Disclaimer: Characters and setting belong to JK Rowling and her publishers; crazy plot and unrecognizable characters are mine.

A/N:  This started out as a cookie series in a D/hr ficlet thread in Fiction Alley Park. Here is the link to that thread:  

http://www.fictionalley.org/fictionalleypark/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23174

This cookie series is still in progress. Check out updates here and over there at Fiction Alley Park. And yeah, my penname is queen of slytherin over at FA Park.

~ Crushing on You ~

~~~

Before Draco could say anything else, the dwarf stomped towards him, looking surly despite the lovey-dovey outfit.

"I have a valentine for you, Draco Malfoy," drawled the dwarf.

"But-but—but it's not even February!" Draco sputtered after finally regaining his bodily functions for speech and movement.

"One can receive a valentine even when it isn't February, Draco Malfoy," answered the dwarf sourly. "For everyone's good, just let me deliver the message I was asked to send you."

Draco seized the dwarf by the shoulders and shook him hard until his teeth (the dwarf's, not Draco's) chattered. "Who sent you? Who sent you?"

"Sto-stop sha-sha-king m-me! I-I c-can't a-an-swer well!"

Draco reluctantly released the dwarf. The dwarf, on the other hand, indignantly fixed the toga he was wearing.

"Who sent you, dwarf?" Draco barked.

"The sender wishes to be anonymous, Draco Malfoy. I have sworn under oath to never reveal the identity. Now let me do my business then I will leave."

"AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH" That was one of the most frustrated screams Draco ever made.

And before Draco knew what was going on, the dwarf launched into a song and dance number, complete with twists, cartwheels, and twirls:

Oh Drakie, you're so fine,

You're so fine, you blow my mind

Hey, Drakie (hey, hey)

Hey, Drakie (hey, hey)

Oh, Drakie, you're so fine,

You're so fine, you blow my mind

Hey, Drakie (hey, hey)

Hey, Drakie

Hey, Drakie

Yes, all we do is fight

But now I want some more,

You think you're always right,

But I think you've got it wrong.

Why can't we just work and try

So you can take me home, Drakie!

'Coz I always hope you will

But I know you ever won't

You're giving me the chills

Baby, please, baby don't

Every night I feel all alone

Drakie!

Oh, Drakie, what a pity you don't understand

You take me by the heart

When you curse me with your wand

Oh, Drakie, you're so pretty

Can't you understand?

It's boys like you, Drakie

Oh, what you do, Drakie

Do Drakie

Don't break my heart Drakie!

The sounds of loud, hysterical laughter and frenzied clapping drifted from the doorway as soon as the dwarf finished performing

"Bravo! Bravo!"

Blaise Zabini was standing at the doorway, clutching his sides as if holding on for dear life.

~~~

Additional Disclaimer: The song Mickey isn't mine. The dwarf's song is actually a filk of the song Mickey, which I'm pretty sure you're all familiar with. :D

A/N: Watch out for updates! :D