Chapter One: Bereavement
Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows
Martin Luther King, Jr.
April 25, 2009
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Life goes on. There is a synchronous relationship between life and death. One is not possible without the other. Simply put, it is the only way to sustain life as we know it. The old must perish for the young to thrive. Survival of the fittest. Etcetera, etcetera.
In short, farewell is as much of an integral part of life as welcoming the new ones. Yet, we are never really prepared to say goodbye. No matter how long or short the life was, there is a significant emptiness left behind when one says adieu. Stranded in the midst of grief, you either drown or live by the tides.
Grief is just love with no place to go.
It has been over 9 years since the Battle of Hogwarts, in fact, coming closer to the 10 year mark, and yet, the Wizarding World is still recovering from the aftershocks of a war that the Light won. Deep down, Hermione knew that there were no winners.
Only victims. Hermione thought bitterly.
Yes, Voldemort is dead. Stuck forever in a limbo for eternity. The general population of Wizarding World rejoiced over this fact, for what fate is worse than being unable to pass on to the afterlife or to even return as a disembodied spirit?
This, however, gave hope to his most loyal followers. Plenty of Death Eaters who were captured and imprisoned during the battle soon mysteriously escaped. Dementors vanished into thin air and fear gripped the society once again. The roads became empty with everyone choosing to stay locked up inside their houses, peering through the curtains. No one knew who to trust. Wands were drawn. Curses at the tip of the tongues.
Waiting for danger to strike.
Constant vigilance.
The Order of Phoenix and the Auror Office rallied again immediately, but it was far from successful. Only a handful of Death Eaters were captured and they knew nothing. The interrogations were fruitless. It soon came to the point that they started saying what we needed to hear. It is not possible to extract information out from those who did not have the information in the first place.
And so, they were constantly under monitoring. For when they return, if they return, they will come for those left behind.
There are several high profile, skilled Death Eaters still at large which led to a series of events that shaped the Wizarding World as it is now.
Kingsley Shacklebolt was named the acting Minister of Magic, immediately following the Battle of Hogwarts, a position which was later on made permanent. Playing an instrumental role in reshuffling and ridding the Ministry of corruption and discrimination, he garnered respect and admiration from the public. He was exactly what the community needed. Hermione both idolised and feared the man for he had managed to do the impossible.
Regardless of the threats faced on a daily basis, he has managed to lull the public into a false sense of calm. Roads filled out again, shops reopened and laughter was heard.
Quoting Jean Housten, "At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities."
Perhaps it was having the Boy-who-lived as the Head of Auror. The Golden Trio dedicating their lives to round up every and all Death Eaters and their accomplices. Members of the Order of Phoenix assisting at different levels of the Ministry.
Or maybe, it was the Ministry's initiative to personally ensure public safety by providing routine renewal of wards around properties. The list goes on. No one can dispute the efforts put into ensuring the safety of the community.
However, if only the veil is lifted, would they understand how grim the reality is. It is very simple.
The veil would be peeled off instantly if the Death Eaters strike. The present situation is just the calm before the storm.
The heart does not know what the eyes cannot see.
There has been no known activity by the Death Eaters at large. No magical signature. No magical trace. No unexplained crimes or activities both in Wizarding World and in the Muggle World.
Nothing.
It is as if they literally disappeared off the face of Earth.
Everyone aware of this knows that the more time that passes by, the stronger the impact of an attack would be and that led to the events of today.
Anything can happen: anything. Or nothing.
Hermione Granger stood in a room packed with people. Glancing around she mentally noted everyone in attendance. Everyone is impatient to get this over with. Understandable since they were standing several grounds under the Azkaban. Despite the absence of Dementors, the place was cold.
Grim.
An evil necessity.
A new unplottable location where all the discussions, strategic planning and decisions regarding the imminent threats took place. Everyone here is sworn to secrecy regarding all that is discussed in this room. One cannot speak about what was discussed to someone who wasn't in attendance. It took months to come up with this security detail.
Hermione along with The Department of Mysteries created something that could only be described as a new and unusual form of magic.
Desperate time calls for desperate measures.
The magic placed in this room and its occupants can only be described as morally grey. However, if the past taught any lesson, it is that betrayal is undeniably inevitable. One can set forth a series of events that can be a catastrophe and so, precautions are a necessity.
Hermione herself does not understand the entire intricacy of the spell work in this room.
Early on, Kingsley decided that knowledge is a weapon. Knowing all, gives one immense power over the rest, which formed the basis of all his strategies. His meticulous scheming ensured that he himself does not hold a power above everyone else. It forced unlikely partnerships to form and work together to achieve a specific goal.
Unbelievably a brilliant plan.
One that assured that if a betrayal took place, it would not crumble everything. Rather, it would just be a vibration which triggers a sequence of defence measures in place to mitigate the damage.
Take the Auror's department for example.
Harry despite being the Head of Auror has to coordinate with even the International Confederation of Wizards, a classified organisation, whose powers and jurisdictions are unknown. In fact, the Supreme Mugwump, the successor of Babajide Akingbade, remains a mystery till date. Only a handful of people hold the knowledge regarding the activities of this organisation and Hermione is glad to not be part of it. From how Harry goes on, it is a lot of responsibility and she already has enough on her plate.
What they did know was that half of the cells in Azkaban are full thanks to the Head of Incarceration. No one knows whether it is a man or a woman. The title is said with awe and respect.
Tales sung, idolised and stories spreading like wildfire.
A guiding light, at times like this.
Harry caught her eyes across the room and rushed towards her. Hermione schooled her expression hoping it conveyed calm instead of distress, but Harry saw right through her.
"Hey. Are you sure you want to do this?" Harry frowned and held her hands trying to catch her eyes.
Hermione could feel her inner turmoil beginning to erupt. Hours spent on calming herself seemed to have been a waste of time. She cannot explain her current predicament.
The plan was solid. It took almost an year to perfect it, but there has been a growing sense of unease and doubt whispering subconsciously, urging her to call the whole thing off. A sixth sense that something is about to go south and that the shoe she had been waiting to drop for 9 years is finally going to drop.
Chaos.
Trust your instincts.
Hermione started to nod her head only to stop and shake her head trying to organise her thoughts.
"That's it. I am calling it off." Harry stated firmly and sent a Patronus to Kingsley.
"What? No, Harry! What have you done?"
Colour drained from her face and she tried to control her breathing. Hours and hours of planning only for the inevitable to be delayed.
The clock will strike. The devil will come.
Harry gave her a look which was a testament to how much things have changed. Gone was the impulsive boy who rushed head first into a situation without proper planning. Standing in front of her is a man who is every bit a strategist as Kingsley. Years of training has made him into a weapon and force to be reckoned with. Most importantly, it ensured that no one questioned his decisions.
Harry matured beyond his age and perhaps even beyond her. His experience through the war coupled with fatherhood not only gave him a purpose to fight everyday, but equipped him with the ability to read and understand people's body languages and expressions to a point that he has started taking training sessions for other Aurors in that field. Mandatory impromptu sessions held at odd hours due to Harry's busy schedule. Ron complains about how the sessions are worse than Divination.
"Very well. I will be there in a minute. Meet me at the entrance." Kingsley's corporeal Lynx Patronus landed gracefully in front of Hermione.
His loud, deep and slow voice commanded the attention of everyone in the room. Few glanced at each other before proceeding towards the apparition point as the unspoken command to leave was given.
That there is a change of plan that needs further discussion and when time comes, it will be shared with the rest.
Instead of dispersing into thin air, the Lynx tilted its head in what can only be described as concern.
Err on the side of precaution.
Within seconds only Ron, Percy, Harry and Hermione were the only ones in the room. The three peering concerningly at Hermione who had her eyes closed and solely focusing on breathing.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
After what seemed to be ages, Hermione opened her eyes only to see Harry standing next to her with a thoughtful expression.
Scheming.
"Where's?" Hermione started to ask.
"They went ahead to greet Kingsley. Take your time. No rush." Harry grasped her hand and started rubbing circles on her palms unconsciously.
"Talk to me, Hermione. And don't say everything is fine because it isn't!" Harry pinched his mouth into a line. Eyebrows pressed together as though trying to decipher a complicated puzzle.
"I agree with him." Kingsley's voice floated to her from behind.
Hermione whipped her head back in surprise and drew her wand impulsively.
Fight or flight.
Everyone drew their eyebrows up in response. Looks were exchanged over Hermione's shoulder. Silent communication took place between Harry and Kingsley while Percy and Ron seemed to be having a conversation of their own.
"I will stay with Ginny until you return. Promised James that I will take him on a broom ride if the sky is clear." Ron said over his shoulder as he started walking out of the room.
"Thanks mate." Harry called out to him still maintaining eye contact with Kingsley while Percy proceeded to conjure a table in the middle of the room.
Without breaking a stride, Percy gently guided Hermione into one chair and took a seat next to her sitting close, but not touching her. He did not speak, yet Hermione was comforted with him by her side.
Soon enough the four of them were sitting in silence waiting for Hermione to start speaking.
Silence speaks when words can't.
Seconds passed into minutes and the only sound heard was Hermione's breathing. What started as deep controlled breaths gradually turned into short painful breaths as the tension in the room mounted.
Waiting. Ready.
"I-" Hermione started and stopped immediately to take a deep breath.
Harry took her hands in his palm and started rubbing circles on her hands. A movement so familiar and calming.
When did things turn like this?
Hermione hated being weak, but this year has shattered all the walls she erected around her mind. It was years of stress culminating and finally causing cracks which are now gaping wide. Though she is every bit the strategist she was before, she is riddled with self doubt. Questioning every move and every decision she makes, for lives are at stake. She cannot deal with another failure.
Loss of another-
Grief for all the lives lost.
There will be casualties in war. Nothing prepared Hermione to deal with having to live with the guilt that followed. Every year around the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione drew into herself more and more. Instead of attending the gatherings at The Burrow, Hermione chose to spend the days locked up in her room staring through the window at the sky. Tears have long dried up, but her heart still mourns every loss.
Survivor's guilt.
She sucked in a tortured breath before speaking. "What if we succeed in drawing them out? What then? How would the public react to it? We don't know the exact strength or resources they have at their disposal. The fact that they remained silent for years is concerning. What if by drawing them out, we end up shattering the semblance of normality we worked on for years? Or worse, what if all of it is for nothing? It will affect everyone!"
"Valid concerns." Percy tipped his head towards Kingsley waiting for him to speak.
"I am afraid we do not have any other option. As you pointed out, them remaining silent for years is the reason we need to act now. They are completely off our radar and there isn't even a faintest trace of their magical signature. As you know, most of them are Purebloods who relied heavily on magic for basic needs. The Ministry of Magical Population informed that their records imply that none of them are dead. They are still very much alive and that alone is enough of a reason to suffice an action from us. We cannot sit and wait for another 10 years to see them resurface again, stronger than ever."
"I cannot divulge the sequence of events that lead to this decision, but it is not one that I took lightly. I am well aware of the impact it would have, not only in Wizarding World, but also in the Muggle World. This plan is still a developing one. We improvise as we go. Just like we did today. If I can, I would say more on this matter, but I am not at liberty of sharing more information at present." Kingsley leaned forward resting his hands on the table. His face is devoid of any emotion. Eyes staring off seemingly at nothing.
Past interactions indicated that he, himself, has concerns regarding the course of action.
Siren ringing in her ears.
Questions on the tip of her tongue, but unable to be voiced out.
"Are you concerned regarding-" Kingsley started hesitantly and Hermione immediately protested. "No, not at all. Truth to be told, there are far more pressing issues on my mind."
"Ron offered." Percy broke his silence and stated quietly.
Hermione and Harry exchanged a look.
Hermione and Ron started dating immediately after the war, but it was bittersweet and short.
Ron, grieving the loss of his brother, focused all his energy on either work or his family. He wanted nothing more than to settle down and start a family, but she simply wasn't ready for it. Still processing the loss of her loved ones, her friends and coming to terms that she cannot reverse the memory modification on her parents, Hermione could not offer Ron what he desperately wanted. What started as a culmination of unspoken frustrations, concern and image projected to the outside world finally shattered one day.
While Ron took the breakup hard, it was a relief for Hermione.
It only added to her guilt.
She spent hours crying on Harry's shoulder as he reassured her that her feelings were valid. In the end, it was as though a huge weight had been lifted off of her and it led them to where they are right now.
Everything happens for the best.
Words that she and Harry firmly believed in, but the same could not be said for the Weasley family. They still hope that they will reconcile one day. That this was just temporary.
They were just too different. It would never work.
Hermione looked at Harry hoping he would change the subject which he did as soon as he caught on.
"What about the register at Hogwarts? Can't we use that to find the location? They managed to deliver my letter while I was in the middle of nowhere." Harry ran a hand in his hair in frustration.
Percy gave a small smile to Hermione, understandingly and replied. "We tried that several times. All the letters were delivered back to Hogwarts a week later and the Owls were exhausted. Hagrid thinks that they must have spent days flying around unable to deliver the letter. We even tried locating charms. Nothing worked so far." Exhaustion was evident from Percy's voice.
"What about the new spell they developed last week?" Harry pressed.
Kingsley folded his hands before replying, "Unsuccessful. We coordinated with Gringotts and all the other banks in the Wizarding World. No withdrawal from any accounts monitored or any flagged transactions since the day of the Battle."
"Bill has been coordinating with Muggle banks too. Nothing so far." Percy offered quietly.
Endless options.
Only in this case, they have exhausted all the available options. All the resources at their disposal, yet it isn't enough.
Percy and Harry hung their heads in defeat. Hermione looked around the table observing the haggard appearance of the three men.
"We really don't have any other option, do we?"
They slowly shook their heads, each lost in their own thoughts.
"Very well then. We shall proceed." Hermione spoke softly, hugging her hands around her waist knowing that nothing would be the same again.
Hermione apparated home five hours later, exhausted and with the impending signs of a migraine developing.
Half an hour after their discussion, Kingsley called forth the meeting as initially planned and spent an hour briefing everyone on the expected developments over the coming days. Rest of the time was spent on calming the crowd which did not happen even after a detailed explanation on how it is the last option. At the end, it was the respect that everyone had for Kingsley that ended the discussion for the day.
No one was happy about it, but everyone understood that it was the last resort. One by one they left the meeting, dreading what is to come.
Hermione soaked in a bath and was about to turn into the bed when her wards alerted her of the arrival of Ginny with her three kids. Frowning, Hermione rushed downstairs to see all of them dressed in their sleepwear. Ginny held both Lily and Albus in her arms while James tugged on her pants.
"What is going on?" Hermione asked Ginny as she scooped a half-asleep Lily into her arms.
"Harry suggested we spend the night here. He will be working late and took an international portkey. I can't sleep knowing what is about to come."
Hermione started guiding the family upstairs. "Of course. Come on up."
It took less than fifteen minutes to get the kids tucked into the bed. As James finally nodded off, Hermione closed the book she was reading out loud and gestured to Ginny to follow her to her room.
They both lay on Hermione's bed, each lost in their own thoughts.
"It will be alright." Ginny squeezed her hand before turning over to her side waiting for sleep to come.
Would it?
April 26, 2009
Ginny huffed before casting a tempus charm.
2am.
Groaning, Ginny pressed her hands into her eyes and buried herself deeper into the pillow.
"I will get us some Dreamless Potion." Hermione shuffled out of bed and headed downstairs.
"Pain relief potion too." Ginny groaned into her pillow.
Just as she started heading back up to her room, her wards alerted Harry entering her house near to the edge of the wards.
Weird.
Why enter so far away?
Unless.
Hermione rushed out of her house and ran down the lane. Harry stood waiting patiently with his hands in his pocket.
"What is it?" Hermione called out as she got closer to him.
"Do you trust me?" Harry asked her after a pause.
Hermione walked up to him and searched his face for clues, but it was expressionless. Auror training mandated Occlumency training which Harry perfected over the years.
Lips pursed, Hermione nodded stiffly waiting for Harry to explain.
"I need you to adjust your ward to let someone apparate directly into your house. For security purposes, there are no other options."
Shocked, Hermione gaped at him waiting for him to go on.
"At this time? Who?"
Harry shuffled before looking at her and replied, "The Iris Delegate of the International Confederation of Wizards"
"And that is?"
"Theodore Nott and-" Harry spoke softly, raising his arm in a manner to assure her of no harm as Hermione immediately shifted her stance defensively.
Nothing really changed in the Wizarding World, did it? Purebloods remain at positions of power. It is still a patriarchal society where blood prejudices still exist.
A blight on the conscience.
The fact that Theodore Nott is a member of the International Confederation of Wizards raises the question regarding the other members of the organisation. How can someone as young as Hermione hold such a high position already? Sure, Theodore Nott is not a Death Eater, but there are known Death Eaters in his family. How can one be sure that he is not aiding and abetting?
All her questions died, before she could voice them, as her attention drifted off.
A warning of the impending about to break lose.
One: Harry can modify her wards since he is her secret keeper.
The fact that he didn't means he is worried about how she would react. Hermione never had a personal interaction with Theodore Nott and so, do not have any reason to act rashly. It was unexpected, yes. It put her on guard, but it does not explain Harry's hesitance.
It does not explain why he is standing here in the middle of the night scheming.
Two: He said Theodore Nott and- meaning there is someone else too.
Harry wasn't worried about how she would react regarding Theodore. He is worried about how she would react to the other one.
The hair on her neck stood up.
Narrowing her eyes, she asked. "Who else?"
"The Head of Incarceration." and after a beat of silence, Harry muttered "Draco Malfoy."
The disasters numb within us
caught in the chest, rolling
in the brain like pebbles. The feelings
resembles lumps of raw dough
weighing down a child's stomach on baking day.
Or Rilke said it, "My heart...
Could I say of it, it overflows
with bitterness... but no, as though
its contents were simply balled into
formless lumps, thus
do I carry it about."
The same war
continues.
Denise Levertov
Disclaimer: The Wizarding World and that Universe is a property of JKR.
A/N: To all Dramione fans: this is a story that I had been plotting for months now. I have brought several major changes to the storyline from when I began writing this, but I am very happy and confident with the direction this is heading towards now, so this is the first of many to come.
It is a slow burn fic and I will be updating biweekly. (Hopefully)
There are lots of pieces which will hopefully come together and fit tightly and perfectly as the story progresses.
My first fanfiction so bear with me. Thanks to those who read this and enjoy this.
Darkcarnage721
Edited: 28/09/2022