The Great Valentines Day Massacre

Written by: The Young Lady of Legends

Exactly what happens when you pair up melodramatic Valentine's Day hater extraordinaire Serena Tsukino, and pompous Greek god worthy Darien Chiba for Valentines Day? Read and find out! (Serena/Darien pairing)

Chapter One

Valentines Day...

Of every single holiday this has to be the dumbest and without a doubt the single most stressful. Girls of all ages have stress levels that blows the top off the Richter Scale during the so-called "Month of Love." These are the same girls that you find during any other time of year going crazy with friends and having a blast. But this holiday full of pinks and reds...mysteriously gives every person I know who is not one half of a couple the Blues. Strange irony...

I had been a victim of this pre-Valentines melodrama. Yes, I to, walked around with big teary eyes and sappy love poems in my head that I could just hear lover-boy whispering to me as he whisked me off my feet. But the post-Valentines Day letdown always hit and when it hit, it hit hard. Right in the gut.

But alas! No longer! Nevermore will I pine away for some guy who thought he was God's gift to woman-kind. No longer will I even dare to daydream about a single rose being delivered to me from an admirer. I am a changed woman!...er, girl. Whatever.

So when I arrived at the arcade and I noticed it was decorated perfectly with pink and red streamers, confetti in assorted colors and red balloons shaped like big floating hearts, it took all the self-control I could muster not to gag. Andrew had worked hard on these decorations trying to get everyone in the festive spirit. Namely, me. We'd already had our discussion about my feelings toward this inane holiday and he knew perfectly well where I stood.

I batted away a stray streamer dangling from the ceiling as I took my seat. It was hard not to rip them all down by "accidentally" stepping on the things, ripping it from it's base on the ceiling. "Andrew, it was nice of you to decorate the arcade. Where did you find time to do it?" Poor guy, he worked excruciatingly long hours and still made the President's List. I unfortunately couldn't even manage the Dean's List. This was our schools grading system. They used it so it would match the college levels forum, us being so prestigious and all. Yeah right.

He grinned a little bit. "Oh I didn't do it Serena." He turned slightly and pointed at this guy all over some girl who was making goo-goo eyes at him. It did absolutely nothing for my appetite. "You see that guy over there? He decorated, with my permission of course, and asked that girl to be his Valentine. Sweet eh?"

I stuck my finger in my throat in response and made fake gagging noises. "Oh gag me! Who could possibly be so brainless to find that even slightly romantic? 'Be his Valentine'? Oh please! Valentines Day is a copout, used only so guys can lie to their little inflated egos and making them think that they're romantic! I mean it doesn't take a genius to remember something as blatantly obvious as February the Fourteenth. Even Neanderthals can remember something that simple."

"You wouldn't know though, would you? Seeing as how you're running for that world-record for longest life without a boyfriend. What is it fourteen strait years now?" asked a cool, sly voice from behind me. I was beginning to despise that voice. And why in my right mind shouldn't I? Oh yes. Excuse and forgive me! I may have insulted the great and wonderful Darien Chiba.

"For your information I am fifteen, and what's more is that you are quite wrong!" I declared from my stool, which by the way had little pink and red confetti hearts scattered all over it. The fact that I was lying was ludicrous! Well to him it could be. This is what disturbs me about Chiba. The only people that know that piece of darling information would never sell me out, so how exactly would he know that I have a strait fifteen year dating slump? He seems to know everything about me even though we've never had a conversation. That is unless you count verbal boxing matches. His eyes lit up and the prospect of another. You'd think that he'd begin to enjoy this less with every day that goes by. Any idiot would. But Darien Chiba is no normal idiot. No, no, no! He must their king!

But only when it comes to everyday life. At school he had top marks. In fact there should probably be a separate category designed especially for him. What kind of freak makes a 36 on their ACT THREE TIMES IN A ROW?!

And before you even get the wrong idea about my little tid-bit of information I am not trying to dig for facts on Darien Chiba's life. I can already see eyebrows raising and words like 'stalker' coming to mind. It just so happens that he is the top student at the same high school that I attend and this was common knowledge to the entire city.

Ha-ha. I win.

This was when he raised his eyebrow at me and pretended to correct himself. "Oh excuse me. I meant a *fifteen* year bad dating streak! What did you do, break every mirror in a glass shop at birth? No? Well then it must be that..." he trailed off and with every word spoken he was looking as smug and sure of himself as ever "...you just can't get a boyfriend!"

The last six words were spoken so that not only did I get the benefit of hearing his oh-so-wonderful-comeback, the rest of the arcade did as well. Lucky them.

I just shrugged and didn't let on like it bothered me. "Well, since you obviously enjoy discussing my lack of love life and *mysteriously* even know about it's existence..." I trailed off as well for good measure. You know just to leave him dangling "...it tells me that you obviously wouldn't mind being the center of it."

Ha ha! Score one more for Serena Tsukino! That makes the score:

Darien Chiba: 10,987

Serena Tsukino: 10, 988

To say the least I was proud of myself. I didn't wait for his comeback though. I wanted to keep the score where it was. I jumped up and hurried out a smug grin washed over my face. This would be why I didn't notice everything I missed.

***Darien's POV***

That was probably what I needed to hear. Have someone put me in my place, God knows I'd deserve it. Its just harder to be roughly yanked back into reality when you've been treated like a Greek god for so long. Not that I minded though. I loved that these people absolutely worshiped me and even though that sounds incredibly egotistical, I speak truth. The only down side to that though is that whatever effect I seemed to have on those people who revered me, I didn't have over Serena.

Andrew tells me this is why she must be so appealing to me. To tell you the truth I believe he's spent too much time reading into this and studying Sigmund Froyd.

I noticed Andrew's eyebrow quirked at me. "Well if she didn't just hit the nail on the head."

I sighed exasperatedly. "Shut up Andy. I'm in no mood to argue with you about this."

"No, you've just finally conceded to defeat. Admit it..." I looked at him, and began to study his words. I also began to fear the next few. Admit what? "You have run out of arguments. She has backed you into a corner and you can't get out of it."

"Andrew?" I asked as I lay my forehead down on the shiny countertop.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Do me a favor will you?" was my prelude to asking my favor. I studied the countertop since my eyes couldn't exactly see anything else from this position. You'd never think it was actually this clean but up-close and personal, you can really tell that it is. Andy is a closet Obsessive Compulsive cleaner.

"Whatever you want buddy." His answer told me he was expecting nothing like what he was about to get. So I let him have it.

"Eat shit."