The boy hung his head low as he yet again bussed the wrong table.
He'd have to remember to go to Kuno's every once in a while, at least Ryoga knew that the Shakespearean meathead was enjoying life; lounging around, while ogling at pictures of the "Pig-tailed goddess." He shivered. But, unfortunately, fate always drew him to Ukyo's Okonomiyaki.
After a long journey through the woods and a few villages, he'd actually received a letter from the brunette chef. A nice change of pace for sure, but it was fairly vague with why he was to come so quickly. So he did. About a week later, but Ukyo expected longer. Because of his early arrival this supposed, "gift for him" was arriving later than she would've expected, so in the meantime, she decided to put the poor boy to work. She had to have forgotten about his directional curse though, because Ukyo was losing more customers by the minute.
"Maybe we'll have better service at Nekohanten," as the last two patrons left, Ukyo was seconds away from swatting the boy into the stratosphere, but immediately perked up when she saw another person enter.
"Welcome to Ukyo's Okonomiyaki! What can I get for you today?" She chirped in her usual businesswoman tone.
"Well I guess that answers my question then." The sharply dressed man excused himself, before motioning outside, causing the chef and well-intentioned idiot to follow.
Ryoga had to double take as Ukyo did the most feminine, school-girl scream he could think of. He gave an odd glance as a response, and she immediately cleared her throat in response. "This my dear Hibiki:" She pointed at the innocent looking crate. "Is your surprise!" She marveled in awe whilst Ryoga still gave her the odd glare.
He stooped down to the crate's level and hummed to himself. "What's inside?" He walked around it getting closer. He put a soft finger onto the crate shattering it immediately and revealing a large box within. "It's just a box Ukyo," he shrugged. "Not much a surprise to me." His response earned a glare and whap on the head.
"You dunce! It's what's inside the box that's special!" He was about to Bakusai the cardboard box but Ukyo quickly pushed him. "Ahahah—No. We open this like normal people. I.e., not you." He grimaced, but watched her lug the heavy box inside—admittedly, he silently enjoyed watching her struggle.
A heavy box on the table, a knife, and an excited Ukyo later, she held the item in her hands. "This is our ticket Ryoga!" She beamed, eyes practically sparkling.
Ryoga was still skeptical, "Another spatula? Ukyo, you brought me a gift I can't even use...?"
Ukyo chuckled in a Kodachi-like fashion, "This is no mere spatula. This is..." she struck a dramatic pose and Ryoga rolled his eyes. "The Spatula!"
"The. Spatula." He blinked lamely.
"The Spah-chu-la." She corrected. "This is the state of the art okonomiyaki flipping spatula. It's aerodynamic, larger than my old battle spatula, and it's got a special trait to it!"
"So?"
"It can split Ranma and Akane away for good!" Ryoga perked up and snatched the object from her tiny hands. "Hey! You brute! Don't you dare dent it!"
"I'm just lookin' at it." Ryoga made a few calculations and deducted that the spatula was pretty heavy. Even he struggled to initially pick it up, when he could usually lift Ukyo's spatulas with ease. It had to weigh just as much as his umbrella, but what worried him more was that: what if Ukyo was planning to strike Akane with this? At least Ranma could pick up his umbrella, but Akane... "Ukyo." He said seriously.
"Yes, Ryoga-sugar?"
"How exactly do you plan on using the spatula? How do we split them up?" He gave her the spatula back, and she made her way outside.
"Well it's easy!" She put a hand to her chin. "Uhh…well it should be..."
"You mean you don't have a plan?!"
"Look Ryoga, this thing is really cool!"
"Ukyo, you made me waste valuable time on a training trip for a moderately heavier spatula?!"
"Spah-chu-la!" He grabbed the oversized utensil from the girl's hand and deadpanned.
"Alright, well let's see. Bah-ko-sai! Ten-ket-sue!" He lifted his finger in an attempt to shatter the spatula, but quickly relented, he started growling the moment his mind told him to calm down and shoved the weapon back in Ukyo's hands. He anticlimactically walked out the door.
"R-Ryoga? Where are you going...?"
"Well we're going to find Ranma and Akane right? You better not hurt her, or your ladle gets it."
It took them most of the day, but they finally found the two fiancés enjoying each other's company. Ukyo was having none of it, seeing the pair laughing at each other's jokes, while Ryoga was still weary of the damage one blow could do to Akane and even Ranma a little—despite him not wanting to admit it to himself. "See there?" She pointed at the innocent couple. "This baby will help! Just trust me." Ryoga gave a slightly reluctant glare, yet still followed Ukyo towards the pair on the bench.
"Oh Porky, long time no see!" Ranma greeted in the most casual way he could, though the retort earned a hard ribbing from Akane.
"Be nice!" She whispered towards Ranma, who was still rubbing his sides gingerly, "Ryoga, Ukyo, what are you two doing here?"
"Well Akane, I'm glad you asked!" Ukyo lifted the spatula in the air and flaunted it. "Ya see, this thing will score me an easy date with Ranma!"
"You're being too tactless Ukyo..." Ryoga whispered to the brunette. She ignored him and continued.
"I'm sorry Akane, but I think you'd make a better match with Ryoga over here!" She lifted the heavy utensil up and flipped Akane in the air, like a pancake. She fell straight into Ryoga's arms and the two blushed a healthy amount.
"Ukyo, what's gotten into you?!" Akane cried, seeing Ukyo getting uncomfortably close to Ranma. Ryoga found this to be the opportune time to set Akane on the ground, despite his heart telling him otherwise.
"Uhhh. Ukyo...if ya wanna cook some okonomiyaki, you could've just said so...!" Ranma attempted to dodge a bullet, but it's rather hard to do that when you've already been shot. Akane saw this and immediately stomped over to Ukyo to tell her what for, but of course: it's not a 'fight over Ranma' battle without one more familiar patron. The one that always screams—
"Aiyah! Ranma get away from Spatula Girl!" She landed on the ground gracefully and everyone could feel the tension rising.
"Shampoo!"
"Ukyo!"
It was intense between the girls, but the moment they locked eye contact they both started their ritual. Akane and Ranma found this opportune time to sneak away during the girls' kerfuffle, Ryoga however, was dumbfounded by all the stupidity going on today. It was one thing to prematurely stop a training-trip, but it's another story when someone attempts to attack Akane in any way. To say he was furious was an understatement, enraged was even more of understatement.
"Ukyo! I can't believe that you tried to hurt Akane with that stupid spatula!" The brunette glanced at Ryoga, stepping back from her scuff with the Amazon.
"Butt out, Hibiki! I'm dealing with one idiot already!" She said, dodging one of many chui thrown her way. She was able to halt Shampoo with a flour bomb in her face and decided to give Ryoga a small taste of her spatula. One swift swing landed on his head and he immediately backpedaled. Ouch! That hurt! It hurt...
That was no ordinary spatula.
Ryoga knows from his intense training that not even toppling buildings could make him flinch like that. Only if he was caught completely off guard would he topple over. But not only was the boy blocking, but he was expecting it to happen. It packed such a hard punch that it nearly gave him a migraine. If Ukyo were to swing that spatula at Shampoo, Akane, hell, even Ranma...she'd do a lot more damage than she'd expect.
She's being reckless. I have to get this thing outta her hands!
Ryoga immediately sprung up into action, but just his luck that—
"Ukyo! Don't hit Ryoga like that!" Akane decided to intervene in the midst of the fight, however, Ukyo was about to swing her spatula to end the fight with a battered—both figuratively and literally—Shampoo.
It was all happening slowly. He could see Ranma's anxious reaction to Ukyo's initial swing. He could see Shampoo and Akane fearfully bracing for impact, and he could see the panicked, distraught expression on Ukyo's face.
If there was only one thing he had to do at this moment, it was to save Akane from mortal danger. Both Ranma and Ryoga leapt in front of Ukyo's unexpected attack, but Ryoga was closer. He was able to shove Akane out of harm's way, who then rammed into Ranma, causing them to crash onto the ground. Ukyo's spatula was about to launch Shampoo, but with quick thinking, Ryoga curled around the hurt Amazon and took the full force of the battering swing. Ukyo could hear the sounds of cracking and see a flurry of purple and yellow fly out of the park.
Smoke launched behind them as they flew, which signaled all of them, that this wasn't their usual 'Neriman Air' trip.
They were going to be gone for a while.
"Oh boy," she said mostly to herself. She turned around to the engaged couple, that looked just as dumbstruck as her. She started to shrug nonchalantly, and put on a calm face. "It was an accident. Besides, Ryoga's survived worse, and I couldn't care less about Shampoo." She started to leisurely walk out of the park, but the whole trip back to the restaurant, she was fearing for Ryoga and even Shampoo's life. There's no telling where they could've gone...she looked down at the chrome spatula in her hands and shoved it back in the haphazardly ripped cardboard box. Only for cooking. She reassured herself.
Only for cooking.
He could barely open his eyes, but he felt a fuzzy sensation on him. The humidity was so high, you could drink it. There were the faint sounds of a shore and crickets chirping. The boy's eyes hurt too badly to open, they almost felt like they were glued shut, thankfully he was greeted by the moon's not-so-bright glare.
As he opened his dreary eyes and looked down, he saw his bandana on his neck, he already figured that if he looked at his hands they'd be hooves—a good assumption. He lamented as he decided to search the rest of his surroundings, but as he got up, he landed on the gritty sand and saw the fuzzy thing he was laying on. It was a pink cat. The pink cat he knew too well. He turned her around and her eyes were still closed. That's not good.
He looked around again as the moon shone on them. Nerima was obviously nowhere to be found—looks like he's getting an extended training trip after all. He searched back for his supplies, before realizing that he left them in Ukyo's restaurant.
He walked over to the shore and touched the water with his snout: too cold. That at least explains the transformation.
P-Chan could do nothing but sigh, realizing that his friend sent him and the wrong girl to a remote island. Though, if he were with Akane doing this, there'd be no way they could survive. Akane would kill him the moment she finds out about the curse. Speaking of: he needs to change back and get Shampoo changed too, he can't rely on the sun to heat the water.
He looked over at the kitten that was still asleep. It was going to be a long few days, but it might as well be best to join her.
He oinked goodnight and curled into a little black ball, huddling against her for warmth.