Disclaimer: I own everything. I mean nothing. Heh. Heh heh.
----
That night...
The hall was decorated beautifully. Everyone was in tuxes or dresses. Classical slow music was
being played by ghosts. And most everyone was really drunk.
Harry meandered up to Remus Lupin (he was there because he got a new job there), gave a long
belch, and then said, "What is a pretty lady like you doing in a dump like this?"
"I'm so offended!" Lupin said. "I'm on the janitorial team! We cleaned this place up ourselves!"
"Sorry, miss, no offense intended."
"Did someone say my name?!" Ms. Rekin screeched as she staggered up. "Whew! LIQUID FIRE!"
A replying shout came from across the hall, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" and then a puking sound. Albus
sat silently and soberly in his chair, hands on his lap, shaking his head. "Sigh...I can't be-
lieve Madame Hooch had bought whiskey and no shot glasses. I had told her to get ale, but NOOOO,
Miss. Broomstick just HAD to get whiskey!"
"Uh, Dumbledore, I'm not saying you're wrong in your decisions or anything...but do I have to get
nuteured?" Snape whined.
"Shaddup, you greasy git!" Albus snapped. Snape seemed to be called that alot in the past five
years. He moaned and sat on the corner edge of the Gryffindor table and sulked. Most kids were
too drunk to care. Just then Hermione walked by, wearing a velvet black dress and carrying tons
of books. She was sober, it seemed. Snape perked up and poked her in the shoulder. She stopped
and looked at him. "Yes?" She said, dropping her books on Neville's feet with a crunch.
"That kiss you gave me earlier..." He said sheepishly, blushing wildly. "...Well...it was...
really romantic."
"Really?" Her eyes sparkled. "Draco NEVER says that! All he wants is do it, do it, do it! You
really appreciate me! Oh Snape!"
"Oh Hermione!" They then held hands and ran off to the Slytherin boys' dorm (twice now Herm's
been in there! Tsk tsk!).
Meanwhile, in the same dark an dscary dungeon thing...
"Hee hee titter giggle snort chuckle guffaw chortle!" Voldemort laughed, rubbing his hands to-
gether. He had duct tape, a wand, clothes (duh), and floo powder. "I'm dun dun dun dun! VOLDIE-
MAN!" He said, stirking a pose. He dumped the whole bucket of floo powder and dove into his fire-
place. Though the fire was going, he still teleported to where he need to be. Slytherin Common
Room. He rolled out of the fireplace and sneezed. Then again. "Oh no, I forgot I'm allergic to
floo powder!" He exclaimed and continued sneezing. Just then Hermione came out in a blue bath-
robe, accompanied by Snape in a pink bathrobe. All three of them stood frozen, staring at each
other in surprise.
"OH MY GOSH!" They all screamed, and dashed for the door. "Don't you dare tell anyone about us,
Dark One!" Severus yelled as he gripped Voldemort's ankle and tripped him. Snape fell as well,
causing Hermione to trip and fall on both of them.
"Okay, okay, let me go!" Voldemort cried, smacking Snape's hand.
"Owww..." Snape whimpered and held his hand protectively. Then Voldie spoke "Okay, I won't tell
anyone about you two if you don't tell anyone I'm here!"
The gruesome twosome stared at each other, wondering if this was a good idea. The idea of having
their secret told made them decide not to let anyone know Voldemort was at Hogwarts.
Voldemort snuck out and put duct tape of the Gray Lady's mouth, then tiptoed his way through the
castle. Snape and Hermione also left after changing into regular clothes.
When they got down there, they walked with their hands behind their back and whistled a merry
tune as if they were hiding something. "Yeeee-up. If one thing's for sure, Voldemort is definet-
ily NOT in Hogwarts right now." Herm said. Snape nodded. "Yeeee-up." He said.
"Ah! Ow! Ooh! I'm having a baby!" Trelawney screamed, lying on the floor in a labor pose. "Help!"
Justin Finch-Fletchley dove onto the long table, which she was near the end of, and slid on his
belly towards her. Food flew everywhere from under him, splattering everyone nearby with sugary
snacks and whiskey. "Never fear, JUSTIN'S HERE!" He yelled dramatically as he neared the end of
the table. He flew off the edge and over Sybil's head, smacking face-first into the wall behind
her. Just then Harry ran up.
"My love! My baby!" He said, waving his arms wildly. "I'll get that baby out!" He then lifted her
skirt, winced at the unpleasant site, and grabbed the baby's head. "UHHHG I think it's stuck!"
"That's my foot you fool!" Trelawney screeched, slapping his wrist. Just then Poppy P. raced ov-
er. "Oh, let me help her!" And with that she heaved Trelawney up and shoved her way to the hos-
pital wing. Then the professor finally gave birth to twins. One had green eyes, messy dark hair,
and was short (for a baby, I guess). The other had dark eyes, black hair and DUN DUN DUN: was
glaring for no reason.
"Ahhhhhh!" Trelawney screeched. "Oh, gee, how'd that happen?"
Just then Snape came in, carrying Hermione in his arms. She also happened to be giving birth. "Oh
for the love of pete! I never get a break! everyone's always breaking bones or having babies a-
round here!" Madame Pomfrey said, throwing her hands up. She yanked Hermione from Sev's arms by
her hair and threw her onto a gerney.
With only one push, POP! Out came a a little baby. Black hair, rather large front teeth (don't
ask why the baby was born with teeth), a hawk-like nose and sallow skin. Snape took one look at
all of the babies, paled, and fainted in the doorway.
"Oooh, finally a good doorstop!" Pomfrey said, and then looked at the babies. "Hmmm. Well, Tre-
lawney's first one seems to be Potter's boy, and the both of the other babes are...Snape's."
"What?! I don't know HOW mine is HIS baby...heh heh." Hermione said, looking around nervously at
everyone.
"What?! First you kiss him, now you're having his baby! I want a divorce!" Draco said, who had
walked up just then. He ran off, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Waiiiiit. You two ran off just today. How could you get pregnant and have a baby so fast?" Sybil
asked Hermione.
"Um...Well, tonight wasn't the first night." She responded, blushing. "I never looked pregnant
because I used a spell to appear skinny." At this point Pomfrey was flushed with anger. "Why
that SKANK!!! I thought he loved me!"
Of course at that point Madame Hooch, Madame Maxine, and Professor Sprout walked up. "What
the???" They all gasped upon hearing the previous sentences. Everyone stared at each other dur-
and awkward moment of silence.
----
Um...no comment. O.o please review. CHEESE. Hee hee.
----
That night...
The hall was decorated beautifully. Everyone was in tuxes or dresses. Classical slow music was
being played by ghosts. And most everyone was really drunk.
Harry meandered up to Remus Lupin (he was there because he got a new job there), gave a long
belch, and then said, "What is a pretty lady like you doing in a dump like this?"
"I'm so offended!" Lupin said. "I'm on the janitorial team! We cleaned this place up ourselves!"
"Sorry, miss, no offense intended."
"Did someone say my name?!" Ms. Rekin screeched as she staggered up. "Whew! LIQUID FIRE!"
A replying shout came from across the hall, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" and then a puking sound. Albus
sat silently and soberly in his chair, hands on his lap, shaking his head. "Sigh...I can't be-
lieve Madame Hooch had bought whiskey and no shot glasses. I had told her to get ale, but NOOOO,
Miss. Broomstick just HAD to get whiskey!"
"Uh, Dumbledore, I'm not saying you're wrong in your decisions or anything...but do I have to get
nuteured?" Snape whined.
"Shaddup, you greasy git!" Albus snapped. Snape seemed to be called that alot in the past five
years. He moaned and sat on the corner edge of the Gryffindor table and sulked. Most kids were
too drunk to care. Just then Hermione walked by, wearing a velvet black dress and carrying tons
of books. She was sober, it seemed. Snape perked up and poked her in the shoulder. She stopped
and looked at him. "Yes?" She said, dropping her books on Neville's feet with a crunch.
"That kiss you gave me earlier..." He said sheepishly, blushing wildly. "...Well...it was...
really romantic."
"Really?" Her eyes sparkled. "Draco NEVER says that! All he wants is do it, do it, do it! You
really appreciate me! Oh Snape!"
"Oh Hermione!" They then held hands and ran off to the Slytherin boys' dorm (twice now Herm's
been in there! Tsk tsk!).
Meanwhile, in the same dark an dscary dungeon thing...
"Hee hee titter giggle snort chuckle guffaw chortle!" Voldemort laughed, rubbing his hands to-
gether. He had duct tape, a wand, clothes (duh), and floo powder. "I'm dun dun dun dun! VOLDIE-
MAN!" He said, stirking a pose. He dumped the whole bucket of floo powder and dove into his fire-
place. Though the fire was going, he still teleported to where he need to be. Slytherin Common
Room. He rolled out of the fireplace and sneezed. Then again. "Oh no, I forgot I'm allergic to
floo powder!" He exclaimed and continued sneezing. Just then Hermione came out in a blue bath-
robe, accompanied by Snape in a pink bathrobe. All three of them stood frozen, staring at each
other in surprise.
"OH MY GOSH!" They all screamed, and dashed for the door. "Don't you dare tell anyone about us,
Dark One!" Severus yelled as he gripped Voldemort's ankle and tripped him. Snape fell as well,
causing Hermione to trip and fall on both of them.
"Okay, okay, let me go!" Voldemort cried, smacking Snape's hand.
"Owww..." Snape whimpered and held his hand protectively. Then Voldie spoke "Okay, I won't tell
anyone about you two if you don't tell anyone I'm here!"
The gruesome twosome stared at each other, wondering if this was a good idea. The idea of having
their secret told made them decide not to let anyone know Voldemort was at Hogwarts.
Voldemort snuck out and put duct tape of the Gray Lady's mouth, then tiptoed his way through the
castle. Snape and Hermione also left after changing into regular clothes.
When they got down there, they walked with their hands behind their back and whistled a merry
tune as if they were hiding something. "Yeeee-up. If one thing's for sure, Voldemort is definet-
ily NOT in Hogwarts right now." Herm said. Snape nodded. "Yeeee-up." He said.
"Ah! Ow! Ooh! I'm having a baby!" Trelawney screamed, lying on the floor in a labor pose. "Help!"
Justin Finch-Fletchley dove onto the long table, which she was near the end of, and slid on his
belly towards her. Food flew everywhere from under him, splattering everyone nearby with sugary
snacks and whiskey. "Never fear, JUSTIN'S HERE!" He yelled dramatically as he neared the end of
the table. He flew off the edge and over Sybil's head, smacking face-first into the wall behind
her. Just then Harry ran up.
"My love! My baby!" He said, waving his arms wildly. "I'll get that baby out!" He then lifted her
skirt, winced at the unpleasant site, and grabbed the baby's head. "UHHHG I think it's stuck!"
"That's my foot you fool!" Trelawney screeched, slapping his wrist. Just then Poppy P. raced ov-
er. "Oh, let me help her!" And with that she heaved Trelawney up and shoved her way to the hos-
pital wing. Then the professor finally gave birth to twins. One had green eyes, messy dark hair,
and was short (for a baby, I guess). The other had dark eyes, black hair and DUN DUN DUN: was
glaring for no reason.
"Ahhhhhh!" Trelawney screeched. "Oh, gee, how'd that happen?"
Just then Snape came in, carrying Hermione in his arms. She also happened to be giving birth. "Oh
for the love of pete! I never get a break! everyone's always breaking bones or having babies a-
round here!" Madame Pomfrey said, throwing her hands up. She yanked Hermione from Sev's arms by
her hair and threw her onto a gerney.
With only one push, POP! Out came a a little baby. Black hair, rather large front teeth (don't
ask why the baby was born with teeth), a hawk-like nose and sallow skin. Snape took one look at
all of the babies, paled, and fainted in the doorway.
"Oooh, finally a good doorstop!" Pomfrey said, and then looked at the babies. "Hmmm. Well, Tre-
lawney's first one seems to be Potter's boy, and the both of the other babes are...Snape's."
"What?! I don't know HOW mine is HIS baby...heh heh." Hermione said, looking around nervously at
everyone.
"What?! First you kiss him, now you're having his baby! I want a divorce!" Draco said, who had
walked up just then. He ran off, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Waiiiiit. You two ran off just today. How could you get pregnant and have a baby so fast?" Sybil
asked Hermione.
"Um...Well, tonight wasn't the first night." She responded, blushing. "I never looked pregnant
because I used a spell to appear skinny." At this point Pomfrey was flushed with anger. "Why
that SKANK!!! I thought he loved me!"
Of course at that point Madame Hooch, Madame Maxine, and Professor Sprout walked up. "What
the???" They all gasped upon hearing the previous sentences. Everyone stared at each other dur-
and awkward moment of silence.
----
Um...no comment. O.o please review. CHEESE. Hee hee.