"Harry! Wait, I just want to talk to you! I know you're mad, but could you
wait a minute?"
"You want me to wait! I walk in on you and Malfoy and you want me to wait?
Do you think that you can just play me, all of us, like fools? You are
wrong. I won't let you do that. If you think that you can explain your way
out of this, you better think again!"
"Harry," I said, not sure what I was going to tell him to make him wait.
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what!? What have you done to be sorry for? All you've done is
rip my whole world to pieces."
"What? I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to hurt anyone." I was
vaguely aware that we were standing at the bottom of the stairs to the
boy's dorm and that there were a few people still in the common room.
"Well, too bad, you already did."
"I'm sorry. I have no control over what Malfoy does. I can't make him say
anything other than what he wants to."
"I realize that, but I think you have some control over whether or not he
walks you up to the tower and I think that you maybe could keep his lips
off of yours. I know that would be so terribly difficult for you, but maybe
you could try, for me?"
"If you are going to be an ass all night, then I think I'll go to bed. I
said I was sorry, Harry, and I meant it."
"Fine, but you might want to watch out for Ginny. I don't think she's going
to be very happy with you."
"Goodnight Harry," said as I turned, trying to keep my voice steady and
hoping he didn't see the tears in my eyes. Why did he have to see that? Why
did he have to be so mad? I was thinking that everyone must hate me. I
thought I should go find Malfoy and apologize to him, but that was how all
this started, me talking to Malfoy. I just had to be an idiot sometimes,
didn't I?
I walked up the stairs to my dorm hoping that Lavender and Parvati would be
asleep or up in the astronomy tower with their dates. I opened the door and
found that I was right, except that Hermione was sitting there, on
Lavender's bed. She was just sitting in the dark, so when I walked in I
jumped about a foot in the air.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, breathing hard, trying to slow my
racing heart.
"I needed to talk to you, I knew that Lavender and Parvati wouldn't be here
for a while and I figured you would have to come eventually."
"Oh, well why did you have to sit here in the dark? You just about gave a
heart attack!"
"I apologize, but I didn't want anyone else to know I was here."
"Why?"
"I just didn't want it getting back to Ron, or Harry for that matter. He
must be really steamed at you."
"Why would you think that?" I asked just to find out how much she knew.
"Well, if the way you two were screaming at each other is any indication,
then I would have to say you were both pretty mad about something."
"Oh, well, he kind of walked in on me and Malfoy. Malfoy made a stupid
sarcastic remark that sent him over the edge."
"Of course Malfoy would do something like that. What did he say?" she
asked, somewhat mischievously.
"Something about my lip gloss. What did you want to talk to me about?"
"Well, you and Ron. Or more accurately, you and Ron, Harry, and Malfoy."
"That. I don't know if I really want to go into that right now. That has
kind of already ruined my evening."
"I realize that and apologize, but I think it would be best if you did talk
about it."
"Fine, what about it?"
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why everything. Why Malfoy? Why Ron? Why Harry?"
"I don't think I know what you're asking exactly. If you want to know why I
seem to be cheating on all three of them, then I don't know."
"I guess that's what I wanted to know, but something else. Why do you think
you can just lead three guys around while just basically making them forget
about their old girlfriends?"
"You broke up with Harry. You can't tell me that I'm stealing your
boyfriend, because, in case you forgot, he's not your boyfriend and neither
is Draco."
"Good point, but I wasn't talking about just me. What about Ginny?"
"What about her? I didn't do anything to her. We already talked about this,
Ginny and me. She said that it was fine. She didn't blame me. Unless she
was lying, and I really can't see her lying to me about that."
"Fine, I can see that this isn't going anywhere."
"Well, what did you want me to say? Did you want me to be a good little
girl and confess all my sins and become a nun? You obviously have no idea
who I am."
"I thought that maybe I could convince you to just go for one guy, not all
three."
"I am not 'going' for any of them, not really. They are the ones who start
everything."
"But you probably flirt and tease and prod them on."
"I do not! You were right this conversation isn't going anywhere. Goodnight
Hermione." I went to my trunk and got out my pajamas and changed. She sat
there for a moment and then walked out. I could tell that she was mad
because I had shut down her little psychologist act. The only person I even
remotely tolerated psychoanalyzing me was Draco, and now he would be mad at
me too. Ron would be mad because Harry would tell him what had happened and
apparently I hurt Ginny. Harry was already mad at me. Hermione was mad, and
so was Ginny, supposedly. What had I done to have my life ruined like this?
*~*
Yes, that was perfect. I couldn't have planned it better. If she were
fighting with all her friends, then it would be easier to get her alone. It
would also be easier to remind her that she was in love with me, that we
were soul mates. She is so beautiful when she is upset. I love the way she
bites her lower lip and ignores her hair. Her hair is even longer than it
was when she left; I wish I could touch her hair again. Snap out of it. You
have to think about how you are going to get her away from that fool
Dumbledore. Master said that it would be difficult, but not impossible. I
thought that maybe I should wait until they were out of the school and off
the grounds. Master said I should get them when they were outside, but not
off the grounds, it would take too long. I had to keep reminding myself
that I had to get the boy too. I was worried about her; master said that he
saw her fainting when he asked his diviner. I hoped that she was okay; I
couldn't live without her. Now all that I had to do was wait for her and
the boy to go off together. Until then I could just watch her.
*~*
Why did I let her get to me like that? I was a bloody fool, yelling
at her in front of the whole house. How could I do that? She was just a
stupid girl, not worth my time. Oh, but she was. I loved her, well sort of.
As much as you can love anyone when you're 16 years old. Slight problem,
idiot, Malfoy and Ron seem to be in love with her too. Ron may not be
anymore, but Malfoy wanted her at the very least. As I was having this
mental battle, I realized that I was in my dorm, going through all the
motions of getting dressed for bed. I noticed that Ron was lying there,
pretending to be asleep. I could tell that he actually wasn't asleep
because he wasn't snoring.
"Hey there. You having girl trouble too?"
"More than you could imagine," he replied dully.
"Try me."
"I'd rather not, what happened to you that you think you can top me in that
category?"
"I walked in on Kerry and Malfoy, well, walked up to them."
"Really? What next, cause that isn't so bad."
"Then, Ginny ran off. Malfoy made a crack about Kerry's lip-gloss and I
left. I heard Kerry slap him. Then she tried to explain it all to me. We
ended up shouting down in the common room, in front of a lot of people."
"Oh, well. I can come kind of close, but you beat me. Kerry and I broke up,
which you already knew. She went out to the lake with Malfoy, no idea what
happened then. I was talking to Hermione and had a few really strange
thoughts, then you tell me that Kerry had no trouble getting right back up
from our truly devastating break up and was off snogging Malfoy. I think
that compares to yours at least."
"Yeah, definitely. We have major problems."
"I would have to agree. I got a question."
"What?"
"Do you still fancy Kerry?"
"Promise you won't kill me?"
"Of course not. I might cause you severe injury, but I'll make sure you
live through it."
"Gee thanks for being so considerate. Anyway, yes I do. I'm sorry for it,
but that doesn't really change things."
"Don't worry about it. It's not like we are together anymore. By the way,
what were you doing last night?" Wait, no, you can't ask me that! I don't
want you to know because you'll kill me. What am I supposed to say? 'I
tried to seduce your girlfriend.'
"Oh, um, well, uh. You know."
"Great answer. Now really, what did you do?"
"Nothing. We didn't do anything."
"Okay, what did you do?"
"I uh, I talked to Kerry."
"About?"
"About stuff."
"What kind of stuff?"
"Normal stuff."
"I can see you don't want to talk to me so I'll just sit here pretending to
be asleep again."
"Yeah, night."
"You could tell me you know, I wouldn't care." I heard him say softly
before he rolled over. I whispered, more to myself than to him.
"No, I couldn't, you would care."
*~*
She just had to have his attention too, didn't she? She was just
trying to take him away from me.
No she isn't, stop feeling sorry for yourself. She has no control
over what Malfoy does.
Yes she does. She didn't have to let him take her up here. She didn't
have to let him kiss her.
You know that isn't true.
Damn, I hate my conscience sometimes. It always seems to be right. I
wish I could just tell it to shut up. I would really rather just sit here
and feel sorry for myself, but, once again, the conscience is right. Kerry
didn't even know what I felt for Malfoy. Hell, I barely knew until I told
Harry tonight. I just wish that he didn't have to go after her every time
he saw her. He was like a little kid and she was his favorite toy. That was
so like Malfoy. If he wanted something he got it, no matter how many people
he had to step on to get it, in this case, Kerry. He just kept walking
right over everyone in his way. I bet he doesn't even like her, just wants
her. He should know that he wouldn't get anything from her; she is just too
much of a good girl. I wish he were more like that about me. He used to be,
but he always has to have the best. I'm not the best anymore.
*~*
I woke up late the next morning, all of yesterday's events coming
back to me, I groaned at the memory. Then I remembered that today was the
start of Christmas holidays. That was one bright spot anyways. I noticed
that Lavender and Parvati were finally back. I hadn't ever heard them come
in last night. Parvati was sporting a very large hickey on her neck, I was
sure there were more in places I didn't want to see. I would bet my life
that Lavender had a few as well. I got up and dressed in jeans and a t-
shirt. I found my favorite sweatshirt and put it on as well. I then went
down to see what was going on in the common room and to see if I had missed
breakfast yet.
I walked in and no one said good morning or even acknowledged my
presence. Harry and Ron were playing chess and Ginny and Hermione were
talking in a corner. I thought that I must have caused more damage than I
knew. I didn't see any of the other sixth year boys either. I was sure that
Seamus and Dean were still asleep after their night's out with Lavender and
Parvati. Neville was sick. There were a few younger students, but I didn't
know any of them so I decided to go for a walk. I figured that my charmed
sweatshirt would keep me warm enough so I didn't go back for my cloak. I
hoped that I would see someone who wasn't mad at me. I guess that was too
much to ask.
*~*
I didn't really want to sit around the Slytherin common room.
Everyone was mad for some reason or another. Mostly they were mad because I
was off chasing after a Gryffindor girl. Blaise was mad because I had
ditched her the night before, but I don't see why. She got pretty friendly
with Malcolm Baddock last night. Pansy was mad because I hadn't taken her
to the ball. She loved to pretend that we were a couple. We weren't and she
had to get that through her thick skull eventually. To avoid all of that, I
went for a walk.
I took my usual path around the lake. I kept thinking about Kerry and
last night and our first walk around this path. Stop thinking about her!
She obviously doesn't want you so why do you want her so bad? She is just a
girl. I was yelling at myself. If I had known that almost the exact same
thoughts had went through Harry's head last night, I would have laughed.
Just then, the object of my thoughts ran into me. We hadn't been watching
where we were going because we were both lost in thought, apparently.
Almost an exact repeat of last night, I was lying on top of her again. She
had to take a minute or two before she realized what was going on. Then she
just said "Hi," like we had just seen each other and I wasn't on top of
her.
"Hi yourself," I replied, making no move to get up. She didn't seem to
mind, or she wasn't yelling at me like she was last night. Hopefully she
wouldn't slap me today, my face still felt sore after that.
Still without moving from the current position, she said, "We need to
talk."
"Yeah, can that wait. I don't want to move, I like just being here with
you."
"Awww, that's almost sweet. Or it would be if you weren't on top of me."
I made a move to get up because she obviously wanted me to get off.
"No, I didn't mean that. You don't have to get up, it's actually kind of
warm."
"You are so strange."
"And proud of it. Now, what is the sarcastic Slytherin doing outside this
morning?"
"I could ask the same about the good little Gryffindor."
"You could, but I asked first."
"I was avoiding angry house members. They seem to have a slight problem
with me and you."
"Really? That is exactly what I was doing. We can be outcasts together."
"That's nice to have someone to be with, especially someone as beautiful as
you." She blushed a fiery red, "You know, I was right. You do blush redder
than Weasley." She hit me lightly on the back of the head.
"Hey! No physical abuse."
"So sorry. Did I hurt you?"
"No. Maybe we should get up, I think you're fan club could get the wrong
idea."
"I don't have a fan club, and how would they know what we're doing?"
"Okay, they're mad at you, but their looking out the window at us."
"How dare they! How about we give them a show?"
"What? What are you talking about? Kerry." When she said a show, she wasn't
kidding. She pulled me down and kissed me deeply. I broke it off. "What are
you doing?"
"Acting." She kept kissing my mouth, neck, ears, and cheeks. I had to push
her off and get up to make her stop. Not that I really wanted to, but I
didn't want the dream team after me.
"Are you sure you were acting?" I asked teasingly.
"Nope," she said, surprising me.
"You, you aren't."
"Not one bit."
"B-b-but you, you are supposed to have a thing for Potter."
"You're imagining things again. I told you I didn't have a thing for Harry"
"But last night, what were you doing?"
"Uh, I don't know." I had rattled her. She didn't expect that question. She
wasn't as confident as before.
"See? You do have a thing for him and you can't deny it."
"Fine, what if I do? He hates me now."
"No he doesn't. He's just a stupid git. That's why, even though you have a
thing for him, you should choose me instead."
"I knew there was something there for you. I couldn't see you defending
Harry unless it was something good for you."
"And I thought you knew me. Well, I think I'll go in and leave you and your
fantastic Potter to yourselves. He seems to think you need rescuing,
probably because you wouldn't let me get off of you."
"What are you talking about?" she said, turning around to see Harry walking
towards us, "Oh. Yeah, see you."
I walked away, cursing myself and Potter for what was happening.
*~*
"Hey Harry," I said, seeing him walk towards me.
"Hey."
"What are you doing out here? I hope you didn't come to rescue me from
Malfoy, because I think I can handle him."
"Oh, no, that's not it. I came out because I wanted to talk to you."
"Okay, what about?" I knew I was being harsh, but I was just a little
annoyed with him. I also had a strong feeling that I was being watched.
