A/N this is a VERY twisted idea that is semi serious……not really, but I can't write something that is full of funny lines. But its still a parody. And a crossover. For those who don't know, ol' Chuckie played Blofeld (In DRAG too!) in Diamonds Are Forever, as well as Crim. This is using half of the Shock Treatment conspiracy theory with Crim is also Judge Wright. So this is what would happen if MI6 found out that ol' Oliver was really Bond's archenemy. Real weird, I know, but enjoy it!
**
The office was empty, as it usually was on a Saturday, with only three people there. M, Moneypenny, and himself. And the only reason why any of them were there was because of an old enemy. He made his way back into M's office, where he was immediately buzzed in, and sat down facing the stout woman. She pulled a file out from the shelf behind her, and laid it out on the desk. He picked it up, and leafed through it. Most of it was information he already new, until he came to the end.
"He's surfaced again."
"In a little town called Denton. Your mission is to find him, and expedite him back to London. If he is planning something, stop it before you bring him here. If you can, bring him back alive." Bond nodded. M looked at him long and hard. "He is still considered extremely dangerous…"
"He always was." Bond cut in.
"Just be careful." M said. M looked to Bond like a son. And he was the best they had. If they lost him, they'd lose a very valuable agent.
**
They sat around the table, making idle chitchat. The guys were all talking, and so were their matching mates. As they normally did, they were comparing each other.
"Ralph's getting quite boring, he doesn't do anything interesting! I'm getting sick of it!" Betty, who she could consider her best friend was relating her blues about her husband.
"I know what you mean. Brad's so afraid of doing something wrong, he does hardly anything wrong!" They both laughed at that, completely oblivious to what the men were saying.
The men were complaining about boredom as well, but not of being bored with their wives. Instead, they were complaining about the town. It was a small suburb, and it seemed as if nothing happened. And Brad wasn't too keen to tell about what had happened on that late November evening 3 years ago. Little did they know just how much action was going to befall their town.
**
While Bond was being informed about his new assignment, and while the four Dentonians were talking about how bored they were, there were another four people, just reaching the very edges of the galaxy when something went very wrong. What was supposed to be a foolproof plan had gone wrong, and had gone wrong a while ago, but it had just reached the point of no return.
The misson was very cut and dried to begin with. Or so it had seemed. Meet with the contact, begin plans for the invasion. But somewhere, it had gone wrong. But they had fixed things. They had killed him, or so they had thought. But if they had killed him, then what was he doing slumped against the door to their bedroom, obviously breathing.
"You!" he proclaimed at the site of the bedraggled man decked out only in a corset and fishnets.
"Me." He said, and walked to the nightstand, where a pack of cigarettes lay. He pulled one out and lit it, staring intently at the couple, sprawled out on the bed.
"You're alive!" he said, incredulously.
"I am." He said, sitting down on the bed,still sopping wet, but he didn't give a damn.
"Wh-how-why?" Riff stammered, staring at him incrediously. Frank shrugged.
"I don't know. But, there is a mission to be finished. Surely you're not going to forget about that. Although it seems as if you were. But as since I'm not dead, I demand that you turn this ship around." Riff was about to refuse, until Frank pulled out a laser, the same one that had almost killed him not that long ago. He grinned as Riff promptly closed his mouth, and got up silently, leaving Magenta asleep on the bed.