Mabel was stuck in the chubby quicksand.
It had been fine at first. They'd been makeup buddies, and he would do girl stuff with her, but then he . . . he had to go and ask her on a date! And one date led into another, and now he was offering a third one! And the fireworks meant that she couldn't say no, but she really didn't want to be dating him, but . . . argh! This was so dumb!
She pouted, kicking at a rock with her foot as she walked home. She liked Gideon, sure, but not like that. And now he was forcing her into a second date, and she just . . . she couldn't say no! What was she supposed to do?!
"Ugh," she moaned. "Why did I ever agree to this?" She pulled at her hair anxiously. How was she gonna find a way out? Was there no way out? She groaned, looking up at the sky in frustration.
She needed something to take her mind off of this. Something like . . . like . . .
Like that really cute boy walking in front of her.
She gasped when she saw him. His messy, curly black hair. The way his coppery skin looked in the moonlight and the light of his phone screen. He looked like he was Wendy's age, and she stared. And just kept staring. He was so cute. He was murmuring something under his breath, and that was cute, too.
Well . . . talking with him would probably take her mind off of Gideon . . .
She sped up a little so she was on par with him. It took him a second to notice her—he was staring off into space—but when he did, he jumped slightly. "Oh. Hello," he said, somewhat awkwardly. "Um . . . what's up?"
"Hi. My name's Mabel," she said with a giddy smile. (Ugh. Giddy. Gideon. Why'd she have to think of that word?) "What's yours?"
"Um, Antonio," he answered, looking confused.
"Where're you going?" she asked, skipping along next to him.
He put his phone back in his pocket so he could look at her. "Uh, home."
Was it just her, or did he look like he was a little upset? "Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.
"Um." He looked down. "Yeah. I'm fine. I just—I just got fired, that's all. Nothing big. I'll find another job pretty soon."
She felt a lightbulb go off in her brain. It was the perfect way to spend time with him! "You could find a job at the Mystery Shack," she offered. "My Grunkle Stan runs it. I . . . I could probably help you get a job there."
He glanced ahead for a second, and then he nodded with a smile. "Yeah, that sounds great. Thanks . . . uh, was it Mabel?"
"Yup!" She grinned at him. Oh . . . his eyes were so pretty and dark . . . oh . . . nope. She couldn't afford to get lost in his eyes right now. She just continued to walk with him. He didn't seem to mind the company, at least.
About five minutes later, someone stepped up. She didn't recognize them, but they clearly recognized her. "Oh, my gosh, are you Gideon's girlfriend?" the stranger asked, and she tried to hold back a wince. She just forced a smile on her face.
"Um . . ." If she said yes in front of Antonio, would he not like her? A glance toward him told her that he didn't especially care about the little conversation, but she didn't want to risk it. "Nope. You got the wrong person. Sorry."
Another person stepped up, this one a man. "You are! I saw you, just now!"
She felt a bead of sweat start to drip down her brow as more people surrounded her. Not again! Not in front of Antonio! Her cheeks started to heat up, but all she could do was stutter and try to deny it. "Uh, no, no, really, I'm not—we're not—uh—"
"Hey, can you just leave her alone?" She perked up. That was Antonio. She looked at him, as did the rest of the crowd. "It's kind of late, I bet she probably wants to get home."
Her mouth opened slightly, and she just nodded. The crowd slowly dispersed, until it was just her and Antonio (and a couple people watching from the tree line). "I, uh . . . thank you," she said. He was cute and nice! Oh, she knew who she wanted to have for her big summer romance.
"No problem." He gave her an easygoing grin. "I can't be losing that job offer, after all." She smiled. "My house is this way. So, uh, I guess I'll be seeing you around?"
"Uh, yeah, sure! See ya!"
He left, and her smile stayed on even as he did. Oh . . . she was so happy. Surely nothing bad could come from this, right?
Dipper looked up from the Journal. Was it just him, or did Mabel seem . . . oddly excited? He'd have thought she'd be miserable, what with the Gideon nonsense, but she was staring at the door with a hopeful expression. Not that his sister wasn't ever excited, this was just . . . more so than normal.
Stan came in. "Whatcha waitin' for, Mabel?" he asked, looking at the excited girl, sitting on the counter with her legs dangling back and forth off of it.
"Oh, nothing," she said, trying to feign nonchalance, which immediately put Dipper into alert mode. Mabel didn't really feign anything, as she considered it more or less lying, and, in her eyes, lying was always wrong. Which meant she was doing something weird.
The door opened, and she sprung from the counter to go and look, but it was just another tourist. She visibly deflated, and he frowned. "Mabel, something's off about you. What's going on?" he asked.
"Nothing!" she insisted. "Just . . . uh . . ."
He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "It's a boy, isn't it?"
"It's a boy," she admitted. "He's super cute, though. I met him last night and he needed a job, so . . ." She shrugged with a little smile. "He's better than Gideon."
"Anyone is better than Gideon."
The door opened again, and she perked up. Just someone leaving, this time. She groaned and banged her head on the counter, which looked like it hurt. "When is he gonna show up?" she moaned.
"It might not be today," he pointed out, and she pouted. The door opened again, and judging from Mabel's stifled squeal, this was the boy. He was a Latino kid who looked about fifteen, with a head of messy hair. He looked average-ish to Dipper.
Mabel ran up to him. "You came!"
"Yeah, I came. I need a job, remember? My, uh, dad would kill me if I didn't have one," he said with a grin. "So, uh . . ." He spotted Dipper and gave him a half a wave. "Hi."
"Oh, yeah, right. Dipper, meet Antonio, Antonio, this is my brother Dipper." He waved back, just to be polite, and went back to his book. "Grunkle Stan!" she called, and the old man, who'd left the room again, poked his head back in. "This is Antonio. He wants a job."
Grunkle Stan looked him up and down, then shrugged. "Come on, kiddo, lemme check you out. See if you're fit for the position or whatever."
Antonio visibly swallowed, then nodded and followed him into the other room.
"Anyway," Dipper said, not looking up from his book, "I'm ready to go break up you and Gideon if you're ready for it."
"Okay, sure," she agreed, and they both headed out.
Well. Antonio was working at the Shack now. Dipper wasn't sure what to feel about that.
He knew exactly how excited Mabel was about that fact, since she was practically bouncing off the walls and trying to spend every moment with him. Naturally, she didn't, but . . . still. It was, uh, hard to get used to.
But . . . maybe Antonio wasn't the only teen attracting attention.
He wasn't sure when it started, but Wendy . . . she was super cool, and pretty, and . . . Mabel knew. Of course she knew. And of course she teased him about it. And it was super embarrassing, at least until he figured out that if he teased her back about Leo, she'd shut up and blush.
"Random dance party for no reason!" Mabel screamed. She and Wendy started to dance and laugh to the music. Dipper, staring at Wendy with a longing expression, realized he was writing something on his clipboard. I am pretending to write something down. Wow. Even his subconscious was ragging on him.
"Dipper!" Wendy called, and he jumped, nearly dropping his clipboard as he looked up. "Aren't you gonna get in on this?"
"I, uh, don't really dance," he stammered.
"Yeah, you do," Mabel said, giving him a grin. "Mom used to dress him up in a lamb costume and make him do . . . the lamby dance." Her eyes got all big as she said that.
To prevent himself from blushing, he said, "Now is not the time to talk about the lamby dance."
"Lamby dance?" Antonio asked, walking into the room with one eyebrow raised. "I need to hear more about this."
"Yeah, is there, like, little ears and a tail?" Wendy asked. "Or—"
Mabel, looking at Antonio with an expression probably pretty similar to the one Dipper had just been wearing, said, "Well, uh, Dipper would prance around and sing a song about grazing." She showed them the picture of Baby Dipper and laughed, a little nervously.
Meanwhile, Dipper tried to send the message for her to shut up, which she either wasn't getting or was ignoring. With Mabel, it was hard to tell. However, an evil idea came to mind, and he smirked evilly.
"It wasn't just me," he informed them. "Mabel had a bright pink costume to go with it, and we'd both do it." She went the same bright pink as her costume had been, and both teens smiled. He pulled out the Mabel picture that went with the one she'd showed them.
"Aww, twins in lamb costumes," Antonio cooed. "You must've been so cute."
The cuckoo clock chimed. "Hey, look at that. Quitting time. C'mon, Antonio. The gang's waiting for us," Wendy said.
His mouth fell open, and he looked between the two teens. "Wait. You're friends with Wendy?" he asked Antonio, flabbergasted.
"You're leaving?" Mabel asked, sounding a little disheartened.
"Uh, yeah," Antonio confirmed. "To . . . both questions, I guess. We were friends even before I got a job here. Did you not know that?"
He hoped the shocked expression on his face didn't make the answer too obvious.
"Hey, wait, uh, maybe I could . . . or we could come with you," Dipper suggested. Behind him, Mabel perked up, and she slid across the counter to stand next to him.
"Ooh, I don't know. The group's pretty intense," Wendy said, unconvinced. "How old did you guys say you are?"
"Thirteen," Mabel blurted out, and Dipper tried to hide his surprise. He had been about to say that, and Mabel never lied. She must really like Antonio.
He nodded. "So, technically a teen," he added nervously.
"All right. I like your moxie, kid. Let me get my stuff."
Antonio held out his hand for a fist bump, and Mabel bumped him back with a big smile. "I gotta get my stuff too," he realized, and he jumped after the other teen.
Mabel turned towards Dipper as soon as he left. "I am one million percent on board with this," she told him. "We can hang out with the cool kids!"
"Exactly my thought!"
The teens came back, and they went outside, toward where the rest of the group was doing . . . whatever they were doing. One poor kid was being held upside down with his shirt off, and they were trying to throw jelly beans in his belly button. Wendy came in and totally aced it.
"Wendy!" the whole gang cheered. "Antonio!" That kid with his shirt off just got dropped on the ground.
"Hey, guys, these are our pals from work, Mabel and Dipper," Wendy introduced them.
Mabel, after a moment of hesitation, said, "I chewed my gum so it looks like a brain!" She showed them, then immediately brought it back in, looking at Antonio with a blush.
Dipper grinned at his sister. "She's not much for first impressions. Unlike this guy!" He pointed to himself confidently. He'd been expecting them to respect the confidence, but they just looked at him strangely. "This guy . . ."
An emo-looking kid asked, "So are you two, like, babysitting, or . . ."
"Nah," Antonio said. "They're cool."
Wendy scoffed. "Yeah, come on, Robbie. Guys, this is Lee and Nate." Two guys. One of them, Lee, elbowed the other guy, Nate. "Tambry." A girl with purple hair who was on her phone. "Thompson, who once ate a run-over waffle for 50 cents." The guy with the jelly bean belly button.
"Don't tell them that . . ."
"And Robbie. You can probably figure him out." The emo kid who was strumming his guitar.
He gave them an unimpressed look and said, "Yeah, I'm the guy who spray-painted the water tower."
"Oh, you mean the big muffin," Dipper said, honestly meaning it . . . until Robbie glared at him.
"Um, it's a giant explosion."
They all looked at it. Dipper stood by his earlier assessment. That was definitely a muffin. Nate chuckled. "It kind of does look like a muffin." Both he and Lee laughed, and Robbie glared at him some more. He smiled nervously.
Antonio clapped abruptly, causing Mabel to jump from behind him. "Chop chop, guys. Wendy said she's got big plans, let's get moving!" Everyone jumped in. Dipper headed for shotgun, but Robbie was already there, so he reluctantly climbed in the backseat. Mabel and Leo were both there, making the van very full.
Thompson started the engine, but he said, "Okay, just, before we go, my mom said you guys aren't allowed to punch the roof anymore, so . . ."
They immediately started punching the roof and chanting, "Thompson! Thompson! Thompson!" When Dipper looked at Antonio as he did it, the teen's eyes looked kind of wild and uncontrolled. That ended as soon as he realized he was watching, though.
"It's weird having people back here," Antonio said. "Normally I just sit alone. It's not bad, though."
Dipper gave him a strange look, but while he was doing that, Mabel grabbed his red Sharpie and scratched out the "YOU STINK!" written on there and replaced it with "you look nice today!"
She laughed. "This is gonna blow someone's mind." Then she noticed Antonio looking at her, and she tried to nonchalantly lean against the side. She attempted to scoff, but a bit of hair was blown into her face. She coughed, and Dipper smirked.
Stan slumped on the chair, his eyes glued to the TV. Why was there soft piano playing? "You're watching the black-and-white-period-piece old-lady-boring movie channel," the announcer said. He looked around for the remote, suddenly concerned.
"Kids!" he called. "I can't find the remote, and I refuse to stand up!"
"Stay tuned for the Friday night movie, The Duchess Approves, starring Sturly Stembleburgiss as The Duchess and Grampton St. Rumpterfabble as the irascible coxswain, Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire."
"KIDS!"
It started with a swell of orchestral music and a black-and-white picture of a rose.
"No! NOOOOO!"
They were standing outside the fence of an old store. The neon sign was buzzing loudly, but Mabel didn't care. She stood next to Antonio with a massive grin on her face. "There it is, fellas," Wendy said. "The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn." Lee chuckled, and everyone had their own hushed exclamations of wonder.
Except Dipper. "W-why did they shut it down?" he asked from on her other side. "It's, like, a health code violation, or . . ."
"Try murder!" Lee (or was it Nate?) said.
"Some folks died in there. The place has been haunted ever since," (probably) Nate said with a grin.
Mabel smiled. "This town has such a colorful history!" Antonio looked at her, and her smile widened.
"What? Are . . . are you guys serious?" Dipper asked.
"Yeah! We're all gonna die!" Wendy said, feigning terror, and her voice wavered in a way that reminded Mabel of Dipper's voice cracks. She punched Dipper in the shoulder. "Chill out, man. It's not as bad as it looks."
He looked up, and she followed his gaze to a sign. "No Trespassing," it read. "Violators will be DEAD!" It originally said prosecuted, but someone had spray-painted over it. Well. That was . . . lovely. It was funny when Dipper gulped from next to her.
Then they all jumped the fence. She dropped, nearly into Antonio, and she yelped, backing up with a little blush. After a moment, Dipper was the only one left, cowardly sitting at the top. "Come on, Dipper," Wendy called to him.
He chuckled nervously. "Okay. Okay. Just . . . just got to get a foothold." He pawed at the fence with his foot, not moving other than that.
"Dude, your sister did it," Robbie complained, gesturing to her. She had been sitting on the ground and playing with the dirt, wary of doing much more because of Antonio being there, and she looked up and gave the teen an annoyed look. What did that say about her?!
One of the teens had to climb up on the fence and push him off before he got down. She smiled down at him and waggled a finger at him. He glared at her and fixed his hat before getting to his feet. The rest of the group made their way to the doors, which Robbie tried to pull open, but it didn't work.
Wendy peered through the window and chuckled. "This place is amazing."
"I think it's . . . it's stuck," Robbie said.
"Let me take a crack at it," Dipper suggested.
"Oh, yeah. I can't get in, but I'm sure Junior here is gonna break it down like Hercules," he said sarcastically. Wendy said something to Dipper's defense, but Mabel had stopped paying attention, since it wasn't about her, and Antonio looked really good in this lighting . . .
Okay, yeah, she was barely holding back from staring at him with huge happy eyes, but it turned out fine, since Dipper managed to open the door from the inside even without her help, and she didn't embarrass herself.
That she knew of.
Anyway, she high-fived him on the way in, then they all looked around in the dark. It was super duper cool and spiderwebby. She spotted a "take a penny" thingamabob covered in dust and, when she was sure Antonio wasn't looking, she wiped a little bit and tasted it. "Yep, it's dust."
After a couple minutes, Wendy found and turned on the lights, and Dipper asked, "So, what are we gonna do now?"
"Anything we want," the teen replied with a grin.
The twins exchanged excited looks.
They all had a food fight with the expired food. Lee and Nate hit each other with cat litter bags. They put mints in a Pitt Cola bottle and cheered as it exploded. She followed Antonio and ate the super old pastries with him. She was laughing and walking around the corner with him when her eyes fell on a certain shelf.
Smile Dip.
"Oh, my gosh! Smile Dip!" she exclaimed, walking up to it. He turned around to look at her with a crusty old donut in his hand. "I thought this stuff was banned in America!" She glanced back at him. Would he think it was immature of her to eat it? She grabbed one pack. One couldn't do any harm, could it?
"Hey, that looks pretty good," he commented. He grinned at her. "Wanna have a competition? The one who eats the most wins!" She returned the grin, and they both plopped down on the floor and ripped open packs. She didn't even bother with the stick and just poured it into her mouth, and she spotted him doing the same.
Before long, they were both hallucinating about sparkles and pink and dogs speaking a backwards language.
Dipper was eating ice cream with Wendy on top of one of the shelves. Thompson ran over in front of them to do something, and Wendy laughed. "Thompson!" Then she turned to him. "Dipper, this night is, like, legendary."
"Really?" he asked hopefully.
"Just look around. The guys are bonding." (They were shoving ice cubes in Thompson's pants.) "I've never even seen Tambry look up from her phone this long." He watched her do so for like a second. "And Antonio and your sister seem to be going nuts with that Smile Dip."
He turned to look at the two of them. Mabel was groaning and laying on the floor, covered in pink powder, but she was still working on it. Antonio hardly looked fazed, except for the fact he had the same pink powder all down the front of his shirt and his eyes were going different directions. He was still shoving more in his mouth, though.
"You know, Dipper, I wasn't sure if you could hang with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age," Wendy complimented him.
"Yes. Yes, I am," he said without looking away from her. He then proceeded to shove his ice cream into his hair because he missed his mouth. He dropped it down a little further and just managed to smear it across his entire cheek.
One of the guys called, "Hey, guys, we need more ice."
"I'm on it!" He hopped off the shelf and confidently walked over to the ice freezer. He opened it up and grabbed a bag, but something moving dragged his attention a little higher up. There was a humanoid shape with eyes and a mouth, but there was no skin or muscle or bones, just a brain and veins growling at him. The eyes stretched out to look at him closer.
He did the reasonable thing. He screamed and threw the ice bag behind him, pushing the door closed on the monster. He stood with his back to the door, panting, and after a moment, he cautiously opened it again, but it was gone. He stared at the empty area and scratched his head in confusion.
"What was that?" one of the teens (either Lee or Nate) said as the whole group walked up, except Antonio and Mabel, since they were just eating. "I thought I heard some lady screaming back here."
"You freaking out, kid?" the other one asked, raising his arms mockingly.
He tried to hide his nervous shudder. "No. No, I'm cool. Everything's cool."
"Then what's all this about?" Robbie asked, pointing to the ice bag on the floor.
"Oh! That's, uh . . . uh . . . uh . . ." He searched for a way out of the conversation, and he found it with a gasp. "Hey, look! Dancy Pants Revolution! The game that tricks people into exercising!" They all ran over to check it out, and he chuckled nervously. "Yeah, let's all . . . let's all go play that." He looked over his shoulder at the ice machine again before running over.
Thompson was having some trouble playing. Everyone else was glued on it, though he was still looking at the dreaded ice machine. Wendy elbowed him. "Wow! He's really terrible at this."
He laughed again, nervously. "Yeah, yeah, that's . . . that's great." His eyes fell to the reflection and he started. Their reflections were not their actual reflections, but skeletons. He whimpered and rubbed at his eyes, and when he stopped, it was gone. "I'll be right back," he said, and then he ran off.
He stood in front of the phone, sweating and waiting. "Come on, Grunkle Stan, pick up!" he said through gritted teeth. He groaned. "Ugh! What is he doing?"
The phone was ringing, but Stan was too focused on the screen. "I don't care about dukes or commoners of His Royal Highness Lionel of Cornwall," the Duchess said. "I'm not afraid anymore, Mother."
"Duchess, I forbid you," Elizabeth replied.
Stan grabbed his ice cream again and started shoveling it into his mouth without tearing his eyes away from the movie. "I may be a duchess, but I'm also a woman!" the Duchess shot back, her eyes watering. She pulled off her hat to let her hair blow dramatically in the wind.
"Yes! Yes!" he shouted, slamming his fists on the arms of his chair and feeling his own eyes watering. "In your face, Elizabeth!" He sobbed. "It's just like my life!" He paused. "In a way."
The phone stopped ringing, though he wasn't paying attention.
Dipper abandoned the phone and ran to find Mabel. Antonio wasn't there, maybe at the bathroom, so he felt comfortable telling her. "Mabel, I need your advice," he said. "We're hanging out in a haunted convenience store, I can't get a hold of Grunkle Stan, and if I try to say anything about it to any of these guys, they'll just think I'm a scared little kid or something!"
She gurgled, and he noticed she was foaming at the mouth, which was very disturbing. At that moment, Antonio came back, and he did a double take upon seeing her. "Whoa, Mabel, are you okay?" She didn't respond, though.
Antonio wasn't looking too good, either. It looked like he was having trouble keeping himself from going cross-eyed, his vision was that glazed, and he was stumbling around. His speech was kind of slurred, and he must've been having some kind of headache, because he clutched his head and groaned. "Maybe this was a bad idea . . ." he murmured.
"How many of these things did you guys eat?!" Dipper demanded, glaring at Antonio and shaking his sister.
"Bleventeen . . ." Mabel said.
"Ni-nineteen for me," the teen said, turning away like he was gonna vomit.
"Oh, man. Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man!" he said frantically, shaking his hands in worry.
Antonio seemed to get over it, because, looking really worn out and confused, he said, "I . . . I'll deal with it. We're fine. Fiiiiiine . . ." He must not have actually been fine, because he slumped to the floor, and Dipper barely held himself from shrieking.
"Whoa! Guys! You might wanna see this," Robbie called, and everyone crowded around two silhouettes done in chalk.
"Then the rumors are true," Nate/Lee said softly.
Dipper gulped.
"Dude, I dare you to lie down in it," Robbie said.
"Good idea. Go lie down in it," Nate/Lee said, elbowing Lee/Nate.
The teen chuckled and said in a mocking voice, "I'm a dead body! Look!"
He was about to stick his foot in the silhouette when Dipper, who was biting his lip in worry, said, "Wait! Maybe let's not do that," he suggested. They all looked at him with various expressions, though Wendy just looked disappointed in him.
"This guy's scared!" Nate/Lee mocked, pointing at him.
"All I'm saying is, why tempt the fates? I mean, what if this place really is . . ." He paused, knowing how badly this was gonna come out, but they had to know, right? ". . . haunted?"
They all booed at him, and he mentally winced. "Just take it down a notch, Captain Buzzkill," Robbie said.
"But I thought I was Dr. Funtimes," he said sadly.
"Well, you're acting like Captain Buzzkill, right?"
All of the other teens nodded at once, and when he looked to Wendy for help, she uncomfortably looked away and said, "Yeah. Little bit." He sighed in defeat.
"Status update: 'Trapped in store with insane 9-year-old'," Tambry said as she typed.
"I'm not a nine-year-old!" he snapped, walking backwards into one of the silhouettes and falling into it. "I'm 13, technically a teen!"
A low sound, almost like a chuckle, sounded around him, and he was reminded of the creepy stuff he'd seen. The chalk lines around him started lighting up a bright lime green, and a blue glow surrounded him. The lights turned off again, except for the slushie machine, and Tambry, who'd been texting, disappeared into thin air, dropping her phone to the floor.
Dipper grabbed the phone and read it. "'Status update: Aaaaaahhhhhhh.'" There were a whole bunch of misplaced emojis, too, but the TV static caused him to look up at it, where Tambry was stuck in the TV and banging against the glass.
Everyone screamed.
She couldn't seem to hear them, but Antonio groaned behind him, pulling himself back up to his feet, another packet in his hand. He shoved the stick in his mouth again, looking kind of sick, and he disappeared, too, though Dipper couldn't see where he went.
"C'mon, everyone, we gotta go!" someone shouted. "Thompson!"
Thompson was still playing Dancy Pants Revolution. "Wait!" he shouted. "I've almost got the high score!" They watched as he froze in midair and disappeared, reappearing on the screen, getting bombarded with colorful arrows.
"Forget him! Let's go!" Robbie shouted, pointing to the door, which shut closed. Wendy ran forward and attempted to open it, but it was locked. "Out of my way!" Robbie grabbed the cash register and tried to throw it at the door, but it vanished, too, and green light covered everything around them.
"Everybody, wait," Dipper said, pulling out the Journal. "Whatever is doing this has to have some kind of reason. Maybe if we could just figure out what it is, then they'll let us out of here."
"'Ooh! They'll let us out of here!'" Robbie said mockingly. "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense."
"I don't know, guys. Maybe he's got a point," Wendy said.
"Yeah, right," Nate/Lee said sarcastically. "I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about its feelings!" He vanished and appeared on a cereal box, and they all watched in horror as he got attacked with a spoon.
"Lee!" the other guy shouted, so apparently he was Nate and the other guy was Lee. "Okay, okay. I'm with you, kid. One hundred percent, man." He backed up and wrung the sweat out of his hat, which was a little gross.
Behind him, Mabel rose into the air, glowing green and her eyes all white. With a deep male voice that was definitely not her own, she said, "Welcome!" They all shrieked.
"They got Mabel!" Dipper yelped.
"Welcome to your graves, young trespassers!" the possessed Mabel said. It laughed evilly.
"We're super sorry for hanging out in your store," Wendy apologized, terrified.
"Yeah, can we just go now and leave forever?!"
The ghost wasn't paying attention, though. It was staring at empty air, looking terrified. A second later, Antonio reappeared by the Smile Dip, clutching his head and looking very confused. He looked up at the floating Mabel and yelped, jumping in line with the others.
"How'd you come back?!" Nate asked in shock.
Antonio shrugged, looking very alarmed.
"U-uh . . . okay. You're free to go," the ghost said. The doors swung open with a beep. "But before you leave, hot dogs are now half off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs!"
Robbie and Nate screamed, running for the door, but it slammed closed on them before they made it. "Just kidding about the hot dog sale!" the ghost barked.
"Just let us out of here already!" Nate shouted, making Robbie have to hold him back.
"I don't like your tone!" Then Nate disappeared, too, and he reappeared as a hot dog, spinning along with the others. "It begins!"
Everything started to vibrate, then it floated into the air, and so did they. It was a moment before Dipper even realized he was floating, though falling was a better term. Everything fell towards the ceiling, and he nearly got crushed by the surveillance TV with Tambry in it. A bag of chips fell on Wendy's head, and Antonio was nearly crushed by a shelf.
"Welcome to your home for all eternity!" the ghost boomed.
"What do we do?" both Wendy and Antonio asked him.
He was overwhelmed, but with the slushie machine heading to crush both him and Wendy, he shouted, "Duck!"
"Quick, in there!" Wendy said, pointing to an open cabinet. All three of them rushed over there to hide, but there wasn't enough room for Antonio, too, so he ran off to find another hiding spot as Wendy shut it closed. They both panted in the darkness, and then Wendy asked, "What do they want from us?"
"Revenge, I guess?"
"What did we do wrong?"
"Okay, let's try to figure out the pattern here. Why was each person taken?" he asked, because breaking down the problems always helped him some. "Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic . . . it doesn't make any sense!"
"Yeah. I mean, those are all normal teenage things."
The lightbulb went off in his brain, and he picked his head back up. "Wendy, say that last part again."
"'Normal teenage things'?" she repeated, confused.
"Of course! Stay here until I get back," he told her, and he kicked it open and crawled out. Antonio, who was hiding in the corner (surrounded by scorch marks, for some reason) noticed him climbing out and apparently decided to go back in, since there was now a vacated spot. Meanwhile, he headed for the ghost, who was floating, surrounded by food spinning in circles. "Hey, ghost!" he shouted.
It turned around Mabel's head completely backwards, then her body. He mentally recoiled. How did her neck not snap from that? He was surrounded in a green glow, and he told it, "I've got something to tell you." He hovered up to be on eye level, and then he shouted, "I'm not a teenager!"
The glow vanished, and things stopped floating. Mabel was left hanging in midair with an old man ghost holding her by the hair. He laughed and said, "Well, why didn't you say so?" He dropped Mabel, and she fell in a pile of junk. "How old did you say you were?"
"I'm . . ." He glanced back at Wendy and Antonio, peeking out of the cabinet, and he sighed. "We're twelve, technically not a teen."
"When we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store," the old lady ghost said. Ma, her name tag read.
"Always sassafrassin' customers with their boomy boxes and disrespectful short pants!" the other ghost, Pa, said. "So we decided to up and ban them. But they retaliated with this newfangled rap music."
"The lyrics, they were so . . . hateful! It was so shocking, we were stricken down with double heart attacks. That's why we hate teenagers so much, don't we, honey?" They nuzzled noses, and he winced inside at the story.
"But they're my friends," he said sadly. "Isn't there anything I can do to help them?"
They looked at each other lovingly, and Pa said, "There is one thing. Do you know any funny little dances?"
Glancing back at Wendy, he dubiously asked, "Uh . . . is there anything else I can do?"
"NO!" Pa screamed, going buff and fiery and angry.
"Okay, okay, okay!" he yelped, holding up his hands in submission. "Um, well . . . I do know . . . the lamby-lamby dance," he said uncomfortably, "but, uh, but I can't really do it without a lamb costume." Pa snapped his fingers and he was wearing a lamb costume. "Oh! Well, there it is. And it's a duet, but my sister can't really . . ." He snapped his fingers again, and then Mabel looked considerably more lucid and was wearing a costume herself.
"Aw, what?" she asked, looking down at her bright pink self and then back up at Antonio.
"We have to do it, okay?" he hissed at her, and she pouted, but stepped up next to him anyway. They both took a deep breath and started.
"Well, who wants a lamby, lamby, lamby?" Dipper sang.
"I do! I do!" Mabel responded. "So go up and greet your mammy, mammy, mammy."
"Hi there! Hi there!" he said, uncomfortable but trying not to show it.
"So march, march, march around the daisies," they sang together, and both of the ghosts (and Wendy and Antonio, he sadly noted) were really enjoying. "Don't, don't, don't you forget about the baaaaaaby," they finished, striking poses and forcing smiles on their faces.
Pa smiled down at them. "That was some fine girly dancing, you two," he said. "Your friends are free." The doors swung open, and they were in their normal clothes again.
"Well, I don't think you have to worry about us coming back, so . . ." He was cut off by the ghosts dissipating, and then he realized they were actually standing on the ceiling, and they fell down with a scream each. Everyone crawled out of various spaces, as if nothing had ever been out of the ordinary.
"What . . . what happened after everything went crazy?" Lee asked.
"You are not going to believe it," Wendy said excitedly. "The ghosts appeared, and the twins had to . . ." He looked at her, embarrassed, and she coughed. "And, um, Dipper just grabbed a bat and started beating ghosts down, left and right."
"And Mabel . . . um . . . she started throwing stuff at the ghosts," Antonio added, glancing at her. "It was super epic."
Wendy nodded vigorously. "Yeah, and then the ghosts got all scared and ran away like a couple of little girls. It was insane." All the teens cheered and mentioned about how cool it was and whatever, but Dipper smiled at Wendy gratefully. She did her lips are sealed gesture, and he did it too.
Outside, with everyone sleeping in the van, she told him, "Well, I'm probably scarred for life."
"Yeah, that was pretty crazy," he agreed.
"Think I'm gonna go stare at a wall for a while and rethink everything. Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack, okay?"
He laughed nervously. "Next time? Y-yeah! Let's . . . let's hang out at the Shack." He chuckled and walked backwards, jumping into the van. "Next time." He climbed into the back with Mabel and Antonio, both of them looking kind of nauseous.
Mabel groaned and read the message she'd written earlier. "What kind of sick joke is this?"
And they drove away.
Orchestral music played, and Stan smiled at the TV with a wonderful sense of joy. "Ah, the wedding. I've waited so long for this. Oh, look at her in that dress." The door burst open, and an unfortunately familiar face showed up. The crowd gasped. "Count Lionel? What's he doing here?"
"I've come to reclaim my bride!" he declared.
"You had your chance at the cotillion, you!" Stan screamed, only to be mimicked by another character. "That's what I'm saying!" He screamed in frustration and threw the television out of the window, and sticking his head outside, he found the twins staring at him. "Uh . . . couldn't find the remote."
Woo! More Gravity Falls stuff!
If you're coming here from the Consequences of Losing Globnar, my other fic, welcome back! If this is you stumbling onto me for the first time, read the aforementioned fic lol.
This is a collaboration, so a massive thanks to the core of justice for the idea. And another huge thanks to all of you delightful readers, because there's no way I'd still be writing these things if not for you. Thank you everyone, and I hope you enjoy!