Ack! I skimmed over Rebel Stand again and then looked at my first chapter. So many mistakes! I fixed some of the mess-ups, but I'm sure there are more. Now that I've finished Rebel Stand, and returned it to the library, I don't have anywhere to check for information! I'm reading Traitor right now but it's all about Jacen.
This story is moving really slowly, so don't expect frequent updates. I could really use some suggestions with the plot and the pairings. Would you rather see Jaina end up with Kyp or Jag? Or should Zekk come out of nowhere and sweep her away? Any feedback is appreciated.
Just to let you know, this chapter is really short and pretty sappy. *wince* Sorry.
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When Jaina had first met Jag, she felt a sense of anticipation and fear. The leader of the Chiss squadron had beaten her in every simulation run but she had never even seen his face...until now.
Jag was undeniably attractive, in a stern, old-style military way. His piercing eyes and the scar stretched across his impassive face, made her think of the old holos of Imperial soldiers, young, handsome, and completely under control. Since the first moment she saw Jagged Fel, and he stopped to speak with her, before greeting important political leaders, Jaina began to stop thinking about her Jedi admirers and start dreaming about a certain grim-faced, but talented, young pilot.
Leaning against the wall, Jaina unwrapped a rations pack and nibbled at the flavorless snack. Jag had left General Antilles' office, but now he was speaking with his former second-in-command, a Chiss female named Shawnkyr. Jaina knew what they were discussing. Swallowing the ration bar, despite the nausea in her stomach, she closed her eyes and tried not to think about it.
Jag wouldn't leave; he's fighting with us now, she told herself. Sometimes Jaina wondered why she lied to herself. Wasn't it better just to expect the worst? Then whatever happened, she wouldn't be disappointed.
Jag is going to leave, she tried. It didn't work. Her mind refused to accept such a horrendous, impossible idea. If Jag left her alone here, what would she do?
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In the hallway, Kyp found Jaina leaning against the wall, staring mournfully at the remains of a ration bar wrapper. She creased it idly between her fingers, the silvery surface reflecting bits of light back to her unhappy face. Strands of brown hair, fallen from her braid, dangled before her face, stuck to the corners of her mouth. Young, lonely goddess…
She felt his presence and looked up, a sign of tears in her brown eyes. Kyp felt a sudden numbing emptiness as his mind scrambled for words. But then the precise click of military boots sounded in the silent hall and Kyp sensed the lighting of a joy in Jaina's being, the sharp yearning and anticipation for a single person.
Jagged Fel entered from the east end of the hall, and Jaina Solo went to meet him.
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"She's leaving," Jag told Jaina as they walked up the corridor. It took Jaina a moment to process the meaning of his statement, as she had been expecting something like, "I'm leaving," or "I can't leave you!" Well, maybe Jag wouldn't be quite that dramatic, but; all the same, it struck her as disconcerting.
"Who's leaving?"
"Shawnkyr. She's taking off to report to the Baron after we leave Borleias."
"Oh." Jaina felt a little numb and wondered distantly where her joyful excitement had gone. He didn't sound very happy, but did Jag ever sound happy?
He stopped and turned to look at her. "But if she dies, I must return in her place."
Watching him, Jaina tried to smile. "I guess I'll just have to make sure she doesn't see much combat!"
He twisted his mouth and looked down. "You could try."
"She doesn't like you staying here, does she?" Jaina murmured cautiously.
"Shawnkyr believes we are better off defending our own territories, but she understands there are reasons to continue observing the Yuuzhan Vong." He ran a finger down the length of his scar. "She also maintains the idea that my relationship with you is clouding my judgment."
Unable form a reply, Jaina squinted down at her hands. Did Jag regret being with her? Did he feel the urge to return to his home? Perhaps she was holding him back.
"Do you want to go back?" she asked at last.
But his eyes didn't focus on her anymore; Jag watched a repair droid weld shiny, new plating onto the shell of an A-Wing, below them on the docking bay. Jaina realized then that she had never even spoken. Fear tangled painfully in her chest, burned under her eyelids, and kept the dangerous words from leaving her mouth.
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Han and Leia returned from their mission to Vannix full of information and plans concerning the recent developments in the galaxy. Jaina didn't see her parents until 24 hours after they arrived, but she tried to remain civil with her mother. Tactfully enough, Leia didn't mention anything concerning Jag or the squadron. On Vannix she had manipulated an election and been thrown in jail. Through yet another miraculous adventure, Han and Leia had escaped their prison, outwitted their pursuers and flown the Millennium Falcon out in a blaze of glory.
Smiling and nodding, and trying to look concerned, Jaina thought disrespectful thoughts to herself and wondered if her parents would ever stop saving the universe. Even when they were eighty or ninety, Han and Leia would still be fighting for freedom and justice.
What is wrong with you? she asked herself. This is your mom and dad! They are risking their lives for the New Republic, for the fate of the galaxy, and they could have been killed!
Reality came then, sharp and hurtful. Anakin. Chewbacca. Heroes were not immune to death. Jaina realized this, despite her nonchalance about the war. Fighting was a way of life for her now, and she sometimes forgot about the consequences.
Unexpectedly, Jaina reached out and hugged her mother, startling Leia into a surprised smile.
"What was that for?" she asked, a little breathlessly.
Jaina clenched her eyes shut. "Um, well, I'm glad just you're okay…Mom."
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Ick. That was probably the worst chapter I've written in a long time.
One reason I'm afraid to write Star Wars stuff is that it's too complicated, and I'm bound to make mistakes.
*starts to cry* I have no idea where this freakin' story is going!