A belated disclaimer: The arnie fanclub does not own the characters these fluffy fellas are based on. Please don't hurt us, Lucasfilm!
James goes back to O-Bendy-Dingo and together they go to the spaceport to search for a pilot to take them to POO. In a historical pub called 'The Merry Toad' they find one.
Han Llama: Hi. I'm Han Llama. Ciabatta here tells me you need a pilot.
James Pond: That's right. Its imperative we go to POO.
Han Llama: Go to POO. I really think that's the kind of thing your parents should be teaching you, not me.
James Pond: No, the organisation POO. On Toilet seat.
Han Llama: Hey kid I was only joking.
Ciabatta: HUUUUUUUUURR!
Han Llama: What's that?
Ciabatta: HUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRR!
Han Llama: Ah. I see. My esteemed co-pilot says we should make tracks. Meet me at docking bay 94 in an hour.
James Pond: Okay!
O-Bendy-Dingo: What about the money?
Han Llama: We'll discuss that later, old dingo.
O-Bendy-Dingo: While we're waiting, James, it's time for me to tell you something. Do you know anything about your father?
James Pond: I heard he was the best pilot in the whole galaxy.
O-Bendy-Dingo: Darn tootin'! However, he was also an intergalactic jelly spy! He was murdered by Darth Carp!
James Pond: Darth Carp, I've never heard of him, my aunt and uncle said papa died in a scooter accident.
O-Bendy-Dingo: Well, you could say that... anyway, you must follow in your father's footsteps. You too must become a Jelly spy!
James Pond: And die on a scooter.
O-Bendy-Dingo: No, no, idiot boy! He did not die on a scooter! You think jelly spies use vehicles like that?
James Pond: Well what are they supposed to use?
O-Bendy-Dingo: Haven't you heard of a jelly-mobile? It's a type of tricycle.
James Pond: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!
O-Bendy-Dingo: Its time we met that pilot!
Meanwhile.
Han Llama: I'm telling you, Martha, I'll have the money soon!
Martha Focker: Woof Woof bow-wow grrrrrrrrr.
*Subtitles* You'd better, Llama. I don't take kindly to llamas that owe me money, you know!
Han Llama: I know Martha, and that's why I'll get it to you!
On the way out....
Han Llama: Martha Fockers got a price on my tail.
Ciabatta: HUUUUUUR!
Han Llama: Yeah, I know. Come on, lets get to the Green Falcon.
On the way to the dock.
James Pond: Oh no Starship Gerbils! We'll never get past them!
O-Bendy-Dingo: Don't worry.
Gerbil 1: Hey stop right there!
O-Bendy-Dingo waves his tail.
O-Bendy-Dingo: That's okay. Everything is in order.
Gerbil 1: Everything is in ord-er.
O-Bendy-Dingo: You'll get us some orange sher-bert.
Gerbil 1: I'll get you some orange sher-bert.
James Pond: Wow! How did you do that?
O-Bendy-Dingo: It's an ancient jelly mind trick.
James Pond: Can you teach me? I'd love some lemon sherbet.
O-Bendy-Dingo: Of course! You must become a jelly spy and help defeat the evil Dr Chipmunk!
HL: Come on, it's time to go.
OB: Run! They've spotted us! James, do you have the flea?
JP: He hopped ahead, he's already here.
Starship Gerbil - Wait! I've brought you your orange sher-bert!
OB: Oh, thanks.
SG2: Halt!
HL: Run, you fools! Ciaby, start up the engines!
C: HUUUUUUU
HL: Let's get this show on the road. Ciaby, are we ready?
C: HUUUUUURRR
HL: Great. Hurry up, you old dingo!
They get into the Green Falcon and take off, avoiding the Starship Gerbils that pour into the square.
JP: Can you fly this thing? Wait - what the hell is that?
HL: Imperial K-wings, watch out, we're in for a rocky ride.
A plane spins straight at them, a gerbil in breathing apparatus at the wheel.
Gerbil - EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe....
HL: Holy Crap!
Han Llama closely avoids the gerbil by swerving upwards.
JP:I've never seen anything like that before!
HL: kamikaze gerbils, don't let their fluffy faces fool you kid, they can come out of anywhere, and they stop for nothing. Ciaby, prepare for lightspeed!
ZOOOM!
On board the dreaded Death Car
Captain Haddock - for the last time princess Yak, where are the plans?
PY: I will not hand them over!
Darth Carp approaches.
DC: General! Has she talked?
Gen: No sir. We can't get anything out of her.
DC: send her to the cell block. She will be persuaded... or she will soon see the full extent of damage this Death Car can do!
PY: what do you mean?
DC: we shall test this death car, and your home planet of Toilet Seat will be the first.
PY: you wouldn't!
DC: you will talk!
The Princess spits at his mask.
DC: ugh, Yak spit.
Darth Carp has removed Princess Yak from her cell and brought her to the bridge with the view of Toilet Seat.
DC: tell us where the rebel base is, or your planet gets it!
PY: Ok, I'll tell you. It's on Simba.
DC: Simba? Very well. General, start up the engines.
PY: what? But you said...
DC: I lied. Hahahahahaaaaa
The death car revs. Princess yak watches helplessly as the Death Car speeds towards Toilet Seat. It is destroyed with one mighty blow. The cabin shakes.
DC: General! Status report!
Gen: uh, sir, we misfired slightly. I'm afraid our bumper is dentedurgharghle...
He is magically strangled by Darth Carp's mystical Jelly power. He dies as P.Y. looks on, horrified.
Stay tuned to follow our plucky heroes into part 3!