Chapter 2 of the past can hurt
I am enjoying this J but Thunderbirds still aren't mine and Alan hasn't called me for a date so here is the next bit and it gets a bit emotional at the end thanks Star *
If you never forget they are still there
"My god I am so tired" John said stretching in the passenger seat of the huge green Tb 2
"Ha I think you need to back into space mate if you can't handle it" Virgil chimed in
"Me! I can handle anything just remember I am younger than you big bro"" Not by much, anyway doesn't matter if I am haven't you hear you should always respect your elders" Virgil stated in a posh English accent trying but failing to sound like the beautiful British blonde, Penny.
Instantly Virgil and John were in fits of laughter until Virgil noticed Alan was in the unknown depths of nothingness.
" Al, Al, Alan ALAN!!!!!!!" Virgil screaming just managing to knock Alan from anywhere but reality
" Sorry Virgil you say something" Alan said just above a whisper
" You ok kid" If Virgil had seen the look he would be getting from that comments he wouldn't have made it.
" Don't 'kid' me Virgil and yes I am fine" each word showing Virgil more and more that there really was a problem
" Ok "
It was left at that in the silence of Thunderbird 2
"I know there is something wrong with him, but maybe it was just the mission that was one hell of a fire I thought we had lost Alan in firefly at one point I am sure he didn't have to go that close but then he never listens it's a good job that wall was in the way when the chemicals exploded or he would have been burnt to a crisp. He is going to get a bit of a lecture from dad and Scott about going so close just to give us another few minutes, god I hate how he is in firefly alone. John at least I got to keep an eye on, poor Scott he has to look after us all and keep dad informed. We all look out for each other but I know I would do anything to know they are going to be safe. Umm I wonder…."
" VIRGIL "
" Oh god I nearly missed the Island"
" Landing now"*************
"So I think over all the mission went quite well apart from we are totally shattered"
"Thanks Scott" Jeff gently smiled as he looked up from writing the de-briefing comments, " right you can go"
All 5 boys went their separate ways mostly to their rooms but John pulled Gordon to his side and asked for one of their long chats about everything.
" God that was a close rescue, I was panicking when the chemicals exploded and there was no sign of Alan " John said as he curled up on Gordon's bed,
" Just relax john its over ok ""Thanks Gordo" " Gordo have… erm…have you thought about mum lately"
" Yep who hasn't I saw dad looking at a picture of here and us lot, well know Alan of course, he misses her so much, but who doesn't. John you know when we were 9 and Virgil went away and I was scared he wasn't coming back and you told Al and me that we needed to stop worrying about mum and that she is always watching us and you showed us the star, your favourite star because when mum died she asked you to pick a star for her so you would know she would always be there watching over us"
"Yep I remember how could I forget Gordo, I look at it every night "
" So do I John " Gordon embraced the hug of John just as he had when he was younger
" She said to me that I am her favourite water babies and that if you remember mummy she will never leave you as long as you keep her locked up in your heart she is and will be a part of you forever" a tear fell down Gordon face.
"Oh Gordo I miss her, you be ok now""Yep course night John, and thanks"
" Night Gordo and anytime"
**********************
"Scott, can I come in its Virgil"
"Sure mate its open " Scott said in a disheartened voice
" You ok Scott "" Sure" As Scott caught Virgil's look he decided that there was no point lying to him
" OK …. Just thinking that's all do you remember what mum said to you when we went to see her when see was…... you know , she said to me " Scott my first baby boys I can see the beautiful, caring, responsible man you are going to grow into just like your dad and will you try to look after your little brothers for me, and Scott you never need to be afraid or lost as I am there deep down, I love you Scott"
" Scott, its ok you do more than enough to make sure we are ok and you shouldn't need to, you are the best big brother ever, mum was right" Virgil hugged him brother as his voice cracked with emotion and gratitude.
" She said to me, Virgil my little painter and musician you express your feeling so beautifully though your work and I love what you do, paint me a picture a happy one with us all together and then we will never leave each other and nothing can stop us being together, I love you"
" She loves us and that's all that matters, thanks Virgil, night""Night Scott, and by the way Scott why didn't you tell dad Alan stupid action today you know about getting so close in firefly?"
" I don't know I just thought that it wasn't as stupid as you think, something's wrong I think I am going to talk to him tomorrow, night".
Even as Scott said those words his expressions was concern and agonizing for Alan's behaviour.
***************
"I can't take this it feels like I am slowly being suffocated by emotions, pain and like if I don't let them out I will explode, hearing John and Gordon from outside Gordon's door was bad enough but when Scott and Virgil started" A cold shiver ran down Alan spine not for the first time as he remembered past times.
" I cant do this I cant, run away…no tried that when I heard dad talking about mum and the though of the pain that dad had made me run away I left about midnight with some clothes praying that the pain would go away if only from my family if I went away if I never came back. Only when I answered a mobile call from dad 2 days later did I see that I might be better to go home and he might have forgiven me and I be finally rid of the regret, but it stayed. So I had to find another escape measure and I have …"