Chapter 1

"So, are you excited to be going home and seeing your family for a few days?" Avi's voice echoes in my ear. I barely hear her question amidst the bustling of the airport around me. "Chloe?"

Calling my name brings me back to reality. "Sorry," I say, "my brain is kind of all over the place right now. What did you ask again?"

"I just asked if you were excited to go home and see everyone," Avi says softly, concern etching itself across her face.

"Oh…yeah, I am," I say softly, not sure really the emotions that are rushing through my head. "I mean it's the first time I've seen them since I moved in with you. So yeah…I'm happy I get to see them." My eyes again fixate on the movement within the airport as I let out a long sigh.

"Are you okay?" Avi asks gently, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I let out a sigh and nod, "Yeah, just airports aren't exactly my favorite place in the world. There's just so much…and sending a multi-ton machine into the air freaks me out. I hate flying."

"I understand that. I really do. You remember me telling you about the summer I watched nothing but airplane crash documentaries?" Avi chuckles softly and I nod, a small smile pulling at the corner of my mouth. She rubs my shoulder, "You're not going alone. I'm going with you. We'll navigate this mess together." She smiles at me and I can't help but smile back.

I glance up at the flight status board. "Did Mom seem weird to you at all when we talked on the phone?" I blurt out.

"I barely talked to her," Avi says, slightly confused by the question. "But yeah, I guess she seemed a bit anxious over the phone. Why?"

"I've lived with you for a year and a half," I say, resting my elbows on my knees. "Never has she asked me when I would come visit or offered to make plans or any of that. I mean we talked of course, but never suggesting I come visit. So why is she suddenly so adamant about me coming to see her now? She set this up literally a week before Christmas for us to leave the day after. And we know she only offered for you to come because she knew you would be the only way I'd actually go."

"Maybe she realized that she hasn't made the effort and she's trying to be better?" Avi suggests. "Maybe she's anxious because she realized what she did and she's hoping you forgive her?"

"I guess," I say with an empty voice. "Some just feels off…or that there is more to it than her wanting to see her family."

I let out a sigh as the intercom calls out, "Flight 341 is now boarding."

"That's us," Avi says as she grabs her bag and hands me mine. She stands up and puts a hand on my shoulder, "Everything is going to be fine. This will be a great trip."

"Those have been your famous last words before, you know," I say with my usual snark. Avi laughs as we make our way to the gate.

It's after midnight by the time I pull the rental car into my parents' driveway. Mom had already called me and left a key under the mat so we could just go in and sleep in my old room. I find the key and open the door, hanging the key up and locking up before following Avi up the stairs and into my room. Avi is frozen just inside the door and as I step into the room, I immediately see why.

"It's so empty," Avi whispers. I walk in behind her and gasp, dropping my bag to the floor. "I know you said your parents were cleaning out your room and putting your stuff in storage but I guess I didn't expect it to be so…different." I stare at the empty furniture, the bed actually made with clean sheets, the closet with empty hangers. The walls, once covered with posters and doodles from my graffiti pen are completely blank and painted over. Even the faint weed and cigarette smell that has characterized my room since I was fifteen is gone. But not only are the things gone…so are the memories. I walk over to the shelf where my old tape recorder sat with the recording Max did the day of my dad's funeral. I glance at the empty space under my bed that used to house the box of Rachel's things I would pull out and hold onto on hard nights. Pictures of Max, Dad, and Rachel are all gone. I feel myself shaking as I walk over to my bed and sit down.

"Why would they want me to come here?" I whisper. "Why would they take a room filled with everything that brought me comfort and empty it and force me to stay in it? It's like my memories…everything I went through meant nothing to them. That they simply want me out of their lives."

I notice Avi walk over and sit down on the bed beside me. "I'm sure that's not what they meant to do," she says calmly. She puts a hand on mine and I pull away. "They did consult with you about it first and they said they would put everything in storage. You okayed it. I know it's jarring to see but-"

"How can you say that?!" I say as I shove Avi off the bed and onto the floor. She looks up at me with a shocked expression and I immediately realize what I've done. "I-I'm sorry…I don't know why I did that…I need to get out of here."

"Hey," Avi says as she stands up and grabs my arm. I keep myself turned away from her but she walks around to face me. "What's going through your head right now?" I start shaking as I fall to my knees and sob. Avi kneels down next to me and holds me close. "I'm here, Chlo'. I'm here."

"The memories are still here," I sob. "I see where Max and I played our pirate games. I can see myself on the floor holding the tape recorder that Max left a message on the day of my dad's funeral. I was at the computer when I saw the article that Rachel was officially missing. I was on my phone on the bed when I got the text saying they found her…where I had been laying since Max's funeral the day before. Maybe I just wasn't ready to come back…and especially to see my room all bare." Silence fills the room for a moment as Avi just holds me tighter and rubs my back.

"I know it's hard," Avi says in a low tone. "I wish I knew how to help. But I am here and I will help you every step of the way. I love you."

"Even after I shoved you off the bed in rage?" I ask with a sob.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily," Avi says. I breathe a sigh of relief as I burry my face into her shoulder. "Why don't we go to bed? I think sleep will probably be the best thing for you to try right now." I don't even try to argue as Avi helps me up and we walk over to the bed. A few more tears escape as I lay down and Avi just pulls me close to her again. I spend some time staring at the blank walls before finally drifting off to sleep.