I know ... another story, I'm crazy. I have been working feverishly to get some stories completed. But some nagging ideas like this one, just wouldn't leave be alone and have began causing insomnia, so I have decided to write it out in hope I can finally get some sleep.
Vance read the report that SecNav had emailed him again, he'd read it so many times now he'd lost track. He immediately set himself the task to call the entire MCRT team and the auxiliary support team to a meeting in conference room one. SecNav had declared the email to be the Director's number one priority, especially as when SecNav had been in the building yesterday, the MCRT had been sniping at one another after the tense and stressful case they were working on was finally solved. The case they'd just wrapped up was a huge profile case involving an Admiral friend of Tim's father - Admiral Nathan Harper, the seventeen year old son of a local judge - Noah Novak, a video camera and an out of the way downtown motel that charged for rooms by the hour and was notorious with the local LEO's and VICE detectives.
The report from SecNav had been about emotional and psychological burnout from being overworked, thus a decrease in productivity, with the potential for legal action against the workplace in the event of a psychological breakdown. Vance had been ordered to stand down the MCRT and it's entire auxiliary team down for 28 days off, paid days off plus weekends.
That's how, for the first time ever, the MCRT finally have the whole silly season off and then some. From the 15th December to 19th January completely free from duties. "Effective from the completion and submission of the paperwork on our latest case. No exceptions!" Leon Vance had been adamant that no one set foot in the building.
Ducky didn't have any time to waste, he had already been planning a trip back to Scotland and knew that if he timed it right, he'd be able to spend a good portion of that time away, with his love, his lady friend - Penny Langston, Tim's grandmother. Penny would be lecturing at the University of Edinburgh as a guest lecturer while on her lecturing tour, just as Ducky made his way to her in Scotland. He had invited Tim to tag along with him, but Tim declined. He knew the two elders had missed one another terribly and he had told them he was planning to visit Sarah in Sydney, Australia, where she now lived. Tim definitely didn't want to be a third wheel.
Tony had barely made it out of the conference room before booking flights from Dulles to Rome, then whipping out his cell phone and scrolling through his contacts until he found the person he was looking for. His Uncle, Zio Enrico. He knew exactly what he would do with his time off. He would be going to Italy to visit his Mother's family. "Ciao Zio Enrico, sono Anthony DiNozzo, il figlio di Maria. Sai come mi preghi sempre di venire per un soggiorno?" He spoke in fluent Italian, as soon as the person on the other end answered. "Arriverò il 17 e rimarrò fino al 10. Compreso Natale e Capodanno. Ci vediamo allora." He paused for a moment and ended his call with "grazie ci vediamo allora"
"What time are you flying out Tony?" Ziva asked him, booking her own flights to Tel Aviv. "May I catch a ride to the airport with you?" Tony immediately put his arm around her in a friendly manner and the two of them made their plans to get to the airport together as her flight left within an hour of his flight leaving.
"Tim?" Gibbs asked quietly, as not to alert Tony and Ziva to their teammate's demeanour. "Do you need to make any flight reservations?"
"No" He answered in a monosyllabic tone. That tone worried Gibbs. He knew Tim was currently going through a tough time. Gibbs suspected that he knew more than Ducky for a change as Tim had began keeping Ducky at an arm's distance from anything too personal, in case he slipped up and told Penny what was going on with him. Tim worked very hard to keep that happy façade in place for his family.
"Well I do," Abby answered excitedly, cutting into the conversation. "I'm finally going home Louisiana, New Orleans here I come. Gotta go call Luka, tell him the good news and book my flights."
"Jimmy?" Gibbs asked, he wanted to make sure the entire team were getting away from the tri-state area. He needed everyone to fully decompress. Gibbs, Tony, Tim and Abby had been running on full tilt since before Tony'd had the plague, almost five years ago. He didn't know what Ziva had been up to prior to them meeting her, but he expected that she had been working non-stop and not relaxing as well. Jimmy had been working full time and studying full time too, so knew the young man needed just rest as much as the rest of them did.
"I'll accompany Breena and the rest of the Slater family to her brother's house in Sacramento, California for the holidays. I'm good, I'll call Breena soon and give her the good news." He told Gibbs and he wasn't surprised that the older agent had asked about his plans.
Four years ago, not long after they lost Kate and Ziva came along, McGee had been angry and fed up with the way he was being treated and put his foot down with Gibbs. In the middle of his tirade, Tim had dragged Palmer's name into his rant too, telling Gibbs how they weren't part of the inner team. Always left out and not trusted. Gibbs had taken everything that Tim had ranted at him that day on board and began listening to them. He began caring for them and looking out for them, much more often too. Much to Ducky's amusement at the irony of Gibbs having been reamed out by an angry Tim, someone who's inherently meek and mild mannered.
Everyone had headed for their respective workstations and rushed through the remainder of their day, anxious to leave and start their vacations. All except Tim, after he had finished his reports he put them off to one side and began working on cold cases. He had emailed Vance's PA and requested an exception to the mandate and Vance had returned a strongly worded email that stated he was to take the mandatory time off and decompress. Just like everyone else. No exceptions!
Tim had a plan though, he just had to bide his time. Tim had no desire to travel with the hoards of other people travelling for the holidays, flying long distances with jet lag at both ends of the trip, either. He just wanted to be left alone, alone to work. He had even thought about asking Captain Jenkins for a temporary reassignment to cyber crimes. 'Maybe with everyone away, I can sort out my thoughts and feelings that this last case stirred up.' He thought to himself. But Vance had been firm with him - no exceptions!
After Ziva and Tony had rushed from the bullpen, Ducky, Jimmy and Abby had all been by to say their goodbyes too, Gibbs was already finished. He was not leaving the yard until McGee left too, but he was going for coffee.
While waiting for his order, his cell phone rang. Glancing at the caller ID, he saw Vance's name show up and dreaded what the man was calling for. He just hoped he wasn't calling to cancel their mandatory leave as he had made plans to spend some time with his Father in Stillwater. "Yeah, Gibbs." He reluctantly answered, not being able to bring himself to break his own rule about being unreachable.
"You are aware Agent McGee is still in the building?" The Director asked him immediately, forgoing all of the usual pleasantries, knowing the older agent preferred brevity in all conversations.
"Yeah." Gibbs sighed. "He's still working." Gibbs explained to the Director, although the team leader knew his youngest agent was well and truly finished with his reports and had moved on to cold cases. What Gibbs didn't know yet, was why Tim hadn't packed it in and headed home already.
"He asked for an exception to the mandate." Vance told him in a stern voice. "Make him leave and reiterate the conditions of this mandate in no uncertain terms to the man, Gibbs. You're the team leader, the responsibility for your agent's actions falls to you!"
Gibbs disconnected the call. He knew Tim had been upset when Sarah had met and eloped with a man she had met on her book tour, choosing to stay with him in Sydney, Australia. She did not even come back to the US to pack her own things. Tim had been left with the task, packing and shipping her belongings and telling their remissive parents and their beloved Penny all about Sarah's new life. That's when Tim's mood and demeanour had began a downward spiral. His parents had blamed him for Sarah's reckless behaviour, well his mother had blamed him and passed on the message from his father, apparently there was a long standing rift between the two men and hadn't spoken directly to one another in a decade, which had surprised Gibbs. Least surprised by either of the parent's reactions was Penny - the duo's Grandmother. Gibbs had wanted to head slap both Tim's parents respectively, so hard, he'd also wanted to talk some sense into Sarah. But he didn't, instead he sought the man out, the one who'd worn the brunt of Sarah's actions silently and helped him with the task at hand. He'd once again reminded Tim that his door was unlocked and once again Tim gave him one of his genuine smiles.
"Here, take an extra one Gibbs." His usual barista, Frankie told him. "Looks like you need it."
Gibbs took the second offered coffee, nodding his thanks to Frankie and sauntered back to the main building. Opting to use the back stairs instead of the elevator, he let himself out onto his floor silently and watched, silently observing Tim. Tim was letting his mind wonder as he stood up and stretched, cracking his back as he moved. "Oh boss, you're back!" Tim said suddenly, spying movement out of the corner of his eye.
"Here!" Gibbs said, thrusting the extra tall coffee cup in his hands. "Now tell me why you don't want the time off?"
"It's not that I don't," Tim began, taking a swig of the coffee. "Just that I'm upset at Sarah still, not speaking to the Admiral - that's nothing new, just the same on going argument and I'm not speaking with my mother for that matter either. Penny and Ducky haven't had any alone time in so long. I refuse to impose on them."
"Well you can't stay here, doing cold cases and working solo for the next month. Especially with no back up." Gibbs told him, firmly. "So here's what you're gonna do. Go to your place and get your apartment ready to be away for the next month. Pack about a week or so worth of clothes and drive your Porsche back to my place. We'll lock it in the garage and grab dinner at the diner tonight, do some cold cases. Tomorrow morning, we'll be leaving for Stillwater."
"Boss, that's not necess-" Tim began to tell his boss.
"Yeah it is," Gibbs cut him off, mid sentence. "Dad's been nagging me to set up his new sales system, his new CCTV cameras, his laptop and get them all working on the doobie-wacko! That's your area of expertise. In exchange, Dad and I will keep you company for the time we have off. No excuses, Tim! You're coming!
"Ah boss? You know I'll be ok here. I don't need a babysitter." Tim tried to to reason with him, not wanting to put Gibbs or Jack out.
"Maybe Dad and I need a referee? Did you think of that?" Gibbs argued. "Besides, I want to try the new steakhouse and saloon in Harrisburg and Dad's not to keen on restaurants or bars these days. I'm definitely not going by myself."
"Ok, I'll go." Tim conceded, mostly because he was tired and didn't have the energy to fight with Gibbs. "But promise me, we will get to the cold cases at some point. I can't have that long away from work." Gibbs nodded at Tim, he knew they wouldn't get to them, but it'd be nice to have the cases to fall back on if all else fails. "I'll be at your house in two hours, boss." He confirmed as he packed everything up, shut down his computers and went home.
Something else had been going on with the young man he admired so much. For a while now, he'd lost his edge, his spunk, he'd been running on autopilot and the only one who had seemed to notice at the navy yard, was Gibbs. 'Something had been weighing on that brilliant mind' Gibbs thought to himself. Today after lunch, he thought he'd seen a spark of the old Tim return when verbally sparring with Tony. He'd discussed this theory with Ducky when he'd popped down to autopsy mid-afternoon, not knowing his lady friend was on the tablet, that she and Ducky had been mid-Skype conversation. That was how he met Penny Langston for the second time. Penny let him in on a few truths about Tim, about the Agent's own relationships with his parents. More importantly, his own Grandmother knew exactly what was weighing on her Grandson's mind. She had sought Gibbs out, for a Skype session with Gibbs in Ducky's office and she'd begged Ducky to make it happen, to a have a private conversation with Gibbs to share her concerns about her Grandson.
According to Penny, Tim's concerns were men, specifically, male lovers. That's when Gibbs learnt his youngest agent was like him, was bisexual, but had only dated women since joining the agency and she hadn't been able to work out why. First she thought that it was a militant version of 'don't ask, don't tell' but then she had met Agents Dornaget and O'Hara, as well as Seth from the motor pool on a tour of the navy yard before departing for her lecture circuit. Now she realised that Tim had done it to himself, he'd forced a male lover ban upon himself. He'd chosen not to be comfortable in his own skin.
Driving home in a daze, Gibbs recalled Penny telling him everything, she laid everything out on the table for Gibbs. Tim's whole dating history including how he was much happier when he was with a male lover, rather than female, but when he was with Sean, his one serious male lover he had constantly bullied and berated him about his inexperience. He had been put him down about wanting to try things and although she wasn't 100 percent sure, Penny had suspected that he may have been physically violent with Tim at one point.
Gibbs let himself inside and immediately had taken the three things off the living room floor which in his opinion had been cluttering the floor, 2 of which were his old beaten up work boots he'd worn yesterday to the lumber yard and he dropped them by the door, the other thing, a coffee mug, went into the sink. His thoughts still on Tim, Gibbs, himself had understood, more than either Ducky or Penny realised. See besides Shannon, the only other two people he knew about his bi-sexuality was Matt and his father. Shannon and Matt had both passed on. Shannon from a horrific accident and Matt from leukaemia. Matt had been Jethro's lover through his teen years and into his very early twenties before Shannon and he had met and subsequently married. He'd taken care of Matt when he got sick and when he and Shannon started dating, she'd promised to not die too. When Matt died, he'd enlisted to the USMC in his grief. Then he met Shannon. He had smiled again when everyone that found out about her, they always assumed that she was like a high school sweetheart, but that was definitely not true. He had dated other women, of course. Both before Matt and after Shannon, but he'd never found another man to rouse his interest or his libido, quite like Matt had, until he met Timothy McGee on the dock that day in Norfolk.
Hearing the German engine in his driveway, he went out to greet his agent, looking at his watch. Two hours exactly, as promised. That's what he liked about Agent Timothy McGee, his punctuality. He didn't know the man, Tim McGee enough to draw an opinion, but what he did know, he liked.
Wordlessly, Gibbs helped Tim with his two bags. Gibbs recognised as his business bag, the bag he stowed his laptop, a couple of spare parts, and several case files. The other one was a sports duffle bag, the kind most pro athletes use. It bore the letters MIT and the school logo with more lettering he couldn't decipher. Tim kept that one, it must be the heavier one of the two, since it was packed with clothes for their month's getaway.
"Let's stow these away for the night and get to the diner." Gibbs said enthusiastically, taking both bags and placing them in the alcove by the door. "Elaine's been working on some new desserts for her new menu. She wants us to sample them."
"Nothing wrong with the old menu." Tim grumbled and even Gibbs chuckled. He had to agree with Tim, there.
At Elaine's, Tim and Jethro shared a peaceful dinner with a nice easy conversation, barely touching on work or the upcoming vacation to Stillwater. "You two ready to try those desserts?" Elaine asked, refilling their coffee mugs. At their nods, she indicated to Sandy, one of her waitresses, that she should bring over the platters she'd prepared for them. On the platter was four new choices; a type of cheese cake, a chocolate Bavarian, a banana, honey ice cream with peanut brittle and chocolate waffles with buttermilk vanilla bean ice cream and peanut butter sauce.
"Elaine?" Tim asked, getting her attention and spying her hopeful face. "This is delicious, but definitely keep your pies, it's a diner. Pies are your bread and butter."
"I agree! This is great as a special, but don't go changing too much. Diner means comfort food." Gibbs agreed with Tim.
"Thanks for your honesty." Elaine told them, giving both men a kiss on the cheek filled with gratitude. "I am going to miss you two while we're away. We're going to see the kids. Closing the diner, for the week over Christmas."
"That's great!" Tim told her, enthusiastically.
"You haven't seen Jill and Eileen in a long time." Gibbs commented, remembering their daughter's names from when both girls worked there a long time ago. "that's great news. Fortunately, we won't be here either. Tim and I are headed out of town tomorrow, will be gone until at least after New Year, maybe a week or two longer."
"Ooh, new case?" She asked, sometimes she liked to hear the non-specific details of a case.
"Nah, going to see Dad. Jack has some wiring things he needs doing. Recruited Tim here for that job."
"Jethro, honestly?!" Elaine admonished. "Let the boy go see his family for Christmas instead."
"Trust me Elaine," Tim told her with a twinkle in his eye "helping Jack is one hundred times better than seeing either of my parents for Christmas."
"Oh Tim, Penny is such a kind and caring, such a gentle soul, though."
"She is and if her and Ducky were here for Christmas, there's no where else I'd rather be. But there in Scotland and I refuse to be the third wheel."
After dinner Jethro and Tim made their way back to Gibbs' house, a heat and eat breakfast burrito each in the bag and a whole apple and strawberry pie for Jack, courtesy of Elaine's hospitality. Jethro quickly started the fire while Tim put the bag from the diner, in Gibbs' ancient fridge, as they settled on to the sofa, coffee mug in hand, each a cold case file on their lap and the open laptop on the coffee table. "Hey?" Gibbs asked in a whisper. "Are you ok after yesterday's case? I heard Admiral Nathan Harper say he was friends with your old man, the Admiral."
"I've known Harper since I was twelve." Tim told him, truthfully. "Seeing and dealing him bought up some memories I'd have rather stayed buried."
"Anything I can help with?" Gibbs offered genuinely, he had seen whatever had happened between the two of them weigh heavy on his agent's mind for the last two days. "Might help to tell someone about them, get it off your chest."
"I can't tell you, … can't tell anyone really." Tim said, hesitantly.
"As in don't ask, don't tell, Tim?" Gibbs asked and Tim tapped the side of his nose, as if to say precisely. "Ah … bisexual?" Gibbs guessed, although he already knew the answer. The answer had been obvious because he knew Tim dated women too.
"In the past." Tim told him in a small voice. "Doesn't matter now."
"I'm not going to judge you, Tim." Gibbs swore truthfully. "It goes no further than me, I swear."
"Nathan Harper, he was the Admiral's protégé back then." Tim began, recalling what had lead to the discovery of his sexuality. "Ten years older than me and exactly the kind of man the Admiral wanted me to grow up to be. When I was fifteen, one day after wrestling practice, I had come home and taken my usual shower and when I returned to my bedroom he was waiting for me. He told me he wanted to make me into a man, a man my father would be proud of. I was in shock and before I knew what was happening I was flat on my back, the towel was untied from my waist and he was giving me a blowjob."
"Oh Tim." Gibbs said softly, trying not to let his anger show. "He molested you?"
"I didn't exactly say no, I could have though." Tim argued strongly, blaming himself.
"You were in shock, you said that yourself." Gibbs fired back at his younger agent. "You were only fifteen for Pete's sake! Just a kid."
"The year I turned sixteen, my parents had a party to celebrate their twentieth wedding anniversary." Tim continued without prompting from Gibbs. "At the party, I was still in a walking cast from my car accident. He cornered me and put his hands all over my body, before unzipping my jeans and jerking me off until I …"
"Got it, Tim." Gibbs answered, knowing exactly what that man had done to him.
"I left, heading off to John's Hopkins in the fall." Tim explained. "There I met Sean and everything was great. We were roommates and we worked hard, studied hard and played harder. By the first Summer vacation, we gave in and began an intimate relationship. He was a jealous and insecure man, though and by the end of the summer the following year, he'd become possessive and controlling too. Over that second summer's vacation, his best buddy had gotten engaged and he escalated his behaviour. He became a bully, he lied, manipulated and spoke down to me. He hurt me and I couldn't wait to be free of him. He belittled me and my experience. When I finally was free, I went home to my parents place. I didn't know what I was going to with my degrees." Tim put some distance between himself and Gibbs. "I walked into my room and found Nathan waiting for me. He pushed me down on my bed, calling me a faggot as he opened his jeans and pulled himself out. He rutted himself against me until he … then he spat in my face. He rolled me onto my back, reached into my jeans and twisted my testicles."
"What happened?" Gibbs breathed out loud, white hot anger coursing through his veins. "What else did that bastard do to you?"
"After he twisted my testicles, he laughed in my face as he tried to finger me. When he failed, he angrily left." Tim rushed out in a whisper. "I never saw him again until we crossed paths with Noah Novak's case, yesterday."
"That's why you were so quick to believe Noah's story. You knew what Harper was capable of, first hand. Why didn't you report him?" Gibbs asked, imploring himself to understand why Tim hadn't spoken up sooner.
"I did. An NCIS agent came to the hospital, I had to have emergency surgery for the testicular torsion. When I woke up the agent was there, he told Penny that Harper told NCIS I seduced him and he twisted my testicles to fight me off. That bastard Father of mine backed Harper's story up instead of mine. The agent kept calling me a faggot or gay-boy. That's why Penny didn't like that I worked at NCIS in the beginning. My father hates me, he has repeatedly told me that I destroyed his career by seeking medical attention for my injuries."
"Who ... ?" Gibbs asked in a low seething voice. "Who was the bastard NCIS agent?"
"NCIS Agent James Patten." Gibbs swore to himself. "He's dead, boss. He was one of the good ol' boys. He'd just come back from an agent afloat position. It wasn't until I was doing background for the case yesterday, that I found out Patten was legendary for throwing all night poker parties with the Admiral and his aide - Harper. When they were in port, at whatever port they'd be docked. Patten would hire ... ladies of the evening to entertain the three of them."
"He ignored your complaint about Harper, because he was buddy-buddy with him and the Admiral and the agent was stationed aboard your father's ship." Gibbs reiterated and silently swore to himself.
Gibbs took himself off to the kitchen and poured each of them a generous dose of bourbon in coffee mugs before giving one to Tim. He studied the man who sat quietly in front of him. He still looked like he was weighed down. He looked stressed and unsure of himself.
"You're not disappointed in me?" Tim's small, unsure voice floated up, his expressive blue-green eyes following. Jethro Gibbs was not a wanton man, not anymore. Sure in his days with Matt and then later with Shannon. But looking down at Tim, he knew he'd have to be careful not to cross that line. No matter how much his libido wanted him to.
"No!" Gibbs vehemently shook his head. "How could you think that I'd be disappointed in you?!"
Tim shrugged his shoulders, in response. "Sorry." He muttered and then winced st the incoming head slap he knew he'd earned by apologising and breaking Gibbs infamous rule six.
"Tim, you've got nothing to apologise for." Gibbs said, putting his arm around the younger man in comfort. "You're not a disappointment either. It takes bravery and courage to admit what happened out loud, let alone to someone else. Especially someone from NCIS after how you were treated the last time." The two men sat in silence, just enjoying the quietness of the evening. "Is that why you didn't want take a vacation and just work?"
"Well yeah, I need to sort through it all in my head." Tim told him. "I've never been able to talk to anyone about it before. Never knew how to bring it up with Penny, so we just continued as the status quo."
"I've been there, your head can be a scary place sometimes. Especially if you get stuck in there." Gibbs confided in him and wondered if Tim didn't have some kind of undiagnosed PTSD over Nathan Harper and his former relationship with that Sean guy.
"Shannon?" Tim asked automatically and immediately regretted the question escaping his lips.
"A lot of it, sometimes it's Kuwait and what I saw over there and how it changed me. Sometimes it's other stuff too." Gibbs finished, he wasn't ready to share the trauma of Matt with anyone yet. But he knew he needed to. To help Tim with his trauma. "Here's a good spot to leave the conversation for tonight. It's late and we have a long drive tomorrow. There's a bed upstairs."
"Sofa is fine, you take the bed." Tim told him, honestly. "All I need is a pillow and throw rug."
"Sofa's mine." Gibbs told him. The sofa was a deep L shaped sectional. Plenty long enough for two men to sleep on comfortably. Gibbs spotted an indescribable look quickly pass over Tim's face and thought back to his own demons and why he chose to sleep on the sofa. "If you insist on the sofa, you can take that side." Pointing to the other length of the sectional.
Gibbs took himself off to the hall closet and pulled out two pillows and two blankets. Handing a pillow and blanket to Tim, keeping one for himself. "I'll just quickly pack up the case files and laptop." Tim muttered and making light work of the task. "One less thing to do in the morning."
"Let me do that, you can go on and use the bathroom to get ready for bed." Gibbs urged, taking the untouched files and laptop from Tim's hands.
Tim returned seven short minutes later. The first thing Gibbs noticed was Tim's chest bare, almost completely void of body hair. He was only in his boxer shorts, that sat very low on his hips. It had been a while since the team had been away on a overnight case. Tim's body had changed from back then. He'd lost all his puppy fat and toned up his muscles. He'd began a work out regimen and Gibbs could tell it was paying off for the man. To Gibbs, Tim was looking a hell of a lot sexier then when he'd seen the man shirtless last and he'd been more robust then and Gibbs had still thought he was gorgeous back then. "Bathrooms free." Tim told him, breaking through the older man's private thoughts.
Gibbs disappeared down the hall and into the guest bathroom to strip down to his boxers and under tee. He threw on a pair of sweat pants to ward off the chill that was beginning to settle in the air. The warmth of the fire never reached that far down the back of the house, but the living room would stay warm until the small hours of the morning. Gibbs never bothered to turn the central heating system on, if it was just him at home. As he left the bathroom he snagged a clean pair of sweatpants for Tim, just in case.
"Sweatpants." Gibbs tossed the pair at Tim, who quickly caught them and put them on. "Can get cold in here overnight." While Gibbs was in the bathroom, Tim had located one his tees and thrown it on. Gibbs hit the over head lights as he passed the switch and the only light in the room, was that from the low fire slowly burning down to nothing.
"Thanks." Tim said, once Gibbs was settled on the sofa too. Their heads both on pillows at the end where the sectional joined up. "For everything tonight. Even for listening to me vent about Harper."
"No thanks necessary, Tim." Gibbs told him. Jethro could feel his junior agent's head, right by his. Their two pillows touching. "Night"