Chapter 1 Changing Fates
"I'm not asking you to take a side Severus, I'm just asking you to not join a fucking madman who's hellbent on eradicating everyone of my birth, myself included, is that too much to ask?" Lily thundered, incensed that her ex-friend is still set to join the Dark Lord.
She'd heard the rumors for months that Severus intended to take the mark after Graduation, and that within a year's time he'd be a fully fledged death eater. She'd grown sick and tired of hearing the rumors, so she sought out the man himself and asked to hear it directly from the metaphorical horse's mouth.
"And what would you have me do otherwise? Join up with your lot? Join the bloody leader of the light that was content to cover up murder?" Severus challenged, invading her personal space and forcing her to take a step back. "Fuck him. Fuck Dumbledore, and fuck anything to do with him. He's a slimy, dirtbag is what he—"
"Oh for fuck's sake, stop it Severus, that's not what I'm asking and you bloody well know it!" Lily shouted back, stepping up to him. "I am asking, nicely, to not join You-Know-Who, and do something, anything, that doesn't involve committing genocide against people like me! I'm not asking you to join Dumbledore!"
She sighed heavily, and took a few steps back, head falling into her hands as another tired groan escaped her lips. Her duties as Head Girl have gotten her down, the stress in her voice and the bags under her eyes are rather telling of that. Then again, that wasn't exactly unexpected considering that Potter was Head Boy and naturally that meant Lily'd be shouldering more of the burden heaped upon Hogwarts' two student leaders.
"If I see you out there Severus, I won't hesitate, you know that, right? I'm will be fighting for my fucking right to live, and my parents and Petunia's too—" he scoffed at the inclusion of her sister, but with an almighty effort, she ignores it and soldiers on, "—I will be fighting to kill, Severus, and with your side's stupid, bloody masks I won't give two shits who I'm cursing so long as the person I'm fighting is wearing them. And I…I know we're no longer friends, but I desperately do not want to have to do that to you, and if I know you at all, I know you wouldn't hurt me either, would you Severus?"
Severus hesitates, for a moment he's tempted to throw her a jibe on her comment about fighting to kill. He's tempted to knock her down a peg or two and call her out on her hypocrisy, but then she'd do the same with him and they'd end up as they had in the dying months of their time as friends, fighting and screaming in each other's faces until they'd gone blue. Fighting to kill my arse, you've hated Dark Magic for as long as you've worn that stupid, fucking, red and gold robe, you bloody hypocrite.
"I wouldn't hurt you," Severus said quietly, and it's the truth, he wouldn't. He'd rather die than harm Lily directly, but she doesn't understand that this is his only path forward, his only path to greatness. She simply doesn't get that Severus has little choice in the matter, and more than that, she's never wanted to understand the reasons behind his choices.
"I know you wouldn't, but if you're fighting for a cause that wants people like me extinct, Sev—" his name tastes like ash, but she utters it nonetheless, hoping it'd help her get through to him, to make him see sense, "—Do something, anything else, literally anything, and we can avoid this. It's not too late to turn away. Because I don't want to see you dead, or incarcerated when this war ends, Sev, I genuinely don't. And that's the way this war will end, with you dead or locked up, or me and my kind gone entirely."
"And what would you have me do otherwise?" Severus asked bitterly. "There is…nothing, in this country for me beyond him. I have nothing else, don't you get that? There is nothing else for me, not a sniff of an opportunity without the power and connections being associated with the Dark Lord affords. Don't you see that this is my one ticket to success, a path to greatness and power and—"
"So you'd be willing to kill me over it, then," Lily said sharply, daring him to disagree.
"Of course not, Lily," Severus stammered, "I—I'd never—"
"Well that's what will happen, Severus, and if you're gonna try to delude yourself into thinking that you can somehow save me if your side wins then you're definitely mistaken." Lily barked out a sharp laugh, sounding way too similar to Sirius Black for Severus' liking—an indicator that she's been spending a lot of time with him and that lot in recent months. "I'd rather die, than submit to that madman, and if your side wins…could you bear to see me dead, quite possibly by your hand—"
"Don't say that," Severus said between gritted teeth, cutting across her. "You won't, I won't let you die… you can't—"
"Did you hear a word of what I just, fucking said Severus? I said I'd rather die than submit to your so-called Dark Lord! He's a tyrannical madman and I would never surrender, he'd kill me on the spot anyways! If my side loses, Severus, don't delude yourself into thinking you can keep me alive, or more importantly, that I'd even want to be alive! Get that through your thick skull!"
She can see it in his eyes, he can't deny it any longer either. Knows that if he gets what he wants, that if his side wins, there is no future for Lily Evans, and that, that he cannot live with. She knows it too. In the span of no more than ten seconds, perhaps double that number of emotions flitter across his sharp, angular face. Pain, resignation, realization, confusion, bitterness, before finally settling on a sense of loss she'd rarely if ever seen on him. The covers on his eyes are gone, blown off by the wind and torn to tiny ribbons that flutter away in the breeze. He can finally see now, what he'd been lying to himself about for far too long.
Finally, Lily thought. Finally I've gotten through that impervious skull of yours.
"And what would you have me do instead?" he asked quietly, finally stealing a glance at her.
"Anything. Anything but that," she replied swiftly, as if her answer had been well-rehearsed. "Be a Herbologist, or a Potions Master, or I don't know…a bloody Thunderbird Rearer(that gives him an idea) or something, anything but an agent of death. And if you can't get away from You-Know-Who…then just fuck off to America or anywhere else, you'll find something Sev, I know you will. You're too bloody talented and gifted for someone over there to pass up!"
She noticed a slight flush rise up on his cheeks at her compliment but she doesn't pay it any mind, instead focusing on his eyes and being pleasantly surprised to see that he was at least considering what she was saying. She hardened her gaze, set her sharp jaw in a firm line,
"Voldemort will fall, Severus, and I do not want you to be caught up in that, because we were once friends—"
"Best friends," he amends.
"Right. Best friends. And while we're no longer…" she gestured animatedly between them, "You know, friends—"
"We weren't even on speaking terms before tonight," Severus said bitterly.
"That too," she agreed. "But…you were once my best friend, Sev, and I can comfortably say I'd rather not see you spend the rest of your life behind bars, or worse yet, die because you chose the wrong side in this war. I'd never ask you to join Albus and my lot, I understand perfectly why you'd despise…James, and Sirius, and the rest…" he rolls his eyes, and Lily is almost tempted to laugh, but doesn't, "All I want is your assurance that I will not see you out there, fighting against me, because this war would only end one way otherwise, and I can't bear to see you die because it's you or me, and I don't want either option to pass, alright?—"
"I know," said Severus, holding up his hand. Her words cease. "I know. And I…I'll try figure something out, but…I fear that if I back out now, if I leave…if I send in a resignation letter and try to just…walk away then I'll die, Lily, my life will be forfeit—"
"Then don't walk, run," Lily said, as if it were the most simple thing in the world. "I've seen your arm—" her eyes dart down to his left forearm, which is still bare, "—I know you haven't…fully committed, in that sense, otherwise I wouldn't even be here. But if you can't quit, then just…run, get the fuck out of town and don't look back. Voldemort and his lot don't deserve someone as talented as you Sev, so find something elsewhere, like America or something, and make a name for yourself that way, you're too smart to not be snatched up…"
Lily's words rang true with Severus, and something seemed to switch on within him, a lightbulb slowly flickering to life in the pitch black cavern of his mind. When they left that abandoned classroom that day, Severus' mind was reeling with revelations and previously-unseen thoughts, it would also be the last time either of them spoke in person for years. As the years passed, they'd start communicating again via letter, and then by phone, but that fateful day in their seventh year was the last time either would speak for quite some time.
Lily, staying true to her values, joined the fight against Voldemort shortly after graduating, and she'd marry her fiancee James too, and have a child with him, Harry Potter. She'd join the Order of the Phoenix with James, the Marauders, and some more of her classmates too, and she'd fight against the monster that wanted her, and those like her wiped from the face of the earth. Those last four months of school, she spent training with James and the rest of the Marauders, improving her dueling abilities and preparing to join the war that raged beyond the castle's walls.
Severus on the other hand, spent the last four months of his time as a Hogwarts Seventh Year making plans for his escape to America. Oh, he'd been making plans before that, loads of them, planning out how he'd gain the Dark Lord's favor and rise in the ranks of the Death Eaters…now, he was solely focused on getting out, and making something of himself other than being a faceless minion in the Dark Lord's growing army. He'd never admit it to Lily, nor to himself either, but the fact of the matter was that talk he had that day with Lily was enlightening; and now, now, he could see what the woolen covers over his eyes had obscured for so long, and could envision the terrible future that would await him, and Lily, should he have joined the Dark Lord. He could see it so clearly now, what might have befallen him and the terrible life of servitude he'd have to endure had he taken that stupid-looking mark. Severus spent a lot of those last four months ruminating all the terrible possibilities that could have befallen either himself or Lily had he joined.
Not a day after Graduation had passed when Severus packed his bags, emptied his bank account, and hopped on a plane to America. He executed his plan flawlessly, leaving in the dead of night with the Death Eaters none-the-wiser until they noticed he hadn't turned up for his initiation ceremony. Unbeknownst to Severus, Voldemort didn't really care much that one of his prospective followers had turned tail and ran, the Dark Lord scoffed at the loss of one prospective recruit, thinking it to be of no significance. There were plenty more fish in the sea for Voldemort to choose from, so he didn't really care that one got away, especially since he was a poor, halfblood at that, who wouldn't bring any financial or political backing to his cause.
Severus landed in Flagstaff, Arizona, less than thirty six hours after graduating from Hogwarts. He'd used up a lot of his deceased parents' money in the flight over, but now with the prospect of a stable job on the horizon he hoped he'd be able to gain it back soon enough and get back on his feet. For the last two months of his time at Hogwarts, he'd been in contact with the owner of a Thunderbird Sanctuary in Flagstaff, and hoped to secure a job there after graduation. His exceptionally high marks in Care of Magical Creatures ever since third year, Os across the board, certainly helped his case and was enough to convince the owner of the Sanctuary to hire him without him even having graduated yet.
For the next five years, he honed his craft, perfecting the art of raising and nurturing Thunderbirds at all stages of their development. If he'd have told his sixth year self that after graduating, he'd leave England for pastures new in America and become a Thunderbird rearer, he wouldn't have believed it. But now in his mid-twenties, Severus loved his job and couldn't imagine doing anything else, oh, and he was pleasantly surprised to receive word back home that Lily was safe, and that her side had won the war. She'd even had a child—a son, with James—which he still winced at, but she was a mother and he could at least be happy for her about that, even though she'd chosen to have a child with an ignoramus like Potter of all people.
After the war ended in 1982 and Voldemort was vanquished, Lily and Severus got into contact once more. What started with exchanging the odd letter once every couple months became weekly phone calls and promises to meet up in person that never came to pass. During their phone calls, they talked about pretty much anything and everything under the sun. From Lily's marital ups and downs, she was careful to avoid referencing her husband by name; to Severus' exploits as a Thunderbird-rearer and what his job on the reserve was like. One thing that was never spoken of, though, was Severus' romantic life, he was always careful to deflect and evade whenever Lily asked if he was seeing anyone, or had gone on any dates. Eventually, Lily stopped asking at all, sensing his discomfort talking about anything that was remotely romantic. There had been women in his life, of course, but none he really seemed to click with, and none he really wanted to settle down with. He never told Lily of it though, and he was thankful she had enough sense to stop asking after many deflections and 'it's none of your businesses' on his part.
After a few years' work on the sanctuary, Severus' mentor and the man who'd hired him, Mister Whitehall, passed away after a protracted battle against Leukemia in the summer of 1984. Severus had risen through the ranks to become his right-hand man and chief assistant, so with his passing he now ran the sanctuary and all its affairs. Under his stewardship, the sanctuary expanded, now boasting enough room to host over forty Thunderbirds and a slew of smaller, magical birds to boot. Even a couple Phoenixes stopped in from time to time to interact with their much-larger cousins. He even managed to open up a side-gig in which he sold plucked Thunderbird feathers to wand makers across North America which further helped his success.
While things were on the up and up for Severus—who ran the sanctuary outright, Lily wasn't able to share in the fortunes he'd reaped. Her career as a Spell-crafter had hit a dead end, being a woman and a Muggleborn would only take her so far despite being considered a war heroine. 'Some ceilings were just too tough to punch through'—she said, and worse than that, her marriage with James had been breaking down and the two were in the process of divorcing after seven years spent wedded to one another. She now had a son and a daughter, five year old Harry, and three year old Azalea; and with her impending divorce with James, she was struggling to find arrangements that would allow her to keep herself afloat financially to care for her two young children. Lily's floundering career as a Spell-crafter was not anywhere near enough these days to provide for her children and give them the childhood she'd fought so hard for; coupled with her marital troubles with James, she truly was in a pickle.
In a bold bit of inspiration, Severus suggested she pack up her things and come to live with him at the sanctuary, suggesting that maybe a change of scenery would be beneficial to her career and to her children. Lily promised she'd think it over and conveyed her gratitude for his generous offer. For a long while, he was met with radio silence from Lily, and their weekly phone calls ceased. After about a month of absolutely nothing, Lily called him again, saying she had to get her affairs concerning her now-annulled marriage in order, and that she and her children were hopping on a plane that very night. Severus struggled to keep the excitement out of his voice at the prospect of seeing his old friend again after all these years.
After doing his evening rounds and checking up on all his birds, Severus hopped into his Ford F-150 and drove off to Flagstaff's airport to await Lily's arrival. Thankfully, Lily didn't keep him waiting long, he'd only just parked his truck when he saw her again, for the first time in close to eight years.
She wasn't alone, of course, Harry walked by her side, pulling along his luggage bag that was adorably small, and Azalea sat atop the luggage on the cart Lily pushed. The glass doors of the arrivals terminal slid open and Lily's green eyed gaze finally found his; the smile that tugged her lips upwards sent his heart into raptures for the first time in a long time, something many first dates over the last eight years had failed to do. As Lily and her two children came closer, talking with both her son and daughter while gesturing to Severus himself as she approached; Severus couldn't help but notice that in the eight years they'd been apart, Lily had changed so much. She seemed taller than she was in school, her hair seemed a shade or two duller as well, and no amount of glamours could disguise the bags beneath her eyes that reeked of a lack of energy. Yet, her smile was as genuine as he'd ever seen it, tired, but oh, so true; and her eyes hadn't lost their sparkle either.
Turning his gaze to her two children, he noted that Azalea was a dead-ringer for her mum, only sporting James' eyes and maybe his nose; Harry on the other hand looked just like James, but his eyes were exactly like Lily's, and there was undisguised excitement on his face as he, his sister and mum approached. Severus pushed off the hood of his truck he'd been leaning on and smiled too as they approached. Many years spent interacting with Thunderbird on a daily basis, having his life revolve around interacting and caring for the surprisingly open and genuine creatures had tempered his defensiveness and closed-off nature to the world. The Thunderbirds and his friends at the reserve had helped with that, and now, he was practically a new man and unrecognizable from the shy, reserved and snappish boy who had a temper hotter than the sun if you pissed him off enough. He still had that temper, and he was still shy and nervous at times, but he was so much more open too.
Lily and her brood pulled to a stop just a few meters away from Severus. To his surprise, Harry seemed the most upbeat, Azalea was decidedly the shyest of the bunch, and Lily's excitement was somewhere in-between, but it was genuine.
"Hello Severus," she said, voice sounding very different than the strained, defeated way she spoke over the phone these last few years. "It's good to see you again."
Severus swallowed the lump in his throat, Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "It's good to see you too, Lily, and your…children, as well. Helps put a face to a name."
"Yes, I'm sure it does," said Lily.
The witch turned to her two children and gestured to the wizard stood across from her. "Harry, Azalea, meet Uncle Severus," she said, briefly glancing and smiling at the man. "He was a friend of Mummy's when we went to school, and before that when we were children."
"It's nice to meet you Uncle Severus!" Harry exclaimed brightly. Severus was pleasantly surprised to see the boy have some semblance of manners as he walked over to him and extended his hand for a shake.
Severus smiled and shook the boy's proffered hand.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Harry," Severus said.
"Hello," Azalea said shyly, "I…I'm Azalea, it's nice to meet you."
"It's a pleasure to meet you too, Azalea. I'm…" his dark eyes briefly flittered to Lily, then back to the girl's, "Uncle Severus."
"Alright you two, take a seat in Uncle Severus' truck," said Lily.
The children did as they were asked without need for any further prompting, leaving Severus wondering what Lily was like as a mother. Violet Evans was a very matronly woman, very kind and loving and in some respects she could be credited with helping give Severus some semblance of a normal childhood. She'd given him affection as a child when his own Mother had neglected to do so, and continued to longe after Eileen Snape passed away when he was twelve. Violet Evans also had a terrible temper too if she were pushed, never crossing the line to abusive territory, but some of the punishments she meted out to Lily and Petunia sometimes made Severus' skin crawl when he heard about them. Severus couldn't help but wonder if Lily was like that at all with Harry and Azalea.
Severus and Lily put the luggage in the bed of the truck and hopped into the front seat. After ensuring all their seatbelts were fastened, they set off for the Sanctuary located on the outskirts of town and protected by a powerful disillusionment enchantment much like the one that surrounded Hogwarts. They drove onto the property on a dusty, dirt road surrounded by firs on all sides; approaching a large farmhouse that had been refurbished into a home of Severus' tastes. It was a large building, with five bedrooms, three and two half bathrooms and came with an adjoined three-car garage. In said garage, was ample space for his pickup truck and an early 70s Mustang, Lily noted, having picked up a love of cars from her father. Off in the distance behind the farmhouse was a massive structure that Severus said served as a stable of sorts for the younger Thunderbirds. The sky above the house crackled with thunder and lightning, drawing oohs and ahhs from both Evans children. Around the farm house was a forest of fir and pine trees, the preferred habitat of Thunderbirds. All in, Severus Snape's Thunderbird Reserve was over a Thousand Acres in size, and home to forty three Thunderbirds with some living in the stables, and the rest roaming free around the reserve.
Severus parked his truck just in front of the farmhouse's porch and turned off the ignition.
No sooner had their feet hit the dusty ground of the reserve did Harry ask; "Can we see the Thunderbirds, Uncle Severus?"
"I'm sure they're sleeping now Harry," said Lily gently. "And Uncle Severus probably had a long day—"
"I don't see why not. But let's put your belongings inside the house first."
Lily shot him a surprised look, but said; "If Uncle Severus is alright with it…then it's alright with me."
They brought the luggage up the porch and into the sitting room of the house. Lily asked which room in the house they'd be put up in and Severus answered her question by sending their luggage into the rooms he'd prepared for them. They then hopped back into the truck and drove off to the stable. The density of the fir forest around them wasn't as thick as most back in England, but it was enough to obscure their view somewhat as Severus drove them along to the stable. Severus explained to Lily, Harry and Azalea how the Thunderbirds behaved and what to do and what not to do when approaching them. Lily insisted on going first before letting her children try afterwards, wanting to get a taste of what it was like interacting with the majestic creatures that Severus had cared for and raised over the past eight years.
Severus pulled his truck to a halt at the front entrance to the enormous stable, where the younger Thunderbirds stayed at night. The six eldest Thunderbirds, Elsie, Margaret, Tobias(Severus didn't name this one), Lysander, Nancy, and the leader, Frank, all remained outdoors come night time. Severus said it was probably Margaret who was lighting up the sky as they drove in, she was always a bit of a trouble maker, so he claimed.
"Right. Well we're going to head inside, and I want you all to follow closely behind me. We're going to go to the nursery where two chicks just hatched," said Severus.
"You heard Uncle Severus, Harry, Azalea," Lily chimed in, "let's follow him."
"Okay Uncle Severus," Harry said, undisguised excitement in his tone and on his face.
Azalea nodded shyly and followed her big brother, with her mum walking behind her. They all trooped into the massive building and followed Severus over to the nursery that was conveniently located right next to the entrance. Severus led Lily, Harry and Azalea into the nursery, where there was a massive female Thunderbird, easily the size of a four-door sedan and probably almost as heavy. By her side were her two chicks, both nestled in against their mum's side and fast asleep. Lily's jaw had fallen to the floor, as did those of her two children; they'd never seen a creature as powerful and majestic as the Thunderbird before them. It was so calm too, perfectly content to watch Severus walk up to her and smile. The Thunderbird crooned in greeting and Severus muttered something back to the bird, chuckling as he stroked the bird's plumage. Lily was struck dumb at how at-home Severus seemed in this environment. It made it easy for her to see how he'd made this his life for the past eight years.
"This big girl, is Agatha," Severus said, gesturing to the large Thunderbird.
The Thunderbird crooned loudly and then lowered its head to nuzzle its beak and cheek against Severus' palm. Severus chuckled fondly and stroked the creature's massive plumage of feathers on its head, then pulled back. "C'mon now Agatha, let me introduce you."
Turning back to Lily, Harry and Azalea, he said; "She's a new mother, only seventy four years old, and these are her two chicks, Charlie and Desmond. They're still young, but as you can see they've already grown to be the size of an eagle."
"She's beautiful," Lily said in wonder, gazing up at the powerful bird with pure fascination etched into her features.
Her children were in awe as much as, if not more than Lily was. Severus felt in awe too, not of the Thunderbirds, he saw them on a daily basis after all, but at the sight of wonder that Lily and her children wore so clearly, his chest swelled with a sense of pride he hadn't felt in so long.
Severus turned back to Agatha, who was also gazing upon the newcomers intently, almost as if she were gauging their intentions. Despite her young age at only seventy four years old, she was one of the most intuitive birds of the flock, and could tell one's intentions quite clearly.
"So what do you think?" Severus asked Agatha quietly.
Agatha gave a low croon of approval, causing Severus to smile.
"What's she saying Uncle Severus?" asked Harry, who was eyeing the eagle-sized chicks curiously.
"She says she approves of you three, and now, I can invite you into the pen. Lily, perhaps you'd like to pet them first?"
"Definitely," said Lily, moving past her children and kneeling at the side of Desmond and Charlie.
The two chicks eyed Lily curiously as she shakily extended her hand towards them. Desmond approached first, poking Lily's hand with his beak, and then rubbing the top of his head against it. Lily carefully stroked the bird's plumage, feeling the faint hum of electricity deep within the bird's body. Charlie approached next, seeing her brother's acceptance of the strange human. She chirped happily and copied her brother's movements in rubbing her head against Lily's palm.
"They like to be stroked here," Severus said softly, guiding Lily's hand over to a spot under their lower beak and prompting her to stroke the birds there. "Chicks often like to be stroked there, dunno why to be honest, but something any Thunderbird rearer worth their salt knows," he said.
"This is incredible Sev," Lily whispered, stroking under their beaks. "And you've been doing this all this time?"
"Every day since graduating, well, almost everyday. I take a day off here and there too, of course."
"Mummy can I have a go?" asked Harry.
"Yes, yes I suppose you can, just be careful dear and do as Uncle Severus says you should."
Lily stroked the two chicks one last time and backed away, clearing some room for Harry to have his go. Azalea still seemed a little nervous, probably because the chicks were about as large as she was, so Lily guided her a bit further away as she watched Harry approach Severus and the two chicks.
"Right here, err—Harry," said Severus, indicating the same spot under the chin. "And not too roughly, just gentle strokes, and you'll be able to feel a bit of their electricity within them."
"Uh…okay, Uncle Severus," said Harry.
Harry's eyes seemed to light up as he did, both chicks releasing faint electrical impulses into Harry's fingers, conveying their contentment. Lily watched the scene from the edge of the pen, surprised at how well Severus interacted with her children—a smile crossed her face at the sight.
It was no secret to her, how Severus felt about her. She'd seen it in his eyes, and the way he spoke for quite some time, even back when they were friends she knew that Severus had…stronger than platonic feelings for her. She needed time though, but seeing the way he interacted with Harry and with Azalea too, tempted her to cut short on that time.
When they retired for the night and headed back to the farmhouse. Lily put her two children to bed and came downstairs to the dining room where Severus had prepared a pot of tea. He hummed a tune to himself under his breath as he worked, and Lily watched from the stairs. She cleared her throat, and the tune paused; he slowly turned to her and raised an imperious-looking brow.
"How long were you standing there?"
"A minute or two," said Lily, smirking slightly.
"Listen, Severus…I need to know, and you can't dodge this question any longer either, but—"
"I know what you're going to ask," Severus said sharply, picking up rather quickly on Lily's train of thought. "And the answer is no. There is no one."
Lily swallowed thickly, surprised to have had her intentions found out so easily, within ten seconds. Am I really that easy to read? Like an open book?
Severus indicated that she sit and the table, so she did. Severus sat across from her and levitated her a cup and saucer filled with Chamomile. "Thank you," Lily murmured, then taking a sip.
The table, the room, the entire house as a whole was so undeniably Severus. Outfitted with dark woods, functional fittings that served their purpose and lacked any sense of ostentatiousness. It was plain, but it held a sense of style that was a lot like Severus himself, dark and brooding, the dark cherry table they sat around was like him to a tee.
"There hasn't been anyone…serious," Severus said, elaborating on his answer.
"I've tried for some time, years…but eventually I just gave up," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "No one makes me feel the way you do, and if you don't…feel that way…" another shrug, "then it's fine. I'd love just to be your friend again, and your children are delightful too, so I—"
"Severus," Lily said plainly, ending his ramblings. "This…isn't no, I just need time. My marriage only ended less than a month ago. I'd love to be your friend again too…but I need time before even thinking about that, you know? I just want to…to settle down a bit, get my feet under me and sort out the rest of my life before worrying about romance…"
Severus nodded quietly. "I understand. But even after you've had your time, if you don't feel that way…about me, then that's fine too."
Lily nodded. "Thank you for being understanding, a-and genuine too."
"I've learned a lot about that in recent years," Severus said wryly. "Thunderbirds…they're a magnificent species, and even the slightest hint of deception…they can sniff it out. I learned that early on in my tenure here. If you're gonna try lead them astray or anything like that…they'll know and they won't like that. Being genuine is the name of the game around here, Lily."
"You know…it's incredible what you've built here, it really is," Lily said wondrously. "Really…this entire reserve, or sanctuary—"
"—I use both terms interchangeably—"
"—Right. But Sev…this is…well it's incredible is what it is, and you've definitely downplayed all this over the phone. Driving in just now…it was amazing, seeing all this for the first time."
A loud boom of thunder sounded out over the house, and Severus chuckled. "That'll be Margaret again, but don't worry about it. Frank'll sort her out."
He took a sip from his cup and leaned back in his chair, sighing contentedly as he crossed his hands behind his head. "Ever since Michael passed…this place has been mine, I inherited the farmhouse since he didn't have any family…and I've hired a few employees who come around during the week to help with the feeding and the checkups on all of them. All are carefully vetted by Frank of course, he's the leader of the colony."
"And you've made this your life," Lily said quietly.
"This is my life," said Severus, still smiling. "I can't imagine doing anything else these days…and I love what I've built for myself here."
"It's truly incredible what you've managed to achieve, Severus. What you've done it's just…I don't want to sound cliche, but it truly is inspirational, to me at least."
"Says Miss Order of Merlin Second Class," Severus jibed.
"It would've been first class had I actually been there for the final battle," Lily muttered in-jest.
When Voldemort had finally been defeated, Lily was bed bound and heavily pregnant with Azalea. And while she'd contributed enough to the war effort to warrant an Order of Merlin Second Class, her absence from the battle which ended it all meant she didn't make it onto the list of First Class recipients.
"So how are things back home?" asked Severus, leaning forward slightly in apparent interest.
"Do you honestly care?"
"No," he said flippantly and without preamble. "No I don't, but I would like to hear about what happened to the shit show I left behind. What happened?"
Lily smiled wryly and for the next hour, she regaled Severus of all that had transpired back in Britain in the wake of his departure. Severus then had his turn telling Lily all about his life here on the reserve, and spoke of all the things he never had a chance to over the phone. Lily and Severus chatted for hours on end, into the early hours of the morning before finally deciding to call it quits and head to bed. Severus walked Lily to her room, but before he could leave, Lily's hand on his forearm lent him pause.
"Thank you, Severus, for all of this…putting us up, and everything," she said sincerely.
Severus smiled lopsidedly and shrugged his shoulders, something the Severus of old did so much more often than the Severus she knew at Hogwarts did. "It isn't a problem," he replied honestly. "And besides…I can kinda credit what I've built today to you…in a sense. If you hadn't approached me that day, I'd have taken the mark and well…I don't think it would've ended too well for me, if I'm being honest."
His attempt at a joke caused a brief chuckle to escape Lily's lips. "But you made the call to pursue this path in the first place, and all that you've built, it's from your hard work, Sev, don't short change yourself."
"I could say the same to you," he said insistently. "Had you not lifted the wool over my eyes…where would I be today, hmm?"
He took her silence as her inability to answer his question, so he pressed on. "That one discussion Lily…that…very well may have saved my life. When I look back at the idiot I was as a Seventh Year…" a sigh passed his lips, and he shook his head, "I'd…I'd deluded myself into thinking you'd actually like the fact that I'd have power, and respect, and I thought that if Voldemort were to win…then I could ask him to spare you, did you know that?"
"I remember that conversation as if it were just yesterday," Lily remarked softly. "You were quite an idiot, if you don't mind me saying—"
"No, no, you're absolutely right, I was an idiot, and I was a deluded fool to boot. And if you hadn't helped me see that…I shudder to think of the man I would've become had I carried on that path."
"But the important thing is that you didn't, Sev. You didn't become that man," said Lily firmly.
"Right, yeah, I guess so," Severus muttered, still unconvinced. "Anyways, I should go. Bathroom is the next door down on your left, 'kay? I'll see you in the morning."
"Goodnight Severus."
Severus gave an awkward sort of half-wave. "'night Lily."
He turned away, but just as Lily shut the door she seemed to change her mind and yanked it back open again, the hinge squeaking loudly from the sudden movement. "Oh and one more thing, Severus!"
"What?"
"What time do you begin your rounds tomorrow?"
"Six O'clock," he said with a smirk.
Lily smiled too, a cheeky sort of grin she often wore back when they were kids in Cokeworth and she suggested they get up to some mischief. "Alright then, see you down there at Five Thirty then."
Severus snorted quietly, contrasted by the little smile he gave, and then turned on his heel and retired to his own bedroom at the end of the hall.
A/N: I hope everyone who's made it this far enjoyed the fic. Might turn into a multi-chapter later on if inspiration strikes, but for now, this will likely remain a one-shot. Thank you for reading!