COMING TO TERMS
Standard Disclaimers nothing has changed they have not offered me a piece of the pie.
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Spoilers: Need to Know
Author's Note: My friends know I think they are best for editing – thanks.
Thank you to my posse of readers; who always review, you guys are the greatest. =====================================================================================================
Clayton Webb's dreams were consumed with Anna. At night he would close his eyes and she would come to him.
"Clay, I love you." Anna would say.
"I love you, why did you leave me?" Clay would ask.
"I haven't left you." Anna would reply. "I'm always with you."
"I need you, nothing else matters." Clay would tell her.
"Il mio cuore con voi. Ti amo per sempre." Anna would state.
"And my heart's with you. I love you forever." Clay would respond and then wake up.
Four Months Later…
Webb had barely spoken to anyone in the months since Anna's death. On his own he made inquiries regarding the explosion. He spoke with John Pierce and asked time and again if they were sure it was Anna, maybe it was the neighbor or something. John told him the DNA tests confirmed that it was her.
Clay's life consisted of work and nothing more. Mac and Harm tried to reach him, but they failed. He did take time to see Porter but those visits were brief and silent. All she could do was see her son's pain.
When he was in town, he would take Anna's nephews to the stables. That was the most social thing he did. He felt closer to Anna by doing this. The boys didn't understand where Zizi was, but they enjoyed the time with their "Uncle Clay."
He couldn't bring himself to visit Anna's grave. It was too difficult. He arranged to have sterling roses placed at her grave each week. Maybe a time would come when he had the strength and will to go.
Clay's heart was no longer in his work. His heart was no longer in anything. There had been some scuttlebutt around the office regarding the families of the Angel Shark, a classified submarine that sank in 1968. JAG was investigating, based on a request from a Congresswoman whose father served aboard her. Webb had been given strict orders not to involve himself in this.
Knowing what the information would mean to the families, Webb disobeyed orders. He understood what closure meant, even if he did not have it, he could not take that away from these people. He gave Harm the information needed at the sacrifice of his career. Before Webb knew it he was being transferred to Paramaribo in Suriname. There was no time for good-byes.
Two Months Later…
Clayton Webb was serving as the Deputy Chief of Station in Paramaribo. He did his job as expected. There was no emotion in what he did, but he had been like that since Anna's death. Each night after he was done he frequented a small American Style Bar. There he would sit; a drink in one hand and the engagement ring in the other. He carried it with him at all times. It was on his key chain, that ring made him feel close to Anna. It was all he had. He spoke only to the bartender, who had on several occasions tried to introduce him to some of the women who had expressed in interest. Clay just shook his head. Every now and then, Clay would walk over to the jukebox at the far end of the room and select a Frank Sinatra tune. He rarely stayed to listen to the song. It had continued like this from the beginning. Finally, the bartended asked.
"My friend, tell me what makes your heart so heavy." He said.
"My heart died awhile ago." Clay replied with a small laugh.
"A woman broke your heart?" He asked.
"She took my soul, actually I gave it to her and I had hers." Clay said.
"Where is she now?" He asked.
"She's an angel now, the most beautiful one in heaven." Clay said.
"I'm sorry." He said.
"Well, what can you do?" Clay said very coldly and went to the jukebox. He picked a song and returned to his stool. "I'll have another."
"You never have a second drink." He replied.
"Tonight I will. It's been almost six months. She loved Sinatra."
I'll
never smile again
Until I smile at you
I'll never laugh again
What good would it do?
For tears would fill my eyes
My heart would realize
That our romance is through
I'll never love again
I'm so in love with you
I'll never thrill again
To somebody new
Within my heart
I know I will never start
To smile again
Until I smile at you
Clay sat and sadly listened to the entire song. Six months had passed, people said it would get easier but it didn't. It got harder. "I'll be right back."
He went to use the facility, when he returned there was a brandy snifter sitting where is drink had been.
"I didn't order this." Clay said.
"I know. A lady did, she said you looked sad." He replied.
"I don't want it." Clay said. "You know that."
"I told her, she said it would make you feel better." He answered.
"Where is she?" Clay asked looked around the empty room.
"She was just here. Enjoy my friend, toast your love." He said.
Clay picked up the snifter and raised it to no one. He took a sip. It had a familiar taste.
"Is something wrong?" He asked.
"No, I just haven't had this drink in a long time. Is that woman coming back?" Clay asked.
"I don't know. I was very surprised when she ordered it, no one around here drinks Nocello." He stated.
Clay heard the click of a new record being loaded on the jukebox…
Our love affair is
a wondrous thing
That we'll rejoice in remembering
Our love was born with our first embrace
And a page was torn out of time and space
Our love affair, may it always be
A flame to burn through eternity
So take my hand with a fervent prayer
That we may live and we may share
A love affair to remember
Hearing the song, he jumped from his stool, looking for whoever had made the selection. He saw a woman with long dark hair standing across the room and immediately went to her.
"Who are you?" Clay asked. "Why are you playing that song?"
"Excuse me?" The woman replied.
"I'm sorry, I thought you were someone I once knew." Clay said.
"I'm sorry, I'm not." The woman smiled.
He was losing his mind. He could not understand what was happening. He went back to his stool and sipped his drink. He listened to the song fade out. He was about to leave but something made him stay. He looked at the engagement ring, closed his fist around it, and then he closed his eyes.
"Parting is such sweet sorrow…"
"Did you hear that?" Clay asked the bartender as he opened his eyes. "Or have I finally lost my mind."
"I didn't hear anything." The bartender said. "My friend maybe the extra drink was not a good idea."
Clay nodded and left the bar. He wandered sadly through the streets until he came to his residence. The past months had been hard; for some reason, tonight was now proving to be the hardest. He sat on the porch and looked up to the sky. I have to let go and say good-bye.
He sat for what seemed to be hours. In the darkness, he watched as people walked past, couples arm in arm, how lucky they were to have happiness. He knew it was ridiculous, but each time he saw a woman with long dark hair, which was not uncommon in these parts, his heart would quicken just a bit. In his mind he wished it were Anna coming back to him, even as an apparition. At night, alone in his bed, he would dream of the time they shared. It had been a little over a year since he went with Harm to the Landon House and saw that spunky brunette. He chuckled at the thought of her telling off that reporter. What he would give to see her temper flair. As humor quickly drifted away he sat and stared at nothing. Why is it so hard to let go? I have to let go! He threw his head back and closed his eyes.
"Yet I shall kill thee with much cherishing." Anna said to him.
"I miss you." Clay said.
"I've missed you, too." Clay heard Anna say.
"I had so many plans for us." Clay said.
"Clay, we can still have those plans." Anna said. "Open your eyes."
"How can we?" Clay asked as he opened his tear filled eyes.
"Ti amo con tutto il mio cuore." Anna said walking to the steps.
"But how, when, what is this?" Clay stumbled over his words.
"I see you still have your gift of speech, Mr. Webb." Anna teased as she cried.
"I have lost it. My mind is playing tricks on me." Clay said not believing his eyes, the dreams were never this real.
"Blue blood, it's no trick." Anna said.
"You died, I buried you." He said still unsure; was he talking to a ghost?
"I'll tell you everything, but first, please hold me." Anna said through her tears.
Pausing at the apparition in front of him, Clay just stared. Seeing a ghost was the last thing he needed.
"Clay, I'm real. It's me." Anna said walking towards him.
After another minute, he took Anna into his arms and kissed her, "It is you. You are real." He said when they broke their kiss.
"I've been here for a few days. I wasn't sure how to approach you. I didn't know what you would say." Anna whispered.
"I would probably start with, I love you." Clay said looking into her eyes and then he hugged her tightly.
"My heart's been empty, until this moment." Anna said
"Mine just started beating again. There's been no one since you." Clay said touching her face. "What happened?"
They sat down on the porch, Clay wrapped his arms around her and she leaned against his chest. Anna told Clay the whole story.
"Pierce knew the whole time?" Clay asked.
"I was going to tell him that I wasn't going to do it. That being with you was all I wanted." Anna began. "Then the Corelli's put the bomb in my apartment, I realized they had just made it easier for me to go undercover."
"But, the explosion, I saw your body." Clay said as he tightened his hold. "They found your ring."
"A Jane Doe. I figured out the trip wire was on the bathroom door. I called Pierce back, after he called you. I made the decision to go ahead with the plan. He was willing to just get me out of there safely. I said no."
"So what happened? Where did you go?" Clay asked.
"Before you arrived we made the switch. Pierce's assistant got me out of there and took me to a safe house. Pierce waited for you." Anna said. "If you didn't see it with your own eyes, I knew you would never believe it. I'm sorry."
"I can't believe this." Clay said with some anger.
"Please don't be angry. You never left my heart. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I hurt my family." Anna said.
"I'm not angry. I am in shock. Anna, why now? How can you be here?" Clay asked.
"I did it. I put them away, including two from Pierce's team." Anna said.
"Pierce's team?" Clay questioned.
"Yeah, two of his guys were providing information, that's how Salvatore found out I was going to work for the FBI." Anna said.
"You've been busy." Clay said kissing the bridge of her nose.
"The hardest part, aside from not being with you, was finding you." Anna said. "When I heard you were no longer in Washington; I went crazy, I made Pierce track you down."
"When do you have to leave?" Clay asked, suddenly realizing that was a real possibility.
"I don't. It's over. I told Pierce, I had to be with you." Anna said with a smile.
"What did he say?" Clay asked.
"Nothing, he handed me a plane ticket." Anna laughed. "Did ya think he would argue with me?" Anna stressed her accent.
"You always get your way." Clay smiled. "Does your family know?"
"By now I am sure Pierce has told them everything, including where I am." Anna replied. "Where I am staying."
"You're never getting away from me again." Clay said kissing her and slipping her ring on her finger.
"I don't ever plan on leaving." Anna replied. "Oh Clay?"
"Yes?" Clay replied.
"I love you." Anna said and tapped his nose. Clay picked her up and carried her into the house laughing. The made love all night long, when they did fall asleep, Anna felt safe in his arms and Clay felt complete.
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Author's Note: Did you really think I would kill her? Come on people….