~*~*~*~*

Dedicated, with much love, to all my friends.

~*~*~*~*

Reno was laughing, his voice echoing off the walls of my small house. Rough fingers tapped my chin as I watched him. His strong arms wrapped around his thin waist, doubled over with laughter.

"Did you see the look on his face? It was classic."

"Reno?"

I prayed he didn't hear me. He didn't

"I can't believe how red his face was," Reno paused to take a breath of air. "I thought he was going to swallow his tongue."

I smiled lightly, glad he was enjoying this. Glad somebody was enjoying it. I did not regret the words I spoke to my father only a few minutes ago. But I found no joy in them. My mind was too busy focusing on the way the setting sun turned Reno's hair to flames.

My fingers ached to weave trails through locks of flames. To feel his callused hands on my tainted skin. Simply to taste him again. A sharp shake of my head sent the thoughts scattering.

His laughter was beginning to grow on my nerves.

"Reno," I said, putting force into my voice.

That razor-sharp laughter cut through my words. It was now or never and never was too far off. My hand snaked out, catching the front of his jacket. Silence abruptly filled the room as I used his jacket as leverage. Pulling myself to my feet, pulling myself to him.

"Yuffie?"

My lips upon his drove any questioning from his mind. My fingers tugged at the band in his hair, releasing a waterfall of surprisingly soft locks. Hoping to receive a reaction, any reaction. Come on Reno, I pleaded silently. Touch me.

But he didn't move, hands frozen at his side. I shoved him away, hands clenched with an anger that stemmed from the pain in my heart.

"Damn you!" I shrieked, wanting nothing more than to leap out a window. "Why can't you tou-"

He grabbed me, lips forceful yet soft. Hands exploring under folds of cotton. I welcomed him, pulling him down to the bed. Enjoying the comforting weight of his body against mine.

He pulled away slightly. "Is this what you want?"

"Y-yes," I moaned, fingers tugging frantically at his jacket.

I wanted this, I told myself; enjoying the feel of coldness on my bare skin. I wanted every moment of it.

~*~*~

He was sleeping. In sleep, he was beautiful, calm and beautiful. Those rough lips, the gentlest of caresses on my skin, lacked their usual smirk. The tip of his tongue, that brushed fire across my body, jutted obscenely between his parted lips.

Propping myself up on a few pillows, I watched him sleep. I had wanted this, no regrets would come of this day. But still, something did not seem right. Glancing at my arms, I saw it. The interlaced marks of my shame. This had been my control.

But now… Reno.

Maybe it was time now that I reached out for another form of control. Slowly, I reached out to him. Cradling his sleeping form against me. He moaned, arms snaking their way around my waist. Head resting on my breasts, hair tickling the delicate skin.

For once I had seized control. Grabbed life and brought it down to my level. To make it stop and wait for me. And it felt wonderful.

"But is this real?" I whispered. "Or have I simply built myself a castle in the sky."

If Reno heard, he remained silent. Whatever it is, I will find out.

~*~*~

When Reno wakes up tomorrow, he will be alone. I didn't want to leave him like that. But I didn't want to go to Junon with him either. So I left. One bag, all of my most precious items, fit into one bag. Yet I had left one thing behind.

A silver locket, engraved with the Kisaragi Clan symbol. The only possession I had received from my mother, I left with Reno. Boarding the small boat, I gave Wutai a final glance. I never wanted to go back. This was my new beginning. I was leaving my old home behind, ready to begin anew.

The motors of the boat hummed to life, water churning under my feet. I was the only one watching Wutai slip from sight. For a second, I could have sworn I saw Reno. His wild hair ablaze in the sunlight. He was waving to me, wearing my locket.

Go find yourself, he said. I'll wait.

Blinking, the vision vanished as swiftly as it came. He was not there, most likely still curled up, oblivious to the world. Pulling the jacket tighter around my shoulders, I sighed. In my rush to leave, I had grabbed Reno's jacket.

Raising the collar to my face, I inhaled deeply. His scent, the material was imbedded with it. It was the sweetest scent, because it was his. It was him.

Tossing my head back, I let the wind have it's way with my hair.

"I'm going to find myself," I whispered to the wind. Hoping it would bear my words to sleeping ears. "Wait for me."

~*~*~

Beads of rain clung to my hair, plastering it to my face. Pulling the collar of my jacket closed, I continued on. Lightening laced the darkened clouds with silver. I don't know what brought me to Junon. Then again, I did more traveling now on a whim then in the past. I had left Wutai two years ago. Walked away from everything.

And I found myself.

If I told myself it was easy, I would be lying. Telling my problems to Reno had been easy. Explaining them to somebody who wanted to help, that had been another issue.

I hadn't seen Reno in those two years. At times, my mind played tricks on me. Casting his reflection in windows, tickling my nose with his scent. The sound of his laughter sparking a twinge in my heart.

My feet pounded the pavement. Right foot sinking into a puddle, rain water cascading everywhere. The neon lights reflected in the water caught my attention. Teeth chattering, I ducked into the bar. Locks of hair clung to my cheek as I shook my head. Peeling the waterlogged jacket from my arms, I hung it up.

My arms were open to the world. Everybody could see my scars. But it didn't matter, they were simply scars. And scars symbolize the past

Weaving my way through the crowded tables, I made my way to the bar.

"What can I get you sweetie?" the bartender asked, as I lowered myself into a chair.

"Beer," I answered, smoothing back my hair.

With a smile, the bartender retrieved my beer from below the counter. Tossing the correct gil on the counter, I took the bottle with a nod. He had smelt of alcohol the first time I saw him. I was repulsed by the scent at the time. But now, I welcomed it.

Raising the bottle to my lips, I could sense the heat of a body behind me. Smiling, I ignored it. Most likely a busied waitress, taking a momentary pause.

Lowing the bottle, my body stiffened. On the bar, catching the dancing light, was something silver. Beer on the bar, I reached out with shaky fingers. The familiar engraving of the Kisaragi Clan symbol pressed against my thumb.

"Thought you might like that," a rough voice behind me explained.

He had kept it!

I was in his arms, throwing him off balance. Reno's strong arms came up, pulling me to him. Tears blurred my vision. But I could make out his face, the familiar scars adorning his features.

"You were right." Rising on tiptoes I whispered in his ear. "I didn't want to die. I just didn't know it at the time."

"And what made you realize it," he asked, his fingers running gently through my hair.

"You."