Mending Fences Chapter 8
Beverly sat in front of the fireplace while Jean Luc prepared dinner in the kitchen. Instead of calling her into
the dinning room when the meal was completed, he brought dinner to her. Neither really ate. Their minds
were racing with scattered minutia. Beverly cleared away the dishes and sat back down on the floor next to
Jean Luc. She rested her head on his shoulder.
Her heart felt so heavy as she thought *How can I tell him how I feel? I love him so much but will he ever
love 'me' again? Will he ever touch me without feeling guilty?*
She sighed and nuzzled a little closer to him. Jean Luc felt Beverly trying to get closer to him. He put his
arm around her to let her get as close as she wanted.
So many thoughts and feelings were running through his head *Will she ever really love me? Will she ever
let me love her? Why did she leave the Enterprise? Why did she leave me?* He had to know the answers.
He needed to know. "Beverly… Why did you leave?"
She knew what he was asking but pretended not to, "What do you mean Jean Luc?"
He moved his arm off her and stood. "I need to know why you left the ship. Why you left me. I think I
deserve an explanation."
She sighed as new tears started to form. "I was afraid."
His voice grew to a whisper. "Afraid of what Beverly?"
She stood and walked toward the bay window. "I was afraid of my feelings…"
He tried to interrupt her "Beverly, what are…"
"Jean Luc…Let me finish."
Beverly started to pace the floor. She had no choice, she had to tell him how she felt-how she feels.
She started slowly - from the beginning. "When Jack first introduced me to you, I knew you were not like
any other man I had ever met. You were so confident and so full of your self. I couldn't understand what
Jack saw in you. But as time went on and the three of us began spending more time together, I realized you
were so much more than a stuck up captain. You were a kind and caring man. I felt my feelings toward you
changing. I no longer saw you as Jack's Captain, I saw you as my friend. I also felt myself falling in love
with you."
She paused momentarily in her pacing and turned to face him. When their eyes met, she felt that familiar
feeling returning. She turned away again. If she continued to look at him she wouldn't be able to finish
telling him how she felt.
Beverly took a deep breath. "My heart was urging me to tell you how I felt but my head wouldn't let me hurt
Jack. I decided that the feelings would just go away if I didn't have to see you. And they did… for a while.
When Jack told me you were going to be his best man at our wedding, I felt so guilty. My heart leapt
because I was going to see you again, but I knew it was wrong to have these feelings for the friend of my
future husband."
Jean Luc was stunned into silence. He always knew there was an attraction between Beverly and himself,
but he had no idea she felt so strongly.
Beverly, on the other hand, felt as if a weight was slowing being lifted from her soul. The words were
coming easily now. She had wanted to tell him all this that night in his quarters after their abduction on
Kespryt but her fears made her walk away.
She sighed and continued her story. "When you brought Jack's body home to me after he died, I convinced
myself that he died because someone was trying to punish me for being in love with two men. I vowed to
myself that I would never give into the feelings I had… have for you because you would be ripped from my
heart too." Tears were starting to form in Beverly's brilliant blue eyes.
Jean Luc finally spoke. "Beverly, what happened to Jack was not your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault. It was
an accident."
Beverly wiped at the tears. "I know that in my head but my heart is still afraid to love you."
"Why didn't you tell me this that night in my quarters when I asked you to explore our feelings?"
Her tears were flowing more freely as she spoke. "Don't you see Jean Luc? Everything and everyone I have
ever loved has been cursed with Jacks fate. To this day whoever I give my love to ends up dead or hurt.. First
Jack, then Walker, Nana, Ronin… Even you. The Cardassian's tortured you because you were trying to
protect me, and don't forget the Borg.."
"Beverly, this is ludicrous. Jack's death was NOT your fault. Neither was Walker's. Your grandmother died
a natural death and as for Ronin…You did what you had to do to save your life and the lives of your fellow
officers."
In her head, she knew he was right, but her heart was still terrified that if she stopped denying her love for
him and gave into the feelings- he would leave her just like all the others. She also knew that if she kept
pushing him away she would surly lose him forever. Her mind finally won the battle with her heart. It was
time to tell him how she feels.
*****************************************************************************************************************
"Jean Luc, there is something I've been meaning to tell you…" The words were caught in her throat. "My
life has changed so much since we first met. People have come and gone, but through it all, there has been
one constant, You. You were the glue that kept me together after Jack died. You were there for me when
Wes left for the academy. When Nana died…and Ronin… You never left my side. You've stood behind me
when I needed support. Stood in front of me when I needed protection and stood by my side when I needed
a friend. For all these things and more, I thank you. You are my best friend." She took a deep breath. "I love
you Jean Luc."
Jean Luc was standing in front of Beverly with the biggest, silliest grin on his face. She finally said it.
Finally admitted to herself and to him that she loves him. After a few moments, he realized he still hadn't
said anything. He reached for her hands and pulled her to him. Wrapping his arms around her, he whispered
"And I love you, Beverly."
She pulled back to look in his eyes. Her face moved closer to his and their lips touched in a tentative first
kiss. She felt him smile as their lips parted and they explored the warmth of each other's mouths. She folded
her arms around his neck as her passion for him grew.
They stood in the middle of the room, their tongues exploring, for several moments. Jean Luc let his hands
wander over Beverly's curvaceous hips, up her arms, down her back and back up to her shoulders. As the
palm of his hand grazed her breast, he felt her body change. She was no longer relaxed. He stepped away to
look at her. When he looked in her eyes, he saw fear. He suddenly realized she was trembling. She backed
away from him with a look of sheer terror in her eyes.
"Beverly, what is it? What's wrong?"
Her eyes welled with tears. "It's … It's too soon. I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to make love yet."
He understood. He also realized that it may be a long time before Beverly was ready to take their
relationship to the next level. He coaxed her down to the couch and held her until the tremors stopped. He
was content just knowing Beverly loved him. She fell asleep on the couch, in his arms.
End part 8
Beverly sat in front of the fireplace while Jean Luc prepared dinner in the kitchen. Instead of calling her into
the dinning room when the meal was completed, he brought dinner to her. Neither really ate. Their minds
were racing with scattered minutia. Beverly cleared away the dishes and sat back down on the floor next to
Jean Luc. She rested her head on his shoulder.
Her heart felt so heavy as she thought *How can I tell him how I feel? I love him so much but will he ever
love 'me' again? Will he ever touch me without feeling guilty?*
She sighed and nuzzled a little closer to him. Jean Luc felt Beverly trying to get closer to him. He put his
arm around her to let her get as close as she wanted.
So many thoughts and feelings were running through his head *Will she ever really love me? Will she ever
let me love her? Why did she leave the Enterprise? Why did she leave me?* He had to know the answers.
He needed to know. "Beverly… Why did you leave?"
She knew what he was asking but pretended not to, "What do you mean Jean Luc?"
He moved his arm off her and stood. "I need to know why you left the ship. Why you left me. I think I
deserve an explanation."
She sighed as new tears started to form. "I was afraid."
His voice grew to a whisper. "Afraid of what Beverly?"
She stood and walked toward the bay window. "I was afraid of my feelings…"
He tried to interrupt her "Beverly, what are…"
"Jean Luc…Let me finish."
Beverly started to pace the floor. She had no choice, she had to tell him how she felt-how she feels.
She started slowly - from the beginning. "When Jack first introduced me to you, I knew you were not like
any other man I had ever met. You were so confident and so full of your self. I couldn't understand what
Jack saw in you. But as time went on and the three of us began spending more time together, I realized you
were so much more than a stuck up captain. You were a kind and caring man. I felt my feelings toward you
changing. I no longer saw you as Jack's Captain, I saw you as my friend. I also felt myself falling in love
with you."
She paused momentarily in her pacing and turned to face him. When their eyes met, she felt that familiar
feeling returning. She turned away again. If she continued to look at him she wouldn't be able to finish
telling him how she felt.
Beverly took a deep breath. "My heart was urging me to tell you how I felt but my head wouldn't let me hurt
Jack. I decided that the feelings would just go away if I didn't have to see you. And they did… for a while.
When Jack told me you were going to be his best man at our wedding, I felt so guilty. My heart leapt
because I was going to see you again, but I knew it was wrong to have these feelings for the friend of my
future husband."
Jean Luc was stunned into silence. He always knew there was an attraction between Beverly and himself,
but he had no idea she felt so strongly.
Beverly, on the other hand, felt as if a weight was slowing being lifted from her soul. The words were
coming easily now. She had wanted to tell him all this that night in his quarters after their abduction on
Kespryt but her fears made her walk away.
She sighed and continued her story. "When you brought Jack's body home to me after he died, I convinced
myself that he died because someone was trying to punish me for being in love with two men. I vowed to
myself that I would never give into the feelings I had… have for you because you would be ripped from my
heart too." Tears were starting to form in Beverly's brilliant blue eyes.
Jean Luc finally spoke. "Beverly, what happened to Jack was not your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault. It was
an accident."
Beverly wiped at the tears. "I know that in my head but my heart is still afraid to love you."
"Why didn't you tell me this that night in my quarters when I asked you to explore our feelings?"
Her tears were flowing more freely as she spoke. "Don't you see Jean Luc? Everything and everyone I have
ever loved has been cursed with Jacks fate. To this day whoever I give my love to ends up dead or hurt.. First
Jack, then Walker, Nana, Ronin… Even you. The Cardassian's tortured you because you were trying to
protect me, and don't forget the Borg.."
"Beverly, this is ludicrous. Jack's death was NOT your fault. Neither was Walker's. Your grandmother died
a natural death and as for Ronin…You did what you had to do to save your life and the lives of your fellow
officers."
In her head, she knew he was right, but her heart was still terrified that if she stopped denying her love for
him and gave into the feelings- he would leave her just like all the others. She also knew that if she kept
pushing him away she would surly lose him forever. Her mind finally won the battle with her heart. It was
time to tell him how she feels.
*****************************************************************************************************************
"Jean Luc, there is something I've been meaning to tell you…" The words were caught in her throat. "My
life has changed so much since we first met. People have come and gone, but through it all, there has been
one constant, You. You were the glue that kept me together after Jack died. You were there for me when
Wes left for the academy. When Nana died…and Ronin… You never left my side. You've stood behind me
when I needed support. Stood in front of me when I needed protection and stood by my side when I needed
a friend. For all these things and more, I thank you. You are my best friend." She took a deep breath. "I love
you Jean Luc."
Jean Luc was standing in front of Beverly with the biggest, silliest grin on his face. She finally said it.
Finally admitted to herself and to him that she loves him. After a few moments, he realized he still hadn't
said anything. He reached for her hands and pulled her to him. Wrapping his arms around her, he whispered
"And I love you, Beverly."
She pulled back to look in his eyes. Her face moved closer to his and their lips touched in a tentative first
kiss. She felt him smile as their lips parted and they explored the warmth of each other's mouths. She folded
her arms around his neck as her passion for him grew.
They stood in the middle of the room, their tongues exploring, for several moments. Jean Luc let his hands
wander over Beverly's curvaceous hips, up her arms, down her back and back up to her shoulders. As the
palm of his hand grazed her breast, he felt her body change. She was no longer relaxed. He stepped away to
look at her. When he looked in her eyes, he saw fear. He suddenly realized she was trembling. She backed
away from him with a look of sheer terror in her eyes.
"Beverly, what is it? What's wrong?"
Her eyes welled with tears. "It's … It's too soon. I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to make love yet."
He understood. He also realized that it may be a long time before Beverly was ready to take their
relationship to the next level. He coaxed her down to the couch and held her until the tremors stopped. He
was content just knowing Beverly loved him. She fell asleep on the couch, in his arms.
End part 8