A Gravitation Fanfiction
Author's Notes: Yay! Finished and released in one week as I promised ^_~ Enjoy everyone!
Acknowledgements: Many thanks to Anomay for being my very lovely beta-reader! Thanks so much!
Warnings: Contains spoilers, I am assuming you have seen the series or know all of the spoilers!! And some shounen ai (duh! Its gravi!) Expect some rampant OOCness!
Disclaimer: All rights to Gravitation belong to Maki Murakami-sama, SPE Visual Works, Sony, and WOWOW. But don't I wish they were mine! ^_~
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Sabrinne: *Adds chocolate Shu-can to her collection.* Yum . . . hooray, now my next project: Chocolate Ryu-chan! Fun!
Yuki: Can I take a look at the Shuichi?
Sabrinne: *looks at bishie* Did I hear you right? You want my chocolate Shu-chan?
Yuki: Hmn, just hand it over!
Sabrinne: Alright, alright, don't get mad! *gives Yuki a Shu-chan*
Yuki: *mumbles* Annoyingly kawaii . . . annoyingly.
Shuichi: I'm kawaii! Say it again Yuki! Again! *tail wagging*
Yuki: . . .
Shuichi: Wahhhh! Say it again.
Sabrinne: Maa, maa! Stop crying, I have get on with the story . . .
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Part 4: The Spoken and UnspokenShuichi swallowed audibly as his gaze fixed on the familiar figure standing a few feet away. The shadows from the almost bare branches of the trees obscured part of the man's face, but the gleam of blond hair was unmistakable. "Yuki . . ." Shuichi whispered as he took a small step back. His whole body was tense while his mind was screaming for him to run. But all of the muscles in his body seemed to be frozen as he stared at the writer with huge, helpless eyes.
Yuki flinched as he watched Shuichi take a step back from him. The look in the singer's eyes was indication enough that Shuichi didn't want to see him ever again. But with Fujisaki Suguru's words still ringing in his ear, he tossed the cigarette that he had just lit and walked towards the motionless boy with determination.
"Shuichi." Yuki said as he noted the frightened expression on Shuichi's face with a sick feeling to his stomach. "Why did you pick that night of all nights? Why?" He asked as he finally was able to get those words from his throat.
It's too soon. I can't deal with this yet. Shuichi thought, panicked. But his eyes remained pinned on Yuki as he watched the blonde's mouth move to form words. For a second, he couldn't hear anything as the accelerated beating of his heart created a deafening roar in his ears. Breathe, you baka, breathe. Shuichi mocked himself as he shook his head slightly, forcing the hysteria away. By the time that he calmed down, he had already missed what Yuki had said; he had only managed to catch the last word to escape those perfect lips. That one word was enough for him to guess at what Yuki had said to him. It was the one question that he dreaded answering. "Why?"
The silence stretched between the two as Yuki waited nervously for Shuichi's reply. But when no sounds broke from his ex-lover's lips, Yuki began to feel the familiar well of anger bubbling within him. Control it. Control it! Yuki clenched his hands into tight fists as he fought the tempest within himself. Baka, if you blow up now, you're never going to get another chance. But those words of warning came too late as he burst out. "Answer me Shuichi!" He shouted as he took another step towards the boy, now he was so close that he could see the violet flecks in those large blue eyes that were fixed on him.
"I, I –" Shuichi stuttered as his mind scrambled to find a satisfactory answer. He couldn't give Yuki the real reason. Telling the man he loved how much torment that he had gone through to make his decision would mean that he'd lose the little pride that he had left, and his pride was the only thing that he had left. "Yuki, my relationship with you interfered with the band, I felt that it would be better if I focused on the band for now. You know how fame is, one moment you're successful and the next you're not." Shuichi babbled, hoping that it was a suitable explanation.
"Don't lie to me." Yuki said with annoyance, calling his bluff. "Tell me the real reason!" He demanded harshly, his hands reached out to grip Shuichi's thin arms tightly.
"I'm not lying to you!" Shuichi replied, but his averted gaze belied his statement. The look that Yuki gave him showed that the writer did not believe a word that he said. "Why do you care anyway? I thought you'd be happy to have this annoying brat out of your life!" Shuichi cried out as his eyes began to blur with unshed tears. "Leave me alone Yuki! Why do you have to haunt me like this? Please leave me alone!"
Yuki stood stock still as he stared down at Shuichi's trembling lips and soft, watery eyes. All he could hear was Shuichi's voice begging him to leave him be, repeated over and over again, until it became a litany in his mind, taunting him. "Shut up!" He whispered fiercely, out of instinct, he did the first thing that he could to silence the still babbling Shuichi, he covered the singer's mouth with his own. All sounds from the singer stopped save for a small surprised gasp.
Shuichi's mind was blissfully blank, as he froze mid-sentence. Time seemed to stand still as his eyes met Yuki's directly. He willed himself not to respond to the feel of those painfully familiar lips caressing his own. Staring into golden eyes that dared him to pull away, Shuichi found himself unable to tear away as he slowly registered the fact that although Yuki's lips were touching his, they weren't moving. I can't give in to this, if I do, all that I have done in the past weeks will have been for nothing. Shuichi thought with stubborn determination as he hardened his lips and tried to turn his head away. But even as he made a move to break the contact between them, the dynamics of the kiss suddenly changed. No longer were the lips that were pressed on his still, instead they moved almost shyly over his, coaxing hopefully for a reply. Without even realizing it, Shuichi felt his knees weaken as he leaned slightly into Yuki's hands, which were still gripped onto his thin arms. Everything part of his mind was screaming at him to pull away, but at that moment, he felt incredibly tired and he wanted, no, needed, to borrow Yuki's strength for a minute. Closing his eyes, he fell forward and was caught in a warm embrace.
Yuki's shoulder's sagged with relief as he watched the internal battle in Shuichi end through those blue eyes that spoke of his every emotion. When Shuichi's eyes drifted shut, Yuki gave a small moan of happiness as he released the singer's arms and wrapped his arms more securely around the boy instead. The blood within his veins was singing as Shuichi responded to his shy advance and settled into his tight embrace. Deepening the kiss, Yuki thought of nothing else more, as he reveled in the taste of his lover's lips. In that moment, all seemed to be right in the world.
All too soon, Yuki and Shuichi broke apart as both of them gasped for air. Yuki glanced over at Shuichi whose head was still buried into the crook between his neck and shoulder and a cold shiver passed through his body. His fear was confirmed when Shuichi raised his eyes to look at him. Guilt was creeping into still slightly glazed blue eyes at an alarming rate. Say it, say it you coward! Yuki opened his mouth to say the words that he had intended to say the moment he had spied Shuichi standing in the park where they had first met, looking so forlorn that it made his heart ache even worse than it already was. But no sound escaped his throat as panic set in. All of his old fears of vulnerability choked away the words that were caught in his chest.
"Yuki?" Shuichi whispered in a hoarse voice as he waited in the silence, hoping foolishly that Yuki would say something that would make everything all right again. Hoping that Yuki could possibly say the words that he desperately needed to hear. But the sounds of the night were only broken by the sounds of their ragged breaths.
What have I done? Shuichi thought guiltily as he pushed away from Yuki's now loose embrace. It's over between you and him, remember? Tonight should be proof enough of all that you have feared. Yuki was only attracted to you; he could never love an annoying brat like you. He has no plans to ask you to come back! A small snide voice in him taunted him as he backed away from Yuki, one step at a time.
"I'm sorry, Shuichi." Yuki said in an almost inaudible whisper as he continued to fight the beasts within himself.
"No, no, no!" Shuichi shouted as he lifted a hand and sent it crashing into Yuki's cheek. "No! Don't say anymore! Don't tell me 'you're sorry', I don't want that from you!" Shit, what did I just do? Shuichi looked down at his hand, which was still throbbing painfully and the reddening mark on Yuki's cheek. Whirling around, Shuichi ran.
Yuki stood still staring at the bright spot of pink hair and orange jacket that was slowly disappearing from view. His left hand was still touching the painful spot on his cheek as he leaned back into the railing on the edge of the small path. Only the metal structure was holding him up as he finished the sentence that he couldn't finish in front of the person that he loved. "I'm sorry Shuichi, I wanted to tell you sooner. I love you."
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Shuichi opened the front door to his house quietly as he wiped his eyes with the sleeves of his jacket one more time before walking into the darkened hallway. All the lights are off, thank god! He sighed with relief as he crept to his room; he didn't want to deal with anyone at the moment.
"Onii-chan . . ." A small, ghostly voice whispered from the corner sofa in the living room.
"Kyaaaaa!" Shuichi almost jumped out of his skin as he whirled around to stare at his sister, who was lounging in one of the chairs. "You scared me again!" He hissed at her in his cat mode, tail fluffed out and hair standing on end.
"That's what you get for coming home so late!" She lectured haughtily as she turned on one of the small lamps on the end table.
"Oops, gomen!" Shuichi bowed, his cheeks tinged with a faint blush, he had completely forgotten that no normal person kept hours like Bad Luck did.
"Aa, are you hungry still? I think that we had some leftovers from dinner still left in the fridge." Maiko said as she turned to look at her brother with a smile. The smile faded quickly as she noted the disheveled hair, swollen cheeks, and puffy, red eyes. "What happened to you?" She demanded, even though she had a pretty good idea as to what happened to her brother or whom he had met.
"It was nothing." Shuichi mumbled as he looked down to the ground and eyed a mysterious speck of non-existent dust on the floor.
"Yuki Eiri again?" Maiko was not willing to let go of the subject. She had thought that she had talked some sense into the writer this morning, but it looked to her that absolutely nothing had been solved. That bastard! How did he screw things up this time?! She wondered.
"No, that's not it. We just had some problems recording today."
"Do you know how bad of a liar you are onii-chan?" Maiko walked over to Shuichi and led him into the kitchen. "I won't press you for any answers, but have you eaten yet?"
"I don't know." Shuichi thought back to the day, he didn't remember going to get anything to eat since Hiro took him out to lunch. Suddenly, his stomach growled loudly, the sound reverberated in the room as Shuichi's face turned a tomato red.
"Obviously not." Maiko smiled as she heated up the food and set it out in front of him. "Eat this and go to bed. I'll call NG tomorrow and tell them you're not coming in."
Shuichi, who had already dug into his food, perked up when he heard 'NG' being mentioned. "Buf I'm gowing to wfork."
"Don't talk with your mouth full!" She smacked the back of his head lightly. "You need your rest onii-chan, I don't care what your boss is going to say, I'm not letting you out of the house tomorrow!"
Swallowing the mouthful of rice, Shuichi gave the girl a small salute. "Hai, hai!"
"That's better, I'm going to bed now, don't forget to soak the dishes in water before you go to bed!" Maiko said over her shoulder as she walked back to her room.
Shuichi watched his sister leave the room with a small smile on his lips. He hadn't realized how much he missed her presence since he had moved out until now. She's a good kid, but then she couldn't go wrong with a brother like me, right? He thought proudly. Quickly polishing off the rest of his plate, Shuichi dumped the dishes into the kitchen sink as ordered and filled the bowls with water. Walking to his room, he dreaded every step. It was going to be another sleepless night of many.
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Yuki unlocked the door to his apartment slowly as he walked into the dark and cold apartment. Che, I must have left a window open or something. He thought with annoyance. Instead of investigating where the open window was, he walked to his small office and sat down at the desk that he usually sat at when he wanted to get some writing done. Flipping on the laptop that had been mostly untouched for the past two weeks, he waited in the darkness for the computer to boot up.
Yuki put on the glasses that he usually reserved for reading as he opened up the word processing program. Staring at the blank page, he leaned back into his chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose. In his mind, he still saw the pained torment on Shuichi's face; it haunted him even more than the tragedies of the past. Don't you think its past time to bury those ghosts? He thought as he tapped a finger on the keyboard. In fact, he thought that he had gotten over his fears when he visited Kitazawa Yuki's grave more than a year ago, but now, he was not so sure. The memory of past tragedies still prevented him from doing what was right, what he needed to do. Slowly he began to type, pushing down on each key on the keyboard almost hesitantly. Soon the room was filled with only the sound of fingers hitting plastic.
Dawn broke over the horizon and caused Yuki to halt in his writing. Glancing down on the page, he reread what he had written in the past four hours. The words on the page leaped at him, they were beautiful and flowing. It was the best and most difficult piece that he had ever written. Saving the small file, he pushed his chair back and walked to the bedroom. Collapsing on the bed, he pressed his face into the pillow and slept. Although the work was not even close to being done, he slept peacefully, for the first time in two weeks.
-TBC
Author's Notes: Yay! All done! You won't believe the kind of writer's block I had for this part, I hope I didn't mess up the kiss scene that much. I know that the "I'm pissed, so I'll kiss you" plot device is cliché, but hey, no matter. Anyway, thanks everyone for reading! As usual, please review or email me! I love getting feedback from readers, flames or compliments! ^_^ 'Til next time, ja ne!