"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"
Chapter Three: Live Flesh
Author: Gluglug
Spoiler Warning/Timing: late-Third Season
Rating: PG -13
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.
Summary: Lorelai and Rory go to the market. Guess who Lorelai runs into?
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An hour later, Rory and Lorelai approached the town center on their way to Doose's market. It was a lovely Spring afternoon, sunny and warm. Lorelai was happy that she and Rory had made up and were doing the mother/daughter bonding thing.
"Rory, this is why I love our relationship. How many moms would take their daughters on a phallic grocery run? I mean, could you picture Lane and her mom doing this?"
"Well only if hell froze over and Mama Kim thought she needed help on her wedding night to her bible thumping Korean missionary husband. Meanwhile, Lane secretly eloped with Dave six years ago and are touring with their own version of the Trachtenburg Family Players."
Lorelai nodded. "With her double life, she should be a guest star on 'Alias.' They'd give her a purple wig and she could take down the bad guys with her drumsticks."
Rory laughed. "Yeah, she'd love that. Hey Mom, I know you're all giddy that we made up but can you please try not to embarrass me in the store? If Dean is working there today, the last thing I want to do is rub any of this in his face, okay?"
"Hey, who do you think I am, Miss Patty? She's the one who fondles the produce and makes veiled sexual references."
"Yeah, have you ever seen her touch the cucumbers, the zucchini and even the string beans? The last time she was in there, she scared Kirk so much that he put down his basket and ran out of the store without hitting the checkout."
Lorelai giggled. "Hey, I wonder which vegetable Kirk is."
"Mom, please! The mental picture!"
"Okay, I promise I'll stop. And we have other items to buy besides bananas." She fished out a shopping list and handed it to Rory. "I'll handle the produce, just in case Miss Patty is there and you can handle the packaged goods."
"Okay. I trust you to pick out a nice banana bunch for me."
The girls entered Doose's market. Rory looked around for Dean but apparently it was his day off or he was in the stockroom. Since they had broken up, they had tried to maintain a friendly relationship, but Rory had stopped memorizing his work schedule long ago.
As planned, Rory went to the center of the store with a shopping basket to buy bread, pop-tarts and snack foods. Lorelai headed to the perimeter of the store to the produce department. She spotted the bananas and looked over the selection. She was so engrossed that she was startled to hear a familiar gruff male voice.
"Lorelai, you're never in the produce section. Are you lost in the supermarket?"
"Yeah, I can no longer shop happily." She said absently and looked up to see Luke standing right next to her, also surveying the bananas.
"Oh, Luke, um hi," she stammered.
"Hi."
"Um, why aren't you at the diner?"
"Well, I'm not chained to the counter, you know, Jess is watching the place. I came here for my weekly fruit and veggie run." He motioned to his basket, which was filled with a cucumber, some string beans, asparagus and a bunch of carrots. "These bananas look good, don't they?"
Lorelai had to stifle a giggle. "Oh, yeah, they do." She paused. "Um, Luke I want to apologize for last night."
Luke gave her a quizzical look. "Last night?"
"You didn't suffer memory loss from the trauma, did you? You know what I'm referring to, right?"
He looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, I remember. Um, can we not talk about it here, in the middle of Doose's?"
Lorelai was relieved by his response, she didn't exactly want to have this discussion in front of the bananas, either. "Sure, but I need to explain myself."
"I'm sure you do. Why don't you come by the diner tonight around closing, say nine?"
"Nine, sure, no problem."
"I'll see you then. I'll save you some coffee. Hey, I gotta finish my shopping before Jess burns down the diner."
Luke grabbed a bunch of large bananas, put them in his basket and headed towards the health food aisle. Lorelai finally let the giggle out she had stifled.
Just then Rory finished getting her items and joined her mother near the bananas. Lorelai still hadn't chosen a bunch.
"Mom, I've finished my portion of the list. How difficult is it to pick out bananas?"
"I was distracted."
"By Miss Patty? I don't see her."
"No, not Miss Patty. Luke." She motioned to the checkout, where he was standing in line.
Rory turned around and saw Luke. He caught her eye and gave her a nod. She gave him a small wave and turned to face her mother.
"Well, you seem to have escaped unscathed. Did you guys talk?"
"Sort of. I made a Clash joke and tried to apologize but Luke didn't want to talk about it here. I'm going to the diner tonight at closing."
"So you'll have it out then?"
"Don't say that, Rory. The last time Luke and I had it out, we didn't talk for weeks. He said he'd save me some coffee, so I'm hoping it'll be a friendly discussion."
"Then I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Hey, here's some good ones." Rory picked up a bunch, similar to the ones Luke selected.
"Yeah, Luke chose ones just like 'em. Nice and big, huh?" Lorelai giggled.
Rory turned crimson. "Let's just go pay for this stuff and get out of here before you start fondling the produce."
"Oh, but you should've what was in Luke's basket, cucumbers, zucchini.....I'm not having any problem picturing what vegetable he is."
"Mom, stop it. You are so turning into Miss Patty. When she retires, you can take over her dance studio and role as the town she-letch."
Lorelai grimaced at the thought and they headed to the checkout to pay for their items.
A/N: There's a Joe Strummer tribute in here (I'm turning into Daniel Palladino, the horror). I'm afraid this story isn't really a Literati, to the reviewer who asked. I don't know how long this one is going to be yet but Jess may show up later. And notice how I worked the townies into the story without actually have them appear?
Chapter Three: Live Flesh
Author: Gluglug
Spoiler Warning/Timing: late-Third Season
Rating: PG -13
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.
Summary: Lorelai and Rory go to the market. Guess who Lorelai runs into?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------
An hour later, Rory and Lorelai approached the town center on their way to Doose's market. It was a lovely Spring afternoon, sunny and warm. Lorelai was happy that she and Rory had made up and were doing the mother/daughter bonding thing.
"Rory, this is why I love our relationship. How many moms would take their daughters on a phallic grocery run? I mean, could you picture Lane and her mom doing this?"
"Well only if hell froze over and Mama Kim thought she needed help on her wedding night to her bible thumping Korean missionary husband. Meanwhile, Lane secretly eloped with Dave six years ago and are touring with their own version of the Trachtenburg Family Players."
Lorelai nodded. "With her double life, she should be a guest star on 'Alias.' They'd give her a purple wig and she could take down the bad guys with her drumsticks."
Rory laughed. "Yeah, she'd love that. Hey Mom, I know you're all giddy that we made up but can you please try not to embarrass me in the store? If Dean is working there today, the last thing I want to do is rub any of this in his face, okay?"
"Hey, who do you think I am, Miss Patty? She's the one who fondles the produce and makes veiled sexual references."
"Yeah, have you ever seen her touch the cucumbers, the zucchini and even the string beans? The last time she was in there, she scared Kirk so much that he put down his basket and ran out of the store without hitting the checkout."
Lorelai giggled. "Hey, I wonder which vegetable Kirk is."
"Mom, please! The mental picture!"
"Okay, I promise I'll stop. And we have other items to buy besides bananas." She fished out a shopping list and handed it to Rory. "I'll handle the produce, just in case Miss Patty is there and you can handle the packaged goods."
"Okay. I trust you to pick out a nice banana bunch for me."
The girls entered Doose's market. Rory looked around for Dean but apparently it was his day off or he was in the stockroom. Since they had broken up, they had tried to maintain a friendly relationship, but Rory had stopped memorizing his work schedule long ago.
As planned, Rory went to the center of the store with a shopping basket to buy bread, pop-tarts and snack foods. Lorelai headed to the perimeter of the store to the produce department. She spotted the bananas and looked over the selection. She was so engrossed that she was startled to hear a familiar gruff male voice.
"Lorelai, you're never in the produce section. Are you lost in the supermarket?"
"Yeah, I can no longer shop happily." She said absently and looked up to see Luke standing right next to her, also surveying the bananas.
"Oh, Luke, um hi," she stammered.
"Hi."
"Um, why aren't you at the diner?"
"Well, I'm not chained to the counter, you know, Jess is watching the place. I came here for my weekly fruit and veggie run." He motioned to his basket, which was filled with a cucumber, some string beans, asparagus and a bunch of carrots. "These bananas look good, don't they?"
Lorelai had to stifle a giggle. "Oh, yeah, they do." She paused. "Um, Luke I want to apologize for last night."
Luke gave her a quizzical look. "Last night?"
"You didn't suffer memory loss from the trauma, did you? You know what I'm referring to, right?"
He looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, I remember. Um, can we not talk about it here, in the middle of Doose's?"
Lorelai was relieved by his response, she didn't exactly want to have this discussion in front of the bananas, either. "Sure, but I need to explain myself."
"I'm sure you do. Why don't you come by the diner tonight around closing, say nine?"
"Nine, sure, no problem."
"I'll see you then. I'll save you some coffee. Hey, I gotta finish my shopping before Jess burns down the diner."
Luke grabbed a bunch of large bananas, put them in his basket and headed towards the health food aisle. Lorelai finally let the giggle out she had stifled.
Just then Rory finished getting her items and joined her mother near the bananas. Lorelai still hadn't chosen a bunch.
"Mom, I've finished my portion of the list. How difficult is it to pick out bananas?"
"I was distracted."
"By Miss Patty? I don't see her."
"No, not Miss Patty. Luke." She motioned to the checkout, where he was standing in line.
Rory turned around and saw Luke. He caught her eye and gave her a nod. She gave him a small wave and turned to face her mother.
"Well, you seem to have escaped unscathed. Did you guys talk?"
"Sort of. I made a Clash joke and tried to apologize but Luke didn't want to talk about it here. I'm going to the diner tonight at closing."
"So you'll have it out then?"
"Don't say that, Rory. The last time Luke and I had it out, we didn't talk for weeks. He said he'd save me some coffee, so I'm hoping it'll be a friendly discussion."
"Then I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Hey, here's some good ones." Rory picked up a bunch, similar to the ones Luke selected.
"Yeah, Luke chose ones just like 'em. Nice and big, huh?" Lorelai giggled.
Rory turned crimson. "Let's just go pay for this stuff and get out of here before you start fondling the produce."
"Oh, but you should've what was in Luke's basket, cucumbers, zucchini.....I'm not having any problem picturing what vegetable he is."
"Mom, stop it. You are so turning into Miss Patty. When she retires, you can take over her dance studio and role as the town she-letch."
Lorelai grimaced at the thought and they headed to the checkout to pay for their items.
A/N: There's a Joe Strummer tribute in here (I'm turning into Daniel Palladino, the horror). I'm afraid this story isn't really a Literati, to the reviewer who asked. I don't know how long this one is going to be yet but Jess may show up later. And notice how I worked the townies into the story without actually have them appear?