Authors Notes : Why will no1 review the insanity??????? We need reviews to live!!!!!!! And even if this is a piece of crap, if we don't live then we shan't be around to write our normal stories. :-( Thanx to those 2 who did review MaryRose and whoever left the annoymous review. C they liked it! - wildcat
Trapped between a Rat and a Harper place
Harper...
Great, the rat. My list of people that want to kill me is getting longer and longer today. I grip my gun tighter and try to look round the corner without letting my head become a target I look at Tyr and mouth 'Now what?' but again we're back to the glaring. Grr!
Well two can play at that game Mister Will-to-power.
Gerentex...
Damn that speedy little runt. I had a good shot at him too. I hope that traitor of a Neitzschean doesn't have that big gun with him. Oh well I'll have to be careful not to get their blood on my zebra skinned blazer. Lets have a game of cat and mouse. No wait...
"Harper, really your behind the wall, I can see your hair. Mr Anasazi I can hear your chain mail, show yourselves."
Harper...
Ah Fuzzbuckets © !!!
Tyr...
Damnit! I stood up and faced him, drawing my gun and holding down by my side, finger on the trigger. I suddenly realised that I was still painted those ridiculous colours and cursed under my breath. I looked round for a deep hole to appear and swallow me up. As there appeared to be non, I chose to try to ignore it.
"What brings you here?"
Harper...
Okay so I should give Tyr some backup... Raising my weapon and trying not to laugh as I see Tyr again (I should really find a good hiding place!). Gerentex and his posse are standing in front of us weapons also raised, but staring wide eyed at Tyr.
"Plan?" I asked my Neitzschean companion. It's pointless talking to the rat as all we're gonna get is death threats.
Trance...
Dylan's (at first) comical glare stared to scare me so I decided to follow Harper and Tyr to make sure they didn't kill each other. The tears were flowing down my cheeks, I've never laughed so hard. I actually thought I heard Dylan growl! Tyr is rubbing off on everyone! He really is taking over the ship. Anyway, returning to the present, I turned and ran. Fast.
Harper...
Okay in about 30 seconds Gerentex and his playmates have managed to disarm us and is now leading us towards the command deck. How does he do that. I managed to mutter a "Have you been practising?"
Of course all I got was a punch in return and a figure if I keep up the sarcasm I'm gonna be as colourful as Tyr...
Tyr...
Grr Argh! Can this day get any worse? Probably not.
Harper...
Fuzz! Can this day get any worse? Probably not.
Gerentex…
WHAT!!! (Note from Axe Rat - Think the first episode). Can this day get any better? Probably…
Trance...
I could hear gun fire from down the corridor, but now it was silent. Mittens! They're fighting! They can never do anything without fighting! I speeded up to save Harper. (You learn after a while that it's always Harper.)
Gerentex….
"So monkey brain, so nice to see you again. I was wondering if we could have a discussion about a certain diary"
Harper…
"Drop dead rat face, and I mean that literary"
Gerentex…
"Ladies first my young monkey brain!" Ha! What a comical yet intelligent thing to say! I am so evil I hate my self. God! I AM EVIL! I think I should change my name or something… may be something like 'The Masked Avenger.' Wait ,I think that's taken? Anyway…
Mr. Anasazi, I see Disco has still to die in someone else's mind as well as my own. I think I'll moonwalk to get him in some kind of Neitzschean dance craze or something…
"Get going Primate!" Now push him to seal the deal. That's it Harper, whimper under the wrath of Gerentex!
Harper….
Ouch!!!! Walls are NOT meant to be bounced off! These primate comments are beginning to annoy me now…. Right, focus Harper, I need to get my genius brain into gear and work out how to get out of this mess. Right, think genius think…. This could take longer then I thought. Suddenly I see a purple tail out of the corner of my eye disappearing ahead of us and heading back up to command. Trance!!! My perfect purple personal pixie saviour! All I need to do now is distract Gerentex, shouldn't be too hard.
"Did you hear that?"
Gerentex…
"Hear what?" that was weird. I heard nothing. I get a shiver down my spine and realise that there was actually more members of the crew still on board.
"Captain Valentine! Where is Captain Valentine?" I see the smirk on Harpers face. I have more men in my group. I out number them three to one! They can't be thinking of trying to get away. Or are they? I think I should watch out for Dylan Hunt and Trance. She is so annoying, but helpful. She had her chance to join my crusade but no she had to turn all noble!
Back to the point at hand. I need to control these puppets of mine. But how?
"Monkey Boy, what exactly did you here?" This 'sound' was quite unnerving.
Harper….
I hold back my grin and force myself not to make eye contact with Tyr. If I know my Neitzschean he would have seen Trance too and know what I'm doing.
"That noise"
Gerentex….
"What noise?"
Harper…
"That noise!"
Gerentex….
"What kind of noise?"
Harper…
"That weird kind of noise"
Gerentex….
"What weird noise?"
Harper….
Okay time to add some panic….
"That 'engines going critical' kind of noise"
Gerentex…
"That noise you get when 'the ships going to go into a complete shut down' kind of noise?"
Harper…
Okay it's hard to keep my face straight.
"No the 'the ship doesn't have much time left before it blows and Harper better get down to the engine room to fix it' kind of noise."
This is almost too easy…
Gerentex….
Right, I need someone who Harper can easily knock out and slowly manage to gain back control of the ship without my knowing.
"You, Henchman #3, Take Mr Harper to the engine room and fix this problem. Then return to the bridge. We should already be there."
"Everyone else, follow me to the armoury. We need ammo!"
Harper…
Okay Henchman #3 is huge! And by huge I mean HUGE!!! Like a Tyr and Dylan mutation. Where does Gerentex get these people?
Time for one more lie. If I'm going get control back then I need Tyr to knock this guy out.
"I need Tyr, I need two command code to over ride it"
Gerentex….
Grr… How many more stops do we have to make! I already had to stop at the mess because no one had eaten and I had to cook. Using only a lettuce and several grams of mutton, and a rev roast beef. Even though it is high in fat and had to cook just right they still take advantage of me! Oh how the irony hurts! Wait is there any irony?
"Henchman #4, go with them, watch out for the other crew members, if it's purple, I want it alive, No Disintegrations!"
"As you wish." Rumbled Henchman #4. Of they went.
"Gentlemen, to the Bridge!"
(A/N: From Space Surfer and Axe Rat - Okay so we got kinda carried away with our parts…sorry, but hoped you liked it! J )
Trapped between a Rat and a Harper place
Harper...
Great, the rat. My list of people that want to kill me is getting longer and longer today. I grip my gun tighter and try to look round the corner without letting my head become a target I look at Tyr and mouth 'Now what?' but again we're back to the glaring. Grr!
Well two can play at that game Mister Will-to-power.
Gerentex...
Damn that speedy little runt. I had a good shot at him too. I hope that traitor of a Neitzschean doesn't have that big gun with him. Oh well I'll have to be careful not to get their blood on my zebra skinned blazer. Lets have a game of cat and mouse. No wait...
"Harper, really your behind the wall, I can see your hair. Mr Anasazi I can hear your chain mail, show yourselves."
Harper...
Ah Fuzzbuckets © !!!
Tyr...
Damnit! I stood up and faced him, drawing my gun and holding down by my side, finger on the trigger. I suddenly realised that I was still painted those ridiculous colours and cursed under my breath. I looked round for a deep hole to appear and swallow me up. As there appeared to be non, I chose to try to ignore it.
"What brings you here?"
Harper...
Okay so I should give Tyr some backup... Raising my weapon and trying not to laugh as I see Tyr again (I should really find a good hiding place!). Gerentex and his posse are standing in front of us weapons also raised, but staring wide eyed at Tyr.
"Plan?" I asked my Neitzschean companion. It's pointless talking to the rat as all we're gonna get is death threats.
Trance...
Dylan's (at first) comical glare stared to scare me so I decided to follow Harper and Tyr to make sure they didn't kill each other. The tears were flowing down my cheeks, I've never laughed so hard. I actually thought I heard Dylan growl! Tyr is rubbing off on everyone! He really is taking over the ship. Anyway, returning to the present, I turned and ran. Fast.
Harper...
Okay in about 30 seconds Gerentex and his playmates have managed to disarm us and is now leading us towards the command deck. How does he do that. I managed to mutter a "Have you been practising?"
Of course all I got was a punch in return and a figure if I keep up the sarcasm I'm gonna be as colourful as Tyr...
Tyr...
Grr Argh! Can this day get any worse? Probably not.
Harper...
Fuzz! Can this day get any worse? Probably not.
Gerentex…
WHAT!!! (Note from Axe Rat - Think the first episode). Can this day get any better? Probably…
Trance...
I could hear gun fire from down the corridor, but now it was silent. Mittens! They're fighting! They can never do anything without fighting! I speeded up to save Harper. (You learn after a while that it's always Harper.)
Gerentex….
"So monkey brain, so nice to see you again. I was wondering if we could have a discussion about a certain diary"
Harper…
"Drop dead rat face, and I mean that literary"
Gerentex…
"Ladies first my young monkey brain!" Ha! What a comical yet intelligent thing to say! I am so evil I hate my self. God! I AM EVIL! I think I should change my name or something… may be something like 'The Masked Avenger.' Wait ,I think that's taken? Anyway…
Mr. Anasazi, I see Disco has still to die in someone else's mind as well as my own. I think I'll moonwalk to get him in some kind of Neitzschean dance craze or something…
"Get going Primate!" Now push him to seal the deal. That's it Harper, whimper under the wrath of Gerentex!
Harper….
Ouch!!!! Walls are NOT meant to be bounced off! These primate comments are beginning to annoy me now…. Right, focus Harper, I need to get my genius brain into gear and work out how to get out of this mess. Right, think genius think…. This could take longer then I thought. Suddenly I see a purple tail out of the corner of my eye disappearing ahead of us and heading back up to command. Trance!!! My perfect purple personal pixie saviour! All I need to do now is distract Gerentex, shouldn't be too hard.
"Did you hear that?"
Gerentex…
"Hear what?" that was weird. I heard nothing. I get a shiver down my spine and realise that there was actually more members of the crew still on board.
"Captain Valentine! Where is Captain Valentine?" I see the smirk on Harpers face. I have more men in my group. I out number them three to one! They can't be thinking of trying to get away. Or are they? I think I should watch out for Dylan Hunt and Trance. She is so annoying, but helpful. She had her chance to join my crusade but no she had to turn all noble!
Back to the point at hand. I need to control these puppets of mine. But how?
"Monkey Boy, what exactly did you here?" This 'sound' was quite unnerving.
Harper….
I hold back my grin and force myself not to make eye contact with Tyr. If I know my Neitzschean he would have seen Trance too and know what I'm doing.
"That noise"
Gerentex….
"What noise?"
Harper…
"That noise!"
Gerentex….
"What kind of noise?"
Harper…
"That weird kind of noise"
Gerentex….
"What weird noise?"
Harper….
Okay time to add some panic….
"That 'engines going critical' kind of noise"
Gerentex…
"That noise you get when 'the ships going to go into a complete shut down' kind of noise?"
Harper…
Okay it's hard to keep my face straight.
"No the 'the ship doesn't have much time left before it blows and Harper better get down to the engine room to fix it' kind of noise."
This is almost too easy…
Gerentex….
Right, I need someone who Harper can easily knock out and slowly manage to gain back control of the ship without my knowing.
"You, Henchman #3, Take Mr Harper to the engine room and fix this problem. Then return to the bridge. We should already be there."
"Everyone else, follow me to the armoury. We need ammo!"
Harper…
Okay Henchman #3 is huge! And by huge I mean HUGE!!! Like a Tyr and Dylan mutation. Where does Gerentex get these people?
Time for one more lie. If I'm going get control back then I need Tyr to knock this guy out.
"I need Tyr, I need two command code to over ride it"
Gerentex….
Grr… How many more stops do we have to make! I already had to stop at the mess because no one had eaten and I had to cook. Using only a lettuce and several grams of mutton, and a rev roast beef. Even though it is high in fat and had to cook just right they still take advantage of me! Oh how the irony hurts! Wait is there any irony?
"Henchman #4, go with them, watch out for the other crew members, if it's purple, I want it alive, No Disintegrations!"
"As you wish." Rumbled Henchman #4. Of they went.
"Gentlemen, to the Bridge!"
(A/N: From Space Surfer and Axe Rat - Okay so we got kinda carried away with our parts…sorry, but hoped you liked it! J )