Going Too Far
By: Me-rite-much
Disclaimer: I do NOT own digimon. Yep, sorry to tell ya that, but its true. If I did own digimon things would be quite a bit different :D
WARNING!: This fic contains Yamachi (BoyXboy relationship between Tai and Matt!) So don't read if you are not into dis stuph!!!!! THIS FIC ALSO CONTAINS ANGST, AND SOME OTHER THINGS!
A/n: I just finished writing this fic, so if you see anything wrong with it just e-mail me and tell me so I can correct it. I will update the fic later. Ok, I usually don't write fics this 'descriptive', but I had to in order to really help the plot through. Don't worry, its not THAT graphic, but it does contain a lot of detail.
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The heavily wooded area where Tai and Matt were at helped mute some of the sounds coming from the ground where the two boys were at. "Please Matt, no." Tai whimpered weakly as the blonde was roughly kissing the brunettes neck. "You know you don't want me to stop." Matt responded as he held Tai down on the floor and began to land hard kisses on Tai's lips. "Ugh, please, no, can we please just go back to the camp." Tai felt very uneasy as Matt began to bring his hands up his shirt.
Tai tried his best to get Matt to stop, but even though Tai didn't want Matt to use him in that way, for some reason, Tai wanted this to happen as well. Matt was the only one who could give him this kind of pleasure. Tai knew he was gay ever since he first heard about it when he was around 10. He didn't know why, but he just didn't like girls, and he simply knew he could never give any girl what she expected from him. He knew the people who would be deeply hurt if they found out his secret as well. Sora would be one of them. Tai knew she wanted something more than friendship from him, but Tai would never be able to like her in that way.
Matt continued to grope and kiss Tai on the hard ground. Even through all of the brunettes refusing, Matt continued to go further, beginning to take off Tai's shirt. All Tai could do was whimper and moan helplessly as he let Matt continue. Tai didn't really like what Matt was doing to him. Yet it was the only way Matt ever acted around Tai when the group wasn't there. He hated simply being used by the blonde, but he had no other choice. When Matt used him like that, Tai couldn't do anything because it was the only way he could be close to Matt. It was also Matt who found out Tai's secret just a few weeks ago.
*flashback*
The digidestined leader had told everyone he was going to scout ahead to check the area, but he really needed some time to himself. He just needed to be away from everyone, if only for a few minutes, so he wouldn't go crazy. He walked away from camp for a few minutes until he came to a clearing with a cliff. Looking at the sky, he took a deep breath and held his arms out as the wind refreshed him. He was so happy to be out of that forest, it's true that he was only in a clearing by a cliff, but it was still better than being surrounded by legions of trees.
Tai finally took a second to stare at the beauty of the pink sky. The setting sun made everything look like a great painting. 'O well,' Tai thought to himself as he took in the beauty of the scenery. 'I guess I might as well enjoy being in this digiworld, even if I am stuck here.' Tai finally looked around for a comfortable place to sit and relax for a while. His thoughts drifted to other things besides the scenery after a few minutes. Tai's thoughts finally drifted to the blonde boy of the group. Tai just couldn't help it, he just felt different towards Matt then he felt towards anyone else in the group.
Tai knew he had feelings for Matt, he just didn't want to know what would happen if anyone found out. He remembered some of the things that had led to him developing these strong feelings for the other boy. Tai actually remembered the first time he realized his feelings for Matt. That morning Tai had woken up a bit early and saw Matt getting some food ready for breakfast for the whole group. Everyone else was still asleep. Matt cared so much for everyone in the group, but Tai had to lead them, that meant a lot of blame for whenever he screwed up. But all Matt had to do was stand by and point out all of Tai's mistakes whenever he made them. That was part of the reason Tai thought Matt truly hated him. Matt quickly noticed Tai staring at him.
"Hey Tai," Matt greeted cheerfully as he got Tai's attention. "I guess you're up early today huh?" Matt continued as he began to get the fire heated to make the food. "Well then, since you are awake, I guess you can help me get some more food." Tai nodded sleepily then replied. "Sure Matt, no problem. I need something to do anyway so I don't fall back asleep." Tai then went out and began to think about how much Matt cared for everyone, especially his brother T.K. Tai began to think about how close Matt and his little brother were. Matt would do anything for his little brother. Tai then remembered about how Matt always helped soothe his little brother asleep every night. How much Matt hugged T.K whenever his little brother needed to be comforted.
'If only he would do those things to comfort me when I needed it.' Tai unknowingly thought to himself when he realized what he was thinking. "Oh my god" Tai said quietly as he dropped all the berries he collected. "Im in love with Matt. . ." Tai now finally knew why he had felt so strange around Matt sometimes. At first, it felt a bit strange, but Tai simply couldn't deny what he felt for Matt. After a little while of letting the truth sink in, thoughts of bliss soon filled Tai's mind as he daydreamed more about the blonde of his dreams.
Tai finally relaxed himself on the log as he sat down. Soon he was once again thinking about Matt, except this time, the thoughts were a bit more 'extreme' than the ones that had been going through his mind only a little while ago. Tai threw his head back and moaned softly as he sat with his back on the fallen log and began to please himself. He tried to stay a bit alert just incase someone might come by, but he just couldn't stay alert as the pleasure built up inside him. Without knowing, Tai began to moan out Matt's name every time he stroked himself. He kept on that way until he finally reached climax.
He quickly relaxed himself against the log as he tried to get back his breath. 'If only It wasn't just fantasies.' Tai thought to himself as he finished catching his breath. He then panicked as he heard a few twigs snapping, and then he heard footsteps approaching him. 'Oh no, no no no no no!' Tai quickly worried as he turned around to face whoever was coming. "I saw everything Tai" Matt slowly approached Tai and knelt down next to him. Tai was shaking like mad as he saw Matt approach. "Matt," Tai quickly tried to blurt out because of what he thought was going through after seeing him.
"Matt, I'm sorry, please, don't tell the others. . ." Matt just put a finger on Tai's mouth and gave him a rough kiss, quickly exploring the brunette boys tongue with great force. Tai couldn't help but just melt in Matt's arms as he kept being kissed. Tai didn't notice how hard Matt was kissing him, until they finally pulled away to catch some air.
*end flashback*
Now Tai wasn't really that sure if Matt actually cared for him, or just wanted him as his own personal whore. Matt had never given Tai the gentle kiss he fantasized about so many times, instead his kisses had been strong and rough. Luckily, Matt and him hadn't gone any farther then just making out, a few times Matt did take off Tai's clothes till the boy was just in his boxer shorts, but that was the farthest they went. After that, all Matt did was stand up, get Tai his clothes, then walk back to camp. The caring Matt that would do anything for his friends and that cared for his little brother simply was not there whenever he and Tai were alone. It was as if Matt was possessed by some abusive pervert whenever he and Tai weren't around anyone else.
'Why can't you hold me with the same love you hug your little brother with?' Tai morosely thought to himself as Matt was groping and maltreating him. He quickly came to back to reality as Matt shook him. "Tai!" Matt yelled at the brunette as he realized that Tai was spacing out. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You look like you've just been shot." Matt asked Tai with a big hint of anger in his voice. "Nothing, nothing, I'm sorry Matt, I guess I just spaced out." Tai apologized as Matt got off of him. Tai then sat up slowly. "Matt, can we please just go back to camp, please, I really haven't been feeling well lately." Tai begged. Matt looked at the floor angrily as he simply shrugged, "Ok, whatever, lets go then."
Tai tried to talk to Matt as they slowly walked back to camp. Matt still had an angry look on his face as they were walking. Tai knew why Matt was angry. Matt was angry because he didn't get to reach his release inside
him this time. 'Why do I let him do this to me?' Tai thought to himself as he kept walking. Tai knew why he let Matt do that as well. He was scared, scared about what would happen if Matt really got angry and told everyone in the group about him. Tai knew Matt would reveal him for the 'faggot' he really was.
Tai didn't want Sora to be crushed if she ever found out about his sexuality. He wished deeply that he could feel some attraction to Sora besides friendship, but Tai knew that would never happen. He hated about thinking how crushed she would be if she ever found out. Tai sometimes thought that if he let her find someone else, then tell everyone about him, Sora wouldn't be as destroyed over it as she would be if she still liked him.
Everyone began eating about two hours after Tai and Matt returned to camp. The cold night air forced the digidestined kids to sit huddled around the campfire and eat dinner that night. Everyone was quite as they ate, not even Joe complained this time about anything. Even though no one was speaking, that didn't mean the kids thoughts were quiet. Sora was eating some of the fish which was just about all they could eat since the path they had been taking lately went along a small river. 'Hey,' Sora thought to herself as she ate the fish in small bites, 'It's better than starving.'
Sora now looked over at Tai, who was sitting next to Izzy and Matt. She saw something in Tai's eyes that she didn't notice before. It was like if Tai was very sad about something, 'I wonder what's wrong with him,' Sora began thinking again. 'Kari is ok, so it can't be that.' The girl was thinking. Kari sat between Izzy and Mimi, her digimon partner, gatomon, was playing by the river with the rest of the kids' digimon. 'I guess he is just tired' Sora mentally concluded as she finished her dinner and went off to check on the digimon.
Later that night, Tai was laying on the ground, trying desperately to get some sleep. He tried to clear his mind of all the disturbing thoughts, but to no success. Tired of trying, Tai opened his eyes, sat up, and looked around. Everyone, including Mimi, who was supposed to be keeping watch, was asleep. 'I guess Mimi wouldn't mind if I took over her watch early tonight.' Tai thought as he got up and woke Mimi. The girl stirred a bit, then slowly woke. "Huh? Is it time to wake up alre. . ." Then Mimi remembered that she was supposed to be awake for the night watch. "I'm really sorry Tai" She quickly stood up, "I was just real sleepy and . . ." "That's ok," Tai interrupted. "Get some sleep, don't worry Mimi, I'll take over the watch now, good night."
Tai looked at Mimi for a while as she went over to her digimon and lay next to it to go to sleep. Now Tai sat down by a small tree trunk and took a while to observe the night sky. 'Its just as beautiful as the sunrise' Tai thought to himself as he traced a finger along the ground. Tai kept staring at the sky and began to wonder what it was like to be a star in the sky. 'Just twinkling, with no worries, it must be amazing. Floating there carelessly, being admired by the people who look up at the sky.'
Tai now lay against the trunk and began to think about Matt. 'Why does he treat me so harshly? Why can't he ever take me in a loving embrace and tell me everything will be better?' Tai asked himself thoughtfully. He was beginning to question if he wanted to be with Matt anymore. 'These last few weeks have just been full of misery, I haven't felt loved by Matt ever since the first kiss he gave me. . ." Tai still remembered how distracted he was by the fact Matt returned at least some of his feelings with that first kiss. In fact, the only time Matt had ever actually held Tai was after that kiss. The only time Tai had ever felt secure in Matt's arms.
Ever since then Matt just kept using him. Tai didn't feel safe around Matt anymore. Tai began to feel weak and scared whenever he was around the other digidestined. He knew some of them noticed, they obviously noticed how his usual smiles had disappeared and his cheer had all but faded away. Kari had obviously noticed since she talked to him alone one day about it. "Tai" the boy remembered Kari beginning to tell him as she put a hand on his shoulder.
Sometimes Tai was amazed by how deep his sister was. She was only about 7, but she was already aware about the world around her. "Is something bothering you? You have just been looking so sad and tired." "It's nothing," Tai tried to convince her, "It's just kind of stressful being leader is all. I'm just so stressed out trying to make sure we go the right way." He wasn't lying when he said that either. He really was stressed by trying to make all the right decisions so that none of the kids would have to suffer by the wrong choices.
"Maybe you should take a break Tai" Kari suggested as she looked at the bags under his eyes. "Let someone else take charge for a while, what about Matt?" Tai winced when he heard the blondes name. "What's wrong? Why did you wince when I mentioned Matt?" Tai realized that Kari was trying something to find out the truth. He needed to make sure no one ever found out. "No reason, I just felt a small pain in my leg that's all. Listen Kari, I'm ok, I just think I need to sleep a bit more so don't worry that much about me ok?" Kari didn't look reassured, but agreed anyway.
'God I hated lying to my sister like that, but I had no other choice.' Tai finished reminiscing about the talk he had with Kari. "hmm, maybe I should let someone else take over for a while, at least until I can balance things out with Matt. . ." Tai finally decided to let someone else lead the group for a while, he would announce it first thing in the morning. 'Kari is right, I can't keep up with this stress anymore.' All of a sudden, Tai looked up and realized that the sun was already beginning to rise. "Wow, sunrise already? I must've lost track of time while I was thinking. . ." Tai said to himself quietly.
After everyone got up and finished with breakfast, Tai had decided to make his announcement. "Um, everyone," Tai began slowly as he got every bodies attention. Tai looked at the sudden suspicion and hint of worry in Matt's eyes. "I'm sorry guys, but I just haven't been feeling so good lately, I think it would be better if someone else could lead for a few days. I really don't know how I can handle it much longer, I'm sorry but I just need to rest, if only for a little while." No one complained. Agumon walked over to Tai and put a hand on his partners shoulder. "That's ok Tai," Agumon started, "I don't think anyone can blame you for being tired." "Then who is gonna lead?" Mimi asked as she and her digimon looked around. "I guess I will then." Matt spoke up. Everyone turned to face him. "Since Tai is tired, I guess I can take over while he gets some rest." Everyone agreed.
A few days later, Tai was once again having a restless sleep. He twisted and turned and sweat in fear. He was having the same nightmare that had been plaguing him for a while now. In the nightmare, Matt had gotten very angry at Tai and stormed back to camp. Cursing wildly, everyone stared at Matt running back to camp, and Tai running after him, crying, begging him not to tell. Sora and Kari come over to Tai and ask him what's wrong. But before Tai could answer, Matt quickly tells everyone "You want to know?!" "Matt! Please don't!" Tai begs desperately as Matt continues to speak. "Sorry Sora, but Tai can never be with you cause he's a fucking fag!" Sora looks at Matt, then turns to look at Tai. "What is he talking about Tai?" The brunette boy can't think of anything to say, and unfortunately, It gave Matt the opportunity to speak more. "What I'm talking about Sora," Matt begins, "Is that Tai is gay and has been getting it from me." Sora gasps and faces Tai. "Is this true?" Sora asks Tai. He sees the worry in her eyes, yet, as much as Tai wants to say that Matt is lying, he has to finally admit. "Yes Sora, it is. . ." Sora starts to break down in tears and falls to her knees on the floor. Then Tai looks over at Kari and sees a look of disgust on her face. Then Tai sees Matt, smiling, almost laughing, at seeing how miserable Tai is.
That part is always where the dream ends, because by then, Tai wakes up in a cold sweat, sometimes screaming. This time however, he doesn't scream, but is still shook up. Tai looked around to see if anyone was awake. Fortunately, everyone including Agumon was well asleep. Tai breathed out quietly as he tried to forget the nightmare. Unlike the other nights when Tai would have nightmares, this time, he simply cupped his face in his hands and cried. He didn't care if anyone woke up and heard, even Kari. The frustration had finally gotten to him. "Why do I have to be so scared?" Tai said quietly to himself as his sobs kept going. "How much longer can I keep this a secret? God I just can't take It anymore, what should I do?"
Tai began to think about the abuse Matt had been giving him. He was beginning to regret ever seeing Matt. Everything he ever expected from Matt had never happened. 'I can't do this anymore' Tai finally decided as his bawling began to die down, apparently, no one had even stirred in their sleep, even with all the noise Tai had made when he was crying. He was wrong however, because he then felt a warm hand on his arm, with a worried voice to match.
"Tai, something is definitely wrong." Tai turned and saw a look of desperateness in Sora's face. A huge surge of panic swept him when he saw the girl. "Nothing!" Tai quickly screamed out as he stood up and pushed Sora's hand away. "It's nothing ok?! Just please, please, leave me alone. . ." But Sora tried to plead with him to talk to her. Tai didn't know what else to do, so he just turned around and ran deeply into the forest. As he ran he heard the muffled yell Sora gave out, but the more he ran, the lower the sound got until it finally disappeared.
Tai kept running for a few more seconds until he finally ran out breath and collapsed on the ground. Looking around, he saw that he was only about a few feet from the river they had been traveling by. Tired, lonely, and desperate, Tai just lay curled up on the ground. He began to cry once again as he did everything in his power to calm himself down. 'I can't believe someone heard me.' The boy thought as he lay there. Thoughts of fear and rejection soon flooded his mind. 'Now they are going to find out, then they will hate me. God why did I have to let someone hear me, and Sora of all people?" Tai didn't know how long he lay there weeping, desperate for comfort, but he was brought back to reality when he felt himself being shaken roughly.
"Damn it Tai!" He heard Matt yell as he dragged Tai up onto his feet. All the brunette could do was continue weeping slowly as he tried to give an apology. "I, I'm sorry Matt, i. . ." Tai tried to speak between sobs "I just didn't. . . know what else. . . to do." He now looked at the intense anger in Matt's face. 'I can't do this anymore.' Tai began to strengthen himself mentally. 'Matt might end up killing me by accident if I let him control me like this, it has to stop now.'
"Matt," Tai began as he finally got a hold of his sobs. "I don't want to be with you anymore, all you have done is hurt me and make me ill. It's like if I'm just some toy for your sick pleasure. I can't pretend like nothing is wrong anymore. I don't care if you tell anyone, if they can't accept me, then chances are they didn't really care for me in the first place." "What?" Matt said, almost dumbfounded by what he heard. "Listen," Matt began. "YOU are the one who has hurt yourself." "No!" Tai broke in. "I haven't done anything! All I ever wanted was just some true happiness! All I have been stuck with are just false smiles and fake cheerfulness! You think you are the only one who hides behind an emotional barrier!? Don't you know how many times I lay there, crying, thinking about ending it all?! Do you have any idea how many times I didn't kill myself because of how I thought what it would do to those around me?!" Tai caught his breath for a second then tried to hold back more tears.
"Don't you think I would already have done it if I didn't know how sad the others would be?! How sad Kari would be?! But even sometimes, that isn't enough for me to keep going on. Sometimes he only thing keeping me alive is that I would probably get caught and someone would stop me, then I would end up guarded, watched, all the time to make sure I would never get a chance to do it again. That is why Matt, that is why." Matt clenched his fists in anger and lunged at Tai. He quickly knocked the boy to the ground and started shaking him, then trying to take off Tai's shirt. "No! Stop!" Tai tried to beg as Matt had forcefully removed Tai's shirt and was beginning to work on his pants." "You want to know what it's like to get hurt huh?!" Matt screamed as he continued trying to forcefully undress Tai.
Tai started to struggle and crawl away from Matt, but the farthest he got to was the small river. Matt had caught him and knocked him front side down on the ground. Tai tried to scream for someone to help, anyone, Sora, Joe, Izzy, anyone who could stop Matt from trying to rape him. Tai knew that's what Matt wanted to do. Matt wanted to finally rip apart the last piece of innocence the other boy had left. Tai tried his best to struggle again, but Matt had finally overpowered him. In one last, desperate attempt Tai begged Matt to let him go. There was no effect, Matt just kept going with the same sick look in his eyes.
Matt was close to undressing Tai completely when he heard a sobbing and then looked into the river. In the river, he saw Tai's reflection, a few tears had escaped his eyes and fell into the river. Matt's eyes widened with terror as he finally saw all the pain in the eyes of the other boy. Matt finally saw all the pain he had brought, all the misery, and how he betrayed the trust and caring of someone he truly did care back for. For Tai, It that moment seemed to last an eternity. He truly knew that Matt was going to rape him, but then he felt Matt lift off of him. "Oh my god," Matt said as he looked into his hands. "what. have I done." Tai didn't know what Matt was talking about partly because he was still filled with fear that Matt was going to try something else, but then relief swept over him as Matt fell to his knees and began crying into his hands.
Tai still wasn't quite sure what was going on with Matt until Matt stood up and rushed to gather the other beaten and bruised boy in his arms. "I'm sorry Tai!" Matt desperately cried out as he walked Tai over to a small rock along the edge of the river. "I never wanted anything like this to ever happen! Oh god, what the hell was wrong with me? I can't believe I almost raped you." Tai finally regained a sense of the world around him as Matt took him in an embrace so full of love and caring, it was if somehow, the demon inside Matt had just died. The Matt that cared for his friends, that loved his little brother, had finally replaced the evil.
Matt held Tai in that embrace for quite a while, crying and apologizing to Tai the entire time. "I have no idea what in gods name made me do those terrible things." Matt sobbed out as he continued to hug Tai and rest on the side of the rock. All Tai could do was sob as well and let himself be held by his love. The forest wasn't very dense; the two boys were able to see the sun as it began to rise over the digiworld. None of the two spoke as they admired the beauty of the orange sphere; however, Matt was still sobbing a bit and continued to hold Tai.
After a few minutes, Tai spoke up. "All I ever wanted was to be held by you. . ." Tai whispered as they continued to stare at the rising sun. "I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you Tai." Matt finally replied after a few seconds. "I don't know what had ever come over me, I know you can never forgive me for what I have done, and I don't expect you ever will, but I just want you to know I am very sorry for all of this, I don't deserve all the feelings you have for me. You were talking about how you wanted to kill yourself Tai," Matt continued as Tai listened. "But I think I'm the one who should die. I'm the one who brought all this suffering on you; I need to pay for all this. . ."
Tai quickly spoke up when he heard those words. "No! Matt, never speak like that, I know everything that has happened is terrible, but I know there is some good left in you. Just please, please promise me you will never lose it." Matt couldn't believe that Tai was basically telling him to forget about everything he has done. 'If I was Tai I would've run and never looked back. . .' Matt finally realized how deep Tai's love was, and how stupid, moronic, and idiotic he had been by doing such terrible things to Tai. Even Matt didn't know what was going through his mind when he did so many messed up things.
"Matt," Tai spoke as he sat up to face the boy. Matt saw that Tai still had a few more tear streaks in his eyes. "Matt, I need to know if you really do feel the same way about me. I don't want you to do this simply because you are sorry or confused. I want to make sure you really do share my feelings. My biggest fear is that I will be left heartbroken again, I really don't think I would ever be able to take it. So please think about it."
Matt really did think about it for a while. Tai was right, it would simply be another massive heartbreak if Matt didn't share the same feelings anymore after a while, but something, something told Matt that he was making the right choice by being with Tai. Deep in his heart, Matt really did feel the same way. After a little while of thinking, Matt finally looked Tai in the eyes, and with the deepest honesty, he said, "Tai, I have never been more sure about anything." And having said that, he gently lifted Tai's head and planted a kiss so full of love and caring, that Tai could do nothing more than to give in.
After a little while, Tai and Matt began to talk about what they should say to the others. "Tai, I am ready to tell them about us whenever you are." Tai finally decided that he could no longer keep the others in the dark about him and Matt. He had to tell them. "I just don't want to hurt Sora," Tai said quietly as they both continued to stare at the now done rising sun. "It's like you said before Tai," Matt began as he continued to hold on to his love. "If she really cares about you, she won't hate you for anything. No one is forcing her to like it, she just needs to get used to the fact we are together." Tai decided Matt was right in what he said, so they both decided to walk back to camp and come out with it. There really was no more point in keeping everything a secret.
After Matt helped Tai up so he could get dressed, they both walked back to camp, hand in hand. "Matt, I just want to know why did you do such terrible things before, and why did you change all of a sudden?" They both stopped, and Matt then faced Tai. Tai waited patiently for Matt to speak, but it took Matt a few seconds to finally talk. "I. . . I really don't know. I don't know why I did such stupid things and then tried to do something even worse to you. In fact, I don't even know why you forgave me like this, I deeply know I don't deserve this."
Tai looked Matt in the eyes and then replied. "Matt, I always saw how much you cared for everyone else, and how much you loved your little brother. I spent so long wishing you would care for me as much, I wished it so much that I almost drove myself insane over it. Then, when we finally were together, I saw something dark. But you were only like that when we were alone. I just kept wishing that one day you might stop, and you finally have. I guess I was just desperate for someone to care for me. . ."
Tai lowered his head a bit and tried to hold back tears, but Matt knew what Tai was not telling him. Matt gently lifted Tai's head with one hand and caressed the other boys face. "You don't have to be ashamed of wanting love, everyone wants to have someone they can be with, there's nothing wrong with that." Matt took Tai into a loving embrace and they both stood there for a while until Tai finally pulled away. "We should probably get back to camp now." "Yeah," Matt agreed.
They finally reached camp a few minutes later, still holding hands. Everyone, including the kids digimon walked to them and immediately asked if they were ok. "Don't worry guys." Matt assured everyone, "Were ok, but there is something we need to talk about. . ." So then Tai and Matt proceeded to tell everyone that they were together. Tai expected Sora to freak, but she simply had a curious look on her face, then smiled. "Well Tai," Sora said, "I'm just glad your ok now." "Really?" Tai asked, surprised. "You aren't angry about me and Matt being together?" "Nah" Sora replied, "I won't lie, I like you, but if your taken, I don't mind it at all, I'm just glad you're happy. Kari and T.K. then walked over to their brothers and gave them both big hugs. They didn't care if their brothers had any feelings for one another, just as long as they are happy.
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Well, theres da end. Hope you liked reading the fic, I had phun making it. Now, maybe some of you are wondering, "Hey! Wtf is wrong with tai, Matt did such terrible things, shouldn't tai have kicked that loser to the curb?" Well, if you are one of those people who say that I will tell you 2 things.
you need to stop watching too much riki lake because you sound stupid when you say kick to the curb.
you have to understand that I did my best to try and write this fic so it will make some sense. What I was visualizing was an angsty fic with a nice ending, those are my fav types of fics. But I also like angsty beginning angsty end fics. O well, I tried ok, im gonna keep writing more fics anyway so maybe I might write something you will agree with one day.
Ok, that's all I got to say now, so any questions, comments, flames (Hey, any flames just makes me feel wanted. :) Just e-mail me @ quake3rox@aol.com Like I mentioned b4, I am now taking yamachi/Taito fic requests so if you are just too lazy to write ur own fic, then send your idea to me and ill write it up and include you in the credit and all.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own digimon. Yep, sorry to tell ya that, but its true. If I did own digimon things would be quite a bit different :D
WARNING!: This fic contains Yamachi (BoyXboy relationship between Tai and Matt!) So don't read if you are not into dis stuph!!!!! THIS FIC ALSO CONTAINS ANGST, AND SOME OTHER THINGS!
A/n: I just finished writing this fic, so if you see anything wrong with it just e-mail me and tell me so I can correct it. I will update the fic later. Ok, I usually don't write fics this 'descriptive', but I had to in order to really help the plot through. Don't worry, its not THAT graphic, but it does contain a lot of detail.
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The heavily wooded area where Tai and Matt were at helped mute some of the sounds coming from the ground where the two boys were at. "Please Matt, no." Tai whimpered weakly as the blonde was roughly kissing the brunettes neck. "You know you don't want me to stop." Matt responded as he held Tai down on the floor and began to land hard kisses on Tai's lips. "Ugh, please, no, can we please just go back to the camp." Tai felt very uneasy as Matt began to bring his hands up his shirt.
Tai tried his best to get Matt to stop, but even though Tai didn't want Matt to use him in that way, for some reason, Tai wanted this to happen as well. Matt was the only one who could give him this kind of pleasure. Tai knew he was gay ever since he first heard about it when he was around 10. He didn't know why, but he just didn't like girls, and he simply knew he could never give any girl what she expected from him. He knew the people who would be deeply hurt if they found out his secret as well. Sora would be one of them. Tai knew she wanted something more than friendship from him, but Tai would never be able to like her in that way.
Matt continued to grope and kiss Tai on the hard ground. Even through all of the brunettes refusing, Matt continued to go further, beginning to take off Tai's shirt. All Tai could do was whimper and moan helplessly as he let Matt continue. Tai didn't really like what Matt was doing to him. Yet it was the only way Matt ever acted around Tai when the group wasn't there. He hated simply being used by the blonde, but he had no other choice. When Matt used him like that, Tai couldn't do anything because it was the only way he could be close to Matt. It was also Matt who found out Tai's secret just a few weeks ago.
*flashback*
The digidestined leader had told everyone he was going to scout ahead to check the area, but he really needed some time to himself. He just needed to be away from everyone, if only for a few minutes, so he wouldn't go crazy. He walked away from camp for a few minutes until he came to a clearing with a cliff. Looking at the sky, he took a deep breath and held his arms out as the wind refreshed him. He was so happy to be out of that forest, it's true that he was only in a clearing by a cliff, but it was still better than being surrounded by legions of trees.
Tai finally took a second to stare at the beauty of the pink sky. The setting sun made everything look like a great painting. 'O well,' Tai thought to himself as he took in the beauty of the scenery. 'I guess I might as well enjoy being in this digiworld, even if I am stuck here.' Tai finally looked around for a comfortable place to sit and relax for a while. His thoughts drifted to other things besides the scenery after a few minutes. Tai's thoughts finally drifted to the blonde boy of the group. Tai just couldn't help it, he just felt different towards Matt then he felt towards anyone else in the group.
Tai knew he had feelings for Matt, he just didn't want to know what would happen if anyone found out. He remembered some of the things that had led to him developing these strong feelings for the other boy. Tai actually remembered the first time he realized his feelings for Matt. That morning Tai had woken up a bit early and saw Matt getting some food ready for breakfast for the whole group. Everyone else was still asleep. Matt cared so much for everyone in the group, but Tai had to lead them, that meant a lot of blame for whenever he screwed up. But all Matt had to do was stand by and point out all of Tai's mistakes whenever he made them. That was part of the reason Tai thought Matt truly hated him. Matt quickly noticed Tai staring at him.
"Hey Tai," Matt greeted cheerfully as he got Tai's attention. "I guess you're up early today huh?" Matt continued as he began to get the fire heated to make the food. "Well then, since you are awake, I guess you can help me get some more food." Tai nodded sleepily then replied. "Sure Matt, no problem. I need something to do anyway so I don't fall back asleep." Tai then went out and began to think about how much Matt cared for everyone, especially his brother T.K. Tai began to think about how close Matt and his little brother were. Matt would do anything for his little brother. Tai then remembered about how Matt always helped soothe his little brother asleep every night. How much Matt hugged T.K whenever his little brother needed to be comforted.
'If only he would do those things to comfort me when I needed it.' Tai unknowingly thought to himself when he realized what he was thinking. "Oh my god" Tai said quietly as he dropped all the berries he collected. "Im in love with Matt. . ." Tai now finally knew why he had felt so strange around Matt sometimes. At first, it felt a bit strange, but Tai simply couldn't deny what he felt for Matt. After a little while of letting the truth sink in, thoughts of bliss soon filled Tai's mind as he daydreamed more about the blonde of his dreams.
Tai finally relaxed himself on the log as he sat down. Soon he was once again thinking about Matt, except this time, the thoughts were a bit more 'extreme' than the ones that had been going through his mind only a little while ago. Tai threw his head back and moaned softly as he sat with his back on the fallen log and began to please himself. He tried to stay a bit alert just incase someone might come by, but he just couldn't stay alert as the pleasure built up inside him. Without knowing, Tai began to moan out Matt's name every time he stroked himself. He kept on that way until he finally reached climax.
He quickly relaxed himself against the log as he tried to get back his breath. 'If only It wasn't just fantasies.' Tai thought to himself as he finished catching his breath. He then panicked as he heard a few twigs snapping, and then he heard footsteps approaching him. 'Oh no, no no no no no!' Tai quickly worried as he turned around to face whoever was coming. "I saw everything Tai" Matt slowly approached Tai and knelt down next to him. Tai was shaking like mad as he saw Matt approach. "Matt," Tai quickly tried to blurt out because of what he thought was going through after seeing him.
"Matt, I'm sorry, please, don't tell the others. . ." Matt just put a finger on Tai's mouth and gave him a rough kiss, quickly exploring the brunette boys tongue with great force. Tai couldn't help but just melt in Matt's arms as he kept being kissed. Tai didn't notice how hard Matt was kissing him, until they finally pulled away to catch some air.
*end flashback*
Now Tai wasn't really that sure if Matt actually cared for him, or just wanted him as his own personal whore. Matt had never given Tai the gentle kiss he fantasized about so many times, instead his kisses had been strong and rough. Luckily, Matt and him hadn't gone any farther then just making out, a few times Matt did take off Tai's clothes till the boy was just in his boxer shorts, but that was the farthest they went. After that, all Matt did was stand up, get Tai his clothes, then walk back to camp. The caring Matt that would do anything for his friends and that cared for his little brother simply was not there whenever he and Tai were alone. It was as if Matt was possessed by some abusive pervert whenever he and Tai weren't around anyone else.
'Why can't you hold me with the same love you hug your little brother with?' Tai morosely thought to himself as Matt was groping and maltreating him. He quickly came to back to reality as Matt shook him. "Tai!" Matt yelled at the brunette as he realized that Tai was spacing out. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You look like you've just been shot." Matt asked Tai with a big hint of anger in his voice. "Nothing, nothing, I'm sorry Matt, I guess I just spaced out." Tai apologized as Matt got off of him. Tai then sat up slowly. "Matt, can we please just go back to camp, please, I really haven't been feeling well lately." Tai begged. Matt looked at the floor angrily as he simply shrugged, "Ok, whatever, lets go then."
Tai tried to talk to Matt as they slowly walked back to camp. Matt still had an angry look on his face as they were walking. Tai knew why Matt was angry. Matt was angry because he didn't get to reach his release inside
him this time. 'Why do I let him do this to me?' Tai thought to himself as he kept walking. Tai knew why he let Matt do that as well. He was scared, scared about what would happen if Matt really got angry and told everyone in the group about him. Tai knew Matt would reveal him for the 'faggot' he really was.
Tai didn't want Sora to be crushed if she ever found out about his sexuality. He wished deeply that he could feel some attraction to Sora besides friendship, but Tai knew that would never happen. He hated about thinking how crushed she would be if she ever found out. Tai sometimes thought that if he let her find someone else, then tell everyone about him, Sora wouldn't be as destroyed over it as she would be if she still liked him.
Everyone began eating about two hours after Tai and Matt returned to camp. The cold night air forced the digidestined kids to sit huddled around the campfire and eat dinner that night. Everyone was quite as they ate, not even Joe complained this time about anything. Even though no one was speaking, that didn't mean the kids thoughts were quiet. Sora was eating some of the fish which was just about all they could eat since the path they had been taking lately went along a small river. 'Hey,' Sora thought to herself as she ate the fish in small bites, 'It's better than starving.'
Sora now looked over at Tai, who was sitting next to Izzy and Matt. She saw something in Tai's eyes that she didn't notice before. It was like if Tai was very sad about something, 'I wonder what's wrong with him,' Sora began thinking again. 'Kari is ok, so it can't be that.' The girl was thinking. Kari sat between Izzy and Mimi, her digimon partner, gatomon, was playing by the river with the rest of the kids' digimon. 'I guess he is just tired' Sora mentally concluded as she finished her dinner and went off to check on the digimon.
Later that night, Tai was laying on the ground, trying desperately to get some sleep. He tried to clear his mind of all the disturbing thoughts, but to no success. Tired of trying, Tai opened his eyes, sat up, and looked around. Everyone, including Mimi, who was supposed to be keeping watch, was asleep. 'I guess Mimi wouldn't mind if I took over her watch early tonight.' Tai thought as he got up and woke Mimi. The girl stirred a bit, then slowly woke. "Huh? Is it time to wake up alre. . ." Then Mimi remembered that she was supposed to be awake for the night watch. "I'm really sorry Tai" She quickly stood up, "I was just real sleepy and . . ." "That's ok," Tai interrupted. "Get some sleep, don't worry Mimi, I'll take over the watch now, good night."
Tai looked at Mimi for a while as she went over to her digimon and lay next to it to go to sleep. Now Tai sat down by a small tree trunk and took a while to observe the night sky. 'Its just as beautiful as the sunrise' Tai thought to himself as he traced a finger along the ground. Tai kept staring at the sky and began to wonder what it was like to be a star in the sky. 'Just twinkling, with no worries, it must be amazing. Floating there carelessly, being admired by the people who look up at the sky.'
Tai now lay against the trunk and began to think about Matt. 'Why does he treat me so harshly? Why can't he ever take me in a loving embrace and tell me everything will be better?' Tai asked himself thoughtfully. He was beginning to question if he wanted to be with Matt anymore. 'These last few weeks have just been full of misery, I haven't felt loved by Matt ever since the first kiss he gave me. . ." Tai still remembered how distracted he was by the fact Matt returned at least some of his feelings with that first kiss. In fact, the only time Matt had ever actually held Tai was after that kiss. The only time Tai had ever felt secure in Matt's arms.
Ever since then Matt just kept using him. Tai didn't feel safe around Matt anymore. Tai began to feel weak and scared whenever he was around the other digidestined. He knew some of them noticed, they obviously noticed how his usual smiles had disappeared and his cheer had all but faded away. Kari had obviously noticed since she talked to him alone one day about it. "Tai" the boy remembered Kari beginning to tell him as she put a hand on his shoulder.
Sometimes Tai was amazed by how deep his sister was. She was only about 7, but she was already aware about the world around her. "Is something bothering you? You have just been looking so sad and tired." "It's nothing," Tai tried to convince her, "It's just kind of stressful being leader is all. I'm just so stressed out trying to make sure we go the right way." He wasn't lying when he said that either. He really was stressed by trying to make all the right decisions so that none of the kids would have to suffer by the wrong choices.
"Maybe you should take a break Tai" Kari suggested as she looked at the bags under his eyes. "Let someone else take charge for a while, what about Matt?" Tai winced when he heard the blondes name. "What's wrong? Why did you wince when I mentioned Matt?" Tai realized that Kari was trying something to find out the truth. He needed to make sure no one ever found out. "No reason, I just felt a small pain in my leg that's all. Listen Kari, I'm ok, I just think I need to sleep a bit more so don't worry that much about me ok?" Kari didn't look reassured, but agreed anyway.
'God I hated lying to my sister like that, but I had no other choice.' Tai finished reminiscing about the talk he had with Kari. "hmm, maybe I should let someone else take over for a while, at least until I can balance things out with Matt. . ." Tai finally decided to let someone else lead the group for a while, he would announce it first thing in the morning. 'Kari is right, I can't keep up with this stress anymore.' All of a sudden, Tai looked up and realized that the sun was already beginning to rise. "Wow, sunrise already? I must've lost track of time while I was thinking. . ." Tai said to himself quietly.
After everyone got up and finished with breakfast, Tai had decided to make his announcement. "Um, everyone," Tai began slowly as he got every bodies attention. Tai looked at the sudden suspicion and hint of worry in Matt's eyes. "I'm sorry guys, but I just haven't been feeling so good lately, I think it would be better if someone else could lead for a few days. I really don't know how I can handle it much longer, I'm sorry but I just need to rest, if only for a little while." No one complained. Agumon walked over to Tai and put a hand on his partners shoulder. "That's ok Tai," Agumon started, "I don't think anyone can blame you for being tired." "Then who is gonna lead?" Mimi asked as she and her digimon looked around. "I guess I will then." Matt spoke up. Everyone turned to face him. "Since Tai is tired, I guess I can take over while he gets some rest." Everyone agreed.
A few days later, Tai was once again having a restless sleep. He twisted and turned and sweat in fear. He was having the same nightmare that had been plaguing him for a while now. In the nightmare, Matt had gotten very angry at Tai and stormed back to camp. Cursing wildly, everyone stared at Matt running back to camp, and Tai running after him, crying, begging him not to tell. Sora and Kari come over to Tai and ask him what's wrong. But before Tai could answer, Matt quickly tells everyone "You want to know?!" "Matt! Please don't!" Tai begs desperately as Matt continues to speak. "Sorry Sora, but Tai can never be with you cause he's a fucking fag!" Sora looks at Matt, then turns to look at Tai. "What is he talking about Tai?" The brunette boy can't think of anything to say, and unfortunately, It gave Matt the opportunity to speak more. "What I'm talking about Sora," Matt begins, "Is that Tai is gay and has been getting it from me." Sora gasps and faces Tai. "Is this true?" Sora asks Tai. He sees the worry in her eyes, yet, as much as Tai wants to say that Matt is lying, he has to finally admit. "Yes Sora, it is. . ." Sora starts to break down in tears and falls to her knees on the floor. Then Tai looks over at Kari and sees a look of disgust on her face. Then Tai sees Matt, smiling, almost laughing, at seeing how miserable Tai is.
That part is always where the dream ends, because by then, Tai wakes up in a cold sweat, sometimes screaming. This time however, he doesn't scream, but is still shook up. Tai looked around to see if anyone was awake. Fortunately, everyone including Agumon was well asleep. Tai breathed out quietly as he tried to forget the nightmare. Unlike the other nights when Tai would have nightmares, this time, he simply cupped his face in his hands and cried. He didn't care if anyone woke up and heard, even Kari. The frustration had finally gotten to him. "Why do I have to be so scared?" Tai said quietly to himself as his sobs kept going. "How much longer can I keep this a secret? God I just can't take It anymore, what should I do?"
Tai began to think about the abuse Matt had been giving him. He was beginning to regret ever seeing Matt. Everything he ever expected from Matt had never happened. 'I can't do this anymore' Tai finally decided as his bawling began to die down, apparently, no one had even stirred in their sleep, even with all the noise Tai had made when he was crying. He was wrong however, because he then felt a warm hand on his arm, with a worried voice to match.
"Tai, something is definitely wrong." Tai turned and saw a look of desperateness in Sora's face. A huge surge of panic swept him when he saw the girl. "Nothing!" Tai quickly screamed out as he stood up and pushed Sora's hand away. "It's nothing ok?! Just please, please, leave me alone. . ." But Sora tried to plead with him to talk to her. Tai didn't know what else to do, so he just turned around and ran deeply into the forest. As he ran he heard the muffled yell Sora gave out, but the more he ran, the lower the sound got until it finally disappeared.
Tai kept running for a few more seconds until he finally ran out breath and collapsed on the ground. Looking around, he saw that he was only about a few feet from the river they had been traveling by. Tired, lonely, and desperate, Tai just lay curled up on the ground. He began to cry once again as he did everything in his power to calm himself down. 'I can't believe someone heard me.' The boy thought as he lay there. Thoughts of fear and rejection soon flooded his mind. 'Now they are going to find out, then they will hate me. God why did I have to let someone hear me, and Sora of all people?" Tai didn't know how long he lay there weeping, desperate for comfort, but he was brought back to reality when he felt himself being shaken roughly.
"Damn it Tai!" He heard Matt yell as he dragged Tai up onto his feet. All the brunette could do was continue weeping slowly as he tried to give an apology. "I, I'm sorry Matt, i. . ." Tai tried to speak between sobs "I just didn't. . . know what else. . . to do." He now looked at the intense anger in Matt's face. 'I can't do this anymore.' Tai began to strengthen himself mentally. 'Matt might end up killing me by accident if I let him control me like this, it has to stop now.'
"Matt," Tai began as he finally got a hold of his sobs. "I don't want to be with you anymore, all you have done is hurt me and make me ill. It's like if I'm just some toy for your sick pleasure. I can't pretend like nothing is wrong anymore. I don't care if you tell anyone, if they can't accept me, then chances are they didn't really care for me in the first place." "What?" Matt said, almost dumbfounded by what he heard. "Listen," Matt began. "YOU are the one who has hurt yourself." "No!" Tai broke in. "I haven't done anything! All I ever wanted was just some true happiness! All I have been stuck with are just false smiles and fake cheerfulness! You think you are the only one who hides behind an emotional barrier!? Don't you know how many times I lay there, crying, thinking about ending it all?! Do you have any idea how many times I didn't kill myself because of how I thought what it would do to those around me?!" Tai caught his breath for a second then tried to hold back more tears.
"Don't you think I would already have done it if I didn't know how sad the others would be?! How sad Kari would be?! But even sometimes, that isn't enough for me to keep going on. Sometimes he only thing keeping me alive is that I would probably get caught and someone would stop me, then I would end up guarded, watched, all the time to make sure I would never get a chance to do it again. That is why Matt, that is why." Matt clenched his fists in anger and lunged at Tai. He quickly knocked the boy to the ground and started shaking him, then trying to take off Tai's shirt. "No! Stop!" Tai tried to beg as Matt had forcefully removed Tai's shirt and was beginning to work on his pants." "You want to know what it's like to get hurt huh?!" Matt screamed as he continued trying to forcefully undress Tai.
Tai started to struggle and crawl away from Matt, but the farthest he got to was the small river. Matt had caught him and knocked him front side down on the ground. Tai tried to scream for someone to help, anyone, Sora, Joe, Izzy, anyone who could stop Matt from trying to rape him. Tai knew that's what Matt wanted to do. Matt wanted to finally rip apart the last piece of innocence the other boy had left. Tai tried his best to struggle again, but Matt had finally overpowered him. In one last, desperate attempt Tai begged Matt to let him go. There was no effect, Matt just kept going with the same sick look in his eyes.
Matt was close to undressing Tai completely when he heard a sobbing and then looked into the river. In the river, he saw Tai's reflection, a few tears had escaped his eyes and fell into the river. Matt's eyes widened with terror as he finally saw all the pain in the eyes of the other boy. Matt finally saw all the pain he had brought, all the misery, and how he betrayed the trust and caring of someone he truly did care back for. For Tai, It that moment seemed to last an eternity. He truly knew that Matt was going to rape him, but then he felt Matt lift off of him. "Oh my god," Matt said as he looked into his hands. "what. have I done." Tai didn't know what Matt was talking about partly because he was still filled with fear that Matt was going to try something else, but then relief swept over him as Matt fell to his knees and began crying into his hands.
Tai still wasn't quite sure what was going on with Matt until Matt stood up and rushed to gather the other beaten and bruised boy in his arms. "I'm sorry Tai!" Matt desperately cried out as he walked Tai over to a small rock along the edge of the river. "I never wanted anything like this to ever happen! Oh god, what the hell was wrong with me? I can't believe I almost raped you." Tai finally regained a sense of the world around him as Matt took him in an embrace so full of love and caring, it was if somehow, the demon inside Matt had just died. The Matt that cared for his friends, that loved his little brother, had finally replaced the evil.
Matt held Tai in that embrace for quite a while, crying and apologizing to Tai the entire time. "I have no idea what in gods name made me do those terrible things." Matt sobbed out as he continued to hug Tai and rest on the side of the rock. All Tai could do was sob as well and let himself be held by his love. The forest wasn't very dense; the two boys were able to see the sun as it began to rise over the digiworld. None of the two spoke as they admired the beauty of the orange sphere; however, Matt was still sobbing a bit and continued to hold Tai.
After a few minutes, Tai spoke up. "All I ever wanted was to be held by you. . ." Tai whispered as they continued to stare at the rising sun. "I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you Tai." Matt finally replied after a few seconds. "I don't know what had ever come over me, I know you can never forgive me for what I have done, and I don't expect you ever will, but I just want you to know I am very sorry for all of this, I don't deserve all the feelings you have for me. You were talking about how you wanted to kill yourself Tai," Matt continued as Tai listened. "But I think I'm the one who should die. I'm the one who brought all this suffering on you; I need to pay for all this. . ."
Tai quickly spoke up when he heard those words. "No! Matt, never speak like that, I know everything that has happened is terrible, but I know there is some good left in you. Just please, please promise me you will never lose it." Matt couldn't believe that Tai was basically telling him to forget about everything he has done. 'If I was Tai I would've run and never looked back. . .' Matt finally realized how deep Tai's love was, and how stupid, moronic, and idiotic he had been by doing such terrible things to Tai. Even Matt didn't know what was going through his mind when he did so many messed up things.
"Matt," Tai spoke as he sat up to face the boy. Matt saw that Tai still had a few more tear streaks in his eyes. "Matt, I need to know if you really do feel the same way about me. I don't want you to do this simply because you are sorry or confused. I want to make sure you really do share my feelings. My biggest fear is that I will be left heartbroken again, I really don't think I would ever be able to take it. So please think about it."
Matt really did think about it for a while. Tai was right, it would simply be another massive heartbreak if Matt didn't share the same feelings anymore after a while, but something, something told Matt that he was making the right choice by being with Tai. Deep in his heart, Matt really did feel the same way. After a little while of thinking, Matt finally looked Tai in the eyes, and with the deepest honesty, he said, "Tai, I have never been more sure about anything." And having said that, he gently lifted Tai's head and planted a kiss so full of love and caring, that Tai could do nothing more than to give in.
After a little while, Tai and Matt began to talk about what they should say to the others. "Tai, I am ready to tell them about us whenever you are." Tai finally decided that he could no longer keep the others in the dark about him and Matt. He had to tell them. "I just don't want to hurt Sora," Tai said quietly as they both continued to stare at the now done rising sun. "It's like you said before Tai," Matt began as he continued to hold on to his love. "If she really cares about you, she won't hate you for anything. No one is forcing her to like it, she just needs to get used to the fact we are together." Tai decided Matt was right in what he said, so they both decided to walk back to camp and come out with it. There really was no more point in keeping everything a secret.
After Matt helped Tai up so he could get dressed, they both walked back to camp, hand in hand. "Matt, I just want to know why did you do such terrible things before, and why did you change all of a sudden?" They both stopped, and Matt then faced Tai. Tai waited patiently for Matt to speak, but it took Matt a few seconds to finally talk. "I. . . I really don't know. I don't know why I did such stupid things and then tried to do something even worse to you. In fact, I don't even know why you forgave me like this, I deeply know I don't deserve this."
Tai looked Matt in the eyes and then replied. "Matt, I always saw how much you cared for everyone else, and how much you loved your little brother. I spent so long wishing you would care for me as much, I wished it so much that I almost drove myself insane over it. Then, when we finally were together, I saw something dark. But you were only like that when we were alone. I just kept wishing that one day you might stop, and you finally have. I guess I was just desperate for someone to care for me. . ."
Tai lowered his head a bit and tried to hold back tears, but Matt knew what Tai was not telling him. Matt gently lifted Tai's head with one hand and caressed the other boys face. "You don't have to be ashamed of wanting love, everyone wants to have someone they can be with, there's nothing wrong with that." Matt took Tai into a loving embrace and they both stood there for a while until Tai finally pulled away. "We should probably get back to camp now." "Yeah," Matt agreed.
They finally reached camp a few minutes later, still holding hands. Everyone, including the kids digimon walked to them and immediately asked if they were ok. "Don't worry guys." Matt assured everyone, "Were ok, but there is something we need to talk about. . ." So then Tai and Matt proceeded to tell everyone that they were together. Tai expected Sora to freak, but she simply had a curious look on her face, then smiled. "Well Tai," Sora said, "I'm just glad your ok now." "Really?" Tai asked, surprised. "You aren't angry about me and Matt being together?" "Nah" Sora replied, "I won't lie, I like you, but if your taken, I don't mind it at all, I'm just glad you're happy. Kari and T.K. then walked over to their brothers and gave them both big hugs. They didn't care if their brothers had any feelings for one another, just as long as they are happy.
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Well, theres da end. Hope you liked reading the fic, I had phun making it. Now, maybe some of you are wondering, "Hey! Wtf is wrong with tai, Matt did such terrible things, shouldn't tai have kicked that loser to the curb?" Well, if you are one of those people who say that I will tell you 2 things.
you need to stop watching too much riki lake because you sound stupid when you say kick to the curb.
you have to understand that I did my best to try and write this fic so it will make some sense. What I was visualizing was an angsty fic with a nice ending, those are my fav types of fics. But I also like angsty beginning angsty end fics. O well, I tried ok, im gonna keep writing more fics anyway so maybe I might write something you will agree with one day.
Ok, that's all I got to say now, so any questions, comments, flames (Hey, any flames just makes me feel wanted. :) Just e-mail me @ quake3rox@aol.com Like I mentioned b4, I am now taking yamachi/Taito fic requests so if you are just too lazy to write ur own fic, then send your idea to me and ill write it up and include you in the credit and all.