"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"
Chapter Eleven: The Bullfighter
Author: Gluglug
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season
Rating: PG -13
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.
Summary: Lorelai has her second session with Dr. Lieberman.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------
Wednesday afternoon, Lorelai sat in the waiting room of Dr. Lieberman's office, anxiously drumming her fingertips on the edge of her metal chair and absently flipping through an old issue of In Style magazine. She had already read this one, or had she? How many times had Julia Roberts' toothy movie star grin been on the cover?
"Lorelai Gilmore, you can go in now." The receptionist's voice cut into her reverie and she stood up, grabbed her bag and walked into Dr. Lieberman's office. This time she didn't greet her at the door, she was sitting at her desk, looking over a file with her reading glasses perched on her nose. Dr. Lieberman looked up at Lorelai and noticed that she was dressed more conservatively than last time, in a dark blue pantsuit and heels.
"Hello, Lorelai. Good to see you again, sit down. How are you?"
"Is that a loaded question?" Lorelai smirked as she settled into the comfy chair.
"That depends on you, what do you have to report?"
"Oh, I don't even know where to begin."
Dr. Lieberman removed her glasses. "Well, let's start with something easy. How's the sleep aid I prescribed working out?"
"Oh, it's great when I remember to take it. I sleep like a baby and my dreams aren't nearly as vivid."
"So, you haven't been taking it regularly? It's best that you do, at least in the short term."
"I know, I messed up, it only happened once. You see, it was Saturday night and I had a date with my boyfriend Alex...."
The doctor nodded. "So you have a boyfriend, we didn't talk about him last time. Tell me about Alex, how long have you been seeing him?"
"Since January, I met him at a continuing ed class my friend Sookie and I took to help us with our Inn plans. He's really sweet, handsome and witty and he runs a coffee house in Hartford. The Java Junction, have you heard of it?"
"No, I'm not a coffee drinker, I'm afraid. I prefer herbal teas."
"Well, he also serves tea. In any case, he's a great guy. He has all the qualities a woman could want and he gives me free coffee. What more can I say?"
"Interesting, Lorelai, have you been cutting back on caffeine like I suggested? I would imagine it would be tough considering your intake and the fact that your boyfriend runs a coffee house."
Lorelai looked sheepish. "Well, I tried really hard to cut back, but I fell off the wagon Saturday night. I drank more than I wanted to. God, I sound like I have a drinking problem! Is there a 12 step program for caffeine addicts?"
"No, but there should be. Caffeine addiction isn't as harmful as alcohol addiction, but it can cause physical problems and sleep disorders, most likely in your case."
Lorelai's eyes widened. "I have a sleep disorder?"
"Well, you came here because you're having problems sleeping, correct? Lorelai, I don't have a diagnosis yet, but I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of this." She paused. "So other than Saturday, how hard has it been for you to cut back?"
"Well on a regular day, it's not bad. You see I go to Luke's diner, usually with Rory, for breakfast and I have a cup of his peerless coffee. If I get a refill, Luke gives me decaf, he knows that I'm cutting back. And his decaf is actually pretty good, I have to admit."
"Ah, Luke, I remember we spoke about him last time. I believe you told me he referred you?"
The pointed tone of the doctor made Lorelai shift uncomfortably in her chair. "Yeah, he knows I'm seeing you. He's really proud of me."
"And what did your daughter say when you told her?"
Lorelai shifted again, she couldn't lie to Dr Lieberman. "Um, I haven't told Rory yet."
"You told me last time that you're very close, I thought you would've shared this with her. It's not a judgment, I'm just surprised."
"Well, I just don't want her to worry about me. We have a lot going on with her preparing for graduation in June, Yale in the fall and the sex thing with her boyfriend."
"Right, you mentioned that last time." Dr. Lieberman looked over her notes. "You said you started to have the strange dreams when you found the condoms in her room. Why don't we focus on the dreams for the remainder of our session?"
"Oh, I almost forgot." Lorelai reached into her bag and pulled out a small notebook. "I've been keeping a dream diary, like you suggested."
Lorelai began to tell Dr. Lieberman about her dreams, including the one with the coffee cups and the "Careless Whisper" scenario. She also told her the non-Luke ones, including Rory's college pregnancy and finding her in bed with her boyfriends, not at the same time of course.
"So what can you tell me, other than I've been having too many sex dreams? Does this mean I'm sexually frustrated?"
"I don't know. Sexual dreams aren't purely or even necessarily about sex, they usually represent unspoken emotional needs. But since you mentioned it, are you sexually frustrated, Lorelai?"
Lorelai looked embarrassed. "Well, maybe. I haven't had sex in a few weeks."
The doctor nodded. "I'm going to ask you some personal questions, so just take your time and answer the best you can."
"As opposed to the other questions you ask?" Lorelai chuckled. "Be gentle, doctor."
"How is your sex life with Alex? Is your relationship is physically and emotionally satisfying? You don't have to be graphic."
"Well, it started off great, we had sex about a month into the relationship and it was fantastic, Alex's very attentive in bed, you might say. But lately, I haven't wanted to spend the night with him. For the past two weekends, I ended our dates early. One was because I was worried about Rory and the condoms and the other......"
Lorelai stopped, did she really want to tell her that she had been fantasizing about Luke?
"The other what? Just take your time, we have several minutes left."
Lorelai sighed. "This is so embarrassing. The other night, Alex and I were making out in his apartment and I started to have these visions or fantasies, I guess. But Alex wasn't in them. I kind of freaked out and left kind of abruptly."
The doctor nodded. "Can you tell me who it was?"
"Um, the person who was the leading man in my "Careless Whisper" and coffee cup dreams?"
"You can't say his name?"
Lorelai groaned. "It was Luke, okay are you happy?"
The doctor stopped writing. "Lorelai, whether or not I'm happy isn't the point. I think you need to start examining why Luke is in your fantasies and dreams."
Lorelai looked confused. "But I thought that was your job?"
"I'm here to help, but you have to be willing to have an open mind. Last week you insisted that you weren't in love with him. I'm not suggesting that you are or aren't. But it's obvious to me that he plays an important role in your life and you need to figure out what that is. The fact that you told him that you're seeing me but haven't yet told Rory speaks volumes. Also, the fact that you haven't wanted to sleep with Alex also has me concerned about the future of your relationship."
"Well, Alex is concerned, too." Lorelai sighed. "We're sort of on hiatus. Not cancelled but on hiatus. I mean, he told me that he wants me to think about where our relationship is going and when I figure it out to call him. I'm not seeing him this weekend."
"Oh, I see. Lorelai, can you picture yourself with Alex in the future? In five or say, ten years' time?"
Lorelai shook her head. "I don't know. I don't like to put that kind of pressure on a relationship. Whenever I've done that in the past, it always leads to disaster. I've vowed just to take it day by day and enjoy it while it lasts. Very que sera, sera. Lorelai began to sing.
"Whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see, que sera sera."
Dr. Lieberman was amused. "Doris Day?"
"Nah, the Syd Straw version from "Heathers."
"We can talk movies next time." The doctor smirked. "Lorelai, I have another exercise for your journal. I want you to picture your life five years from now and write down what you see. It doesn't have to be long, I just want to get a feel for how you see yourself, professionally, personally, your daily routine, idealized or not."
"I can do that. Could I write more than one scenario?"
"Sure, as many as you'd like." Dr. Lieberman stared at her Ebel watch. "Well, time's about up."
Lorelai was surprised how fast the sessions came and went. "So what's next?"
"Here's what I'd like you to do in addition to the journal exercise. Continue to take your medicine regularly, before bedtime. Also, continue to monitor your caffeine intake and write down your dreams. I also want you to take notice if the vividness of your dreams is being influenced by the amount of caffeine you consume."
Lorelai was furiously taking down the doctor's advice in her notebook. "Anything else?"
"And think about Luke, try to analyze his current and potential role in your life."
Lorelai smirked. "I had a feeling you would say that. Believe me, I don't need to try too hard to think about Luke." Lorelai paused. "How am I doing so far?"
The doctor smiled. "You're doing just fine, Lorelai. We have a way to go, but I think we're making some progress. And don't lose that journal. I'll see you next week?"
Lorelai nodded. "See you next week."
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Later that afternoon, Rory came home from school. She noticed the blinking light on their answering machine and played the message.
"Hello, this is Dr. Lieberman's office calling for Lorelai Gilmore. We're just confirming your appointment for today at 12:30. Please call 555-7865 if you need to reschedule. Have a good day."
Rory was puzzled. She had called to make an appointment with the gynecologist for that upcoming Saturday. The phone number also sounded wrong; maybe the office had two numbers? She decided to call to make sure they hadn't been a mix-up.
"Dr. Lieberman's office, Carol speaking."
"Um, hi Carol. This is Lorelai Gilmore, I think there's been a mix up with my appointment. You had me down for today at 12:30?"
"Ms. Gilmore, yes. You had an appointment today. And according to the book, you kept it."
Rory was even more confused. "But I made an appointment to see the doctor for a pelvic exam this Saturday at 11."
Carol also sounded confused. "Ms. Gilmore, this is a psychiatrist's office, we don't do pelvic exams."
Rory nearly dropped the phone while she slowly figured out what was going on. "Um, this may sound, um, crazy. But what did I look like?"
"Excuse me?"
"Just tell me what Lorelai Gilmore looked like."
"Um, tall, with dark long curly hair, pale and dressed in a business suit, I think."
Rory was about to explain herself but decided that she didn't feel like wasting her breath. It was after all a psychiatrist's office, so Carol must've been used to dealing with crazy patients.
"Thanks for your help, Carol. Have a good day."
Rory hung up the phone. She knew it. She had a feeling she was hiding something from her. Now she knew what it was. She started to get angry, how could her mother keep a secret like this from her after demanding to know all the details about her and Jess?
Rory couldn't wait until her mother got home.
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Chapter Eleven: The Bullfighter
Author: Gluglug
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season
Rating: PG -13
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.
Summary: Lorelai has her second session with Dr. Lieberman.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------
Wednesday afternoon, Lorelai sat in the waiting room of Dr. Lieberman's office, anxiously drumming her fingertips on the edge of her metal chair and absently flipping through an old issue of In Style magazine. She had already read this one, or had she? How many times had Julia Roberts' toothy movie star grin been on the cover?
"Lorelai Gilmore, you can go in now." The receptionist's voice cut into her reverie and she stood up, grabbed her bag and walked into Dr. Lieberman's office. This time she didn't greet her at the door, she was sitting at her desk, looking over a file with her reading glasses perched on her nose. Dr. Lieberman looked up at Lorelai and noticed that she was dressed more conservatively than last time, in a dark blue pantsuit and heels.
"Hello, Lorelai. Good to see you again, sit down. How are you?"
"Is that a loaded question?" Lorelai smirked as she settled into the comfy chair.
"That depends on you, what do you have to report?"
"Oh, I don't even know where to begin."
Dr. Lieberman removed her glasses. "Well, let's start with something easy. How's the sleep aid I prescribed working out?"
"Oh, it's great when I remember to take it. I sleep like a baby and my dreams aren't nearly as vivid."
"So, you haven't been taking it regularly? It's best that you do, at least in the short term."
"I know, I messed up, it only happened once. You see, it was Saturday night and I had a date with my boyfriend Alex...."
The doctor nodded. "So you have a boyfriend, we didn't talk about him last time. Tell me about Alex, how long have you been seeing him?"
"Since January, I met him at a continuing ed class my friend Sookie and I took to help us with our Inn plans. He's really sweet, handsome and witty and he runs a coffee house in Hartford. The Java Junction, have you heard of it?"
"No, I'm not a coffee drinker, I'm afraid. I prefer herbal teas."
"Well, he also serves tea. In any case, he's a great guy. He has all the qualities a woman could want and he gives me free coffee. What more can I say?"
"Interesting, Lorelai, have you been cutting back on caffeine like I suggested? I would imagine it would be tough considering your intake and the fact that your boyfriend runs a coffee house."
Lorelai looked sheepish. "Well, I tried really hard to cut back, but I fell off the wagon Saturday night. I drank more than I wanted to. God, I sound like I have a drinking problem! Is there a 12 step program for caffeine addicts?"
"No, but there should be. Caffeine addiction isn't as harmful as alcohol addiction, but it can cause physical problems and sleep disorders, most likely in your case."
Lorelai's eyes widened. "I have a sleep disorder?"
"Well, you came here because you're having problems sleeping, correct? Lorelai, I don't have a diagnosis yet, but I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of this." She paused. "So other than Saturday, how hard has it been for you to cut back?"
"Well on a regular day, it's not bad. You see I go to Luke's diner, usually with Rory, for breakfast and I have a cup of his peerless coffee. If I get a refill, Luke gives me decaf, he knows that I'm cutting back. And his decaf is actually pretty good, I have to admit."
"Ah, Luke, I remember we spoke about him last time. I believe you told me he referred you?"
The pointed tone of the doctor made Lorelai shift uncomfortably in her chair. "Yeah, he knows I'm seeing you. He's really proud of me."
"And what did your daughter say when you told her?"
Lorelai shifted again, she couldn't lie to Dr Lieberman. "Um, I haven't told Rory yet."
"You told me last time that you're very close, I thought you would've shared this with her. It's not a judgment, I'm just surprised."
"Well, I just don't want her to worry about me. We have a lot going on with her preparing for graduation in June, Yale in the fall and the sex thing with her boyfriend."
"Right, you mentioned that last time." Dr. Lieberman looked over her notes. "You said you started to have the strange dreams when you found the condoms in her room. Why don't we focus on the dreams for the remainder of our session?"
"Oh, I almost forgot." Lorelai reached into her bag and pulled out a small notebook. "I've been keeping a dream diary, like you suggested."
Lorelai began to tell Dr. Lieberman about her dreams, including the one with the coffee cups and the "Careless Whisper" scenario. She also told her the non-Luke ones, including Rory's college pregnancy and finding her in bed with her boyfriends, not at the same time of course.
"So what can you tell me, other than I've been having too many sex dreams? Does this mean I'm sexually frustrated?"
"I don't know. Sexual dreams aren't purely or even necessarily about sex, they usually represent unspoken emotional needs. But since you mentioned it, are you sexually frustrated, Lorelai?"
Lorelai looked embarrassed. "Well, maybe. I haven't had sex in a few weeks."
The doctor nodded. "I'm going to ask you some personal questions, so just take your time and answer the best you can."
"As opposed to the other questions you ask?" Lorelai chuckled. "Be gentle, doctor."
"How is your sex life with Alex? Is your relationship is physically and emotionally satisfying? You don't have to be graphic."
"Well, it started off great, we had sex about a month into the relationship and it was fantastic, Alex's very attentive in bed, you might say. But lately, I haven't wanted to spend the night with him. For the past two weekends, I ended our dates early. One was because I was worried about Rory and the condoms and the other......"
Lorelai stopped, did she really want to tell her that she had been fantasizing about Luke?
"The other what? Just take your time, we have several minutes left."
Lorelai sighed. "This is so embarrassing. The other night, Alex and I were making out in his apartment and I started to have these visions or fantasies, I guess. But Alex wasn't in them. I kind of freaked out and left kind of abruptly."
The doctor nodded. "Can you tell me who it was?"
"Um, the person who was the leading man in my "Careless Whisper" and coffee cup dreams?"
"You can't say his name?"
Lorelai groaned. "It was Luke, okay are you happy?"
The doctor stopped writing. "Lorelai, whether or not I'm happy isn't the point. I think you need to start examining why Luke is in your fantasies and dreams."
Lorelai looked confused. "But I thought that was your job?"
"I'm here to help, but you have to be willing to have an open mind. Last week you insisted that you weren't in love with him. I'm not suggesting that you are or aren't. But it's obvious to me that he plays an important role in your life and you need to figure out what that is. The fact that you told him that you're seeing me but haven't yet told Rory speaks volumes. Also, the fact that you haven't wanted to sleep with Alex also has me concerned about the future of your relationship."
"Well, Alex is concerned, too." Lorelai sighed. "We're sort of on hiatus. Not cancelled but on hiatus. I mean, he told me that he wants me to think about where our relationship is going and when I figure it out to call him. I'm not seeing him this weekend."
"Oh, I see. Lorelai, can you picture yourself with Alex in the future? In five or say, ten years' time?"
Lorelai shook her head. "I don't know. I don't like to put that kind of pressure on a relationship. Whenever I've done that in the past, it always leads to disaster. I've vowed just to take it day by day and enjoy it while it lasts. Very que sera, sera. Lorelai began to sing.
"Whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see, que sera sera."
Dr. Lieberman was amused. "Doris Day?"
"Nah, the Syd Straw version from "Heathers."
"We can talk movies next time." The doctor smirked. "Lorelai, I have another exercise for your journal. I want you to picture your life five years from now and write down what you see. It doesn't have to be long, I just want to get a feel for how you see yourself, professionally, personally, your daily routine, idealized or not."
"I can do that. Could I write more than one scenario?"
"Sure, as many as you'd like." Dr. Lieberman stared at her Ebel watch. "Well, time's about up."
Lorelai was surprised how fast the sessions came and went. "So what's next?"
"Here's what I'd like you to do in addition to the journal exercise. Continue to take your medicine regularly, before bedtime. Also, continue to monitor your caffeine intake and write down your dreams. I also want you to take notice if the vividness of your dreams is being influenced by the amount of caffeine you consume."
Lorelai was furiously taking down the doctor's advice in her notebook. "Anything else?"
"And think about Luke, try to analyze his current and potential role in your life."
Lorelai smirked. "I had a feeling you would say that. Believe me, I don't need to try too hard to think about Luke." Lorelai paused. "How am I doing so far?"
The doctor smiled. "You're doing just fine, Lorelai. We have a way to go, but I think we're making some progress. And don't lose that journal. I'll see you next week?"
Lorelai nodded. "See you next week."
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Later that afternoon, Rory came home from school. She noticed the blinking light on their answering machine and played the message.
"Hello, this is Dr. Lieberman's office calling for Lorelai Gilmore. We're just confirming your appointment for today at 12:30. Please call 555-7865 if you need to reschedule. Have a good day."
Rory was puzzled. She had called to make an appointment with the gynecologist for that upcoming Saturday. The phone number also sounded wrong; maybe the office had two numbers? She decided to call to make sure they hadn't been a mix-up.
"Dr. Lieberman's office, Carol speaking."
"Um, hi Carol. This is Lorelai Gilmore, I think there's been a mix up with my appointment. You had me down for today at 12:30?"
"Ms. Gilmore, yes. You had an appointment today. And according to the book, you kept it."
Rory was even more confused. "But I made an appointment to see the doctor for a pelvic exam this Saturday at 11."
Carol also sounded confused. "Ms. Gilmore, this is a psychiatrist's office, we don't do pelvic exams."
Rory nearly dropped the phone while she slowly figured out what was going on. "Um, this may sound, um, crazy. But what did I look like?"
"Excuse me?"
"Just tell me what Lorelai Gilmore looked like."
"Um, tall, with dark long curly hair, pale and dressed in a business suit, I think."
Rory was about to explain herself but decided that she didn't feel like wasting her breath. It was after all a psychiatrist's office, so Carol must've been used to dealing with crazy patients.
"Thanks for your help, Carol. Have a good day."
Rory hung up the phone. She knew it. She had a feeling she was hiding something from her. Now she knew what it was. She started to get angry, how could her mother keep a secret like this from her after demanding to know all the details about her and Jess?
Rory couldn't wait until her mother got home.
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