*We've been through a lot together but I had never seen Luke like this. So
empty. So disappointed. When I finally had him in my arms inside the
Falcon, I almost cried for him. I could feel his disappointment. His
hollowness. His eyes were so shocked, almost devoid of life. At that moment
I couldn't care less if we would leave that blasted city alive. That day, I
had lost the love of my life (whom I have FINALLY accepted after so many
months of denial) and Luke... Lost his innocence. What happened during his
fight with Vader? I don't think I'll ever know. I feel he will refuse to
talk about it for a long time. But the light in his eyes... They're gone...
It's almost scary. Where's that farmboy and rebel hero? My best friend? I
hope he's in there somewhere. I hope he's not lost to me, to us.
I wonder why Vader is so obsessed with him. Yes, obsessive. That's the only explanation for what happened.
Which reminds me that before this whole situation happened, I had a dream. It was strange because I hadn't dreamt of her for so long... Since I was no more than a child, actually. I dreamt of the day my mother died. The strange thing is, I don't remember that clearly. I remember the sadness... I remember my father Bail's hands on my shoulder, gripping them tightly. I remember my resolve of not crying weakening. And I remember her words as well, before she died. She told me never to lose hope, never to give up, and to always believe that justice would prevail... But the details of the dream... They're always beyond my reach.
I have to find my strength again. It's been difficult. With Han gone.... And we had finally managed to put our pride aside and share our feelings for each other! How stupid I am! Wasting all this time arguing against my own heart! And scarred... Yes, I admit it, I was terrified of my feelings for him. Yet, I wouldn't want it to have happened any other way. Still... I've lost him. But enough with self-pity, right? If Han read this, he'd have surely made one of his sarcastic remarks by now and have given me one of his grins.
I hope Lando and Chewie will find him. Deep down, I know they will. I'm sure of it.
I'll have to go and attend to Luke now. He's almost completely recovered by his injuries but I like being there for him. It keeps my mind busy.I also suspect he doesn't mind my being around as well. *
Anakin was about to lose his patience. His grandfather had told him to come to this planet, on which he didn't feel comfortable at all and then he just disappeared. It had been almost two days now. He had wandered around the ruins, explored the place and found some amazing things but he didn't want to go far because he shouldn't stay away from his ship. He knew impatience was of the Dark Side and all but, well, what was he waiting for?
At least he had his mother's journal. Would Ani show to him that day when his father was frozen in carbonite? Would he show his fight with uncle Luke? He wondered how hard seeing all those things again might be for his grandfather.
He almost wished for Ani's return. If he weren't so patronising... He knew what he had to learn now as he knew before. That anger, fear and hate were of the dark side but that didn't make things easier.
Ok... he admitted that that thought was downright stupid. His grandfather wouldn't go through all that trouble just to teach him something he already knew. So, it must be something much bigger than that, something he still hadn't seen. All right. He'd sit and wait. As if he had any other choice.
I wonder why Vader is so obsessed with him. Yes, obsessive. That's the only explanation for what happened.
Which reminds me that before this whole situation happened, I had a dream. It was strange because I hadn't dreamt of her for so long... Since I was no more than a child, actually. I dreamt of the day my mother died. The strange thing is, I don't remember that clearly. I remember the sadness... I remember my father Bail's hands on my shoulder, gripping them tightly. I remember my resolve of not crying weakening. And I remember her words as well, before she died. She told me never to lose hope, never to give up, and to always believe that justice would prevail... But the details of the dream... They're always beyond my reach.
I have to find my strength again. It's been difficult. With Han gone.... And we had finally managed to put our pride aside and share our feelings for each other! How stupid I am! Wasting all this time arguing against my own heart! And scarred... Yes, I admit it, I was terrified of my feelings for him. Yet, I wouldn't want it to have happened any other way. Still... I've lost him. But enough with self-pity, right? If Han read this, he'd have surely made one of his sarcastic remarks by now and have given me one of his grins.
I hope Lando and Chewie will find him. Deep down, I know they will. I'm sure of it.
I'll have to go and attend to Luke now. He's almost completely recovered by his injuries but I like being there for him. It keeps my mind busy.I also suspect he doesn't mind my being around as well. *
Anakin was about to lose his patience. His grandfather had told him to come to this planet, on which he didn't feel comfortable at all and then he just disappeared. It had been almost two days now. He had wandered around the ruins, explored the place and found some amazing things but he didn't want to go far because he shouldn't stay away from his ship. He knew impatience was of the Dark Side and all but, well, what was he waiting for?
At least he had his mother's journal. Would Ani show to him that day when his father was frozen in carbonite? Would he show his fight with uncle Luke? He wondered how hard seeing all those things again might be for his grandfather.
He almost wished for Ani's return. If he weren't so patronising... He knew what he had to learn now as he knew before. That anger, fear and hate were of the dark side but that didn't make things easier.
Ok... he admitted that that thought was downright stupid. His grandfather wouldn't go through all that trouble just to teach him something he already knew. So, it must be something much bigger than that, something he still hadn't seen. All right. He'd sit and wait. As if he had any other choice.