it? How could I not worry about it? I finally got the nerve to ask her to dinner, after all that time pining after her, and I'd screwed it up, within the first twenty minutes. I felt like a high-school student, who had just botched his first date, and was about to ruin his reputation.
Oh, another social casualty, score one more for me.
How could I forget? Mama always said 'think before you speak.'
No filter in my head. Oh, what's a boy to do?
I guess he'd better find one soon.
There was an awkward silence, as both Sara and I searched for the proper topic to try to continue the night with. It didn't exist, plain and simple. No matter what we said, whatever it was I had said would plague my mind. I should have put something through my head, telling me that it as the wrong thing to say. Apparently, my mind doesn't work like that.
We bit our lips. She looked out the window,
Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper.
I played a quick game of chess with the salt and pepper shaker.
And I could see clearly, an indelible line was drawn,
Between what was good, and what just
Slipped out, and what went wrong.
Oh, the way she feels for me has changed.
Thanks for playing, try again.
I didn't understand. Up to that point, everything had gone so smoothly. I wondered if I got another chance. Maybe if after tonight was over, I could ask her back out, and see if I could go through the night without saying something so stupid as whatever it was I had said. It took me so long to work up the courage to ask her out the first time. I wondered how long it would take to try again.
How could I forget? Mama always said 'think before you speak.'
No filter in my head. Oh, what's a boy to do?
I guess he'd better find one soon.
I'm never speaking up again, it only hurts me.
I'd rather be a mystery, than she desert me.
Oh, I'm never speaking up again, starting now.
I couldn't ask her back out. I couldn't even try to salvage this date. I had bruised my chances with Sara Sidle so badly; there was no rebuilding them. I didn't even remember what it was I said, but if it had been bad enough to cause this long of a silence, it must have been purely horrid. Every passing second made me feel even more like an idiot. What had I done? I didn't even remember!
One more thing, why is it my fault?
So, maybe I try too hard.
But it's because of all this desire.
I just want to be liked. I just want to be funny!
Looks like the joke's on me.
So, call me captain backfire.
I'm never speaking up again, it only hurts me.
I'd rather be a mystery, than she desert me.
I had to ask. It was plaguing my mind more than anything. I didn't even remember what it was I had done. I raised my head, finally breaking the oh-so-long silence, and asked, "Sara, what was it I said to make you so upset?"
She laughed a little. "I'm not upset, and you didn't say anything that bad! You just offered me a bite of steak. I'm a vegetarian, remember?" she replied, that charming, beautiful grin, crawling across her face. "Is that why you've been so quiet for so long?" she asked.
"Oh, no…that's not it at all. I just didn't know what to say…" I lied. Now, I felt like an idiot for feeling like an idiot. Oh irony of ironies.
Oh, I'm never speaking up again, starting now.
~~FINI~~
What did you think? This is my first G/S, so be easy on me.