The Guardian, Part 15
Mourning
By Taerir

All Sailor Moon references are the property of their respective owners. Any concepts, characters, world names, plotlines, and so on not found in the Sailormoon television series or manga are the sole property of the author, Taerir, copyright 1999. No duplication is permitted without written permission from the author.

Kensaku looked at the people around him, turning his face to the ground when he could not look them in the eye any longer. Tears still filled his eyes. He still couldn't believe that she was gone. He was shaking now, and he stared up at the sky again.

"Why now?" he said to no one in particular. "What am I going to do without her? You were all her friends... why did she have to be taken away?" The tears continued to roll down his face, and he faced the others.

"I'm sorry," he continued, through the tears which still flowed. "I should have stayed with her. She might be alive then."

The senshi didn't answer, tears streaming down their own faces. They watched Kensaku compassionately. Unable to meet their eyes, Kensaku left them standing there, heading to his own apartment behind eyes blinded by tears. He took a long look at Asami's door before entering his apartment and collapsing onto his couch.

"Gods, Wyna..." he cried, the tears streaming down his face. Even in this life, and before memories had been regained, Asami had been his best friend. Alone was not a prospect he wanted to face right now.

Still at the scene of the battle, Sailor Moon began to cry as Kensaku left the group. Dropping her transformation, she sat down on a curb and sobbed.

"She shouldn't be dead," Usagi whispered, still crying. She looked up at the others, her voice louder. "Senshi aren't supposed to die like this! They're not supposed to die for good before they've even lived!"

Sailor Mercury detransformed as well. This was one situation in her life when she didn't know what to do. For a moment, she stared uncomprehendingly at the other senshi before clearing her eyes.

Slowly, she walked past the others. No matter how hard she tried to obliterate the scene from her mind, she kept seeing the pain-stricken look on Kensaku's face as Sailor Taerir had disappeared. He'd just found her, and now she's gone...

Overwhelmed by something her logic couldn't make sense of, Ami ran from the others with a choked cry. Reaching the park and curling up under a tree, she tried to reconcile what had happened with her own feelings of disbelief and denial.

Moments later, the others caught up with her.

"Ami-chan..." Usagi spoke first. "Ami-chan, are you okay?"

Ami stared up at the others. "No, I'm not. We watched her die. It shouldn't have happened. I should have done something to stop it! I just don't know what!" Helplessly, she tried to brush the tears away.

The other four girls joined her under the trees. Tears ran down their faces.

"There was nothing any of us could do," Rei told the other girl. "It's hard, but there wasn't." She began to cry harder. "But she helped us defeat Kado in the best way she knew how, and she'd want us to go on now. She's saved us."

Usagi looked around bleakly. "If I wasn't so stupid... maybe she could have been brought back."

Makoto shook her head. "There wasn't enough time." The taller girl's eyes sparkled with moisture. Her pride told her that she should have done something, but she had to accept that there was nothing to be done.

Ami looked up, trying to regain her composure. "We all need time to think. It hasn't sunk in yet, that's all. We should all go home and rest. School's over by now, anyway."

Knowing they were helpless to do anything else, the girls all agreed.

At his apartment, Kensaku still sat with his head in his hands. Never in his life had he felt as devastated as he did at this moment. You should have protected her; it's your job! She had barely gotten a chance to live yet, and we were all helpless when it came to the last. It wasn't her time. All she ever did was give... Gods, I don't know what I'm going to do without her.

Finding no consolation, he turned the TV on quietly and watched it until morning, losing himself in the dubious excuses for plotlines. In the morning, he was less tired than emotionally battered. Today he would face his first real day without Asami.

Gasping, he rushed to the bathroom. He splashed water on his face and then looked in the mirror. His eyes were shadowed, and he looked miserable, as if his life had lost its meaning. Leaning against the bathroom wall, he slid to the floor and let his tears of mourning come once again.