A/N: HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! For the 19th of December....
A/N2: I dunno what to write here! so HI!!! Oh check out my other stories and my favourite stories list!!
A/N3: OK all is not well in the Hardy (Jeff) household, Jeff and Jessie got into a fight the night Jeff came home and Jeff walked out the next morning Blair walked out...
JEFF'S POV
Once I stormed out of my own house, I drove around for a few hours until the sun started to come up then I went to the hill Matt and I always used to sit on and watch the sunrise. It was a couple of miles from our old place so every weekend Matt and I would wake up early and ride to the hill. We started doing it when mom got sick, we would go up and sit there Matt would put his arm around me, I was only 3 and he was 6, he ment everything to me. Dad was to busy looking after mom to realise we were gone. Then when mom died Matt and I used the hill as our sanctuary, we went up there most mornings just sitting there talking and hugging, we were 4 and 7 then and when dad found out he was so mad that me and Matt would go off like that! He made us stop going. I hadn't been up to the hill since I was 4.
I had been sitting there for about 2 hours when someone came up behind me,
"Hey little bro" I turned around to see Matt.
"Hey Matt"
"So I heard your home"
"Who told you?"
"Shane I spoke to him last night when you weren't on the show"
"Oh ok!"
"Thought I would find you here"
"If I had known you were looking I would of gone somewhere else"
"Oh be nice! Are you ok?" He asked,
"So why are you looking for me?" I said ignoring his question,
"Blair stormed out this morning, Jessie rung me to see if I could find you"
"What do I have to do with Blair storming out?"
"One he is your son! Two he heard the fight last night"
"OH! Matt she doesn't love me anymore"
"Jessie loves you very much she's just arfraid you will hurt her and the kids"
"I did something last night that I wish I didn't do"
"What?"
"I.... I... I Hit her"
"Jeff why did you do that?"
"I don't know I just lost it! Matt she doesn't want me at home"
"Yes she does she wants you back so much!"
"Not any more"
"She does Jeff. You just have to talk to her"
"She doesn't trust me"
"She doesn't want to be hurt!"
"But I wont hurt her"
"You already have!"
"I know! I feel so bad..." I said Matt leaned over and hugged me... It must of looked pretty funny a 45 yr old and a 49 year old hugging. After a moment Matt said to me,
"Beautiful sunrise"
"Just like when we were little"
"You remember?"
"How could I forget, when mom got sick you took me up here every weekend"
"Yea, you were so little. Only 3 years old"
"It was a month or two after I first saw Jessie!"
"Yea, you could barely ride so I would sit you in the wagon and connect it to my bike"
"You rode so fast I thought I would tip over and end up dead"
"Yea, I miss those days Jeff"
"So do I, but they are gone now"
"Why can't we bring them back"
"Because we are grown men, we have our own families to look after. We can't disappear every weekend to watch the sunrise like little kids"
"Why not? Why can't we bring that back? Jeff do you remember what I told you the day after mom died and we were sitting up here?"
"Umm... You told me you loved me and you would always look after me, that these mornings were ours, our tribute to mom, no matter how old we were we could still come here and have the sunrise..."
"That it didn't matter if we were 10 or 100, it would be me and you and the sun rise. That the sunrise let us know that everymorning mom was watching over us. That we could tell her anything and she would hear it!" Matt finished
"Matt that was just a children's fantasy"
"Give it a shot Jeff. Talk to mom tell her whats going on"
"Matt don't be stupid"
"Come on! I'll do it too"
"FINE! Hey mom, its Jeff. Its been a long time I hope your still watching over us. Cricky mom I'm 45 and my life has gone down the drain, I thought I had everything a perfect job, a perfect wife, 3 perfect children, I lost site of what I really wanted and now I'm going to loose it all. You died 41 years ago but not one day has gone by with out me thinking about you. Mom I don't know what to do! I'm so lost, I wanted to walk again and I did, but I did for all the wrong reasons. I am so scared that I am going to loose what I love the most, I'm afraid that I wont be there for the kids, because I have hurt them and they wont want me there. I'm afraid to loose Jessie, I love her now more than I did when we were teenagers but I keep doing things wrong, I keep stuffing up! Mom I miss you so much!" I said, Matt hugged me and after a moment I turned to him and whispered,
"Your turn"
"Hey mom, it's Matt. I turn 50 soon and I have 3 wonderful boys, Shawn whose 16, Jeff whose 15 and Mark whose 8. Every thinks my life is perfect but I'm so scared, Mark's just been diagnosed with Lukemia, Oh mom he is so young! He has so much more life to live. Amy doesn't want to admit he's sick, its starting to tear our marriage apart. I wouldn't be able to stand it if I lost Mark and Amy. It's like when you were sick, dad didn't want to admit it and tried to hide it from Jeff and me, then you died and we were so lost with out you. It is so hard to loose a parent I don't want to loose my son. He is such a tough little guy, went through his first lot of chemotherapy last week, then he decided he wanted to shave his head. I love his courage so much! Mom I don't know what to do, how to deal with it all. Amy and I are always fighting and Shawn is walking out every second day. He some reason he blames me for Mark being sick. I'm so scared. Mom I miss you so much. I love you!" He finished with tears in his eyes, I wrapped him in a big hug,
"Matt why didn't you tell me Mark was sick?"
"You haven't been around to listen"
"I am so sorry! I wish I've been here for you to talk to"
"Yeah me too"
"Matt I wish I could make every thing ok!"
"Find a cure to cancer"
"You know if I could I would"
"I know. Just be here for me"
"I will Matt I will"
A/N: OK I know I kinda finished it sort of short but mum says I have to go to bed.
A/N2: I dunno what to write here! so HI!!! Oh check out my other stories and my favourite stories list!!
A/N3: OK all is not well in the Hardy (Jeff) household, Jeff and Jessie got into a fight the night Jeff came home and Jeff walked out the next morning Blair walked out...
JEFF'S POV
Once I stormed out of my own house, I drove around for a few hours until the sun started to come up then I went to the hill Matt and I always used to sit on and watch the sunrise. It was a couple of miles from our old place so every weekend Matt and I would wake up early and ride to the hill. We started doing it when mom got sick, we would go up and sit there Matt would put his arm around me, I was only 3 and he was 6, he ment everything to me. Dad was to busy looking after mom to realise we were gone. Then when mom died Matt and I used the hill as our sanctuary, we went up there most mornings just sitting there talking and hugging, we were 4 and 7 then and when dad found out he was so mad that me and Matt would go off like that! He made us stop going. I hadn't been up to the hill since I was 4.
I had been sitting there for about 2 hours when someone came up behind me,
"Hey little bro" I turned around to see Matt.
"Hey Matt"
"So I heard your home"
"Who told you?"
"Shane I spoke to him last night when you weren't on the show"
"Oh ok!"
"Thought I would find you here"
"If I had known you were looking I would of gone somewhere else"
"Oh be nice! Are you ok?" He asked,
"So why are you looking for me?" I said ignoring his question,
"Blair stormed out this morning, Jessie rung me to see if I could find you"
"What do I have to do with Blair storming out?"
"One he is your son! Two he heard the fight last night"
"OH! Matt she doesn't love me anymore"
"Jessie loves you very much she's just arfraid you will hurt her and the kids"
"I did something last night that I wish I didn't do"
"What?"
"I.... I... I Hit her"
"Jeff why did you do that?"
"I don't know I just lost it! Matt she doesn't want me at home"
"Yes she does she wants you back so much!"
"Not any more"
"She does Jeff. You just have to talk to her"
"She doesn't trust me"
"She doesn't want to be hurt!"
"But I wont hurt her"
"You already have!"
"I know! I feel so bad..." I said Matt leaned over and hugged me... It must of looked pretty funny a 45 yr old and a 49 year old hugging. After a moment Matt said to me,
"Beautiful sunrise"
"Just like when we were little"
"You remember?"
"How could I forget, when mom got sick you took me up here every weekend"
"Yea, you were so little. Only 3 years old"
"It was a month or two after I first saw Jessie!"
"Yea, you could barely ride so I would sit you in the wagon and connect it to my bike"
"You rode so fast I thought I would tip over and end up dead"
"Yea, I miss those days Jeff"
"So do I, but they are gone now"
"Why can't we bring them back"
"Because we are grown men, we have our own families to look after. We can't disappear every weekend to watch the sunrise like little kids"
"Why not? Why can't we bring that back? Jeff do you remember what I told you the day after mom died and we were sitting up here?"
"Umm... You told me you loved me and you would always look after me, that these mornings were ours, our tribute to mom, no matter how old we were we could still come here and have the sunrise..."
"That it didn't matter if we were 10 or 100, it would be me and you and the sun rise. That the sunrise let us know that everymorning mom was watching over us. That we could tell her anything and she would hear it!" Matt finished
"Matt that was just a children's fantasy"
"Give it a shot Jeff. Talk to mom tell her whats going on"
"Matt don't be stupid"
"Come on! I'll do it too"
"FINE! Hey mom, its Jeff. Its been a long time I hope your still watching over us. Cricky mom I'm 45 and my life has gone down the drain, I thought I had everything a perfect job, a perfect wife, 3 perfect children, I lost site of what I really wanted and now I'm going to loose it all. You died 41 years ago but not one day has gone by with out me thinking about you. Mom I don't know what to do! I'm so lost, I wanted to walk again and I did, but I did for all the wrong reasons. I am so scared that I am going to loose what I love the most, I'm afraid that I wont be there for the kids, because I have hurt them and they wont want me there. I'm afraid to loose Jessie, I love her now more than I did when we were teenagers but I keep doing things wrong, I keep stuffing up! Mom I miss you so much!" I said, Matt hugged me and after a moment I turned to him and whispered,
"Your turn"
"Hey mom, it's Matt. I turn 50 soon and I have 3 wonderful boys, Shawn whose 16, Jeff whose 15 and Mark whose 8. Every thinks my life is perfect but I'm so scared, Mark's just been diagnosed with Lukemia, Oh mom he is so young! He has so much more life to live. Amy doesn't want to admit he's sick, its starting to tear our marriage apart. I wouldn't be able to stand it if I lost Mark and Amy. It's like when you were sick, dad didn't want to admit it and tried to hide it from Jeff and me, then you died and we were so lost with out you. It is so hard to loose a parent I don't want to loose my son. He is such a tough little guy, went through his first lot of chemotherapy last week, then he decided he wanted to shave his head. I love his courage so much! Mom I don't know what to do, how to deal with it all. Amy and I are always fighting and Shawn is walking out every second day. He some reason he blames me for Mark being sick. I'm so scared. Mom I miss you so much. I love you!" He finished with tears in his eyes, I wrapped him in a big hug,
"Matt why didn't you tell me Mark was sick?"
"You haven't been around to listen"
"I am so sorry! I wish I've been here for you to talk to"
"Yeah me too"
"Matt I wish I could make every thing ok!"
"Find a cure to cancer"
"You know if I could I would"
"I know. Just be here for me"
"I will Matt I will"
A/N: OK I know I kinda finished it sort of short but mum says I have to go to bed.