"...Sounds to me like a nut with a crush..."

Here I am, stuck against a refrigerator and Hannibal Lecter is kissing me. I didn't think it would come to this. When Krendler said that, I thought he was crazy, thought he was loosing his mind. Maybe I was being blind...maybe I didn't want to believe it...or maybe I knew already but wouldn't face it because of how I feel for him.
I shouldn't feel anything for him. He's a monster, a killer, a madman. Sure, he's refined and unlike anyone I know, but I know too much about this man to feel any type of attachment for him. How am I supposed to love a man I can never be with? How will I feel about him in ten years? How will I feel about myself in ten years?
How did I come to love a monster? He's kissing me, I'm stuck, I don't know what to do in this situation...it's been only a split second and my mind is racing with thoughts and I don't know if I should respond and give everything up, or use the handcuffs in my dress...