Chapter 4. Like a cup of hot chocolate and cakes.
Wow, already an update! I don't think I've ever updated so quickly before… Oh, well, there's a first to everything, right? Thank you so much for your kind reviews, in fact, it's them who urged me to post this so soon. An epilogue is planned, by the way.
Yup, it's the last chapter.
Standard Disclaimers Apply.
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The new teahouse was quite crowded by the end of this cold Sunday, but they still managed to find a secluded table rather quickly. People were scattered here and there, talking quietly among themselves, laughing or whispering, holding tightly around their hot mugs.
The teahouse was on the top of a recently built building, which was dominating all the others for the moment, with huge windows, which could let the people casually spending their time, enjoy the view. In the background, a permanent band played a slow and relaxing music and a few couples were even dancing to the enticing music.
Yukito watched them for a moment, while he and Tomoyo were waiting for their orders. Apart from the actual orders to a waitress, Tomoyo hadn't said a word, a lost look in her dull purple eyes. The same look that she bore now, gazing, probably without seeing the town bathed in the fading daylight.
Yukito would have preferred her to speak first, but, sighing inwardly, he thought that this young girl, almost woman, was Touya's cousin. Meaning, maybe, she would have only if he was truly lucky but somehow feeling that he wasn't, as she was as half stubborn, maybe, that Touya himself. So gathering his thoughts and keeping his tone light, Yukito said, still glancing at the dancing couples behind Tomoyo, over her shoulder.
"Touya told me about your conversation in the park."
Almost absent-mindedly, Tomoyo nodded but Yukito's sharp eyes didn't miss her tense shoulders.
Slowly, folding his hands before him, Yukito started, his gaze dropping to his hands, reminiscing the past and the pain it held, among the joy. "I refused my new identity only for Touya…" A small smile crept to his lips, he could almost see Touya's horrified face when he had been told the truth about why Yukito hadn't told him sooner, about why Yukito forced himself to forget he wasn't a 'real human'.
"I didn't want Touya to know about me not being a real human, I was scared Touya would reject me." He now could remember the time before he forced himself to forget about his real identity, shortly after meeting Touya for the first time, during those long nights, waiting for something unknown, but dreading that Touya would find out about his double personality and cast him away. "But when I started to grow weak, I also started worrying on not being able to see Touya anymore and that scared me to death."
Tomoyo raised her head and stared at Yukito and his folding hands: his knuckles were white from him tightening his fingers too hard. Sakura had told her about this incident and the outcome, Yukito's real identity, but she had never thought it held so much pain and sadness for Yukito. She hadn't realized about dependent Yukito was of Touya. She had always believed it was the opposite, that if Touya was still there, it was all for Yukito's sake, after all, Touya had given up his power for Yukito.
"If I couldn't see Touya anymore, why living then?" Yukito kept on, leaning on his elbows, taking his face closer to Tomoyo's who hadn't realized he had looked up, focused as she was on his hands and words. "That's why I unconsciously I reached out for Touya when I fainted in gym class. Because I knew my life was vanishing but at least, I wanted Touya to be there."
Tomoyo stared in the huge smiling eyes of the man sitting opposite to her. His glasses were shining in the fading light and his silver hair gleaming orange and red, like a gentle and warm fire. Tomoyo was about to pour her heart on him when the waitress popped out of nowhere, shattering their private universe, where the rest of the teahouse didn't exist, and placed before them huge amount of dessert, cakes of all sorts, even several ice-creams and two mugs of very hot chocolate.
When the young woman finally left the two of them alone, Tomoyo had lost the urge to tell someone, she had withdrawn in her shell, not knowing what to do, know knowing how Yukito had managed to knock it down the first time. She wrapped her hands around her mug, head bent and it took all her might not to burst in tears.
Yukito surveyed her from the corner of his eyes, as he wolfed down his third slice of lemon pie. Smiling to himself, he recognized once more, Touya's stubbornness in the girl.
"Tomoyo-chan?" He asked cheerfully, transferring another slice of cake to his plate.
"Yes?" She answered, like a robot, looking up. Years and years of polite training finally kicking in.
Unexpectedly, Yukito shoved a bit of the lemon pie of his plate in her mouth. "Here." He said, cheerfully again, beaming like a child.
"Ah! Yukito-san!" Tomoyo exclaimed, embarrassed as her hand flew to her mouth, blushing madly. From the corner of her eyes, she noticed a few people, glancing hers and Yukito's way. She noticed the sly looks, shining of male pride or just envious, and the gentle smiles, warms smiles of couples, remembering their own young days, smiling like parents. They must believe we're dating. She thought, her hand still on her mouth, red.
As he hadn't a care in the world, Yukito kept on eating, as usual. "It's good, isn't it?" He smiled.
That was when she understood. Why he fed her. To cheer her up. Her heart almost burst from gratitude and happiness of knowing someone cared enough. Someone cared enough to take her, here, to make a fool of himself to lift her spirit, someone with glasses. He too had done this kinds of silly tricks to cheer her up. He, Eriol.
"I…" Tomoyo stopped and turned to look at the city under them. The night was creeping closer. "I understand what you've said, Yukito-san." She assured him, her tone firm, but her eyes still looking away. Yukito carefully placed his fork by his plate and took a sip of water.
"Really?" He questioned her, as he placed the glass down.
Tomoyo nodded but didn't utter a sound, nor looking at him either. Yukito almost sighed aloud and decided against it, preferring eating. He ate in silence for a while, when she sipped on her hot chocolate. The fork in his mouth, Yukito pondered for a while, then reached out for her small porcelain hand, surprising Tomoyo by his bold move.
Her eyes quickly travelled from her hand up to his face, finally meeting his eyes, warm brown and rigid purple clashing. "Yukito-san?" She wondered, confused at his gesture.
"How would you feel, if Eriol would be to leave tomorrow?"
"I… I'd be… sad."
Yukito sighed and shook his head, squeezing her hand. "Try, Tomoyo-chan. Really. Eriol-kun booked some tickets for him and his guardians to go back to England."
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Tomoyo said nothing and just stared at Yukito. Then in slow motion, colours and sounds came back to her and she felt a freezing hand running down her spine, causing her to shiver madly. She blinked once and a tear ran down her porcelain-like face. "Really?" She managed to utter with enough detachment, but Yukito wasn't fooled.
"Tomoyo-chan," he started gently. "Look at me." And when she did, he asked her in a soft voice. "How do you feel? How do you truly feel?" He put a light stress on his last question and surveyed her face closely. Tomoyo in response, closed her eyes and brought a trembling hand to her heart, where she clutched her fingers tightly around the material.
"Dead."
Yukito released her other hand and brought it to her face, resting it against her cheek, surprising Tomoyo and snapping her out of her state. "Touya and Syaoran-kun managed to knock some sense in his thick head, last night. Even though it took them two night of constant lecturing, several threats, having Spinel Sun sitting on his back in his true form to prevent him from fleeing and promises of taking his heart out with a silver spoon, they managed to convince him not to leave before everything is lost." Yukito smiled broadly and winked at her. "It's as far they could get, they couldn't make him promise to stay forever, this, is up to you." He finished proudly, handing her his handkerchief.
Tomoyo wiped her tears, smiling weakly. It was as simple as a cup of hot chocolate and cakes, she was in love with Eriol. It dawned on her like the sunrise, evident, obvious, illuminating every corners of her heart, as easy as breathing, it just came.
Without wonder, hurt or sweeping her off her feet, it just came over, she felt like looking for something for hours, only to find it sitting on her lap or behind her ear.
Just like Eriol who would turn the house upside down while looking for his glasses, when they were on his nose. Feeling silly for not realizing sooner, Tomoyo, between her tears, giggled.
Yukito smiled at this and chuckled with her. His chuckles died in his throat, turning in another of his soft smiles when Tomoyo asked him. "Why do you help me so much? First Touya-kun and then you."
"I am Yue and Yue is me." Yukito, mimicking her earlier action, put his hand over his heart, his eyes closed, as he said slowly. "I was in love with Clow Reed, but Clow Reed didn't love me because he didn't see anything interesting in life, nothing was new. Not even love."
Yukito opened his eyes, turning them towards the illuminated city and he whispered, like sharing a secret with her. "I was blessed a second time and this time my love is shared but I'd like him to be happy."
Tomoyo stared for a while and when he turned to meet her eyes, she answered with a smile of her own. Smile, which turned mischievous as she faked scowling at him. "That was mean, Yukito-san." She pouted and Yukito laughed. He had never thought she could be such a tease.
"Maa, let me treat you another piece of cake to make you forgive me, ok?"
"Treat me? Or treat yourself?" Tomoyo asked him, as he attracted the attention of a nearby waitress.
Yukito laughed once more and declared, in a playful tone. "Touché."
Tomoyo giggled while he ordered another round of cakes and cookies but when the waitress was gone, she said, her heart soaring. "Thank you."
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"Come on, you jerk, move, will you?" Syaoran grumpily said, pushing forward a dazed Eriol. For the last three nights, Syaoran had slept over Eriol's house, making sure the English boy wouldn't sneak away in the night after the hard-won promise he and Touya had managed to wrench from him. Since then, Eriol always seemed to be in a kind of fog or as if he had smoked a little too much. But Syaoran knew he hadn't smoked anything, nor didn't he have a single drop of alcohol or any kind of any substance for the matter running in his system, as he refused to eat or drink anything. In fact, Eriol had done really little apart from avoiding Tomoyo like the plague and sitting in his red high chair, staring at nothing.
As if just remembering how, Eriol raised his hand to open his shoe locker, his head bent with his long dark bangs falling over his eyes. Syaoran sighed again at the speed or rather the lack of it, Eriol was moving.
"Come on, you zombie, I want to attend today's class, you know? Not tomorrow's!" Syaoran gave another push in Eriol's back with his left elbow, as he had already put his school shoes on. He was standing next to Eriol, his hands crossed behind his head, his bag in his left one, he turned his gaze to Eriol's shoes as something red had attracted his eyes: a small red book was laying on them and as Eriol's hands closed on it, Syaoran trying to see the title, asked.
"What's that?" But Eriol didn't answer: his face suddenly lit up with a huge smile and life entered his dead eyes once more. He spun on his heels trying to spot something when Sakura said, walking closer to the boys, a smile on her cherry lips.
"None of your business." Sakura laughed at Eriol's behaviour as he was extending his neck to see over the sea of students his Tomoyo." She's in your favourite room, Eriol-kun." As if just noticing her, Eriol turned his eyes down on her and smiled to her, nodding. He threw his school shoes on, leaving Syaoran to put his other shoes in the locker and ran down the hall without a glance backwards the small red book in his hand.
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As they witnessed Eriol running down the hall, Syaoran frowned at Eriol's suddenly full of life display and turned to his girlfriend. Sakura surveyed his face and smiled knowingly, she knew he was worried for Eriol even if he said the opposite. So she waited quietly next to him while he bent down to gather Eriol's shoes to put them in his locker. Then, holding hands, Syaoran and Sakura walked quietly down the hall to their class. "What was that book?" He finally grumpily asked, making Sakura smiled at the tone.
Sakura looked up at him, smiling back at him and answered. "It's Tomoyo-chan's response to Eriol-kun's confession. Yesterday, Yukito-san brought Tomoyo-chan to the new teahouse in town and he made her realize what she really felt for Eriol-kun by making her imagine how she'd feel if Eriol-kun left."
Syaoran stared down at Sakura and opened the door for her, letting her step first in the class, pondering on what Yukito did. As they walked down the aisle to their seats, while Sakura was waving everyone a greeting, Syaoran finally confessed. "I don't understand"
Turning back to him, after putting her bag on her chair, Sakura giggled and said "Silly." Frowning, and eliciting more giggles from his girlfriend, Syaoran put his bag on his table, taking off his coat while Sakura turned to face him, taking off her coat too, telling him. "Ne, Syaoran-kun…"
"What is it?" He answered her, absent-mindedly, putting his coat away.
"I've wanted to tell you this a long time before but… Otousan has received an offer from a foreign university and I'm going with him."
Syaoran froze in his movements and turned slowly to face his girlfriend as the world came tumbling down on him. His vision suddenly darkened and the sounds stopped coming to his ears, only the suddenly pounding of his heart. He blinked, trying to find something to say, spluttered, opened his mouth more, closed it, opened it again, but none came until Sakura giggled once more.
"Silly, it's not true, but that's what Yukito-san did to Tomoyo-chan." Syaoran let the breath he had been holding back escape him as he fell in his chair, relieved, his shoulders down. He chuckled also, eyes closed in relied and Sakura bent down, till her elbows rested on his desk and kissed him gently on the cheek, in excuse. Syaoran looked up at her, happy as he nodded to her.
"I see… It's when you think that you're losing someone that you realized how much you love that person."
Sakura nodded to him, smiling. "Tomoyo-chan is really scared, but she doesn't want to lose Eriol-kun because of her fear."
Smiling with her, Syaoran only shrugged and said "It's okay, it's now up to my ancestor to make her fear go away."
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"I see that you found my White Day present." Tomoyo stated as Eriol barged in the room, panting from running. She had her back to him, sitting by the piano, her hands creating a soft lullaby he had once taught her.
"Where's mine?" Tomoyo asked him, smiling gently, as if everything was normal, her head titled on the side. The sun stroke her black hair and he wished he had enough courage to do it himself while in his chest, his crazy heart started to pound louder. Tomoyo stopped playing and turned on the bench to face him. And he couldn't take it anymore. He bent his head, his breathing turning raged and he whispered hoarsely.
"You already received it." A giggle took him aback and Eriol snapped his head up and could only stare at her, watching his beloved, devouring her with his eyes as she stood up from the bench and gracefully walked closer to him. The sunlight was flooding in the room by the window behind Tomoyo, casting a golden aura around her. Her hair was shining purple and her eyes were almost light violet. A warm violet pulling a string on his heart. An angel or a demon, he couldn't tell because she could shatter him in a glance or pull him with her, high in heavens.
As Tomoyo stood just in front of him, Eriol grabbed her right hand gently and put it on his pounding heart, looking in her eyes. His breathing quickened and Tomoyo could feel under her fingers his heart starting to beat faster and stronger in his chest.
Eriol couldn't say more. He didn't trust his voice. He was hoping beyond hope but her smile only encouraged him. So trembling, he closed his arms around her, bringing his brow against hers, her hand still placed over his heart. For a while, they didn't move and he didn't dare to speak, to ask her the question whirling in his mind.
The world seemed to have stopped around them: they didn't notice the giggling students passing in the hall pointing at them, as Eriol had forgotten to close the door behind him, nor did they hear the ringing of the first bell, telling the students to get back in their classes. They were wrapped together in another world where they were alone but content in that intimacy, the outside world was reduced to the song of a nearby bird calling the spring. Their world was resumed only of their arms around each other, their foreheads against one another and their hearts beating at the same rhythm.
Maybe, she sensed his wonder, maybe she found courage, maybe she was waiting for him to initiate but seeing as nervous as he was deciding to initiate it herself, maybe… He'd ask his question later, right now it didn't really matter to him to know what made her act this way, he'd have time, and if he could help it, he had a lifetime to ask her as Tomoyo tiptoed and placed her lips against his own in a feather-like kiss.
On the cover of a small red book lying carelessly, forgotten, on the cold floor of the music room, in gold letters, shining gently in the morning light, if someone had looked at it, one would have been able to read.
Paul Eluard. Capital of Pain.
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La courbe de tes yeux fait le tour de mon cœur
Feuilles de jour et
mousse de rosée,
Parfum éclos d'une couvée d'aurores
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The curve of your eyes toured my
heart,
Day sheets and froth of dew,
Flavours bursts a brood of dawns
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End Story.
This heart-wrenching poem was written by a French author: Paul Eluard. Capital de la douleur 1929.
Author's note:
Sob. Here it is, the end of "La Courbe de tes Yeux." Sob, sob. I'm so happy so many people reviewed for this little story who popped out of nowhere, I'm so happy you guys followed me through this and let me tell this tale. I'm so happy. I wish I had arms big enough to hug you all against my heart. Thank you.
Tomoyo and Eriol are my favourite Card Captor Sakura characters because they aren't helpless (I find Sakura sometimes quite helpless and it really ticks me off sometimes…Don't get me wrong, she's still a sweetheart, but Tomoyo's way much better!! I'm a sucker for dark-haired boys and girls anyway.)
As for Tomoyo not crying prettily, well, everybody picture Tomoyo as a princess, perfect in everything, at least I wanted a little something different, I just wanted to show her as a human being.
For Eriol, I've noticed we either make him know-it-all kind of guy or evil one. I've read a few where Eriol actually was seen as a human being not the 'reincarnation of the powerful Clow Read'. I don't know if I succeeded but I had to give it a try.
Ah, la, la… Tricky things to write, isn't it.
Anyway, an epilogue is planned, however it's still in work, meaning I only have the grand lines of it and the dialogues, the rest will come after, after but I promise not to take forever, maybe next week.
10.12.2002
mikim