Disclaimer: i do not own one tree hill or anything akin to it.

A/N: So I had an idea and I wrote it out after being seeing and sleeping for like a week straight when finally i was up all night with nothing to do, before I promptly started being sick again lol.

It wasn;t quite a full story hence I thought yeah post it, but it was more than a oneshot, Usually i would post it chapter but chapter but for this I decided even though it was multichapter, theyre more like mini chapters, i would post them all at once maybe in two lots. And eventually there will be an epilogue. So here's the first post. And don't worry, it IS a BL story, but Peyton is a also a main character and it starts more Peyton heavy.

Prologue

It was the same nightmare playing out again, an echo of a memory; a dark night, the damp smell and the sound of rain pelting in a violent storm outside.

Peyton opened her eyes, though she was not in her bed, she was still in the car trapped by her seat belt, her hair covering her eyes as gravity had it falling over her face while she hung in the unnatural spot.

His voice came as it always did, and the crying, coming from far away as if they were caught in a tunnel.

Peyton can almost see him smile, a flash of light and she sees his bright eyes and curly brown hair, love shining from him.

Jake. Even in her dreams she screams for him because she knows it's not real, not anymore, she knows it's a dream and all this has already happened and nothing she can do can change the past yet she screams nonetheless. Begs for him to stay with her.

He is just a dark mass next to her, even her nightmare blocks that bloody memory. And then the crying gets louder and louder, echoing through the car and the night sky, a ringing in her ear.

Peyton opens her eyes again, this time for real, her heart beating fast as she stares up at the ceiling, the what ifs still clinging in her mind.

Perhaps she could have saved him, if she had woken earlier, if she had been the one driving that night, if she had told him to pull over when the world became a dark curtain in front of them.

Too many if only's haunted Peyton at night time.

Still trapped half within the nightmare it took a moment too long for Peyton to realise the crying was not just inside her head.

Down the hallway the whimpers could be heard in the otherwise silent night, calling to Peyton as the cries in her dreams had too. Throwing the blanket off her body Peyton quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the other bedroom, the night light was already on glowing by the bed and creating a soft glow over the girl who lay asleep, tossing and turning.

Peyton was not the only one who had nightmares.

"Jenny," Peyton lay down and scoped the sleeping blonde into her arms, "It's okay, you're okay, it's just a dream. Just a dream" the words were whispered repeatedly, Peyton stared out of her green eyes not really seeing her surroundings as her own words buried into her soul.

It's just a dream.

-x-

The whistle of the kettle added to the clatter in the kitchen, Peyton quickly lifted it up as she looked over her shoulder, "morning, goldilocks" she smiled is a little forced, the shadow under her eyes betraying the rough night.

Jenny scraped the chair back, "morning, Mom"

They didn't mention the dreams, breakfast was stilted, punctuated by yawns. Peyton tried to smile some more, guilt turning her stomach, "so… last day of school! Looking forward to the summer?"

"Sure" Jenny shrugged. The preteen sighed, her spoon absentmindedly trailing through the now discoloured milk as the cereal sat uneaten.

"I was thinking we could drive down the coast, first explore San Francisco. What do you think?"

"Sure" her tone was still bland, Jenny sighed again and Peyton dropped her coffee mug down with a clang.

"Jen… what's on your mind?"

"Nothing. San Francisco sounds great" Jenny gulped, her blue eyes meeting her mothers, "really"

"It will be an adventure" Peyton grinned as the familiar words hung between them.

There was always a new adventure, for as long as Jenny could remember it has been the two of them against the world, one adventure after another. A new town, a new home, and all new experiences. As an artist Peyton took them all over the country, settling down somewhere new every school year before picking up for the summer on their annual road trip. Just the two of them, the comet and the open roads, nothing holding them back.

For the first time Jenny was dreading it as much as she was looking forward to it, and for the rest of the day she was reminded why. The older Jenny got the harder it became to always be the new kid, this last school had been the hardest so far with all the other kids already firmly locked in social circles they'd had for years, the girls in her class interested in boys and make up and the latest fashion, things Jenny felt awkward about. Puberty had seemed to hit all the girls before her, Jenny had never felt as out of place and as small as she had this last school year, used to welcoming smiles the mocking ones had hit harder.

For the first time Jenny craved something more, she craved a familiar home to return to, yet didn't know how to tell her mother that.

"Jennifer, where is your mind at?" the school psychologist crossed her legs, eyeing the girl sitting across from her with big blue eyes and thick honey blonde hair.

"I had the dream again" Jenny closed her eyes, "I was trapped in the dark unable to move, there's crying, so much crying… I think it's my mom"

"Do you remember any more of the accident?"

"No. I don't think so" Jenny frowned, "Sometimes I think I don't even remember my dad"

"It is not unusual to block out traumatic events, you were only four when it happened… it's also not unusual to forget memories of that age. You may not hold tangible memories of your father, that does not mean you cannot still love and miss him"

"How can I miss someone I don't even remember?" she rolled her eyes in desperation, making light of her complicated feelings, "Mom talks about him all the time, she tries so hard to keep him alive, you know, and I… I just have this black canvas. I wish I could… connect to him. He played the guitar, I tried to learn but I was no good. Mom and Dad were both really into music"

"Have you talked to your mom about how you are feeling? Last time we were discussing opening up about how you truly feel about moving towns and schools every year"

"Yeah, well… not yet. Its not that easy. I… I think she runs away, like she can't have a real home without Dad, like we're betraying him or something. I don't know. She never even dates, I would be okay if she did but it's always just the two of us"

"It is okay to want more, Jennifer"

Jenny nodded, her mind still on her parents hours later when she entered the small villa they were renting. The music blaring from the room Peyton used as a studio let Jenny know her Mom was indeed home, she smiled at the familiar welcome home, finding comfort in her mother's presence. After she dropped her school bag Jenny walked by the fridge, her eyes straying to the old photo displayed on the fridge "hey Dad" Jenny smiled, kissing two fingers pressed together before touching the still image of her deceased father, and then continuing through the house.

Peyton wiped her cheek when Jenny knocked on the door, leaving a smudge of blue paint on her skin, "hey, kiddo, how was school?"

"Same"

"Sounds thrilling" Peyton smiled, "don't worry, next year it's a fresh school and a fresh start. I have a good feeling about LA" she picked up the brush and added to her latest painting, "goodbye Sacramento" she added in a whisper.

"I was thinking" Jenny began, her voice nervous, "instead of spending the summer on the west coast maybe we could… go home"

At the words Peyton frowned, her eyes going back to Jenny, true confusion in the green depth "home?"

"Yeah, Savannah" Jenny buried her hands into her jean pockets, "I've been thinking about Dad and… I don't know, I thought it would be cool, you know, to go back home, see where you guys got married and went to college"

"Jenny" Peyton's voice lowered then trailed off, the brush dropping from her fingers, then her eyes brightened as a mask took over her face, that forced smile back, "maybe we can talk about it later, okay?"

Jenny's mouth opened into an O shape, instantly knowing her mother was really saying no, she stepped further into the room, "or maybe we could visit Tree Hill, see where you guys grew up?"

"That's an idea" Peyton nodded, "I'll think about it."

-x-

"You said you would think about it" Jenny pulled the tape back with an edge of frustration, her motions all more exaggerated and louder than necessary.

Peyton understood her daughter's emotions, "I did think about it" Peyton avoided Jenny's deep blue eyes as she continued to pack up the studio, "I did. There's nothing in Savannah for us, not anymore, and there's so many other places we haven't seen yet" she tried to sound positive though her own frustration kept in.

Another angry screech of tape being pulled back, Jenny stared at the back of Peyton's head. The glare was felt by the older blonde, Peyton let her shoulders sag and turned slightly, "There was a time Savannah was my home, our home, and I was the happiest I ever was but then it became the setting for the worse time in my life and the memories… they're hard, Jen, and I don't think I can walk the same streets without your dad holding my hand, I don't think I can drive" Peyton stumbled over the words, "the same streets… the thought of it takes my breath away"

"I don't remember, I don't remember having a home-" Jenny rolled her eyes at the look Peyton sent her, "- I mean a real home. I love you Mom but I don't want a new adventure all the time, I want friends-"

"You have friends all over the country"

"No. I don't" Jenny pushed the latest packed box away from her, "we move and they move on. They have their own lives, real friends they can hang out with that get picked over me, its awkward to talk about things I don't get to be a part, and I don't know if you noticed but I made no friends this year, I'm the weird new kid that there's no point in being nice to because I'll be gone soon anyway"

"I know this year was hard but it also sounds like you didn't miss out much with the kids here, it won't be the same at the next school"

"Yes, it will be, because it is always temporary. Everything is temporary"

"Not me" Peyton's voice deepened, she crawled towards her daughter, "you're stuck with me, kid"

"I want more, Mom. I love you but I want more" her eyes glistened and Peyton sucked in her breath at the realisation her daughter was no longer happy.

Without though Peyton answered, "okay" she nodded to herself, "okay let's do it, settle down" she got more enthused about it, "after this summer we pick our favourite place and make it our home, maybe we could go back to Maine, you loved it there, we can find out what school Sasha and Mel are going to-"

"Really?" Jenny's expression lightened, "you're serious?"

"It doesn't have to be there, we can explore other options, travel this summer, and at the end we can pick. Together" Peyton stopped when Jenny threw herself into her mother's arms and straight away Peyton knew it was the right decision.

"Thank you, Mom"

"Anything for you" Peyton wrapped her arms back around Jenny, hugging her daughter with everything in her.

-x-

For the first time in years Jenny didn't feel a pang as she threw her last bag into the back of the comet and watched her mother slam it shut, "come on, kiddo, the world awaits" the words escaped from Peyton, habit. Jenny smiled as their eyes met with the realisation, knowing that this would be the last time Jenny happily laughed and jumped into the passenger seat, not bothering to look back at the villa that had been the roof over her head for the last nine months, "farewell, Sacramento!"

"Hello San Francisco" Peyton finished.

"For the weekend" Jenny confirmed, eyeing her mom.

"Yes, yes, god, how many times do I have to say it" Peyton turned the radio up, "I love this song"

Not batting an eyelash Jenny turned the radio back down, "if we stick to the plan we'll be in Tree Hill in two weeks"

"Yep, though don't get your hopes up too much, it's not the most exciting town" Peyton laughed, "there's about three things to do in Tree Hill"

"Is that why Dad had me at sixteen?" Jenny grinned cheekily.

"Now you mention it, teen pregnancy was a little too common. Did I mention Tree Hill is banned from the final list? I am too young to be a grandmother" she made it sound like a joke yet Peyton was serious, "one week there and then we head north"

"Yep, got it, one week, seven days, 168 hours" she smiled with each word and Peyton smiled back at her daughter, thrilled at the happiness.

It is just a week, one week. Peyton thought over the words, content that she could handle one week and then it would be over.

-x-