~evil-cat enters stage left and sets up a stand with the sign above reading; Valium, £1 a pill! Great Deal!!~
evil! Will you stop trying to exploit these people!! And don't think that I can't see the anti-banana leaflets under that table missy, you just put them in the bin right now!
~cat turns away with a sigh~ Disclaimer time pookys! I'm not Mercedes Lackey (note the non-American-ness, lack of literary talent and absence of any parrots) therefore, if you recognise anything it follows that it isn't mine!
Chapter Three- First Flickers.
The bitter wind sighed through the bare branches of the trees. Branches raised to the sun, like claws straining to reach it, to draw it closer and cage it's warmth.
The Pelagirs in winter were hostile and unforgiving, the only surcease being in the rural villages, oasis' of light and warmth in the ice riddled darkness of the land.
~Unless you happen to be named Saffri Rahda. In which case freezing in the Forest is infinitely preferable to choking on the thoughts and contempt of the entire village.~ Saffri thought bleakly as she coaxed the small pile of twigs into flame, gasping in relief as the fire caught she restrained herself and slowly added larger branches, rather than flinging fuel at the fire and smothering it.
~Eesh, I wish I were a Mage or something. Then I could make as big a fire as I wanted, or use a spell to keep me warm or something.~
Saff hunched over the fire in a vain attempt to absorb all of the heat from it. Despite it being near Midwinter she was spending more time in the Forest than before in a hope of distancing herself from the rest of Bolten. If she wasn't around people, she didn't have to remember she was a person. And if she wasn't a person, then it followed that she didn't have feelings. If you didn't have feelings then you couldn't be hurt.
Things had gone downhill for Saffri since the autumn, impossible and as laughable as that had seemed a scant three months ago.
That day, the day of the headache had been the start of it. Since then Saffri hadn't been able to build the wall around her mind, not properly. Before she had pictured her wall as built of bricks and stone, strong enough to keep most things out. Strong enough to protect her. Now her walls were weak, built out of banks of sand and shards of pottery; ineffective and easily breached.
No wall, or as near to no wall as made scant difference, meant that Saff had to endure the thoughts and feelings of everyone in the village more or less continuously. Not even in sleep could she evade them for the thoughts of others became twisted into her dreams and chased her through the black of the night.
Being forced to experience every notion to come into a hundred odd minds simultaneously was driving her slowly insane.
The thoughts and notions were bad enough. By far the worse were the thoughts that centred on herself, on Saffri the outcast.
~I didn't realise how much they hated me. I don't conform, I'm not what a villager or a girl child should be, therefore I should be…dealt with- made to conform. That's just the adults…Lorshi's Court are worse, they already hated me, and now it's becoming apparent that the rest of the village shares their sentiments, they can be more- obvious- in their persecution.~
Saff felt the tears rising, the unhappiness lodging in her throat as a cold hard lump, and blinked frantically, staring at the flames, trying to lose herself in the insubstantial beauty of the fire. It didn't work. Saff felt the tears trickling down her wind chapped and numbed cheeks.
Saffri felt sure it wasn't just her increased sensitivity and inability to build a wall, the villagers had become overtly hostile to her, sudden silences and curling lips meeting her where ever she went.
To avoid this, and to get them out of her mind Saffri avoided the village except to return at night to sleep and for lessons.
~Not that I sleep much any more. Being chased by someone else's nightmare, or someone else's ideas for how to- improve- me is not my idea of fun. At least if I'm awake I can guess what is me and what is them.~
Puzzling enough, Father Jaric had remained the only person who didn't spend the day obliviously tramping through Saffri's head this might have been due to the fact that even being in the same room as the Priest was enough to spark off a headache, and spending any amount of time in his presence, such as for lessons, was enough to produce a dazzle headache that would have flattened a carthorse, and left the few remaining shreds of Saffri curled in a corner silently wailing.
Still staring at the fire, Saff wished again that she could vanish, become something like a flame, insubstantial and unfeeling.
~Dancing in the light rather than drowning in darkness.~
Without even realising it Saff slipped into a state of trance, half awake and uncaring, being drawn into the flickering abstracts formed by the fire. Her mind began to feel warm and light, and more, her wall was glowing, flickering like the fire. An incorporeal curtain of flame danced around her mind.
~Wha-?!~
With a gasp Saff jerked herself awake and the wall of flames around her mind died. Simultaneously the small fire by her feet shuddered and collapsed in on itself. Startled by this Saffri involuntarily reached out towards the ashes.
They were cold.
Lurching to her feet Saffri backed away from the pile of ashes, mind whirling in circles.
~How? What?… How did I- where did-?~
Mind babbling incoherently, Saffri's feet automatically headed back to the village, with none of her usual stealth or caution.
This inward focus and lack of awareness meant that Saffri didn't realise Lorshi's Court were on the path in front of her until Lorshi's mocking voice pierced her thoughts, leaving traces of sickly green behind it.
"Well look what we have here, Bolten's answer to a freak show and a court jester all rolled into one."
As Saffri jerked her head up and focused on Lorshi the rest of the group spread out, forming a circle around Lorshi and Saffri. Noticing this, all thoughts of fire were banished as the icy wind seemed to gust right through Saffri, leaving a layer of cold dread behind it.
~Oh no.~
Saffri stood as if frozen as Lorshi laid into her, egged on by the additional insults supplied by Garen and the rest of her cronies. The words didn't make sense to Saffri. Just random strings of sound that provided a background for the ice-edged blades that were the thoughts and feelings of every member of the group.
Ice edged blades and tipped darts pierced Saffri's soul, her mind, leaving trails of invisible blood that etched their way down her psyche.
Lorshi levelled a venomous glare at Saffri, annoyed that she wasn't getting a reaction.
~Stupid bitch! Say something! Don't just stand there like a statue…I know, I'll make you say something-~
Lorshi's mind gave Saffri just that scant warning and she scrambled back, narrowly avoiding Lorshi's descending hand.
"You bitch! How did you do that?" Lorshi snarled.
"Just leave me alone Lorshi." Even to her own ears Saff's voice sounded strained, unsteady.
In reply Lorshi swung her hand again, and again, the split second of red tinged mental warning allowed Saffri to duck back.
This happened four or five times until Lorshi finally launched herself at Saffri, shrieking in rage.
"Bitch! Tree-girl!"
They collided and Lorshi scratched at Saff's face, pushing her backwards, into the clutching arms of the others.
Saff couldn't see, couldn't hear. The blades of ice had reduced her to tatters, those few remains now writhing as the blades continued to attack, the constant roar of angry thoughts making her head pound.
~Not a…please not a dazzle headache…please…stop-~
Silent pleas ignored Saff Felt herself scatter on an intangible wind. Desperately trying to cling to herself, Saffri searched frantically for something, anything to help her.
Unbidden, the image of the fire seeped into her head. Maybe the wall of fire could help her, block them out long enough for her to think of how to escape.
Abandoning the futile attempts to gather herself together Saff Reached for the fire crying to it without words.
The frost in her mind evaporated, the icy blades turning to steam.
The heat spread, Saff suddenly felt heat around her, revelling in the warmth, ignorant to the scream, she expanded the heat all around her.
Suddenly she realised that she was standing upright, no hands were grasping at her. Opening her eyes she was startled to find that Lorshi's Court were standing away from her, and there seemed to be more of them than she remembered.
~No, wait…it's the rest of the village…why are they-?~
The thought wasn't completed as Saff suddenly noticed that, although the villagers were still standing in the deep snow, she herself was standing on blackened earth. Moreover, for six paces around her, in a perfect circle the ground was all snow free, blackened and steaming slightly.
The villagers were standing on the edge of the circle and it was then that Saffri noticed the strangest thing of all.
It was silent.
There was no sound at all except for her gasping breaths. No sound and nothing, nothing at all in her head. The villager's expressions were all the same, frozen, blank and their minds were silent.
Barely able to comprehend this total lack of noise Saffri opened her mouth, just to break this unnatural silence.
She never made that sound, there was a sudden whistle in the air behind her and pain exploded in the back of her head, multi-coloured sparks carrying her mind up and away, even as her body collapsed onto the warm, damp soil.