Perfect Dark: The REAL Story
Perfect Dark isn't just a great game it's a warning to us all about what to come. Some programmer tried to make the real story in the game however he was silenced and the story changed to a load of crap. After a lot of research I found the real story and it's my personal mission to educate the world before its too late!!
Background
For starters we must explain who the real evil people are. The "Mayans" are actually a terrorist group. Their species is known as ?? (cannot be pronounced but when interpreted means Short Little Thin Guys With Massive Heads) and the terrorist group is titled "Mad Alien Youth Against Naughty Skeda" or "Mayans" for short. "Mayans" were founded after the cease fire between??and the Skeda. Until recently the "Mayans" were either too poor or stupid to do much (probley both) and were pretty much the laughing stock of the intergalactic terrorist scene until July 1979.
One of their dumbass pilots was flying a "kamikaze" mission near earth in an attempt to put a nasty dent in the side of an intergalactic battle cruiser belonging to the Skeda. Somehow, despite the battle cruiser being twice the size of New York, the dumbass missed and crashed into America causing a huge rise in radiation in the country and also a massive hole in the ozone layer (why else do you think the Americans are stupid). Enter Daniel Carrington and Jonathon Dark. Daniel and his boyfriend were driving home from a Star Trek Convention all exited about "exiting" it was when, as they drove in the drive way, a weird looking plane smashed into the side of the house.
To Daniel and Jonathon all of their dreams had come true. They were the first 2 people to great an alien life form to earth. They walked up to the craft, opened the door, put on their best Captain Kirk voices and said, "Hello you big silly goose, what are you doing here in my house."
Enter Elvis (when translated Elvis means dickhead to the?? people). Elvis happened to be the dumbass pilot that missed on his kamikaze mission and the 2 earthlings comforted him outside his ship. The three became great friends and soon Elvis started to supply Daniel Carrington with what he considered "hi -tech" equipment (the fact that the training program Elvis gave Carrington was only a ?? computer game, and the weapons were outdated by at least several centuries didn't seem to bother him). Elvis expressed his hate of the Skeda to his 2 new friends and they came to hate the Skeda also and decided to start the first Skeda hate group on earth.. The Carrington Institute.
The Carrington Institute recruited nerds from a Star Trek convention and used all of their money to construct the building and other things. Joanna Dark is Daniel Carrington's stupid blonde niece. When she dropped out of high school Daniel offered her a job on the condition she died her hair red so it was harder to tell she is as thick as she really is.
Data Dyne is actually the good guys. They are a small Skeda government offshoot sent to earth to combat the Carrington Institute. They are at the bottom of the pile and they only receive minimal funding, hence that crappy guns and stupid guards. More people will be referred to as time goes on.
Perfect Dark isn't just a great game it's a warning to us all about what to come. Some programmer tried to make the real story in the game however he was silenced and the story changed to a load of crap. After a lot of research I found the real story and it's my personal mission to educate the world before its too late!!
Background
For starters we must explain who the real evil people are. The "Mayans" are actually a terrorist group. Their species is known as ?? (cannot be pronounced but when interpreted means Short Little Thin Guys With Massive Heads) and the terrorist group is titled "Mad Alien Youth Against Naughty Skeda" or "Mayans" for short. "Mayans" were founded after the cease fire between??and the Skeda. Until recently the "Mayans" were either too poor or stupid to do much (probley both) and were pretty much the laughing stock of the intergalactic terrorist scene until July 1979.
One of their dumbass pilots was flying a "kamikaze" mission near earth in an attempt to put a nasty dent in the side of an intergalactic battle cruiser belonging to the Skeda. Somehow, despite the battle cruiser being twice the size of New York, the dumbass missed and crashed into America causing a huge rise in radiation in the country and also a massive hole in the ozone layer (why else do you think the Americans are stupid). Enter Daniel Carrington and Jonathon Dark. Daniel and his boyfriend were driving home from a Star Trek Convention all exited about "exiting" it was when, as they drove in the drive way, a weird looking plane smashed into the side of the house.
To Daniel and Jonathon all of their dreams had come true. They were the first 2 people to great an alien life form to earth. They walked up to the craft, opened the door, put on their best Captain Kirk voices and said, "Hello you big silly goose, what are you doing here in my house."
Enter Elvis (when translated Elvis means dickhead to the?? people). Elvis happened to be the dumbass pilot that missed on his kamikaze mission and the 2 earthlings comforted him outside his ship. The three became great friends and soon Elvis started to supply Daniel Carrington with what he considered "hi -tech" equipment (the fact that the training program Elvis gave Carrington was only a ?? computer game, and the weapons were outdated by at least several centuries didn't seem to bother him). Elvis expressed his hate of the Skeda to his 2 new friends and they came to hate the Skeda also and decided to start the first Skeda hate group on earth.. The Carrington Institute.
The Carrington Institute recruited nerds from a Star Trek convention and used all of their money to construct the building and other things. Joanna Dark is Daniel Carrington's stupid blonde niece. When she dropped out of high school Daniel offered her a job on the condition she died her hair red so it was harder to tell she is as thick as she really is.
Data Dyne is actually the good guys. They are a small Skeda government offshoot sent to earth to combat the Carrington Institute. They are at the bottom of the pile and they only receive minimal funding, hence that crappy guns and stupid guards. More people will be referred to as time goes on.