Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to JK Rowling and her publishers; crazy plot and unrecognizable characters are mine.

A/N:  This started out as a cookie series in a D/hr ficlet thread in Fiction Alley Park. Here is the link to that thread:  

http://www.fictionalley.org/fictionalleypark/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23174

This cookie series is still in progress. Check out updates here and over there at Fiction Alley Park. And yeah, my penname is queen of slytherin over at FA Park.

~ Crushing on You ~

~~~

"Bloody hell!!!" Draco exclaimed as the unwelcome thought settled in his mind.  'Oh no, no, please no.' He hastily crumpled the piece of parchment and stuffed it inside the pocket of his robes. He made a mental note to burn the letter in the fireplace as soon as he came back to the common room.

"Hey, Malfoy, you alright?" Zabini asked, his blue eyes fixed on Draco. "You look paler than usual, and I never thought that was possible."

Under normal circumstances, Zabini would have gotten a scathing comeback for such a remark, but Draco just let it pass; these weren't normal circumstances, anyway. He nodded frantically instead. "Yeah, I'm alright…well, not really. I guess it's something I ate." He nervously wiped his lips with the back of his handkerchief—a monogrammed one at that—as he answered.

Zabini didn't look convinced, but he tactfully didn't say anything else, which was a very good thing. The last thing Draco needed was other Slytherins asking him if he was alright.

"I got to go," Draco said as he pushed back his chair. In a flash, he was up and heading towards the door. He didn't know why he had to go and where he was going; all he knew was that he had to get out of the Great Hall…fast.

"Hey, Draco, where are you going?" Pansy called after him, but he didn't even look back. Fortunately, she didn't follow outside—maybe she finally learned to leave him alone every now and then.

So he briskly walked down the corridors, not really seeing where he was going. He was busy thinking about the letter, and how it freaked the hell out of him. No, it wasn't as if Draco was a homophobe. Truth to be told, he had long accepted the existence of homosexual relationships ever since he accidentally discovered one of his own father's best kept secrets: Lucius Malfoy once had a short-time boyfriend before he married the then-Narcissa  Delacroix.

Draco had figured that if it was good enough for his father, then it couldn't be wrong. Still, accepting the existence homosexuality was one thing; being the object of desire of homosexuals was another—it made him feel uncomfortable. He simply didn't sail on that ship—thanks, but no, thanks. And he didn't want anyone getting any ideas. He was straight as a ruler.

And now, Potter was in love with him.

Still, it could be just a joke. Draco desperately wished that it was so. But who would dare play a joke on him? No matter what people would say, there were really only two kinds of people in Hogwarts—those who sided with Potter and those who sided with Draco.

If the letter was a joke, then the sender obviously didn't side with either of them. And for Draco, that made no sense at all.

Then the letter must be for real.

Then a new thought settled in Draco's mind, which made him feel miserable. If Potter, well, fancied him, Draco couldn't go on making his life a living hell, because Potter might think he was really just flirting.

And not making Potter's life a living hell was something Draco really hated to do.

Suddenly, he bumped into something solid and soft.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" a shrill voice cut through the air and pierced through Draco's ears.

He looked up and saw Granger, looking annoyed. Maybe it was just out of habit, but he totally forgot his problems when he saw her. It was torture time. Really, Draco had too much fun annoying the people he was annoyed with.

"It's not my fault you arse is too big for the hallway, you Mudblood," he snarled at her.

Granger went red. Before she had any chance to retaliate, Weasley and Potter showed up around the corner.

"Malfoy, I heard that, you bastard! Get out of her before I castrate you," Weasley growled.

But Draco wasn't paying attention to what Weasley was saying. He stood frozen, focused on Potter.

Potter walked up to Draco, his green eyes flashing. "Get out of here before I shove my wand up your arse, Malfoy," he hissed in a low voice.

'He wants to shove his wand up my arse!' Draco thought frantically. Sending letters was more than aggressive enough for him, thankyouverymuch. An innuendo-filled pick-up line like the one Potter just used on him was too much.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!" Draco, now considerably traumatized, screamed out loud before running towards the opposite direction.

~~~