Chapter 8: The Painful Secret
As we all marched towards Kalm we had our share of battles. However we eventually reached it intact.
Cloud: Let's go to our rooms. I'll fill us all in later.
Tifa and I reserved a room.
Perry: Wanna tell me what's on your mind?
Tifa: Not just yet. I want to do something first.
What did she have in mind?
After we unpacked all our things we met in the lounge area in back and talked about Cloud's story with Sephiroth.
Red XIII: What a fascinating story.
Cloud: That's how it was.
Tifa: …
Aeris: We still haven't rested yet. Let's get some sleep.
After Tifa and I arrived in our bedroom we both realized one thing.
Perry and Tifa: Only one bed?
Perry: I'll sleep on the floor.
Tifa: No, it's okay. You can sleep with me if you want.
Perry: oh thanks.
It was dark out. We both decided to hit the hay for now.
Tifa: Hey!
She threw a pillow at my head.
Perry: What was that for?
Tifa: I was being cute and spontaneous.
Perry: Your going down.
I threw the pillow back at her but she dodged it. However I came in and tackled her on the bed.
Tifa: oof…wow…you're quick…
Perry: Your stronger than that.
Tifa: I know.
She flipped me over and was on top of me now.
Perry: Woah. Should've seen that coming.
Tifa: Now I have you.
Perry: do your worst.
She unstrapped her suspenders and her breasts seemed to stick out more.
Perry: Oh my…
Tifa: Let me enjoy this one last time.
Perry: Sure.
Last? Must've misheard her.
She let herself lie down on top of me and went in for a series of kisses.
Perry: Oh, I love you Tifa.
Tifa: yeah.
Yeah? What was that? Usually you say I love you too.
Slowly we both drifted off into dream land.
I was back in that place from before.
Perry: Where am I?
The surroundings looked like my room.
Perry: Home?
It must have been home.
Then I woke up.
Tifa: you awake.
Perry: Am now.
Tifa: Well I think I should tell you something.
Perry: You sound so worried.
Tifa: I'm afraid of what may happen.
Perry: Oh come on what could go-
Tifa: Perry! Let me speak!
Perry: …
Tifa: Over the past couple of days I've been thinking. And I don't get the feeling towards you I thought I would.
Perry: We haven't been together that long though.
Tifa: I feel feelings towards someone else.
Perry: But, I…love you.
Tifa: But I DON' LOVE YOU!
Perry: wha…ahh…ah…
I was speechless. What was there to say? The woman whom I thought loved me as much as I loved her back just said she has no feelings for me and doesn't love me. OUT LOUD!
Perry: ahh…ah…ah…
I felt my eyes water and without thinking I dashed out the door past the other party members in the lobby and into town. Anywhere else but here.
I parked under the bridge near the shops. Lying on the ground crying. I had never felt so sad. She just played me for a fool. I trusted her more than anyone. I gave her my heart. Turns out she just broke it.
After an hour or so Aeris came to find me.
Aeris: There you…you alright?
I tried to speak but I couldn't find out how. As hard as I tried nothing came out.
Perry: …
Aeris: What's the matter? Was it Tifa?
I couldn't say a word. I tried again to speak but this time Aeris knew something was wrong.
Aeris: Oh no.
The others were waiting at the inn outside when we walked up.
Barret: Where have you been?
Aeris: I afraid he can't answer you.
Cloud: How come?
Aeris: he's…he…Perry's lost his voice.
They all stood there in awe upon hearing this.
Barret: What do ya mean lost his voice?
Aeris: He can't say anything. He's tried but can't speak at all.
Tifa: Oh no! I'm so sorry Perry.
I gave her an expression that said it wasn't her fault. It probably wasn't hers. It was mine. I just didn't treat her right or didn't do the right things. DAMN! Why is it that when I get close to a relationship something manages to take it away from me? It's not fair! I can't win! I just can't.
Cloud: Is he okay otherwise?
Aeris: I think so. I think something happened to him to make him so down like this.
Red XIII: I doubt he'll get his voice back easily. I think if something hurt him he'll have to put it past him before he can speak once more.
Barret: But in the meantime we got Sephiroth to worry about.
Cloud: Let's go guys.
Tifa: Perry, I'm sorry. I never meant for this.
I didn't want to but I gave her this look of hatred and anger.
We left Kalm and headed northeast. I was so depressed. Great, not only did I have my heart destroy but my voice too.
Aeris: Don't be too sad Perry. We'll find a way to restore your voice.
I didn't want her to get too close to me. I walked ahead of her to avoid this. I didn't want people to get close. Just to protect myself. I felt like I could never let someone that close again.
The Chocobo Ranch was ahead. This wasn't turning out to be my morning.
I noticed Aeris walk over to Tifa to discuss things. If I could speak I'd tell her to just drop it. That's Aeris for you…trying to make everything better, no matter what.
Tifa: Oh, hi Aeris.
Aeris: Hello. Say, care to talk about what happened to you two?
Tifa: I'd rather not.
Aeris: What happened? It may help us get him better.
Tifa: well. You remember what I told you in the Shinra Building?
Aeris: OH!
She got a surprised look on her face. I happened to be listening in and cared to listen longer.
Tifa: Yeah. It turns out that I really care more for…that other person much more than I do Perry.
As if my heart wasn't broken enough. MUCH MORE? Then why the hell did she pretend to be attracted to me? Out of everything bad that's happened to me this is the worst. Oh if I could speak I'd be screaming at the top of my lungs right about now. But I couldn't. I had become a combination of Ward and Garnet. Strong but mute because of a great tragedy.
Aeris: Oh, poor Perry. He's taking this very badly though.
Tifa: I know. He's like this because today I…
Aeris: I know. We could all hear you. You screamed it.
Tifa: Oh no!
What? Everyone heard it? This is just awful. Now they all think I'm some kind of fool for trying to be with Tifa. Oh Jesus, give me the strength!
Aeris: He must be completely crushed.
Tifa: I know. I feel just terrible. I mean when we first knew him was always kinda cheerful and supportive and helpful. Now look at him. Now he's just isolated himself from us.
I had. Everyone was traveling in a semi-close group, but I remained at a distance.
Aeris: And he can't speak anymore, and he's been just kinda in that rut he's made.
MY rut? I didn't do this to myself, I thought, or did I?
Tifa: I wish I could do something.
Aeris: I doubt he'll listen to you. I mean if this happened to you would you listen to him?
Tifa: Yeah.
Aeris: I do it then.
Tifa: Oh no. You barely know him.
Aeris: Don't worry. I'll get through to him.
Tifa: I hope you know what you're doing.
I saw Aeris walking over and decided to see where she was going with her plan.
Aeris: Hi Perry. How are you?
Perry: …
Aeris: Oh I forgot. You can't say. Silly me.
I thought to myself that her plan sucked so far.
Aeris: Well. If you ever feel like being with a friendly face just let me know. I'll make time for you.
I nodded at that idea. I just hope that I don't try to get carried away.
Aeris: That's good to know.
Even though I couldn't speak I moved my lips. The words I would've said were "Thanks…sis"
Aeris: What was that? I got that thanks part but what was that last one?
Lipping "sis" again she got the message.
Aeris: Oh. I see how you could say that. We do have things in common. I don't mind then if you consider me your little sister.
Actually it was ironic she called herself that. I was only sixteen. I was going to be seventeen soon but she's around twenty. Anyway, she was my sister in our minds.
Aeris: Mind if I walk beside you the rest of the way big brother?
Giving her a nod "yes" she remained where she was as the Chocobo Ranch came into view over the horizon.
Barret: Looks like that Chocobo Ranch.
Cloud: Do we need to go there?
Red XIII: I heard that a giant serpent lives in a march nearby and catches people who try to walk across.
Cloud: Doesn't sound to bad.
Red XIII: But the only way to proceed further is to cross the marsh.
Cloud: But I doubt even we can overcome such a beast.
Tifa: Maybe someone at the ranch can help us out.
Aeris: Why not? How do you feel about that Perry?
I shrugged my shoulders to indicate I didn't care much.
As we arrived at the ranch the owner told us that we couldn't cross on foot but we could cross on a chocobo and outrun it.
Tifa: How do we catch one?
Owner: My grandson sells Chocobo Lure Materia for 2000 gil. It will help.
Barret: Yeah but it is kinda late. Why don't we camp outside tonight?
Owner: Oh you can sleep in the barn. We have plenty of places to sleep in there.
Cloud: Couldn't hurt.
We all went into the barn to retire for the night.
I couldn't sleep. As hard as I tried all I could think of was what happened this morning.
(Remembering)
Tifa: But I DON'T LOVE YOU!!!!!!
Perry: ah…ah…ahh…
It played over in my mind again and again. Then I made a decision.
Getting up and gathering my gear I decided to leave everyone. They all seemed to know everyone so well, with the exception of Red XIII, but he was with us just to get back to his hometown. That word bothered me. Hometown. I have no hometown anymore. I don't have anything to really do with these people. I went with them because I cared for Tifa so much. Now what do I have to care for?
Before I could exit the barn Aeris seemed to hear me.
Aeris: yawn…oh…Perry…where are you going?
Turning to face her I pointed outside.
Aeris: You're leaving?
I nodded.
Aeris: But why? We'll get past the marsh tomorrow.
Walking up to her I tried desperately to express why I was going.
Aeris: I don't quite get it. You seem to feel you don't belong.
I nodded again.
Aeris: Oh come on. Don't feel so lonely. There are other fish in the sea.
I shook my head.
Aeris: Well I you must go then be careful.
She hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I did the same back to her.
As I left I mouthed the words "Bye sis."
Outside all the chocobo's were asleep. Better not wake them.
Then next to one of them was a red materia. Choco/Mog!
Carefully reaching in I picked it up. Excellent, but that won't stop that snake. The materia.
I went into the owner's house and found the materia. It was pink just like it should be so I figured it was. I took it and placed 2000gil in its place.
Outside I walked around and found something in the ground. Chocobo tracks.
I heard noise in the distance and ran to see what it was. Two bird like creatures were attacking a chocobo.
Summoning Choco/Mog the two birds got up close and personal with a wild chocobo and a dizzy mog. They died quickly.
Going up to the hurt chocobo I helped it stand.
It stood there smiling. A guess I caught it. Climbing on its back I instructed it to go onward…towards the marshes.
(If some of you are kinda scratching your heads at the whole thing with Aeris being his sister just try and deal with it as corny as it may seem. Think Zidane/Mikoto.)
As we all marched towards Kalm we had our share of battles. However we eventually reached it intact.
Cloud: Let's go to our rooms. I'll fill us all in later.
Tifa and I reserved a room.
Perry: Wanna tell me what's on your mind?
Tifa: Not just yet. I want to do something first.
What did she have in mind?
After we unpacked all our things we met in the lounge area in back and talked about Cloud's story with Sephiroth.
Red XIII: What a fascinating story.
Cloud: That's how it was.
Tifa: …
Aeris: We still haven't rested yet. Let's get some sleep.
After Tifa and I arrived in our bedroom we both realized one thing.
Perry and Tifa: Only one bed?
Perry: I'll sleep on the floor.
Tifa: No, it's okay. You can sleep with me if you want.
Perry: oh thanks.
It was dark out. We both decided to hit the hay for now.
Tifa: Hey!
She threw a pillow at my head.
Perry: What was that for?
Tifa: I was being cute and spontaneous.
Perry: Your going down.
I threw the pillow back at her but she dodged it. However I came in and tackled her on the bed.
Tifa: oof…wow…you're quick…
Perry: Your stronger than that.
Tifa: I know.
She flipped me over and was on top of me now.
Perry: Woah. Should've seen that coming.
Tifa: Now I have you.
Perry: do your worst.
She unstrapped her suspenders and her breasts seemed to stick out more.
Perry: Oh my…
Tifa: Let me enjoy this one last time.
Perry: Sure.
Last? Must've misheard her.
She let herself lie down on top of me and went in for a series of kisses.
Perry: Oh, I love you Tifa.
Tifa: yeah.
Yeah? What was that? Usually you say I love you too.
Slowly we both drifted off into dream land.
I was back in that place from before.
Perry: Where am I?
The surroundings looked like my room.
Perry: Home?
It must have been home.
Then I woke up.
Tifa: you awake.
Perry: Am now.
Tifa: Well I think I should tell you something.
Perry: You sound so worried.
Tifa: I'm afraid of what may happen.
Perry: Oh come on what could go-
Tifa: Perry! Let me speak!
Perry: …
Tifa: Over the past couple of days I've been thinking. And I don't get the feeling towards you I thought I would.
Perry: We haven't been together that long though.
Tifa: I feel feelings towards someone else.
Perry: But, I…love you.
Tifa: But I DON' LOVE YOU!
Perry: wha…ahh…ah…
I was speechless. What was there to say? The woman whom I thought loved me as much as I loved her back just said she has no feelings for me and doesn't love me. OUT LOUD!
Perry: ahh…ah…ah…
I felt my eyes water and without thinking I dashed out the door past the other party members in the lobby and into town. Anywhere else but here.
I parked under the bridge near the shops. Lying on the ground crying. I had never felt so sad. She just played me for a fool. I trusted her more than anyone. I gave her my heart. Turns out she just broke it.
After an hour or so Aeris came to find me.
Aeris: There you…you alright?
I tried to speak but I couldn't find out how. As hard as I tried nothing came out.
Perry: …
Aeris: What's the matter? Was it Tifa?
I couldn't say a word. I tried again to speak but this time Aeris knew something was wrong.
Aeris: Oh no.
The others were waiting at the inn outside when we walked up.
Barret: Where have you been?
Aeris: I afraid he can't answer you.
Cloud: How come?
Aeris: he's…he…Perry's lost his voice.
They all stood there in awe upon hearing this.
Barret: What do ya mean lost his voice?
Aeris: He can't say anything. He's tried but can't speak at all.
Tifa: Oh no! I'm so sorry Perry.
I gave her an expression that said it wasn't her fault. It probably wasn't hers. It was mine. I just didn't treat her right or didn't do the right things. DAMN! Why is it that when I get close to a relationship something manages to take it away from me? It's not fair! I can't win! I just can't.
Cloud: Is he okay otherwise?
Aeris: I think so. I think something happened to him to make him so down like this.
Red XIII: I doubt he'll get his voice back easily. I think if something hurt him he'll have to put it past him before he can speak once more.
Barret: But in the meantime we got Sephiroth to worry about.
Cloud: Let's go guys.
Tifa: Perry, I'm sorry. I never meant for this.
I didn't want to but I gave her this look of hatred and anger.
We left Kalm and headed northeast. I was so depressed. Great, not only did I have my heart destroy but my voice too.
Aeris: Don't be too sad Perry. We'll find a way to restore your voice.
I didn't want her to get too close to me. I walked ahead of her to avoid this. I didn't want people to get close. Just to protect myself. I felt like I could never let someone that close again.
The Chocobo Ranch was ahead. This wasn't turning out to be my morning.
I noticed Aeris walk over to Tifa to discuss things. If I could speak I'd tell her to just drop it. That's Aeris for you…trying to make everything better, no matter what.
Tifa: Oh, hi Aeris.
Aeris: Hello. Say, care to talk about what happened to you two?
Tifa: I'd rather not.
Aeris: What happened? It may help us get him better.
Tifa: well. You remember what I told you in the Shinra Building?
Aeris: OH!
She got a surprised look on her face. I happened to be listening in and cared to listen longer.
Tifa: Yeah. It turns out that I really care more for…that other person much more than I do Perry.
As if my heart wasn't broken enough. MUCH MORE? Then why the hell did she pretend to be attracted to me? Out of everything bad that's happened to me this is the worst. Oh if I could speak I'd be screaming at the top of my lungs right about now. But I couldn't. I had become a combination of Ward and Garnet. Strong but mute because of a great tragedy.
Aeris: Oh, poor Perry. He's taking this very badly though.
Tifa: I know. He's like this because today I…
Aeris: I know. We could all hear you. You screamed it.
Tifa: Oh no!
What? Everyone heard it? This is just awful. Now they all think I'm some kind of fool for trying to be with Tifa. Oh Jesus, give me the strength!
Aeris: He must be completely crushed.
Tifa: I know. I feel just terrible. I mean when we first knew him was always kinda cheerful and supportive and helpful. Now look at him. Now he's just isolated himself from us.
I had. Everyone was traveling in a semi-close group, but I remained at a distance.
Aeris: And he can't speak anymore, and he's been just kinda in that rut he's made.
MY rut? I didn't do this to myself, I thought, or did I?
Tifa: I wish I could do something.
Aeris: I doubt he'll listen to you. I mean if this happened to you would you listen to him?
Tifa: Yeah.
Aeris: I do it then.
Tifa: Oh no. You barely know him.
Aeris: Don't worry. I'll get through to him.
Tifa: I hope you know what you're doing.
I saw Aeris walking over and decided to see where she was going with her plan.
Aeris: Hi Perry. How are you?
Perry: …
Aeris: Oh I forgot. You can't say. Silly me.
I thought to myself that her plan sucked so far.
Aeris: Well. If you ever feel like being with a friendly face just let me know. I'll make time for you.
I nodded at that idea. I just hope that I don't try to get carried away.
Aeris: That's good to know.
Even though I couldn't speak I moved my lips. The words I would've said were "Thanks…sis"
Aeris: What was that? I got that thanks part but what was that last one?
Lipping "sis" again she got the message.
Aeris: Oh. I see how you could say that. We do have things in common. I don't mind then if you consider me your little sister.
Actually it was ironic she called herself that. I was only sixteen. I was going to be seventeen soon but she's around twenty. Anyway, she was my sister in our minds.
Aeris: Mind if I walk beside you the rest of the way big brother?
Giving her a nod "yes" she remained where she was as the Chocobo Ranch came into view over the horizon.
Barret: Looks like that Chocobo Ranch.
Cloud: Do we need to go there?
Red XIII: I heard that a giant serpent lives in a march nearby and catches people who try to walk across.
Cloud: Doesn't sound to bad.
Red XIII: But the only way to proceed further is to cross the marsh.
Cloud: But I doubt even we can overcome such a beast.
Tifa: Maybe someone at the ranch can help us out.
Aeris: Why not? How do you feel about that Perry?
I shrugged my shoulders to indicate I didn't care much.
As we arrived at the ranch the owner told us that we couldn't cross on foot but we could cross on a chocobo and outrun it.
Tifa: How do we catch one?
Owner: My grandson sells Chocobo Lure Materia for 2000 gil. It will help.
Barret: Yeah but it is kinda late. Why don't we camp outside tonight?
Owner: Oh you can sleep in the barn. We have plenty of places to sleep in there.
Cloud: Couldn't hurt.
We all went into the barn to retire for the night.
I couldn't sleep. As hard as I tried all I could think of was what happened this morning.
(Remembering)
Tifa: But I DON'T LOVE YOU!!!!!!
Perry: ah…ah…ahh…
It played over in my mind again and again. Then I made a decision.
Getting up and gathering my gear I decided to leave everyone. They all seemed to know everyone so well, with the exception of Red XIII, but he was with us just to get back to his hometown. That word bothered me. Hometown. I have no hometown anymore. I don't have anything to really do with these people. I went with them because I cared for Tifa so much. Now what do I have to care for?
Before I could exit the barn Aeris seemed to hear me.
Aeris: yawn…oh…Perry…where are you going?
Turning to face her I pointed outside.
Aeris: You're leaving?
I nodded.
Aeris: But why? We'll get past the marsh tomorrow.
Walking up to her I tried desperately to express why I was going.
Aeris: I don't quite get it. You seem to feel you don't belong.
I nodded again.
Aeris: Oh come on. Don't feel so lonely. There are other fish in the sea.
I shook my head.
Aeris: Well I you must go then be careful.
She hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I did the same back to her.
As I left I mouthed the words "Bye sis."
Outside all the chocobo's were asleep. Better not wake them.
Then next to one of them was a red materia. Choco/Mog!
Carefully reaching in I picked it up. Excellent, but that won't stop that snake. The materia.
I went into the owner's house and found the materia. It was pink just like it should be so I figured it was. I took it and placed 2000gil in its place.
Outside I walked around and found something in the ground. Chocobo tracks.
I heard noise in the distance and ran to see what it was. Two bird like creatures were attacking a chocobo.
Summoning Choco/Mog the two birds got up close and personal with a wild chocobo and a dizzy mog. They died quickly.
Going up to the hurt chocobo I helped it stand.
It stood there smiling. A guess I caught it. Climbing on its back I instructed it to go onward…towards the marshes.
(If some of you are kinda scratching your heads at the whole thing with Aeris being his sister just try and deal with it as corny as it may seem. Think Zidane/Mikoto.)