"So, what are you showing me now?" asked Anakin with sarcasm in his voice
when his grandfather appeared to him again.
"I think we should talk, Anakin. About you, that is."
"What about me?" he wasn't about to give in easily.
"Tell me. What's your life like?"
"You must know. Aren't you one with the Force now?"
"Yes, I am. But I want to listen to you. Tell me what it is like to live with your parents, your brother and sister. Your friends. Anything you want."
Anakin sighed. His grandfather wouldn't give up on the subject. Now he knew where his mother had got her stubborn streak. "Do you really wanna talk about it?"
"Sure I do." And with a nod, he added "Go ahead."
"Well, for the first few years of my life I was secretly raised on a planet by my mother's confidante Winter. She practically raised me, Jacen and Jaina all by herself. My mom and dad would visit us often but not nearly enough. It had to be like this because the New Republic wasn't strong enough and had yet many enemies who knew we could be used against my mother, who is a key figure in Galactic politics. Therefore, we were hidden from public view. As you might imagine, I missed my parents terribly and till today we barely see each other because they're always busy trying to save the Galaxy from one or other threat." Here he paused as if collecting his thoughts "But soon I became old enough to understand why they had to do that. Then, we all went to live in Coruscant and when Jacen and Jaina turned 14, they went to uncle Luke's academy in Yavin 4 and I stayed all by myself with my parents. And threepio, of course" he smiled. "I missed them a lot, you know. I missed Jacen's silly jokes. I missed Jaina's witty remarks. I mostly kept to myself. I don't know, that's how I am. And when they'd come back home on vacations, they'd tell all those stories and adventures they had gone through. I longed so much to be with them. But we were never the same again after they left you know. Starting from the fact that they are twins and therefore, they're strongly bonded somehow. As much as I'm a part of the family, I always felt detached." He sighed. "And then, when it was my turn, I went to the Academy as well. I met people there. Tahiri." His eyes got lost for a few moments.
"And who's Tahiri?" asked Ani with a smile on his face.
That made Anakin come out of his reverie and blush as he answered "She's my best friend." He paused. "I miss her too."
"Best friend, uh?" teased Ani.
"Yes." Answered Anakin with annoyance "Anyway, it was when I got to the academy that my name really started bothering me. You-" He pointed accusingly at his grandfather "Started bothering me."
"What happened?"
"I don't know how it really started. Of course my mom had told me where I got my name from. Of course she told me she wanted to honour the good man you once were. I suspect she wanted to redeem herself too for all those years she spent hating you." He waited for his grandfather to have some reaction but as none came he continued "But what she didn't understand and I think she never expected was that people started expecting things from me too, you know. As if I had to redeem myself for your failures. My brother and sister, they have a burden to carry all right, because they are the son and daughter of two of the greatest heroes of the Galaxy but me? Not only that but everybody started looking at me as if expecting me to fail and fall to the Dark Side at any moment. And I started looking at myself as if it'd eventually happen to me too."
"Have you ever talked to anybody about this? Your uncle, for instance."
"Not really. But I suspect he knows how I feel. However it's not his style to start a conversation when the person concerned is not prepared to start it by herself. I think we're very much alike, uncle Luke and I. And that's another problem. I looked up at him since as far as I can remember. But I'm tired of that. I want to create an identity for myself. I don't wanna be Anakin Solo, son of Chief of State and Princess Leia Organa Solo and rebellion hero Han Solo. I don't wanna be Anakin Solo, nephew of the greatest Jedi of all times Master Luke Skywalker. I don't wanna be Anakin Solo, brother of the great Jedi Knight Jacen Solo and great Jedi Knight and pilot Lt. Jaina Solo. And most of all, I don't wanna be the grandson of Darth Vader, the most feared Sith Lord in the Galaxy."
"Then, who do you wanna be, Anakin?"
"I...I don't know. Can I change my name?" said Anakin with sadness and defeat in his voice.
Ani laughed softly. "I don't think your mother would like that very much."
"My mother. I was so angry at her for making me feel like this. For making me carry this burden. But after everything I've seen, it's confusing. And I got so angry at my dad too because of his blaming me for Chewie's death. I know it's my fault but-"
"As I see it, Anakin, it wasn't your fault. And your father's not blaming you. He's just grieving."
"That's not how I felt." Anakin said with bitterness.
"Anyway, by this time, he must be feeling terrible for making you feel this way."
"I don't know." He paused for a few moments and changed subject "So, now I said enough, don't you think? I want to see more. What happened? How did my dad and uncle Luke rescued my mom?"
"Believe me, Anakin" Ani said as the ship gave place to another environment once more "there's much yet for you to see."
"I think we should talk, Anakin. About you, that is."
"What about me?" he wasn't about to give in easily.
"Tell me. What's your life like?"
"You must know. Aren't you one with the Force now?"
"Yes, I am. But I want to listen to you. Tell me what it is like to live with your parents, your brother and sister. Your friends. Anything you want."
Anakin sighed. His grandfather wouldn't give up on the subject. Now he knew where his mother had got her stubborn streak. "Do you really wanna talk about it?"
"Sure I do." And with a nod, he added "Go ahead."
"Well, for the first few years of my life I was secretly raised on a planet by my mother's confidante Winter. She practically raised me, Jacen and Jaina all by herself. My mom and dad would visit us often but not nearly enough. It had to be like this because the New Republic wasn't strong enough and had yet many enemies who knew we could be used against my mother, who is a key figure in Galactic politics. Therefore, we were hidden from public view. As you might imagine, I missed my parents terribly and till today we barely see each other because they're always busy trying to save the Galaxy from one or other threat." Here he paused as if collecting his thoughts "But soon I became old enough to understand why they had to do that. Then, we all went to live in Coruscant and when Jacen and Jaina turned 14, they went to uncle Luke's academy in Yavin 4 and I stayed all by myself with my parents. And threepio, of course" he smiled. "I missed them a lot, you know. I missed Jacen's silly jokes. I missed Jaina's witty remarks. I mostly kept to myself. I don't know, that's how I am. And when they'd come back home on vacations, they'd tell all those stories and adventures they had gone through. I longed so much to be with them. But we were never the same again after they left you know. Starting from the fact that they are twins and therefore, they're strongly bonded somehow. As much as I'm a part of the family, I always felt detached." He sighed. "And then, when it was my turn, I went to the Academy as well. I met people there. Tahiri." His eyes got lost for a few moments.
"And who's Tahiri?" asked Ani with a smile on his face.
That made Anakin come out of his reverie and blush as he answered "She's my best friend." He paused. "I miss her too."
"Best friend, uh?" teased Ani.
"Yes." Answered Anakin with annoyance "Anyway, it was when I got to the academy that my name really started bothering me. You-" He pointed accusingly at his grandfather "Started bothering me."
"What happened?"
"I don't know how it really started. Of course my mom had told me where I got my name from. Of course she told me she wanted to honour the good man you once were. I suspect she wanted to redeem herself too for all those years she spent hating you." He waited for his grandfather to have some reaction but as none came he continued "But what she didn't understand and I think she never expected was that people started expecting things from me too, you know. As if I had to redeem myself for your failures. My brother and sister, they have a burden to carry all right, because they are the son and daughter of two of the greatest heroes of the Galaxy but me? Not only that but everybody started looking at me as if expecting me to fail and fall to the Dark Side at any moment. And I started looking at myself as if it'd eventually happen to me too."
"Have you ever talked to anybody about this? Your uncle, for instance."
"Not really. But I suspect he knows how I feel. However it's not his style to start a conversation when the person concerned is not prepared to start it by herself. I think we're very much alike, uncle Luke and I. And that's another problem. I looked up at him since as far as I can remember. But I'm tired of that. I want to create an identity for myself. I don't wanna be Anakin Solo, son of Chief of State and Princess Leia Organa Solo and rebellion hero Han Solo. I don't wanna be Anakin Solo, nephew of the greatest Jedi of all times Master Luke Skywalker. I don't wanna be Anakin Solo, brother of the great Jedi Knight Jacen Solo and great Jedi Knight and pilot Lt. Jaina Solo. And most of all, I don't wanna be the grandson of Darth Vader, the most feared Sith Lord in the Galaxy."
"Then, who do you wanna be, Anakin?"
"I...I don't know. Can I change my name?" said Anakin with sadness and defeat in his voice.
Ani laughed softly. "I don't think your mother would like that very much."
"My mother. I was so angry at her for making me feel like this. For making me carry this burden. But after everything I've seen, it's confusing. And I got so angry at my dad too because of his blaming me for Chewie's death. I know it's my fault but-"
"As I see it, Anakin, it wasn't your fault. And your father's not blaming you. He's just grieving."
"That's not how I felt." Anakin said with bitterness.
"Anyway, by this time, he must be feeling terrible for making you feel this way."
"I don't know." He paused for a few moments and changed subject "So, now I said enough, don't you think? I want to see more. What happened? How did my dad and uncle Luke rescued my mom?"
"Believe me, Anakin" Ani said as the ship gave place to another environment once more "there's much yet for you to see."