Written in Blood
A Tenchi Muyo- Sailormoon crossover. By Kellybug and Sailor Moonbrat (Partners-in-Crime).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: None of the anime used or mentioned in this story are mine:
Tenchi Muyo is the property of its creator Kajishima Masaki, and its
distributor, Pioneer.
Sailormoon is the property of its creator, Naoko Takeuchi, and its various
distributors.
Card Captor Sakura is the property of its creators at CLAMP.
Pokemon is the property of Nintendo.. at least, the game is. Who lays claim to
the videos, I'm not sure! But, it's not me.
The Dragonball-series, also, does not belong to me.
Also, Outlaw Star (SOB!!) does not belong to me! Though, having Sazuka and Aisha
as sisters might prove "interesting" !
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: I never planned for this story to see thew light of the web.. but, my co-writer,
MoonTwit, decided to use this idea as a part of a story-idea of her's that I'm helping her write. So... up on ff.net it goes!
Any references to actual-people or groups living or (mostly) dead are intentional. I
am mixing this story up with my family-history :)
Flames are MORE than welcome (This house could use the heat!).
Also!! I decided to borrow from the episode of "StarTrek: The Next Generation" that
guest-starred James Doohan of the orinal StarTrek. If you've ever seen that
episode, try to figure out who's playing a version of Doohan's role!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 5
Meanwhile, we went back to studying the pink-line, actually more of a magenta line!-
through the deserts and plains of Central Asia then into southern China! Then the line
veered north to just south of the bend in the Yellow River. Another group of dolls sprang up
to rest there!
"So.." I ponder. "The old legends of the Mamikonians in Armenia descending from Chinese
soldiers are true?"
"Well.. in a way.. although the stories DO get a bit destorted! Hmmm.." Washuu suddenly
became lost in thought. "AHA!" she suddenly announced in a yelp of pleasent surprise! "So
THAT is where the strange-variation I found came from!"
"WHERE ?" The whole lab asked as one! Damn, but we seemed to be drawing interest !!!
"It seems that the thread from China to Armenia flows through a descendent of mine, who
was able to manipulate the powers and spirits of Earth through magics that helped to change
his structure!"
"Who is this descendent, Mom?" Ryoko asked. "Or 'was'?"
"Clow Reed."
I suddenly choke on a sip of tea, while Serena is insanely in fits of laughter!
"We're related to the magi-in-training Li Syaoran? Hunter of the Clow Cards?" I somehow
manage to gasp out.
"Hai!" Washuu smiles.
"I'm not going to have to deal with any stuffed animals," I asked. "Am I?"
"Would you rather deal with Rae Mei-lin?" Serena smirked.
"IIEDE !! IIEDE !! IIEDE !!"
Another round of laughter filled the house !
"Iie!" Washuu smiled. "You will have trouble enough in this family, Kelly-kun! Look!"
Suddenly, something that looked like Mamoru Chiba appears.
"Hmmm..." I ponder. "Yogurt-Boy."
After the laughter had died down to a simmer once again, we started tracing another pink
line. By this time, the program had sit up, and we were so used to using it, that we could
safely go forward in time as well as backwards, and we "traveled with" the family repesented
by the pink line!
"Ah-HA!" I cried out inthusiastically! "Riding with the Cunani! Across the Steppes! Around
the Caspian abd Black Seas! Into the Ukraine! And, then into Hungary! DAMN! I wish I had a
horse!"
"Maybe THIS will soothe your spirit, ny Kipchak-chan?" Washuu smiled as she handed me a
bow and quiver of arrows.
"YEAH !!!" I shouted with glee! "I'm not entirely NAKED, anymore!"
Ayeka started to sweatdrop, as Ryoko started to giggle again. Kiyone was starting to shift
aroound uncomfortably.
"Nani-yo, Kiyone-sama?" Mihoshi asked her partner.
"Hai!" Ryoko smiled. "YOU are not in trouble with our cousin.. still.. are you ?"
Ryoko seems to be having WAY too much un with this!
Kiyone sweatdropped.
"And WHAT", Washuu announced, "is a good cavalryman with his sword and shield?!!!"
Washuu-mama tossed me a curved sword and a round-shield!
"KIP-KUN !!" Serena squealed, wrapping her arms around my tightly.
Ryoko, Nagi, Washuu, and Mihoshi were laughing hysterically...
Tenchi, Nabiyuki, and Yosho were wearing *VERY* stupid grins...
Sasami and Yuugi were trying hard NOT to laugh...
and Ayeka and Kiyone face-faulted.. before fainting, dead on the floor!
After that storm of laughter died.. somehow.. we turned back to the global-positioning
of family-members!
"Hmmm... this green three, the one that goes through the Hungarian Plain where it merges
with the pink and though the Ukraine before that! Who is it, Professor Washuu? Besides my
sister's and my Royal Hungarian roots?"
"The green symolizes the Jovian line, Kelly-kun!" Wadhuu-chan answered. "So! It seems
the Jovians ran with the Magyars!"
"Or where the Magyars running from them?" Ayeka said in low tone to Sasami. If she was
trying to mumble, in didn't work.
Another wave of giggles swept over the laboratory.
"Are certain members of my family the butts of galactic-jokes, Washuu?" I asked.
"A few." Washuu smiled again. I was starting to find it a *little* unnerving!
As we retraced the deminishing bundles of threads again, we followed a thread into what
is now Poland!
"Whose color is purple?" Ser asked.
"Saturnine!" Washuu responded.
"Hmm.." I mused. "In the home of the poisoned blade! Somehow, I doubt Sailorsaturn would
want to be associated with anymore death-images! Oh, well, quite a few good people came from
there, so the place is good for something!" I smile as I remember Mom's mom and her family.
I just hoped the early Polish Royalty, the House of Piast, was just as good!
We moved back, following a line of sea-green down the Italian Pemimsula!
"Hmmm..." Ser mused, "so THIS is where Ms. Perfect hails from!"
"'Ms.Perfect's cousins, imouto-chan!" I correct Ser.
"Whatever."
"Hai!" I sigh. "Neptune... home of the Bitch-Goddesses!"
"How did the ... 'Bitch-Goddess', as you call her, get into your family?" Ayeka asked.
"Well," I took a deep breath, "The Italians, from around Mount Vesuvius, married into the
ruling Norman family of Southern Italy, who, a few generations later, married into the Spanish
line via Barcelona!"
"What's this black line?" Mihoshi asked, staring onto the holographic-globe. "The line
that seem to drops though France into Spain?"
"Yep!" I reply. "One *LAST* line... in the Pyrenees and Catabria ! Who is it, Professor?
Or, What is it? Besides the Spanish royals?"
"More of a 'what', actually!" Washuu snickered. "It depends on your point-of-view. That's
the line of the Plutonian House!"
"What the devil..?"
"A few of the reprepentatives of the Line have been portrayed as such, Serena-chan.
Hai." Washuuu's smile seemed to disappear.
"Personal experience, Washuu?" Kiyone asked.
"Too personal.." Washuu said in a darkened tone. Then she perked up. "Nani-yo? IYA!!!!
IIDE! IIEDE! IIEDE!" Washuu-chan was on the verge of tears. A silvery-tannish-magenta thread
was mixing in with the black thread in Spain. "I CANNOT be related to that line that EARLY!!"
The small genius sobbed. "I-it's UNFAIR !! The.. Plutonians have not had sufficient time to
mix with the locals!! WAAAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA...!!"
Everyone gathered around Washuu in a rescue-effort.
"Will you be alright, Washuu-chan?" Mihoshi asked.
"Hai." Washuu took a long sip of tea, closing her eyes in thought. "Let us leave here."
She then turned back towards Serena and I. "I'll upload this new data onto your floopy-disk,
Kelly-kun! I'll also send a disk with you to run the holographic program on your computer.."
Washuu's pixiesque smile reappeared, as did the mischievious twinkle in her eyes! "After I've
modified your computer, of course!"
I suddenly shivered, as visions of blackened-out cities and monster electric-bills filled
my head!
Washuu giggled.
We all themn went back to the main rooms!
"Well.." Ayeka commented to Sasami just loud enough for others to barely hear, "at least
we now know *why* our new-found cousins are so barbaric!! At least, they cannot help who they
are."
Serena heard the Juraian clearly enough.
"Nani-yo, Princess-Baka?!?!"
At this point, I almost felt sorry for Ayeka. Almost.
"I said that you cannot not help who you are!"
"So another words, you can't help but be 'tree-people', right Ayeka?" Amanda finished off
grinning triumphantly.
"That's it! no one talks to me that way!!" Ayeka started after Amanda, attempting to
strangle her. After Ayeka finally got a hold of Amanda, Amanda gave Ayeka a knee in the groin
and broke Ayeka's hold. Ayeka struck back again by trying to scratch Amanda's eyes out.
They both begin to wrestle as mud appeared out of no where. Then Tenchi tried to reason
with them. "Tried." To call it a big mistake would be a definite-understatement.
"Come on, now! What are we fighting by? Marquis de Queensbury's rules or the Marquis
de Sade's ?"
Both of them looked at Tenchi and yelled together:
"SHUT UP AND STAY OUT OF THIS!!!"
"I'd say that was two votes for de Sade!" I smile over to Washuu.
I quickly look around. Mihoshi and Kiyone seem to be betting on the fight.
Meanwhile, the two women resumed fighting and tearing each other's hair out. They
somehow made it outside and by a road, still fighting. Amanda then grabbed Ayeka by the hair,
dragged her into the road and "took it to the highway", right in the way of an oncoming car!
But, somehow, Ayeka jumped out of the way and then tied up Amanda and tried to throw her in
a river.
Amanda took out a lighter and burned away the ropes then set Ayeka on fire. Ayeka ran
around a while, trying to pat the fire away. Most of us were guiltily smirking at the combatants.
"YES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE HAVE A CTARL-CTARL REMATCH!!!" Nobiyuki laughed out. Both
Ayeka and Amanda stopped. Amanda looked proud to be called a Ctarl Ctarl while Ayeka was a
little more than pissed.
"I'M NOT ANY CTARL CTARL!! I'M A JURIAN PRINCESS!!" Ayeka shouted as she started to attack
the trees around her out of anger. Amanda just leaned against an already blasted tree while
filing her nails, looking quite bored. Ayeka then jumped on Amanda and pulled on her ears.
Amanda then kicked Ayeka into the street to where another car was coming. Ayeka threw energy at the tires causing them to go flat.
"AYAKA-NEKO!" I shouted, "HEEEERRRRE, Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! If you don't like being compared
to a Ctarl-Ctarl, don't get in a cat-fight!!"
Ayeka gave me a look that would freeze fire. "We are not amused. PREPARE TO DIE!!!!"
"Washuu-chan?", I asked, "Would you happen to have an axe? I'm chopping down a tree!"
"Bring it on, Monkey-boy!" Ayeka screamed.
Another big mistake.
"Hey! YAK!" My imouto screamed. "Remember me? You just made *three* MAJOR mistakes! ONE..!"
Serena punched Ayeka in the breasts! Even I winched in pain!
"You forgot about me! NEVER forget about your opponant! TWO..!"
Serena kicked Ayeka just below the stomache, doubling the Yak over like a jackknife!
"You threatened my Hiisan! NO ONE gets away with that but ME! THREE..!"
Serena slapped Ayeka so hard against the side of her head I thought the Princess would
have broken her neck from the sudden twist!
"NEVER compare the Graham family to SAIYANS!!!"
"So," Ayeka said in a calm voice that managed to scare me, "I've made some mistakes? Gomen!
I must rectify them."
Ayeka then plowed head-first in my sister! AT this point, I'm laughing! I can't help it,
Ser *does* like a good fight!
At this point, Kiyone and Mihoshi do something that make me start to wonder about Mihoshi's
good-sense.
The try to break up the fight between Ser and the Yak.
Now, don't get me wrong! The officers' hearts were in the right place, but there's a reason
that most Cops back home don't like taking domestic-calls!
That's because family-fights are a no-win propisition!
Case in point...
"Mihoshi! We're gonna have to break this up!"
"Hai, Kiyone! Before someone gets hurt! Ladies? If you don't mind... HALT!!!!"
As if on cue, Ser and the Yak go from shouting at the top of their lungs at each other to
shouting at the Galaxy Police!
"STAY OUTTA THIS !!!!"
The poor officers jump back as if they had been snakebit! Then they start to cower like
a couple of little whipped pups!
Sasami started to fidget. "I better start dinner.. come on, Yuugi."
"Right behind you, Sasami!"
"Kelly? Ryoko?" Washuu called out. "I have something to do in my lab.. would you join me?"
"But.." I start to answer like a Baka.
"Nani-yo?" Ryoko answered.
"*Now*!!" Washuu screamed through clinched teeth!
I *finally* got the messege. "It's been moved we get out of the range-of-fire!" I start
speaking as fast as an auctioness. "Is there a second?"
"SECOND!!!!" Tenchi screamed. He DOES have a brain that works.. sometimes!
"The motion being moved and seconded...", I somehow catch my breath, "we shall move
outta here! Bye, sis! You and Ayeka have fun!"
With nothing better to do, I find my way to the Masaki kitchen, and to Yuugi and Sasami.
Sasami is busilly chopping and slicing meat to pieces with an expertise I've only seen in Japanese
restaraunts!
"How is your tooth, Sasami-san?" I point towards her knife. "Is it as sharp as it is big?"
"Hai? Tooth? Nani?"
"Your knife." I smile. "I am a collector of proverbs and sayings, and the Turks have a very
imteresting saying: 'The dog that barks much does not bite'! And, I cannot help but notice that
your sister barks enough for the both of you," to this Yuugi let out a quick laugh, "while you remain as silent as a stone! So! I would guess that you have the bigger bite!"
Sasami took a look at the cleaver in her hand. "This?!?!" She yelped in suprise.
"I only use this in the kitchen! Honest!! I'm as gentle as a bunny!!"
I wince. "I was bitten by a bunny, once."
"Oops!" Sasami sweat-dropped. "Wrong analogy."
"Hai." I agree.
"Do not let Sasami fool you!" Yuugi grinned. "When she has to, she can handle a knife very
well in her defense!"
"Well.." I try to let the little princess off the hook- for now. "Anyway! What's cooking?"
"Not a thing!" Sasami said. "Washuu said that, in honor of our Kipchak-cousins, we'd be
eating like the Tatars!"
"So!", I said, looking over the meat, salt, and what smelled like wasabi, "We are have
the original Steak Tatare!"
"Hai!"
"Are you finished with the cleaver, then?"
"Hai."
"Goood!" Then, remembering the hook Yuugi and I had Sasami on, I take a piece of paper, and
draw three concentric circles! Then, I place the target chest-hieght on the kitchen wall.
"You say you are not good at knives except in the kitchen, Sasami? Prove it! Toss that
cleaver!"
I step away from the target.
Sasami throws the cleaver...
It strikes deed-center on the target..
flying right past Ayeka in the process!
*THUD!*
The Yak hit the floor... HARD!!!
Sasami ran over to her sister. "Ayrka! Are you alright? Speak to me! Onegai?
Oneesan?"
The Yak responded with a few giggles and silly bubbles blown out of her mouth.
"Oh, dear." Sasami sighed.
"Well," I grin, "at least Ayeka's breathing! She's not conscious.. but she
IS breathing!!"
Ser was on the floor, dying from laughter!
Unfortunately, Kiyone chose this moment to play super-cop.
"Sasami?" Kiyone stepped in, "I'm afraid I'll have to place you under house-arrest
for attempted..."
*That*s my cousin! She *has* to be. Nobody outside my family has a worse case
of foot-in-mouth disease!
Fortunately, Mihoshi has the remedy! "You can't do that, Kiyone."
"Mihoshi! I know she's our friend, but she just broke the law!"
"You're talking about Galactic Code #137696431-19A.610B, right?"
Everyone sweatdropped at this. Nobody seems to have expected Mihoshi to actually
be able to have memorized a rule!
"Er.... Hai." It was hard for Cousin-Kiyone to admit to anything with a lump the size
of a *grapefruit* in her throat!
If I had said that I was not enjoying this, I would have been lying to myself, to
everyone here, and to God!
"You can forget it, then," Mihoshi said, "Beacuse it won't stand up in court! You'd
only look like a Baka in front of the Majestrate and Police-Commissioner."
THAT lit a fire under the prideful-officer Kiyone!
"And HOW would you know that, Ms. 'I-Haven't-Looked-At-The-Police-Manual-
Since-I-Got-Back-To-Earth'?"
Our pride *never* even *considers* the fact we could be wrong! Way to go, Cuz!
"Read down to Subsection 610C, paragraphs 1 through 4!" Mihoshi used the calmest
voice she could to counter Kiyone's tirade.
Kiyone read farther down, and facefaulted! "I'm gonna be sick", she whimpered.
"How did you know about this clause, Mihoshi?"
"Sinple. I wrote it."
At this point, Ryoko is on the floor with Ser, racked by giggles and guffaws!
And Kiyone has fallen flat on her face !!!!
"Owwwwwwwwww..", The lump on the floor identified as Officer Kiyone groaned out. "YOU
authored a Galactic-Law, Mihoshi? What day? What month? What year did this happen? And who
approved it?"
"Ahhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm.." Mihoshi looked out in concentration. "If I remember, I was asked
to review that rule about three years ago! The Judges at HQ decided that they had too many cases
where Galactic Patrol's cases were being overturned on appeal! It seemed this particular law
was being applied where it was the weakest, and there was no way to link evidence and
testimony in those cases to successfully back up the law! Particularly, when it was applied
to members of the Juraian Royal-Court."
"BUT IT WAS *WRITTEN* ESPECIALLY *FOR* THE JURAIAN ROYAL-COURT!" Kiyone screamed in
frustration. spinning around to a slowly-rising Princess Ayeka. "AT THEIR REQUEST!!!!"
"Hai." Mihoshi bowed in apology.
"Hmmm... nice throw, Sasami!" I smiled walking back to the target and picking a small scrap
of liver off the cleaver. "Would have pierced my vena-cava!"
*THUD*
"Ayeka-Oneesan?"
A Tenchi Muyo- Sailormoon crossover. By Kellybug and Sailor Moonbrat (Partners-in-Crime).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: None of the anime used or mentioned in this story are mine:
Tenchi Muyo is the property of its creator Kajishima Masaki, and its
distributor, Pioneer.
Sailormoon is the property of its creator, Naoko Takeuchi, and its various
distributors.
Card Captor Sakura is the property of its creators at CLAMP.
Pokemon is the property of Nintendo.. at least, the game is. Who lays claim to
the videos, I'm not sure! But, it's not me.
The Dragonball-series, also, does not belong to me.
Also, Outlaw Star (SOB!!) does not belong to me! Though, having Sazuka and Aisha
as sisters might prove "interesting" !
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: I never planned for this story to see thew light of the web.. but, my co-writer,
MoonTwit, decided to use this idea as a part of a story-idea of her's that I'm helping her write. So... up on ff.net it goes!
Any references to actual-people or groups living or (mostly) dead are intentional. I
am mixing this story up with my family-history :)
Flames are MORE than welcome (This house could use the heat!).
Also!! I decided to borrow from the episode of "StarTrek: The Next Generation" that
guest-starred James Doohan of the orinal StarTrek. If you've ever seen that
episode, try to figure out who's playing a version of Doohan's role!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 5
Meanwhile, we went back to studying the pink-line, actually more of a magenta line!-
through the deserts and plains of Central Asia then into southern China! Then the line
veered north to just south of the bend in the Yellow River. Another group of dolls sprang up
to rest there!
"So.." I ponder. "The old legends of the Mamikonians in Armenia descending from Chinese
soldiers are true?"
"Well.. in a way.. although the stories DO get a bit destorted! Hmmm.." Washuu suddenly
became lost in thought. "AHA!" she suddenly announced in a yelp of pleasent surprise! "So
THAT is where the strange-variation I found came from!"
"WHERE ?" The whole lab asked as one! Damn, but we seemed to be drawing interest !!!
"It seems that the thread from China to Armenia flows through a descendent of mine, who
was able to manipulate the powers and spirits of Earth through magics that helped to change
his structure!"
"Who is this descendent, Mom?" Ryoko asked. "Or 'was'?"
"Clow Reed."
I suddenly choke on a sip of tea, while Serena is insanely in fits of laughter!
"We're related to the magi-in-training Li Syaoran? Hunter of the Clow Cards?" I somehow
manage to gasp out.
"Hai!" Washuu smiles.
"I'm not going to have to deal with any stuffed animals," I asked. "Am I?"
"Would you rather deal with Rae Mei-lin?" Serena smirked.
"IIEDE !! IIEDE !! IIEDE !!"
Another round of laughter filled the house !
"Iie!" Washuu smiled. "You will have trouble enough in this family, Kelly-kun! Look!"
Suddenly, something that looked like Mamoru Chiba appears.
"Hmmm..." I ponder. "Yogurt-Boy."
After the laughter had died down to a simmer once again, we started tracing another pink
line. By this time, the program had sit up, and we were so used to using it, that we could
safely go forward in time as well as backwards, and we "traveled with" the family repesented
by the pink line!
"Ah-HA!" I cried out inthusiastically! "Riding with the Cunani! Across the Steppes! Around
the Caspian abd Black Seas! Into the Ukraine! And, then into Hungary! DAMN! I wish I had a
horse!"
"Maybe THIS will soothe your spirit, ny Kipchak-chan?" Washuu smiled as she handed me a
bow and quiver of arrows.
"YEAH !!!" I shouted with glee! "I'm not entirely NAKED, anymore!"
Ayeka started to sweatdrop, as Ryoko started to giggle again. Kiyone was starting to shift
aroound uncomfortably.
"Nani-yo, Kiyone-sama?" Mihoshi asked her partner.
"Hai!" Ryoko smiled. "YOU are not in trouble with our cousin.. still.. are you ?"
Ryoko seems to be having WAY too much un with this!
Kiyone sweatdropped.
"And WHAT", Washuu announced, "is a good cavalryman with his sword and shield?!!!"
Washuu-mama tossed me a curved sword and a round-shield!
"KIP-KUN !!" Serena squealed, wrapping her arms around my tightly.
Ryoko, Nagi, Washuu, and Mihoshi were laughing hysterically...
Tenchi, Nabiyuki, and Yosho were wearing *VERY* stupid grins...
Sasami and Yuugi were trying hard NOT to laugh...
and Ayeka and Kiyone face-faulted.. before fainting, dead on the floor!
After that storm of laughter died.. somehow.. we turned back to the global-positioning
of family-members!
"Hmmm... this green three, the one that goes through the Hungarian Plain where it merges
with the pink and though the Ukraine before that! Who is it, Professor Washuu? Besides my
sister's and my Royal Hungarian roots?"
"The green symolizes the Jovian line, Kelly-kun!" Wadhuu-chan answered. "So! It seems
the Jovians ran with the Magyars!"
"Or where the Magyars running from them?" Ayeka said in low tone to Sasami. If she was
trying to mumble, in didn't work.
Another wave of giggles swept over the laboratory.
"Are certain members of my family the butts of galactic-jokes, Washuu?" I asked.
"A few." Washuu smiled again. I was starting to find it a *little* unnerving!
As we retraced the deminishing bundles of threads again, we followed a thread into what
is now Poland!
"Whose color is purple?" Ser asked.
"Saturnine!" Washuu responded.
"Hmm.." I mused. "In the home of the poisoned blade! Somehow, I doubt Sailorsaturn would
want to be associated with anymore death-images! Oh, well, quite a few good people came from
there, so the place is good for something!" I smile as I remember Mom's mom and her family.
I just hoped the early Polish Royalty, the House of Piast, was just as good!
We moved back, following a line of sea-green down the Italian Pemimsula!
"Hmmm..." Ser mused, "so THIS is where Ms. Perfect hails from!"
"'Ms.Perfect's cousins, imouto-chan!" I correct Ser.
"Whatever."
"Hai!" I sigh. "Neptune... home of the Bitch-Goddesses!"
"How did the ... 'Bitch-Goddess', as you call her, get into your family?" Ayeka asked.
"Well," I took a deep breath, "The Italians, from around Mount Vesuvius, married into the
ruling Norman family of Southern Italy, who, a few generations later, married into the Spanish
line via Barcelona!"
"What's this black line?" Mihoshi asked, staring onto the holographic-globe. "The line
that seem to drops though France into Spain?"
"Yep!" I reply. "One *LAST* line... in the Pyrenees and Catabria ! Who is it, Professor?
Or, What is it? Besides the Spanish royals?"
"More of a 'what', actually!" Washuu snickered. "It depends on your point-of-view. That's
the line of the Plutonian House!"
"What the devil..?"
"A few of the reprepentatives of the Line have been portrayed as such, Serena-chan.
Hai." Washuuu's smile seemed to disappear.
"Personal experience, Washuu?" Kiyone asked.
"Too personal.." Washuu said in a darkened tone. Then she perked up. "Nani-yo? IYA!!!!
IIDE! IIEDE! IIEDE!" Washuu-chan was on the verge of tears. A silvery-tannish-magenta thread
was mixing in with the black thread in Spain. "I CANNOT be related to that line that EARLY!!"
The small genius sobbed. "I-it's UNFAIR !! The.. Plutonians have not had sufficient time to
mix with the locals!! WAAAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA...!!"
Everyone gathered around Washuu in a rescue-effort.
"Will you be alright, Washuu-chan?" Mihoshi asked.
"Hai." Washuu took a long sip of tea, closing her eyes in thought. "Let us leave here."
She then turned back towards Serena and I. "I'll upload this new data onto your floopy-disk,
Kelly-kun! I'll also send a disk with you to run the holographic program on your computer.."
Washuu's pixiesque smile reappeared, as did the mischievious twinkle in her eyes! "After I've
modified your computer, of course!"
I suddenly shivered, as visions of blackened-out cities and monster electric-bills filled
my head!
Washuu giggled.
We all themn went back to the main rooms!
"Well.." Ayeka commented to Sasami just loud enough for others to barely hear, "at least
we now know *why* our new-found cousins are so barbaric!! At least, they cannot help who they
are."
Serena heard the Juraian clearly enough.
"Nani-yo, Princess-Baka?!?!"
At this point, I almost felt sorry for Ayeka. Almost.
"I said that you cannot not help who you are!"
"So another words, you can't help but be 'tree-people', right Ayeka?" Amanda finished off
grinning triumphantly.
"That's it! no one talks to me that way!!" Ayeka started after Amanda, attempting to
strangle her. After Ayeka finally got a hold of Amanda, Amanda gave Ayeka a knee in the groin
and broke Ayeka's hold. Ayeka struck back again by trying to scratch Amanda's eyes out.
They both begin to wrestle as mud appeared out of no where. Then Tenchi tried to reason
with them. "Tried." To call it a big mistake would be a definite-understatement.
"Come on, now! What are we fighting by? Marquis de Queensbury's rules or the Marquis
de Sade's ?"
Both of them looked at Tenchi and yelled together:
"SHUT UP AND STAY OUT OF THIS!!!"
"I'd say that was two votes for de Sade!" I smile over to Washuu.
I quickly look around. Mihoshi and Kiyone seem to be betting on the fight.
Meanwhile, the two women resumed fighting and tearing each other's hair out. They
somehow made it outside and by a road, still fighting. Amanda then grabbed Ayeka by the hair,
dragged her into the road and "took it to the highway", right in the way of an oncoming car!
But, somehow, Ayeka jumped out of the way and then tied up Amanda and tried to throw her in
a river.
Amanda took out a lighter and burned away the ropes then set Ayeka on fire. Ayeka ran
around a while, trying to pat the fire away. Most of us were guiltily smirking at the combatants.
"YES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE HAVE A CTARL-CTARL REMATCH!!!" Nobiyuki laughed out. Both
Ayeka and Amanda stopped. Amanda looked proud to be called a Ctarl Ctarl while Ayeka was a
little more than pissed.
"I'M NOT ANY CTARL CTARL!! I'M A JURIAN PRINCESS!!" Ayeka shouted as she started to attack
the trees around her out of anger. Amanda just leaned against an already blasted tree while
filing her nails, looking quite bored. Ayeka then jumped on Amanda and pulled on her ears.
Amanda then kicked Ayeka into the street to where another car was coming. Ayeka threw energy at the tires causing them to go flat.
"AYAKA-NEKO!" I shouted, "HEEEERRRRE, Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! If you don't like being compared
to a Ctarl-Ctarl, don't get in a cat-fight!!"
Ayeka gave me a look that would freeze fire. "We are not amused. PREPARE TO DIE!!!!"
"Washuu-chan?", I asked, "Would you happen to have an axe? I'm chopping down a tree!"
"Bring it on, Monkey-boy!" Ayeka screamed.
Another big mistake.
"Hey! YAK!" My imouto screamed. "Remember me? You just made *three* MAJOR mistakes! ONE..!"
Serena punched Ayeka in the breasts! Even I winched in pain!
"You forgot about me! NEVER forget about your opponant! TWO..!"
Serena kicked Ayeka just below the stomache, doubling the Yak over like a jackknife!
"You threatened my Hiisan! NO ONE gets away with that but ME! THREE..!"
Serena slapped Ayeka so hard against the side of her head I thought the Princess would
have broken her neck from the sudden twist!
"NEVER compare the Graham family to SAIYANS!!!"
"So," Ayeka said in a calm voice that managed to scare me, "I've made some mistakes? Gomen!
I must rectify them."
Ayeka then plowed head-first in my sister! AT this point, I'm laughing! I can't help it,
Ser *does* like a good fight!
At this point, Kiyone and Mihoshi do something that make me start to wonder about Mihoshi's
good-sense.
The try to break up the fight between Ser and the Yak.
Now, don't get me wrong! The officers' hearts were in the right place, but there's a reason
that most Cops back home don't like taking domestic-calls!
That's because family-fights are a no-win propisition!
Case in point...
"Mihoshi! We're gonna have to break this up!"
"Hai, Kiyone! Before someone gets hurt! Ladies? If you don't mind... HALT!!!!"
As if on cue, Ser and the Yak go from shouting at the top of their lungs at each other to
shouting at the Galaxy Police!
"STAY OUTTA THIS !!!!"
The poor officers jump back as if they had been snakebit! Then they start to cower like
a couple of little whipped pups!
Sasami started to fidget. "I better start dinner.. come on, Yuugi."
"Right behind you, Sasami!"
"Kelly? Ryoko?" Washuu called out. "I have something to do in my lab.. would you join me?"
"But.." I start to answer like a Baka.
"Nani-yo?" Ryoko answered.
"*Now*!!" Washuu screamed through clinched teeth!
I *finally* got the messege. "It's been moved we get out of the range-of-fire!" I start
speaking as fast as an auctioness. "Is there a second?"
"SECOND!!!!" Tenchi screamed. He DOES have a brain that works.. sometimes!
"The motion being moved and seconded...", I somehow catch my breath, "we shall move
outta here! Bye, sis! You and Ayeka have fun!"
With nothing better to do, I find my way to the Masaki kitchen, and to Yuugi and Sasami.
Sasami is busilly chopping and slicing meat to pieces with an expertise I've only seen in Japanese
restaraunts!
"How is your tooth, Sasami-san?" I point towards her knife. "Is it as sharp as it is big?"
"Hai? Tooth? Nani?"
"Your knife." I smile. "I am a collector of proverbs and sayings, and the Turks have a very
imteresting saying: 'The dog that barks much does not bite'! And, I cannot help but notice that
your sister barks enough for the both of you," to this Yuugi let out a quick laugh, "while you remain as silent as a stone! So! I would guess that you have the bigger bite!"
Sasami took a look at the cleaver in her hand. "This?!?!" She yelped in suprise.
"I only use this in the kitchen! Honest!! I'm as gentle as a bunny!!"
I wince. "I was bitten by a bunny, once."
"Oops!" Sasami sweat-dropped. "Wrong analogy."
"Hai." I agree.
"Do not let Sasami fool you!" Yuugi grinned. "When she has to, she can handle a knife very
well in her defense!"
"Well.." I try to let the little princess off the hook- for now. "Anyway! What's cooking?"
"Not a thing!" Sasami said. "Washuu said that, in honor of our Kipchak-cousins, we'd be
eating like the Tatars!"
"So!", I said, looking over the meat, salt, and what smelled like wasabi, "We are have
the original Steak Tatare!"
"Hai!"
"Are you finished with the cleaver, then?"
"Hai."
"Goood!" Then, remembering the hook Yuugi and I had Sasami on, I take a piece of paper, and
draw three concentric circles! Then, I place the target chest-hieght on the kitchen wall.
"You say you are not good at knives except in the kitchen, Sasami? Prove it! Toss that
cleaver!"
I step away from the target.
Sasami throws the cleaver...
It strikes deed-center on the target..
flying right past Ayeka in the process!
*THUD!*
The Yak hit the floor... HARD!!!
Sasami ran over to her sister. "Ayrka! Are you alright? Speak to me! Onegai?
Oneesan?"
The Yak responded with a few giggles and silly bubbles blown out of her mouth.
"Oh, dear." Sasami sighed.
"Well," I grin, "at least Ayeka's breathing! She's not conscious.. but she
IS breathing!!"
Ser was on the floor, dying from laughter!
Unfortunately, Kiyone chose this moment to play super-cop.
"Sasami?" Kiyone stepped in, "I'm afraid I'll have to place you under house-arrest
for attempted..."
*That*s my cousin! She *has* to be. Nobody outside my family has a worse case
of foot-in-mouth disease!
Fortunately, Mihoshi has the remedy! "You can't do that, Kiyone."
"Mihoshi! I know she's our friend, but she just broke the law!"
"You're talking about Galactic Code #137696431-19A.610B, right?"
Everyone sweatdropped at this. Nobody seems to have expected Mihoshi to actually
be able to have memorized a rule!
"Er.... Hai." It was hard for Cousin-Kiyone to admit to anything with a lump the size
of a *grapefruit* in her throat!
If I had said that I was not enjoying this, I would have been lying to myself, to
everyone here, and to God!
"You can forget it, then," Mihoshi said, "Beacuse it won't stand up in court! You'd
only look like a Baka in front of the Majestrate and Police-Commissioner."
THAT lit a fire under the prideful-officer Kiyone!
"And HOW would you know that, Ms. 'I-Haven't-Looked-At-The-Police-Manual-
Since-I-Got-Back-To-Earth'?"
Our pride *never* even *considers* the fact we could be wrong! Way to go, Cuz!
"Read down to Subsection 610C, paragraphs 1 through 4!" Mihoshi used the calmest
voice she could to counter Kiyone's tirade.
Kiyone read farther down, and facefaulted! "I'm gonna be sick", she whimpered.
"How did you know about this clause, Mihoshi?"
"Sinple. I wrote it."
At this point, Ryoko is on the floor with Ser, racked by giggles and guffaws!
And Kiyone has fallen flat on her face !!!!
"Owwwwwwwwww..", The lump on the floor identified as Officer Kiyone groaned out. "YOU
authored a Galactic-Law, Mihoshi? What day? What month? What year did this happen? And who
approved it?"
"Ahhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm.." Mihoshi looked out in concentration. "If I remember, I was asked
to review that rule about three years ago! The Judges at HQ decided that they had too many cases
where Galactic Patrol's cases were being overturned on appeal! It seemed this particular law
was being applied where it was the weakest, and there was no way to link evidence and
testimony in those cases to successfully back up the law! Particularly, when it was applied
to members of the Juraian Royal-Court."
"BUT IT WAS *WRITTEN* ESPECIALLY *FOR* THE JURAIAN ROYAL-COURT!" Kiyone screamed in
frustration. spinning around to a slowly-rising Princess Ayeka. "AT THEIR REQUEST!!!!"
"Hai." Mihoshi bowed in apology.
"Hmmm... nice throw, Sasami!" I smiled walking back to the target and picking a small scrap
of liver off the cleaver. "Would have pierced my vena-cava!"
*THUD*
"Ayeka-Oneesan?"