Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. Part of me says that's a good
thing, though..
Spoilers: Oh, absolutely!
Rating: I think this story's pretty much going to stay PG-13, but I'm not really sure why.
A/N: I feel so terrible! I'm on summer vacation right now, and it's almost over, but for all of June and part of July, I had to live with my sister WITHOUT A COMPUTER! It was complete and utter hell. Anyway, the reason I feel so terrible is because I haven't updated this story in quite a while! Usually, that's not like me. I actually have people out there who want to review my story. I'm very sorry, and I hope you can forgive me! Now, the trio and Snape played a little game of Alphabet (which I don't really see Snape doing again anytime soon, even if he is my favorite character. I quickly got tired of him in this.), and I don't think Ron will stay much longer if Drew remains a spider (nor will I!). So, read on, if you still want to!
Ron: Um, Professor Snape? (He's standing as far away from the desk as he can and is slightly whimpering)
Snape: What is it now?
(Ron simply points at Drew.)
Snape: (looking in the direction he points) I don't see a problem. And that's a detention, Weasley, plus 10 points from Gryffindor-from each of you. You have all wasted my precious time! (He walks away)
Harry: (Checking to see that he's out of hearing range) Precious time he should've used taking a shower!
Hermione: (glaring at Harry) Well, what are we supposed to do now? We have no host or a fourth person. And we're not allowed to use magic outside of school.
Ron: That's the least of my worries!
(The other two look and see him trying not to watch the spider form of Drew.)
Member of the Audience: Is this part of the show? Because you guys are some really bad actors!
(Suddenly, Lucius Malfoy storms in holding Draco by the ear just as someone throws a tomato onstage. Obviously that person didn't like the show.)
Lucius: I thought you might like him back. (He looks at Harry while clutching his wand, and then looks at Hermione and last at Ron, the only full-blooded wizard there besides him and his son.) Don't let them touch you, Draco.
Draco: (holding his ear) Okay, father!
(Hermione gets an idea, like she always does. in the books that is. If this were the movie, Harry would have all the ideas!)
Hermione: Excuse me, sir. We might have a hard time without a host. Would you please turn him back into human?
Lucius: I think he looks better that way.
(All color drains from Ron's face.)
Hermione: But. you could benefit from this.
Lucius: (looking at her bitterly, not believing a word she says) How?
Hermione: Er-well..
Draco: (finally catching on, as Harry just stands there still confused and Ron passes out on the steps) Publicity!
(Lucius looks at him, now interested.)
Lucius: Publicity, eh? (Rubbing his chin) What kind of publicity?
Draco: (Fishing for an idea) Muggle television! Do some magic on here, and they'll think you're a god! You can even be the next Jerry Springer to them.
Lucius: (not knowing who Jerry Springer is) Power! You've got it! (He turns Drew back into his original form and then, satisfied at the crowd's reaction, which was very loud gasps, walks offstage)
Draco: Mudblood (pointing at Hermione), go wake up Weasel.
(Hermione does so as Drew cleans his glasses.)
Drew: Um. that was interesting. We're going to play another game. The name of it has slipped my mind, since I don't have my cards, but I do have these envelopes for two players! And I'm the one who gets to choose those two players. (He thinks for a few seconds.) Ron and Draco. Take these. (They take them.)
Ron: What are these for?
Drew: I was just getting there! Geeze! You have to act out a scene in which Draco is a drunken bastard and Ron is his nagging wife. You have two phrases, hand selected, of which you pull out of your pockets and say them aloud. Is all that understood?
(Ron and Draco look at each other, and Ron's face is unusually red. They nod.)
Drew: Good. Then get started!
(The two walk over to the middle of the stage while placing the envelopes in their pockets.)
Draco: (stumbling in like the character he's supposed to play and hanging onto Ron) Honey (his speech is all slurred), there's something I gotta say to you. (He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket.)
Ron: (with a high-pitched voice, but looking very angry, like someone from Monty Python) And what is it?
Draco: There is no one else that I can say this to. There is no one better.. (He looks at the paper) "Get up, Captain Stiffy!"
(The audience bursts into laughter while Ron forces back a smile.)
Ron: (suddenly getting very serious) How dare you say such a thing! You're drunk, aren't you?
Draco: I wouldn't say that..
Ron: No, you're drunk! And you know what that means! (He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket, too.) "In the morning, I'm making slushies."
Draco: (not even trying to hide his smile) Why wait till morning?
Ron: Because you're drunk!
Draco: Fine! Then let's go to bed. (He pulls the second piece of paper from his pocket.) "What wonders and horrors await you here?"
Ron: Well, after the first thing you told me..
Draco: (Holding his hand to his ear) What's that?
Ron: (pulling his second piece of paper out) "Look out girl, 'cause I'm gonna getcha!"
(Drew hits the buzzer a few times as the audience goes wild. Draco and Ron shake hands before walking back to their seats.
Drew: Don't go away! There's more "Whose Line Is It Anyway-Harry Potter Style" coming up after this break!
A/N: Phew! I finally got that written! Once again, I am very sorry for keeping you waiting. I hope you liked this one because I'm very partial to this chapter! I also hope this makes up for the long wait! Also, if you haven't seen "Road to Perdition" with Tom Hanks, you must! It is brilliant.
Spoilers: Oh, absolutely!
Rating: I think this story's pretty much going to stay PG-13, but I'm not really sure why.
A/N: I feel so terrible! I'm on summer vacation right now, and it's almost over, but for all of June and part of July, I had to live with my sister WITHOUT A COMPUTER! It was complete and utter hell. Anyway, the reason I feel so terrible is because I haven't updated this story in quite a while! Usually, that's not like me. I actually have people out there who want to review my story. I'm very sorry, and I hope you can forgive me! Now, the trio and Snape played a little game of Alphabet (which I don't really see Snape doing again anytime soon, even if he is my favorite character. I quickly got tired of him in this.), and I don't think Ron will stay much longer if Drew remains a spider (nor will I!). So, read on, if you still want to!
Ron: Um, Professor Snape? (He's standing as far away from the desk as he can and is slightly whimpering)
Snape: What is it now?
(Ron simply points at Drew.)
Snape: (looking in the direction he points) I don't see a problem. And that's a detention, Weasley, plus 10 points from Gryffindor-from each of you. You have all wasted my precious time! (He walks away)
Harry: (Checking to see that he's out of hearing range) Precious time he should've used taking a shower!
Hermione: (glaring at Harry) Well, what are we supposed to do now? We have no host or a fourth person. And we're not allowed to use magic outside of school.
Ron: That's the least of my worries!
(The other two look and see him trying not to watch the spider form of Drew.)
Member of the Audience: Is this part of the show? Because you guys are some really bad actors!
(Suddenly, Lucius Malfoy storms in holding Draco by the ear just as someone throws a tomato onstage. Obviously that person didn't like the show.)
Lucius: I thought you might like him back. (He looks at Harry while clutching his wand, and then looks at Hermione and last at Ron, the only full-blooded wizard there besides him and his son.) Don't let them touch you, Draco.
Draco: (holding his ear) Okay, father!
(Hermione gets an idea, like she always does. in the books that is. If this were the movie, Harry would have all the ideas!)
Hermione: Excuse me, sir. We might have a hard time without a host. Would you please turn him back into human?
Lucius: I think he looks better that way.
(All color drains from Ron's face.)
Hermione: But. you could benefit from this.
Lucius: (looking at her bitterly, not believing a word she says) How?
Hermione: Er-well..
Draco: (finally catching on, as Harry just stands there still confused and Ron passes out on the steps) Publicity!
(Lucius looks at him, now interested.)
Lucius: Publicity, eh? (Rubbing his chin) What kind of publicity?
Draco: (Fishing for an idea) Muggle television! Do some magic on here, and they'll think you're a god! You can even be the next Jerry Springer to them.
Lucius: (not knowing who Jerry Springer is) Power! You've got it! (He turns Drew back into his original form and then, satisfied at the crowd's reaction, which was very loud gasps, walks offstage)
Draco: Mudblood (pointing at Hermione), go wake up Weasel.
(Hermione does so as Drew cleans his glasses.)
Drew: Um. that was interesting. We're going to play another game. The name of it has slipped my mind, since I don't have my cards, but I do have these envelopes for two players! And I'm the one who gets to choose those two players. (He thinks for a few seconds.) Ron and Draco. Take these. (They take them.)
Ron: What are these for?
Drew: I was just getting there! Geeze! You have to act out a scene in which Draco is a drunken bastard and Ron is his nagging wife. You have two phrases, hand selected, of which you pull out of your pockets and say them aloud. Is all that understood?
(Ron and Draco look at each other, and Ron's face is unusually red. They nod.)
Drew: Good. Then get started!
(The two walk over to the middle of the stage while placing the envelopes in their pockets.)
Draco: (stumbling in like the character he's supposed to play and hanging onto Ron) Honey (his speech is all slurred), there's something I gotta say to you. (He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket.)
Ron: (with a high-pitched voice, but looking very angry, like someone from Monty Python) And what is it?
Draco: There is no one else that I can say this to. There is no one better.. (He looks at the paper) "Get up, Captain Stiffy!"
(The audience bursts into laughter while Ron forces back a smile.)
Ron: (suddenly getting very serious) How dare you say such a thing! You're drunk, aren't you?
Draco: I wouldn't say that..
Ron: No, you're drunk! And you know what that means! (He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket, too.) "In the morning, I'm making slushies."
Draco: (not even trying to hide his smile) Why wait till morning?
Ron: Because you're drunk!
Draco: Fine! Then let's go to bed. (He pulls the second piece of paper from his pocket.) "What wonders and horrors await you here?"
Ron: Well, after the first thing you told me..
Draco: (Holding his hand to his ear) What's that?
Ron: (pulling his second piece of paper out) "Look out girl, 'cause I'm gonna getcha!"
(Drew hits the buzzer a few times as the audience goes wild. Draco and Ron shake hands before walking back to their seats.
Drew: Don't go away! There's more "Whose Line Is It Anyway-Harry Potter Style" coming up after this break!
A/N: Phew! I finally got that written! Once again, I am very sorry for keeping you waiting. I hope you liked this one because I'm very partial to this chapter! I also hope this makes up for the long wait! Also, if you haven't seen "Road to Perdition" with Tom Hanks, you must! It is brilliant.