Written in Blood
A Tenchi Muyo- Sailormoon crossover. By Kellybug and Sailor Moonbrat (Partners-in-Crime).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: None of the anime used or mentioned in this story are mine:
Tenchi Muyo is the property of its creator Kajishima Masaki, and its
distributor, Pioneer.
Sailormoon is the property of its creator, Naoko Takeuchi, and its various
distributors.
Card Captor Sakura is the property of its creators at CLAMP.
Pokemon is the property of Nintendo.. at least, the game is. Who lays claim to
the videos, I'm not sure! But, it's not me.
The Dragonball-series, also, does not belong to me.
Also, Outlaw Star (SOB!!) does not belong to me! Though, having Sazuka and Aisha
as sisters might prove "interesting" !
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: I never planned for this story to see thew light of the web.. but, my co-writer,
MoonTwit, decided to use this idea as a part of a story-idea of her's that I'm helping her write. So... up on ff.net it goes!
Any references to actual-people or groups living or (mostly) dead are intentional. I
am mixing this story up with my family-history :)
Flames are MORE than welcome (This house could use the heat!).
Also!! I decided to borrow from the episode of "StarTrek: The Next Generation" that
guest-starred James Doohan of the orinal StarTrek. If you've ever seen that
episode, try to figure out who's playing a version of Doohan's role!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 7
"JUPITER.."
Usagi got worried. "Mako-chan?"
"THUNDER.."
"I would not.."
"DRAGON!!!"
**Ka-Ka-Krash!! BOOM!!!!**
Usagi sighed. "Never mind."
I don't know what Ser's excuse was.. maybe she likes pain.. but I was just too slow!
Anyway, that *damned* Dragon got us both !!!!
"WHAT are you trying to do... lady?" My Imouto growled out after the smoke cleared.
"Char-BROIL us????"
"How about putting your dragon on a LEASH, kid?!?!?!" I snapped out.
Were we irritated? Just a little.
"'Mako-chan'? Is that what Uagi called you?" I was losing my temper. I knew it.. and I
didn'r care! "Well.. 'Mako-chan'.. here's your DAMNED dragon right BACK at you"!
**Ka-Ka-Krash!! BOOM!!!!**
Fireworks and lightning.. went.. EVERYWHERE!! I couldn't REMEMBER seeing a better show!
When the smoke cleared, Jupiter was still standing! She was singed.. but still standing!
"Mmmm.." I said, smacking and licking my lips, "Blackened Senshi! I wonder if Emeril has
the recipe?"
"COOL TRICK!" Ser giggled. "Hey, Mako-can?.. do you do parties?"
"How did you do that?" Jupiter cried out. "Never mind.. don't tell me! I don't CARE! You
two are *so* DEAD!"
"Oh, dear." Usagi groaned. "Hotaru-chan? Prepare for triage."
"Jupiter... Oak... EVOLUTION !!!"
Thousands of electric leaves suddenly flew around Serena and I, cutting us a bit, but,
mostly, scaring us silly.
However, through sheer will and pure adrenaline, we were finally- SOMEHOW- able to throw
those stupid leaves back at the gunner!
And I was MADDER than HELL!!!! But, I wasn't sure who I was madder AT!!!! Was I madder at
Mako-chan for throwing the electric oak leaves at us? Or, was I madder at Sere for for BAITING
this she-bear?
'Wait-a-minute.. who threw the first punch? If Mako hadn't thrown that damned Dragon at us,
my Imouto wouldn't have goaded her into attacking! But if Sere hadn't... But, Mako helped throw
the first... Oh, DAMN! My head hurts!'
"Do you need any help, Graham-Sama?" Kiyone asked as I massaged my temples.
"Iie. You just watch over Sailoruranus, Senior.. yoshi? I'll look after Sailoruranus, Junoir!"
"NANI????" The She-Bear roared again. "'Sailoruranus,.. Junior'?"
"Well.. Jupiter.. you ARE reminding me of everything I've heard about Sailoruranus! You are
BOTH mostly action... very little thought is involved!"
I chuckled. Actually, she was another one in the Venus-Class Senshi.
"Why do you.. laugh?" Jupiter stared at me.
I was losing it.. my sanity.
"Bishoujo? If you had a brain, you'd actually be dangerous!"
I could see the last bit of my Sanity fly away on the wings of a hummingbird. Bye-bye!
The She-Bear of Jupiter reared and charged.
And, I officially snapped.
"Don't hurt my shrine?" The black-haired girl pleaded. "Onegai?"
"Tell HER that!!!!"
"Tell HIM that!!!!"
"Sparkling.. wide..! **GURKG!!**"
I never give the lady a chance to finish her attack. The next thing I know.. I'm girroting
the tall brunette, the web between my thumb and forefinger catching neatly just above her windpipe,
right up against an aged cherry tree! I hit with such force, the tree shook! Don't even ASK me
WHY that didn't kill her!!
"You..", I hiss out, tasting my venom, "are *not* nice!" By this time, I can feel tears in my
eyes and my throat starting to spasm. That's never a good sign. I then release my girrot on Jupiter, letting her fall forward..
Then, I hit her kidneys with my knuckles! I know that fighting a girl is wrong. I know
*fighting* is wrong! But, at this point, I'm beyond caring!
"WHAT the HELL are you THINKING ABOUT?" I scream out as tears flow down my face and I throw a
hard, fast fist into Jupiter's stomache going up under the ribcage. "WHAT have me and MY FAMILY
.. EVER.. done to YOU????" By now, I'm hyper-ventillating. "Do you know.. how much.. I.. hate..
fighting????"
As Jupiter is doubling-over, I finish the fight. I double my fists anf bring them and my
forearms down HARD across the Senshi's shoulders and back! This pushes Jupiter's brests forcefully against my knee.
If that doesn't take the fight out of her.. nothing will.
It sure the HELL drained the fight out of me!
Well.. maybe not ALL the fight..
As I get on all fours, trying to steady myself so I can get up, I leave Jupiter a warning:
"You start.. to.. attack again.. you even *twitch*.. so help me.. I'll bury you under this
God-damned tree!! Got it??"
Then, I heard something I NEVER would have expected! Insted od a grumbled "Hai", or death-
threats, I hear CRYING! They were actually soft sobs.. but they were still TEARS!
Oh, great.. I made her cry! Bakayoro Graham!
"Gomem nisai, Jupiter-Sama! I did not mean to..!"
"Naze? Why must this always happen?" Jupiter squeaked out. "Why must the Senshi in me always
get the BETTER of me! This wasn't supposed to happen! Their Usagi-chan's friends.. they would
not harm her! Now Usagi's hurt.. and it's all my fault! Naze?"
'Oh.. DAMN! It's happening again. The Mother Hen in me is starting to cluck.'
I'm the victim of a family-trait, you see.. "Mother-Hen-itis"! Most families, growing up,
usually wind up with stray dogs, or cats.. my family picked up stray-people!
I, obviously, am no exception!
"Shhh.. Shhh.. Yoshi, Jupiter-Sama!" I took a light-hold of my enemy. "It's OK! It'll be
alright.."
"Iiede.. I an cursed.. I will be alone.."
"Shhhhhhhhhhhh.. Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.. It's Ok.. just a misunderstanding.."
I started to lightly caress and pet a violently-shaken Senshi, trying my best to calm her
down. Don't ask me how long we sat there. I, honestly, have NO idea! And neither did anyone else.
They seemed to be mesmerized on me and Jupiter! And all I was doing was PETTING her!
Soon, Jupter's crying had ended and.. well, she wasn't *exactly* breathing normally.. it
was more like the deep, slow breathing you associate with sleep- or with meditation!
I hate this... but I have to wake her up!
"Sailorjupiter? Sailorjupiter?" I whisper softly.
I put my fingers next to her ear.
**Snap**
Slowly, the tall girl wakes up. She opens her eyes.. and suddenly takes my hand and *kisses*
it!
I suddenly lose me ability to speak intelligently. "Ahhh... Whyyyyiiiii.. Ariiii.. gatou..
hmmmm.. errr... Missssssss..?"
"Kino... Kino Makoto."
"Hai, Kino-Sama!" I suddenly snap to attention. I hope no one notices how red I'm getting!
Someone does.. my sister..
"Kelly and Mako-chan sitting in a tree.. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.."
"Gome nisai, Kino-Sama," I sigh, "but I have to kill my Imouto."
As I try to turn away, without showing too much embarassment (thank you, Ser!), a voice
suddenly cries from out of the sky...
"LOOK OUT BELOW!!!!"
!!!! BONK !!!!
*Thud!*
Ouch.
What hit me?
I look up.. into two of the REDDEST eyes I will EVER see!
*Blink*Blink*
I slowly get up on my elbows.
"Where did you come from, Munchkin?" I asked the little bundle of Cotton-Candy.
Serena was laughing to the point of tears! "When did Umpa-Looma-Land let out?"
Cotton-Candy-top suddenly threw her arms around my neck! "Kelly-Haku!!"
"'Kelly-Haku'?" I mouth out. "'Uncle Kelly'?"
I slowly turn to my sister:
"Amanda Serena Graham?" I point to the piece of Cotton Candy hanging tightly around my neck.
"Is there something you haven't told Mom about?"
Serena has the "What-The-Hell-Are-You-Talking-About-Bro?"-look on her face, something
between amused and mad-as-hell, than she looks at the piece of Cotton-Candy again.
"Damn, she's cute! Where's you find HER, Niisan? And ain't she a bit young for you ? *Heehee!* HEY! *Hahaha!* With the way you got the women falling for you *hoohoohoo!*, maybe I should start calling you *gasp!* 'Tenchi Masaki, Jr.'! *heeheeheehaa!*"
"*Very* funny, Imouto!" I grin. I'm gonna LOVE this next part. "This little piece-of-sunshine
here just called me her 'Uncle'!"
Serna's laughter suddenly stopped. "And you think *I* had something to do with it?"
"Well.. her hair IS kinda red.. sorta.. but, where'd she get those red eyes from?"
Cotton-Candy-Top than turned to look at Amanda.
Sis started to run..
"Serena-obaasan!"
Amanda stopped fast!
OK.. If I'm CC's uncle.. and Serena's her Aunt.. who's darling is she?
I look down at the little face blinking up at me.. then I do a quick scan of the area, my
eyes finally falling on Usagi!
I gently pick CC up, then walk over to Usagi.
"Somehow, I get the feeling this little paperweight is yours?"
"Chibiusa?" Usagi asked, taking the small bundle away from around my neck, "What are you
doing here?"
"Kidzukau ne, Hahai!" Chibiusa smiled. "Everything is alright! I've just heard so many stories aboutu Kelly-Haku and Serena-Obaasan that I wanted to come and see if the stories were true! Kelly and Serena tell me a little.. but not much.. and Kelly always says try to get the other side of the story! But.. well.. hardly anyone else SAYS anything!"
"I wonder why...?" Usagi asked in a slow breath.
Amanda and I get a sudden attack of the giggles that bends us BOTH over like jack-knives!
"Kidzukau muyo!" Chibiusa explained to Usagi. "You and Chichi and Puu said it would be alright if I came back!" Then, she looked up at Usagi. "Have I missed the fight between Mokoto and Kelly, yet?"
"Hai."
"Damn!"
Although thst last word was whispered, everybody seemed to hear it, as all eyes turned to our tuft of cotton-candy, henceforth known as Chibiusa!
"Chibiusa?" Usagi asked slowly, "Where..? When..? How did you learn that word?"
"Well.. Hahai.."
So.. Chibiusa is Usagi's little Dumpling? But where'd she come from?
"Chibi..usa? Hime?" Makoto seemed to stammer just a little bit. "Who.. told you about the
fight.. between.. Kelly-Sama.. and myself?"
Hmmm.. "Lord Kelly", is it, now? Since when did I earn a title?
"Minako-obaasan!" Chibiusa smiled.
Uh oh! As my imouto says.. "Busted!"
"DAMN IT, Minako-BAKA!" Makoto unwound with cat-like grace. "PREPARE TO DIE!!!!"
"Chibiusa?" Usagi sighed. "Toku muyo!"
"Hai." Chibiusa sighed and patted her mother softly on the shoulder.
Ryoko burst out laughing, followed by Kiyone, Mihoshi, and Serena! I just giggled and shook
my head.
"Kami-Sama!" Ayeka gasped. "Do I REALLY sound THAT pathetic?"
"USAGI-HIME!" The black-haired girl in the red fuku suddenly screeched. "Those two GAIJIN
are making us look like BAKAYORO!!"
"That is not hard to do." Ryoko and Ayeka muttered.
"NANI???" The dark-haired fireball sputtered. "You DARE to mock a Senshi?"
"Hahai?" Ryoko asked Washuu, "Were the Senshi YOU met this full of themselves?"
"Hai", Washuu looked sympathetically towards Usagi.
"Like Christmas-stuffed geese", Serena and I muttered.
"WHAT Was THAT?" The hothead in the fuku said. "You will PAY for insulting the Senshi!"
"How much?", I ask as I pull out my wallet. "I'm sure the price is worth it."
"THAT'S IT!" The Senshi screamed. "In the place of Mars.."
"Rei-chan..?" Usagi asked worriedly.
"I SHALL PUNISH YOU!!"
"Niisan?" Serena asked. "Don't you think that Usagi sounds better saying it?"
The Senshi, now know as "Rei" if I heard Usagi right, charged after us, then cried out:
"KIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!"
Next thing I know, a side-swept leg is coming to the heads of me and my sister!
The next-thing this mad-woman knows, I catch that leg before is connects!
Then.. at great risk of being called a Hentai.. I take the heel of my hand, and shove it HARD, *right* up a place that really give this bitch something to cry about!
Rei suddenly backed up... and fell to her knees! Then, she squeaked.
"Eeeeeiiiii.. Hime.. it hurts!"
Even Haruka and Michiru winced at that one!
"Ewwwwwwwwwwww!!" Chibiusa made a face. Then she turned to Usagi. "Nobody TOLD me about THAT
part!"
"I can guess why." Usagi said.
"Rei-obaasan deserved it, however."
"Hai."
"Rin - Ryou - Rou - Sha - Tai - Kai - Shi - Retsu - Sai - Zen," the dark haired girl
chanted slowly, then slapped us silly with a piece of paper! A charm, maybe?
"AKURO TAISEN!!"
The pieces of paper themselves did not hurt us.. despite the widely-held belief
that Amanda's possessed.. but the crazy-woman slapped us HARD against the forehead!
"What are you trying to do?" Amanda said in that calm voice the most people have come
to fear. Then my sister turns to Usagi. "Usagi-san? Has she had her shots yet?"
"Burning MANDALA!!!!"
Suddenly, Amanda Serena and I are being buzzed by rings of fire!! We crouched and ran at
the same time, trying to get out of the range of this maniac! And my sister is starting to show
signs of panic. That fire is coming WAY too close!
"HEY! PYRO!" I shouted. "What are you trying to DO? BARBECUE US??"
"Do you need any help?" Yoshou asked calmly.
"Not yet..", I pant out, "I don't think!"
But, that damned little firefly wasn't done!
"Mars Flame SNIPER!!"
A flame like an arrow came my way.. and I snapped.. again.
I'm gonna need a prescription for barbituates filled when I get home...
I'm mad, in more ways than one (by now), and I reach out to catch that flame!
"NANI?" Rei croaked out. "NAZE?"
"Oh?" I ask in a tone halfway between polite and maniacal. "Is this your flame?"
Then I grinned a grin that I'm sure would have scared me had I seen it on anyone else.
"Here you go.. RIGHT BACK AT YA!"
I toss the flame like a javeline.. and Hothead Rei suddenly finds her other end heated!
"YEEEEAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! HOT!! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! HOT!!"
"Now.. THIS," Chibiusa grinned, "I remember my obaasans TALKING about!"
"Ami-chan?" I could hear Usagi speaking with a sence of urgency. "Cool her off, will you ?"
"Shine Aqua ILLUSION!!!!"
For having just been cooking, Rei shivered VERY quickly. She, also, turned on her *rescuer*
quickly!
"AMI-NO-BAKA! Why did you do that??"
"Ami-no-Baka?" The girl in blue gasped out. "Your BUTT was roasting!!!!"
"Mmmmm... butt roast!" I licked my lips, suddenly hungry. "Anyone got any bread and mustard?"
"Don't you usually serve butt with gravy, Kelly-Haku?" Chibiusa asked.
"Back at home we do." Serena answered.
"Hai." I smile. "But that butt don't look fat enough to make a good gravy."
It *had* yo happen. Somehow, in the middle of arguing with Ami, Rei heard that last
connent!
"I have a NICE butt!" Rei screamed back at me! "Is that not right, Ami-chan?"
Somehow, at that moment.. a moment I will keep pictured for the rest of my life.. Ami
starts grading Rei's BUTT!
"Hai... a bit anorexic.. but nice!"
That restarted what I playfully came to call the Hino-Mizuno feud!
"OK, then, Mizuno Ami-chan!" Rei puffed herself up.. forgetting what, exactly, she was
trying to show off.. "Who has the best butt here?"
Ami suddenly looked over to Usagi with those slightly-Hentai eyes of hers.. and turned as
red as a *beet*!!!!
"Ahhh... do I have to answer that?"
Usagi then started to nervously handle a club, which I soon learned was called the Moon-
Scepter, and looked *sternly* at Mizuno Ami-chan! All the other Senshi present, meanwhile, except
for Ami, hung their heads.. and sweatdropped!
Usagi then threw her head back.. and laughed!
DAMN! I would have expected that reaction in Texas! Not in JAPAN!!
"So! Graham-Sama?" Usagi asked, loud enough so the gathered Senshi- including Makoto and Minako
by now- could here, "what brings you and you Imouto to Japan?"
"Washuu-chan brought us here to meet our relatives!" I answer crisply, politely bowing to Usagi.
"And, who are they?" Usagi asked.
"They are the scientist, Washuu, herself, Ryoko, Nagi, the Princesses Ayeka and Sasami of
Juurai, Officers Kiyone and Mihoshi, Ans the Masakis! And then, there is you, Usagi-chan, and.."
"and?" Usagi asked.
"Besides Chibiusa?" I smile and continue. "There is Sailormercury, Sailorvenus, Sailormars,
Sailor Jupiter, Sailorsaturn, Sailoruranus, Sailorneptune, and Sailorpluto! And a CERTAIN Prince-
of-Earth that I don't see around here.. yet."
"You? Are my relative?" Mars eeped out.
"I am afraid so." I bow slightly, wearing a silly grin as I do so.
"Sooo.." Ami spoke quietly, trying to hide from Usagi and Rei, "you are here to..?"
"See how many nuts I can harvest from the family-tree!" I answer Ami.
Chibiusa turned around slowly, as if studying each of the Senshi:
"Are you sure you have a big enough basket, Kelly-Haku?"
"WAITAMINUTE!!!!" Rei screamed "How and they be my relatives? The can NOT br my
relatives! IIEDE! They are Not Japanese! They are not even MARTAIN!!"
Since when was Japan on Mars?
A Tenchi Muyo- Sailormoon crossover. By Kellybug and Sailor Moonbrat (Partners-in-Crime).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: None of the anime used or mentioned in this story are mine:
Tenchi Muyo is the property of its creator Kajishima Masaki, and its
distributor, Pioneer.
Sailormoon is the property of its creator, Naoko Takeuchi, and its various
distributors.
Card Captor Sakura is the property of its creators at CLAMP.
Pokemon is the property of Nintendo.. at least, the game is. Who lays claim to
the videos, I'm not sure! But, it's not me.
The Dragonball-series, also, does not belong to me.
Also, Outlaw Star (SOB!!) does not belong to me! Though, having Sazuka and Aisha
as sisters might prove "interesting" !
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTE: I never planned for this story to see thew light of the web.. but, my co-writer,
MoonTwit, decided to use this idea as a part of a story-idea of her's that I'm helping her write. So... up on ff.net it goes!
Any references to actual-people or groups living or (mostly) dead are intentional. I
am mixing this story up with my family-history :)
Flames are MORE than welcome (This house could use the heat!).
Also!! I decided to borrow from the episode of "StarTrek: The Next Generation" that
guest-starred James Doohan of the orinal StarTrek. If you've ever seen that
episode, try to figure out who's playing a version of Doohan's role!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 7
"JUPITER.."
Usagi got worried. "Mako-chan?"
"THUNDER.."
"I would not.."
"DRAGON!!!"
**Ka-Ka-Krash!! BOOM!!!!**
Usagi sighed. "Never mind."
I don't know what Ser's excuse was.. maybe she likes pain.. but I was just too slow!
Anyway, that *damned* Dragon got us both !!!!
"WHAT are you trying to do... lady?" My Imouto growled out after the smoke cleared.
"Char-BROIL us????"
"How about putting your dragon on a LEASH, kid?!?!?!" I snapped out.
Were we irritated? Just a little.
"'Mako-chan'? Is that what Uagi called you?" I was losing my temper. I knew it.. and I
didn'r care! "Well.. 'Mako-chan'.. here's your DAMNED dragon right BACK at you"!
**Ka-Ka-Krash!! BOOM!!!!**
Fireworks and lightning.. went.. EVERYWHERE!! I couldn't REMEMBER seeing a better show!
When the smoke cleared, Jupiter was still standing! She was singed.. but still standing!
"Mmmm.." I said, smacking and licking my lips, "Blackened Senshi! I wonder if Emeril has
the recipe?"
"COOL TRICK!" Ser giggled. "Hey, Mako-can?.. do you do parties?"
"How did you do that?" Jupiter cried out. "Never mind.. don't tell me! I don't CARE! You
two are *so* DEAD!"
"Oh, dear." Usagi groaned. "Hotaru-chan? Prepare for triage."
"Jupiter... Oak... EVOLUTION !!!"
Thousands of electric leaves suddenly flew around Serena and I, cutting us a bit, but,
mostly, scaring us silly.
However, through sheer will and pure adrenaline, we were finally- SOMEHOW- able to throw
those stupid leaves back at the gunner!
And I was MADDER than HELL!!!! But, I wasn't sure who I was madder AT!!!! Was I madder at
Mako-chan for throwing the electric oak leaves at us? Or, was I madder at Sere for for BAITING
this she-bear?
'Wait-a-minute.. who threw the first punch? If Mako hadn't thrown that damned Dragon at us,
my Imouto wouldn't have goaded her into attacking! But if Sere hadn't... But, Mako helped throw
the first... Oh, DAMN! My head hurts!'
"Do you need any help, Graham-Sama?" Kiyone asked as I massaged my temples.
"Iie. You just watch over Sailoruranus, Senior.. yoshi? I'll look after Sailoruranus, Junoir!"
"NANI????" The She-Bear roared again. "'Sailoruranus,.. Junior'?"
"Well.. Jupiter.. you ARE reminding me of everything I've heard about Sailoruranus! You are
BOTH mostly action... very little thought is involved!"
I chuckled. Actually, she was another one in the Venus-Class Senshi.
"Why do you.. laugh?" Jupiter stared at me.
I was losing it.. my sanity.
"Bishoujo? If you had a brain, you'd actually be dangerous!"
I could see the last bit of my Sanity fly away on the wings of a hummingbird. Bye-bye!
The She-Bear of Jupiter reared and charged.
And, I officially snapped.
"Don't hurt my shrine?" The black-haired girl pleaded. "Onegai?"
"Tell HER that!!!!"
"Tell HIM that!!!!"
"Sparkling.. wide..! **GURKG!!**"
I never give the lady a chance to finish her attack. The next thing I know.. I'm girroting
the tall brunette, the web between my thumb and forefinger catching neatly just above her windpipe,
right up against an aged cherry tree! I hit with such force, the tree shook! Don't even ASK me
WHY that didn't kill her!!
"You..", I hiss out, tasting my venom, "are *not* nice!" By this time, I can feel tears in my
eyes and my throat starting to spasm. That's never a good sign. I then release my girrot on Jupiter, letting her fall forward..
Then, I hit her kidneys with my knuckles! I know that fighting a girl is wrong. I know
*fighting* is wrong! But, at this point, I'm beyond caring!
"WHAT the HELL are you THINKING ABOUT?" I scream out as tears flow down my face and I throw a
hard, fast fist into Jupiter's stomache going up under the ribcage. "WHAT have me and MY FAMILY
.. EVER.. done to YOU????" By now, I'm hyper-ventillating. "Do you know.. how much.. I.. hate..
fighting????"
As Jupiter is doubling-over, I finish the fight. I double my fists anf bring them and my
forearms down HARD across the Senshi's shoulders and back! This pushes Jupiter's brests forcefully against my knee.
If that doesn't take the fight out of her.. nothing will.
It sure the HELL drained the fight out of me!
Well.. maybe not ALL the fight..
As I get on all fours, trying to steady myself so I can get up, I leave Jupiter a warning:
"You start.. to.. attack again.. you even *twitch*.. so help me.. I'll bury you under this
God-damned tree!! Got it??"
Then, I heard something I NEVER would have expected! Insted od a grumbled "Hai", or death-
threats, I hear CRYING! They were actually soft sobs.. but they were still TEARS!
Oh, great.. I made her cry! Bakayoro Graham!
"Gomem nisai, Jupiter-Sama! I did not mean to..!"
"Naze? Why must this always happen?" Jupiter squeaked out. "Why must the Senshi in me always
get the BETTER of me! This wasn't supposed to happen! Their Usagi-chan's friends.. they would
not harm her! Now Usagi's hurt.. and it's all my fault! Naze?"
'Oh.. DAMN! It's happening again. The Mother Hen in me is starting to cluck.'
I'm the victim of a family-trait, you see.. "Mother-Hen-itis"! Most families, growing up,
usually wind up with stray dogs, or cats.. my family picked up stray-people!
I, obviously, am no exception!
"Shhh.. Shhh.. Yoshi, Jupiter-Sama!" I took a light-hold of my enemy. "It's OK! It'll be
alright.."
"Iiede.. I an cursed.. I will be alone.."
"Shhhhhhhhhhhh.. Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.. It's Ok.. just a misunderstanding.."
I started to lightly caress and pet a violently-shaken Senshi, trying my best to calm her
down. Don't ask me how long we sat there. I, honestly, have NO idea! And neither did anyone else.
They seemed to be mesmerized on me and Jupiter! And all I was doing was PETTING her!
Soon, Jupter's crying had ended and.. well, she wasn't *exactly* breathing normally.. it
was more like the deep, slow breathing you associate with sleep- or with meditation!
I hate this... but I have to wake her up!
"Sailorjupiter? Sailorjupiter?" I whisper softly.
I put my fingers next to her ear.
**Snap**
Slowly, the tall girl wakes up. She opens her eyes.. and suddenly takes my hand and *kisses*
it!
I suddenly lose me ability to speak intelligently. "Ahhh... Whyyyyiiiii.. Ariiii.. gatou..
hmmmm.. errr... Missssssss..?"
"Kino... Kino Makoto."
"Hai, Kino-Sama!" I suddenly snap to attention. I hope no one notices how red I'm getting!
Someone does.. my sister..
"Kelly and Mako-chan sitting in a tree.. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.."
"Gome nisai, Kino-Sama," I sigh, "but I have to kill my Imouto."
As I try to turn away, without showing too much embarassment (thank you, Ser!), a voice
suddenly cries from out of the sky...
"LOOK OUT BELOW!!!!"
!!!! BONK !!!!
*Thud!*
Ouch.
What hit me?
I look up.. into two of the REDDEST eyes I will EVER see!
*Blink*Blink*
I slowly get up on my elbows.
"Where did you come from, Munchkin?" I asked the little bundle of Cotton-Candy.
Serena was laughing to the point of tears! "When did Umpa-Looma-Land let out?"
Cotton-Candy-top suddenly threw her arms around my neck! "Kelly-Haku!!"
"'Kelly-Haku'?" I mouth out. "'Uncle Kelly'?"
I slowly turn to my sister:
"Amanda Serena Graham?" I point to the piece of Cotton Candy hanging tightly around my neck.
"Is there something you haven't told Mom about?"
Serena has the "What-The-Hell-Are-You-Talking-About-Bro?"-look on her face, something
between amused and mad-as-hell, than she looks at the piece of Cotton-Candy again.
"Damn, she's cute! Where's you find HER, Niisan? And ain't she a bit young for you ? *Heehee!* HEY! *Hahaha!* With the way you got the women falling for you *hoohoohoo!*, maybe I should start calling you *gasp!* 'Tenchi Masaki, Jr.'! *heeheeheehaa!*"
"*Very* funny, Imouto!" I grin. I'm gonna LOVE this next part. "This little piece-of-sunshine
here just called me her 'Uncle'!"
Serna's laughter suddenly stopped. "And you think *I* had something to do with it?"
"Well.. her hair IS kinda red.. sorta.. but, where'd she get those red eyes from?"
Cotton-Candy-Top than turned to look at Amanda.
Sis started to run..
"Serena-obaasan!"
Amanda stopped fast!
OK.. If I'm CC's uncle.. and Serena's her Aunt.. who's darling is she?
I look down at the little face blinking up at me.. then I do a quick scan of the area, my
eyes finally falling on Usagi!
I gently pick CC up, then walk over to Usagi.
"Somehow, I get the feeling this little paperweight is yours?"
"Chibiusa?" Usagi asked, taking the small bundle away from around my neck, "What are you
doing here?"
"Kidzukau ne, Hahai!" Chibiusa smiled. "Everything is alright! I've just heard so many stories aboutu Kelly-Haku and Serena-Obaasan that I wanted to come and see if the stories were true! Kelly and Serena tell me a little.. but not much.. and Kelly always says try to get the other side of the story! But.. well.. hardly anyone else SAYS anything!"
"I wonder why...?" Usagi asked in a slow breath.
Amanda and I get a sudden attack of the giggles that bends us BOTH over like jack-knives!
"Kidzukau muyo!" Chibiusa explained to Usagi. "You and Chichi and Puu said it would be alright if I came back!" Then, she looked up at Usagi. "Have I missed the fight between Mokoto and Kelly, yet?"
"Hai."
"Damn!"
Although thst last word was whispered, everybody seemed to hear it, as all eyes turned to our tuft of cotton-candy, henceforth known as Chibiusa!
"Chibiusa?" Usagi asked slowly, "Where..? When..? How did you learn that word?"
"Well.. Hahai.."
So.. Chibiusa is Usagi's little Dumpling? But where'd she come from?
"Chibi..usa? Hime?" Makoto seemed to stammer just a little bit. "Who.. told you about the
fight.. between.. Kelly-Sama.. and myself?"
Hmmm.. "Lord Kelly", is it, now? Since when did I earn a title?
"Minako-obaasan!" Chibiusa smiled.
Uh oh! As my imouto says.. "Busted!"
"DAMN IT, Minako-BAKA!" Makoto unwound with cat-like grace. "PREPARE TO DIE!!!!"
"Chibiusa?" Usagi sighed. "Toku muyo!"
"Hai." Chibiusa sighed and patted her mother softly on the shoulder.
Ryoko burst out laughing, followed by Kiyone, Mihoshi, and Serena! I just giggled and shook
my head.
"Kami-Sama!" Ayeka gasped. "Do I REALLY sound THAT pathetic?"
"USAGI-HIME!" The black-haired girl in the red fuku suddenly screeched. "Those two GAIJIN
are making us look like BAKAYORO!!"
"That is not hard to do." Ryoko and Ayeka muttered.
"NANI???" The dark-haired fireball sputtered. "You DARE to mock a Senshi?"
"Hahai?" Ryoko asked Washuu, "Were the Senshi YOU met this full of themselves?"
"Hai", Washuu looked sympathetically towards Usagi.
"Like Christmas-stuffed geese", Serena and I muttered.
"WHAT Was THAT?" The hothead in the fuku said. "You will PAY for insulting the Senshi!"
"How much?", I ask as I pull out my wallet. "I'm sure the price is worth it."
"THAT'S IT!" The Senshi screamed. "In the place of Mars.."
"Rei-chan..?" Usagi asked worriedly.
"I SHALL PUNISH YOU!!"
"Niisan?" Serena asked. "Don't you think that Usagi sounds better saying it?"
The Senshi, now know as "Rei" if I heard Usagi right, charged after us, then cried out:
"KIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!"
Next thing I know, a side-swept leg is coming to the heads of me and my sister!
The next-thing this mad-woman knows, I catch that leg before is connects!
Then.. at great risk of being called a Hentai.. I take the heel of my hand, and shove it HARD, *right* up a place that really give this bitch something to cry about!
Rei suddenly backed up... and fell to her knees! Then, she squeaked.
"Eeeeeiiiii.. Hime.. it hurts!"
Even Haruka and Michiru winced at that one!
"Ewwwwwwwwwwww!!" Chibiusa made a face. Then she turned to Usagi. "Nobody TOLD me about THAT
part!"
"I can guess why." Usagi said.
"Rei-obaasan deserved it, however."
"Hai."
"Rin - Ryou - Rou - Sha - Tai - Kai - Shi - Retsu - Sai - Zen," the dark haired girl
chanted slowly, then slapped us silly with a piece of paper! A charm, maybe?
"AKURO TAISEN!!"
The pieces of paper themselves did not hurt us.. despite the widely-held belief
that Amanda's possessed.. but the crazy-woman slapped us HARD against the forehead!
"What are you trying to do?" Amanda said in that calm voice the most people have come
to fear. Then my sister turns to Usagi. "Usagi-san? Has she had her shots yet?"
"Burning MANDALA!!!!"
Suddenly, Amanda Serena and I are being buzzed by rings of fire!! We crouched and ran at
the same time, trying to get out of the range of this maniac! And my sister is starting to show
signs of panic. That fire is coming WAY too close!
"HEY! PYRO!" I shouted. "What are you trying to DO? BARBECUE US??"
"Do you need any help?" Yoshou asked calmly.
"Not yet..", I pant out, "I don't think!"
But, that damned little firefly wasn't done!
"Mars Flame SNIPER!!"
A flame like an arrow came my way.. and I snapped.. again.
I'm gonna need a prescription for barbituates filled when I get home...
I'm mad, in more ways than one (by now), and I reach out to catch that flame!
"NANI?" Rei croaked out. "NAZE?"
"Oh?" I ask in a tone halfway between polite and maniacal. "Is this your flame?"
Then I grinned a grin that I'm sure would have scared me had I seen it on anyone else.
"Here you go.. RIGHT BACK AT YA!"
I toss the flame like a javeline.. and Hothead Rei suddenly finds her other end heated!
"YEEEEAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! HOT!! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! HOT!!"
"Now.. THIS," Chibiusa grinned, "I remember my obaasans TALKING about!"
"Ami-chan?" I could hear Usagi speaking with a sence of urgency. "Cool her off, will you ?"
"Shine Aqua ILLUSION!!!!"
For having just been cooking, Rei shivered VERY quickly. She, also, turned on her *rescuer*
quickly!
"AMI-NO-BAKA! Why did you do that??"
"Ami-no-Baka?" The girl in blue gasped out. "Your BUTT was roasting!!!!"
"Mmmmm... butt roast!" I licked my lips, suddenly hungry. "Anyone got any bread and mustard?"
"Don't you usually serve butt with gravy, Kelly-Haku?" Chibiusa asked.
"Back at home we do." Serena answered.
"Hai." I smile. "But that butt don't look fat enough to make a good gravy."
It *had* yo happen. Somehow, in the middle of arguing with Ami, Rei heard that last
connent!
"I have a NICE butt!" Rei screamed back at me! "Is that not right, Ami-chan?"
Somehow, at that moment.. a moment I will keep pictured for the rest of my life.. Ami
starts grading Rei's BUTT!
"Hai... a bit anorexic.. but nice!"
That restarted what I playfully came to call the Hino-Mizuno feud!
"OK, then, Mizuno Ami-chan!" Rei puffed herself up.. forgetting what, exactly, she was
trying to show off.. "Who has the best butt here?"
Ami suddenly looked over to Usagi with those slightly-Hentai eyes of hers.. and turned as
red as a *beet*!!!!
"Ahhh... do I have to answer that?"
Usagi then started to nervously handle a club, which I soon learned was called the Moon-
Scepter, and looked *sternly* at Mizuno Ami-chan! All the other Senshi present, meanwhile, except
for Ami, hung their heads.. and sweatdropped!
Usagi then threw her head back.. and laughed!
DAMN! I would have expected that reaction in Texas! Not in JAPAN!!
"So! Graham-Sama?" Usagi asked, loud enough so the gathered Senshi- including Makoto and Minako
by now- could here, "what brings you and you Imouto to Japan?"
"Washuu-chan brought us here to meet our relatives!" I answer crisply, politely bowing to Usagi.
"And, who are they?" Usagi asked.
"They are the scientist, Washuu, herself, Ryoko, Nagi, the Princesses Ayeka and Sasami of
Juurai, Officers Kiyone and Mihoshi, Ans the Masakis! And then, there is you, Usagi-chan, and.."
"and?" Usagi asked.
"Besides Chibiusa?" I smile and continue. "There is Sailormercury, Sailorvenus, Sailormars,
Sailor Jupiter, Sailorsaturn, Sailoruranus, Sailorneptune, and Sailorpluto! And a CERTAIN Prince-
of-Earth that I don't see around here.. yet."
"You? Are my relative?" Mars eeped out.
"I am afraid so." I bow slightly, wearing a silly grin as I do so.
"Sooo.." Ami spoke quietly, trying to hide from Usagi and Rei, "you are here to..?"
"See how many nuts I can harvest from the family-tree!" I answer Ami.
Chibiusa turned around slowly, as if studying each of the Senshi:
"Are you sure you have a big enough basket, Kelly-Haku?"
"WAITAMINUTE!!!!" Rei screamed "How and they be my relatives? The can NOT br my
relatives! IIEDE! They are Not Japanese! They are not even MARTAIN!!"
Since when was Japan on Mars?