Lower Ground

~Monique~

I hate days like this. When it rains. Like the sky is sobbing its eyes out and the world just looks sympathetic, all gray and dull. Which was sort of how I felt in the inside. Gray and Dull. I wasn't surprised. I had days like this. Of unhappiness. The therapist and doctors said that it was not depression, I wasn't that bad but that I felt the need to act out. Maybe they are right. Maybe I'm tired of being invisible but then again like everything else, it has its perks. Invisibility keeps people from seeing the real you and it keeps them from disliking you which in turn prevents them from hurting you. I had learned all this. Eventually they find you out. Those searching eyes, always trying to pry into your business. You're never good enough for them so they always try to fix you. God, can't they leave me alone. Don't they see I'm beyond fixing. Look at you mom, all cozy in the front seat with you damned Oldies music that died a long time ago. Driving me away, literally, to Mt. Horizon school for terminally messed up kids. You tried, I'm sorry it didn't work. The therapy, the doctors, the crying, the screaming, of course none of it worked because you don't know how. No one does. So here I am, in the backseat of the car being driven to "the last resort". Why? Are they going to tell you how your perfect little angel became such a "problem." I'm the only one that knows and I'll never tell.

"We're here, darling." My mother interrupted my thoughts with her cheerful antics. I cringed at the thought of arriving and at the endearment. She saw in the rearview mirror and her smile faded. She turned around in her seat and just stared at me. I looked back, she couldn't scare me into guilt again, I wouldn't let her. "It won't be that bad. I promise. They….they can help you here. I've done all I can.

I lifted the corner of my mouth, which could be classified as a smile. "Don't worry, mom. I don't blame you." I grabbed my bag and opened the car door, ignoring the look of complete shock on her face. The school stood, not as foreboding as I thought. It was actually kind of nice but I would never admit that, this place and its people were the enemy. It was surrounded by woods and I could make out a lake and dock on the other side. Students milled around, not many, it was small. No one stopped to look at me for which I was grateful. I noticed a tall man and a petite pretty blonde woman striding towards me. I looked back as my mother unloading my bags and placed them in a neat row beside me. Of course, everything always had to be orderly and concrete for her. They reached me.

"Monique Payton, we've been awaiting you. My name is Peter Scarbrough, I am the principal of Horizon and this," He said gesturing to the blonde woman who in turn gave a smile. "Is Sophie. She's the girls counselor for Cliffhangers, which is the group you'll be in."

At seeing them my mother came and stood beside me. "I'm Mrs. Payton." They did the adult ritual of shaking hands. Then Peter turned to me.

"You can finish saying good bye to your mother. Then Sophie will take you to the girls dorm and to meet the other Cliffhangers."

                I nodded and they picked up my bags. My mother engulfed me in a sentimental hug and I surprised myself by hugging her back. When we pulled away she stared into my face and I saw that she had the same light hazel eyes and mocha skin that I did.

"I'm going to miss you." She said tearfully.

"Even after all that happened?"

"No matter what you do your still my little girl." She looked at me once more, kissed my cheek and then walked ridgidly to the car, she never looked back, and drove off.

"Right." I said as an after thought and followed Sophie who was leading me to my dorm.

It wasn't as bad as I thought and it was pretty spacious. I noticed the beds of other girls but I didn't bother asking about them. Eventually I would meet them, why rush it. I put my stuff down and had enough time to quickly brush my hair in the mirror before Peter came.

"I'd like you to meet some of the Cliffhangers, a few at a time. I think its less overwhelming for your first day."

"Sure." He led the way and I followed. I could hear piano music as we got closer and a sharp pang made me stop in my tracks. It sounded just like- but of course I knew it wasn't. I had burned that bridge a long time ago but some things still triggered my memory. I shook my head as if to clear my mind and stopped just behind Peter as we reached the door-way. I couldn't see anything so I just wanted for him to move.

"Hey don't you have kitchen duty, but wait, first I'd like you to meet a new Cliff Hanger. Her name is-…" Peter stepped aside and I walked in.

                "Mo?"

                My heart started to race and my breathing sped up, all I could do was what I knew how to do best. Run.

~Scott~

                I couldn't believe it. Never in a million years. How was the biggest question on my mind but all I could do was sit and watch her run. It was probably the first time in our lives that I hadn't chased her, this time, I just couldn't. My legs, my voice, my body didn't work. Peter stared at me as if I had grown a third head.

                "What was that?" He asked. I knew I had a heck of a lot of explaining to do.

                "It's a long story."

                He looked at me incredulously. "I have a lot of time. Spill."

                "I really don't want to talk about it," He raised an eyebrow. I knew enough not to test it. "But since you asked."

                I stood up and began to pace the room. "Mo," I started hesitantly. Just saying her name evoked a thousand memories and thoughts. Some of which I had thought I buried a long time ago. "She was my best friend. We grew up together. Her father is also an attorney and our parents were friends before the divorce. Dinner parties, boating trips, the usual stuff rich people do. She's one of the only people that I can't remember not knowing. She and I used to joke about her being brother and sister since we are so different and not just that she's black. Where I a lacked she made up for and where she was missing I could make the difference. We were inseparable. Anytime you saw me, Monique wasn't far behind. She was captain of the cheerleading squad, I was the star football player, we had everything. Then-…"

                I stopped and took a deep breath before I continued. "Then the divorce happened.  I moved with my dad and we weren't neighbors anymore. That didn't change things much though. What changed things was my drug use and the whole Elaine thing. I withdrew into myself. I blocked everyone out, including her. At first she tried to help me but eventually…it just got to hard and she stopped trying. I don't blame her. I would have stopped a long time ago. After that things were never the same and, I don't know. It just ended. No warning, just like that."

                Peter nodded his head and sat down in a near by chair. I was suddenly very tired so I did the same.

                "Information about a student is usually confidential but I think you might be important in helping her. Monique is here because of anorexia for which she has been hospitalized twice and for other sensitive issues-…"

                I stood up violently, knocking over the chair. "Stop! Don't tell me anymore. I don't want to hear it from you. I can't help her…I could never help her. I just need to hear it from her…" With that I stormed out of the room and out the door. I ran right smack into Shelby, my girlfriend.

                "Hey Cowboy, where you off too in such a hurry." She said, wrapping her arms around my waist. I tried to smile, something, but my mind was reeling. She noticed something was wrong and let go.

                "Is something wrong, Scott?"

                "No, not yet. But I have a feeling things won't stay that way."

                "What are you talking about?"

                "I'll explain later. Right now I have someone I need to talk too." I said and I began to walk toward the woods.