A/N: Yeah, so since I'm writing a new Fate/Kyon's Order story, I decided to put this series back up despite being technically incomplete, since 'Arcueid's Arrival' references a few things that happened here. Maybe I'll even write another episode or two if I feel like it... anyway, enjoy!
Fate/Kyon's Order: Alter Egos in Chaldea
A Haruhi Suzumiya & Fate/Grand Order Crossover
by Derald Snyder
Part 1: Violet and Passionlip
"Honestly, I would like to know your thought process for bringing these two here!" Nero Claudius, Empress of Roses, pointed to two other women who shared dark lilac-colored hair, but that was where the similarities ended. One was tall and thin with a decent-sized bust, wearing round-rimmed glasses on her face, while the other had a cute face, but disgustingly huge breasts, thankfully constrained by a dark bodice, and claws that were even larger, taking up most of the hallway's width. These were Violet and Passionlip, Alter Egos created from the discarded emotions of the Moon Cancer known as Black Blossom, or 'BB' for short, as she preferred to be called.
"Blossom-san insisted," replied Yuki Nagato, an interface for the extraterrestrial entity known as the Integrated Sentient Data Entity, or ISDE for short. She was somewhat small and lean in stature, her lilac hair a few shades lighter than the Alter Egos'. "Originally, BB would have been able only to transport herself to Chaldea after SERAPH vanished. However, she is not completely trustworthy, so I agreed to bring the surviving Alter Egos here in order to try and keep her in check somewhat."
"So are the other two here as well?" Nero pressed.
"Yes, but they are still compressed into cube form, due to Passionlip's Trash and Crash skill," Yuki responded. "Kingprotea's brainwashing by Beast III/R with Kuyou Suou's power has yet to be undone..."
"Not to mention she would likely destroy the facility just by manifesting here," Violet spoke up. "As for Kazuradrop... well, she is even less trustworthy than Mother, who at least has benevolent intentions sometimes."
"It's too bad..." Passionlip sighed. "I wish Drop didn't hate us so much... but there's nothing I can do about it..." a single tear leaked from her eye. "Oh, Melt..."
"Oh, this won't do," Nero said as she pulled out a handkerchief, carefully approaching Lip and wiping her face. "Despite our animosity in the past, I can't bear to see you cry..."
"Thank you..." Passionlip nodded in gratitude. "I... When we first met, I didn't really understand myself or what I was doing... I thought I was a normal girl at the time..."
"Well, I'm glad you see the truth now," Nero stated solemnly. "And hopefully Meltryllis can be summoned here, so you can be reunited."
"About that," Yuki spoke up. "If and when Meltryllis is summoned, she will have no memory of the SERAPH singularity, so try to keep that in mind."
"She won't remember anything? Does that mean she'll be like she was when we first met...?" Nero turned to the interface.
"I cannot say, as I was not there," Yuki replied honestly.
"It's all right," Violet assured the saber, "our presence here should help set her at ease somewhat. Even if she doesn't remember the events with Beast III/R, she should remember us at least."
"Yes, a-and I'll try t-to be a good younger sister for her!" Passionlip promised. "I-I just hope my claws don't d-destroy everything by accident..."
"I have already taken care of that," Yuki assured her. "As long as you are within the Chaldea facility, your claws will be rendered relatively harmless. At the least, you should not have to worry about humans being killed instantly from touching them."
"R-really?! Oh, thank goodness!" Lip sighed in relief. "Thank you so much, Miss Yuki! I'd hug you if I could, but..."
"It is fine. As long as you and the others assimilate into Chaldea's community with little trouble. I will assist where I can, within reason..."
"What in the name of..." the group turned to see a Clock Tower mage gaping at the sight of Passionlip.
"Um, h-hello!" Lip raised up a claw in greeting. "I know I look a little scary, but-"
"Yahhhhh! Sisigou! McFremitz!" the mage turned tail and fled in terror. "There's some grotesque monster with a girl's face in the facility...!"
"Well... I would be lying if I said I wasn't expecting that," Nero lamented with her hands on her hips.
"Who are Sisigou and McFremitz?" Violet asked, tensing up slightly.
"Combat-oriented mages who recently arrived here," Yuki answered. "Do not worry, I will assure them you mean no harm..." A few minutes later, the two mages in question came running up. The first looked like your typical biker punk, well-built with a mustache, beard and sunglasses hiding his eyes. The second was a petite woman with short purple hair, dressed in a light brown business suit and pants.
"What the hell...?!" Kairi Sisigou came to an abrupt halt upon seeing Passionlip, briefly pulling his sunglasses down to ensure he wasn't seeing things.
"What is she...? Is she a servant?!" Bazett McFremitz assumed a defensive stance. "Medusa, is she a friend of yours?"
"Medusa...? Oh, you mean me," Violet realized. "I'm afraid you are mistaken, but you weren't too far off. I am Violet, the Alter Ego of purity. I am composed of several Heroic Spirits' Saint Graphs, of which Medusa is one, the others being Apsara and Melusine. As for my sister here, she is composed of Byrnhild, Parvati, and Durga, the latter of which is responsible for her giant claws, as they represent the ten blades of Durga."
"The blades of Durga?! ...well, that explains that, I guess," Kairi muttered, relaxing a little. "But who created you two? Was it you, alien?"
"A reasonable guess for you to make, but incorrect," Yuki demurred. "Another entity known as the Cancer of the Mooncell supercomputer, or Moon Cancer for short, is responsible for their creation. I simply helped bring them to Chaldea from the singularity where they originated."
"Wait, there was a singularity?" Bazett spoke up again. "I don't remember any alerts happening since we arrived here..."
"It will take some time to explain," Yuki stated. "Do you know what a void phenomenon is?"
"Oh yeah, I heard of that!" Sisigou nodded. "It's what happens when something so bizarre occurs, Alaya or Gaia simply acts like it never happened to begin with, right?"
"Yes. But these entities did not deserve to be consigned to oblivion... in fact, their assistance was vital in resolving the singularity successfully."
"Oh, so you brought them here as thanks for helping you out," Bazett realized, relaxing fully.
"So is that Moon Cancer here as well?" Kairi inquired next.
"Yes, but she is currently indisposed," Yuki nodded. "Suzumiya-san is dealing with her at the moment, but you will meet her soon enough."
"Suzumiya?! Uh oh, I think Mother may have bitten off more than she can chew this time..." Lip worried.
"Well, that would be the best way for her to learn to behave herself," Violet postulated with a smirk. "Anyway, since you're here, perhaps you could give us a tour of this place?"
"Ah, leave that to me!" Nero insisted. "I have been residing here for far longer, after all, so I know this place like the back of my hand!"
"How about we accompany you anyway, just to put the staff's minds at ease?" Bazett suggested.
"I have no objection," Yuki assented. "However, I must go and inform Director Da Vinci of what transpired in the singularity. If you will excuse me." Bowing to the mages, she turned and walked off.
"Very well then, off we go!" Nero declared. "Let us proceed to the Salon de Marie first! I think you will appreciate the decor, though it does not quite compare to Rome's majesty!"
"Lead the way, Red Saber," Violet said with a small nod.
*Salon de Marie*
"Oh wow... I've never seen anything like this before!" Passionlip looked about in awe. Despite Nagato's earlier assurance, she remained close to the entrance out of fear of tearing up the fancy carpeting.
"This is quite impressive," Violet agreed.
"Yes, it is," Bazett nodded as well.
"I'm not sure it sits so well with me," Sisigou muttered uncomfortably. "I think I'll stick to the regular cafeteria, with all due respect." Just then, the group became aware of two kitsunes exiting the kitchen doors with platters of food, the smell making some of their mouths water.
"Glad to see you're halfway decent at cooking now, stupid me!" Tamamo Cat ribbed, dressed in her maid outfit.
"I've always been a good cook!" the original Tamamo shot back. "Don't you dare drop your tray, berserker!"
"Right back at you, stupid!" Cat said as they separated to deliver the food to their clients.
"Well, at least they're not fighting in the physical sense," Bazett observed.
"Nameless- I mean, Emiya tends to keep the kitchen staff tightly disciplined," Nero explained.
"Nameless?" Kairi raised an eyebrow.
"That's now we knew him in the grail war where we first met," the empress explained.
"Heeeyyy! Lip, you're here!" Tamamo Cat bounded over a few booths, holding a now-empty tray, stopping before the Alter Ego. "So it wasn't a dream after all, woof! I'm so happy I could just shed!"
"Please don't," Bazett shook her head.
"Hi, Cat!" Lip greeted happily. "So you cook for this place?"
"I do now, woof! Even the head chef's mouth was watering! You shoulda seen the look on stupid me's face!" Cat babbled. "I'm a bit busy, so I can't give you lessons now, though..."
"Th-that's okay," Lip replied. "We're just touring the place right now, anyway..."
"Oh, okay. Maybe some other time then!" Cat nodded. "Anyway, I gotta get back to get the next dish ready! Can't let stupid me show me up, after all! Bye for now! Woof!" She quickly scampered away and back through the kitchen doors.
"...who'd imagine a berserker would be such a good cook?" Kairi muttered.
"Well, she's supposed to be my pure side," the original Tamamo said as she walked up. "So, you're here... I'm guessing BB is here as well?"
"I believe Haruhi Suzumiya is dealing with her at the moment, or so that alien said," Nero responded. "But I'm sure we'll have to deal with her again soon enough... I'm almost getting a migraine just thinking about it."
"Well, if Master is able to rein her in, hopefully that will cut down on the headaches," Tamamo mused.
"So, is this BB the 'Moon Cancer' that Nagato was referring to earlier?" Bazett inquired.
"That's her," Violet nodded. "Hopefully she'll restrict her behavior to trolling the Masters and whatnot..."
"Sounds like a real piece of work," Sisigou said. "Of course, I'm kinda eccentric among mages, so what right do I have to talk?" He looked over at Passionlip, pulling down his sunglasses to give her a wink and a smile, causing the Alter Ego to blush in response...
*Later, at Fantasia Resort...*
"Oh, wow!" Lip gasped upon seeing the beach sands and sea, having a to squint a little due to glare from the artificial sun. "Th-this what the beach is like...?!"
"You would think that we just stepped through an access gate to another sector of the Mooncell," Violet observed, similarly awed. "But this is the first time I've felt such heat and moisture in the air... the material plane is so very fascinating!"
"Well, this cannot compare to the splendor of Rome's beaches, but it comes very close!" Nero said with a smile. The group was currently standing on one of the boardwalks leading down to the beach proper, watching both staff and servants enjoying themselves in the sun and surf.
"I want to check out the beach!' Passionlip exclaimed as she made her way onto the beach proper, only to start sinking into the sands! "Ahhh! What's going on?! I'm sinking!"
"Lip, did you forget that you weigh 1000 kilograms?" Violet closed her eyes and put a finger to her forehead in annoyance.
"Seriously?!" Sisigou freaked out.
"Scold me later! I don't wanna get buried alive!" Lip cried as her legs sank past her knees.
"Can you not detach your claws?" Nero pointed out.
"Oh, right!" This Passionlip did, her descent slowing to a stop, now buried to her thighs. However, her claws kept sinking until only the detached wrists were visible above the sand. "Um, can somebody dig me out?!" she cried loudly.
"Have no fear, Quetzalcoatl is here!" A lithe female figure flipped and twirled in front of the sun, before landing in a standing position with arms out stretched, revealed to be a blonde wearing an elaborate headdress, her attire clearly derived from Mexico. "Oh my, it seems you were a bit heavy for the beach sands, yes? Don't worry, I'll get you out!" She promptly dug out around the Alter Ego's legs, freeing them in short order, before lifting her onto the boardwalk!
"C-can you get my claws too, please?" Lip requested as Violet and Kairi helped her stand up.
"No problemo, señora!" Quetz agreed, easily lifting one of Lip's claws out of the beach and setting it back on the boardwalk, then doing the same with the other, Lip promptly attaching them back to her body.
"Thank you so much!" Lip exclaimed, bowing her head in gratitude.
"So this is the South American goddess Quetzalcoatl?" Bazett said, looking nonplussed. "She's nothing like I expected..."
"She really likes lucha libre," Nero said.
"Mexican wrestling, huh? Too bad you're a servant, or I'd ask for a match," Kairi said with a smirk.
"Hmm, indeed, there aren't many who can match me," Quetz lamented. "That Suzumiya challenged me once, but of course, she was no match~!"
"Is she foolish or insane?" Bazett sighed.
"Ah, well, her servant incarnation-"
"You mean her ancestor," Nero said quickly.
"Oh! Ah, yes, of course! Anyway, that servant took me on in the Babylonia singularity, which ended in a decisive victory for me!"
"Actually, I heard she won on a technicality, because she was lying on top of you for the three count!" a voice taunted in the distance!
"What?! Th-that's not true!" Quetzalcoatl stammered. "Who said that?!"
"I did!" The owner of the voice was revealed to be a lanky man with messy brown hair and blue eyes, with a small mustache that seemed out of place on his cute face.
"Kenji Asahina!" Nero turned to the new arrival with her hands on her hips. "You should know better than to taunt Quetzalcoatl like that, she might just piledrive you into the beach or something!"
"Oh no, I wouldn't do that!" Quetz denied. "Perhaps just a little headlock and noogie would suffice, no?"
"How about you leave that to me, ma'am," Sisigou, said, striding up to Kenji, who promptly lost his nerve and fled back into Club Cove, which linked to Chaldea proper. "Heh, typical paper tiger!"
"He's right, though," another voice spoke up, revealed to be the Mesopotamian goddess Ishtar, currently fused with the body of Rin Tohsaka, who was currently dressed in a pink hoodie over a white one-piece swimsuit. "I know, because I was there when it happened!"
"I-I took the brunt of the impact so she wouldn't be sent back to the Throne of Heroes! She was at her limit!" Quetz protested.
"Tohsaka...?" Violet asked, confused.
"Hmm? Oh, no, not quite, I'm just using her body as a vessel so I could be summoned properly," Ishtar shook her head, before introducing herself.
"Ishtar? So you're the one whose marriage proposal was rejected by Gilgamesh?" Violet mused.
"Waaaaahhh! G-G-G-G-Gilgameeeessh?!" Passionlip screamed in terror, causing almost everyone to cover their ears from the volume. "H-he's here?!"
"Oww... yes, he's here," Ishtar grunted, shaking her head to try and dissipate the ringing in her ears. "Fortunately, he's got his stupid clay friend to keep him reined in nowadays..."
"Enkidu," Nero supplied, rubbing her temples, the screech having triggered a migraine on her part.
"Bad memories...?" Bazett grunted.
"Y-you're sure he's not g-going t-to try t-to k-kill us...?" Lip stammered, still quaking in terror.
"I don't think he has any memories of the Mooncell," Nero groaned. "Is there a bench nearby...?" Sisigou promptly walked her over to a nearby bench and sat her down.
"Well, in that case, you shouldn't have anything to fear, Lip," Violet reassured her sister.
"I-I sure hope so..." Lip heaved a sigh.
"Hey! Meduseless! Could you tell your friend to turn the volume down a bit?" Two near-identical voices called out, belonging to two identical twins with lilac-colored hair done up in twin tails, wearing similar white dresses. "She nearly blew out our eardrums!"
"...Ah. Stheno and Euryale, I presume," Violet acknowledged. "I'm afraid you've made a mistake, I am not your younger sister..."
"Who else could you be?" Stheno protested.
"Actually, I think she's telling the truth," Euryale disagreed. "Medusa wouldn't wear a shirt that shows off that much of her chest, even in battle..."
"Sisters, did you need something?" Medusa came up from another direction, wearing a pink bikini and her glasses, only to do a double-take upon seeing Violet. "Wh-what the...?"
"Ah, there you are," the Alter Ego smiled. "Greetings, Medusa. It's an honor to finally meet one of my components," She bowed politely.
"Wait, components?! What's going on here, sister?" Stheno whirled on Medusa. "Is this a trick of yours to fool us?!"
"N-no, I wouldn't do that!" Medusa shook her head in denial.
"Um, we just arrived here, actually," Lip spoke up. "Violet and I are Alter Egos from another timeline..."
"Really?" Both twins said in unison. "What's with those disgustingly huge breasts?! Have you no shame?!"
"I-I didn't ask to be created like this!" Lip squeaked in reply.
"Now, don't be like that!" Quetzalcoatl grabbed the Gorgon twins in a hug. "Heroic Spirits can't help how they manifest, you two should know that!"
"Help, Medusa! The busty cow's attacking us again!" Stheno and Euryale cried in distress.
"Don't be too rough with them, Quetzalcoatl," Medusa said with a knowing smirk as she joined the Alter Egos on the boardwalk.
"Come on! Let's go find your friend Asterios!" Quetz exclaimed, carrying the twins with her.
"Traitor!" Stheno and Euryale cried as they were dragged off.
"Um, wasn't that a bit harsh, treating your sisters like that?" Passionlip asked.
"They bully her all the time," Nero sighed, still rubbing her temples.
"But Melt does that too..." Lip trailed off, looking sad.
"...I assume your sister didn't make it," Medusa guessed. "I'm sorry for your loss..."
"Th-thank you," Lip sniffled, trying not to cry.
"At any rate, I would like to get to know you better, Medusa," Violet requested.
"Certainly, just let me get changed," the rider nodded...
*A short time later...*
The group were now seated around a table nearby Club Cove, though Passionlip was off to the side by the railing, trying to ignore stares from curious passerby. "So this 'BB' created the five of you basically on a whim?" Medusa asked Violet, having re-dressed in a modest purple t-shirt and slacks.
"More or less," Violet nodded. "I was fortunate in that I looked mostly human, but Meltryllis and Passionlip weren't so lucky... Melt had little feeling in her arms and her lower legs were basically ultra-sharp blades, and Lip, well, she speaks for herself..."
"I-I hope I can get a more normal body some day," Lip said hopefully. "Um, why is that one rider with the black beard gawking at me...?"
"Blackbeard! Shove off or I'll petrify you!" Medusa yelled, the pirate promptly snapping out of it and running off.
"So that's Edward Teach, huh?" Sisigou observed. "A little scrawny compared to his legends..."
"He's a first-rate pervert!" Nero grumbled. "He's even ogled me once or twice..."
"He's not so bad with kids, though," Ishtar observed as she floated nearby. "He gets along pretty well with Illya and Chloe, at least when Heracles doesn't get the wrong idea..."
"What do you expect of a berserker?" Nero sighed. "They're fun to play hide-and-seek with, though. At least I don't have to worry about Presence Concealment with those two, unlike Jackie..."
"I think she's learned by now that using that skill is cheating," a familiar member of Chaldea's staff walked up. "So this is where you were. Haruhi's got BB tied down right now, both literally and figuratively."
"John Smith," Nero acknowledged. "Or, do you prefer Kyon?"
"Eh, either is fine," Kyon shrugged as he sat down with the group. "So, what do you two think of this place so far?"
"I like the beach!" Passionlip nodded. "I, um, just wish I could walk on the beach without sinking down..."
"She's really heavy with those claws of hers," Kairi explained. "That Quetzalcoatl had to dig her out..."
"No surprise there," Kyon snarked. "Honestly, I thought Haruhi was exaggerating about your, um, proportions... she thinks you're really cute otherwise, though."
"S-so you're not scared of me?" Lip said.
"Nah, I've seen far worse than you," he shook his head. "I've had quite a few adventures with Haruhi, Koizumi-san and Nagato-san before I joined Chaldea proper..."
"Really? Any you can share with us?" Kairi asked curiously.
"Hmm... I'll get back to you on that," Kyon deferred. "I'd rather not say until I clear it with the others first... Let's just say there's some classified information involved and leave it at that."
"Sounds like secrecy kinda defines your life, huh?" the punker chuckled. "No wonder you were hired, you fit right in with us mages!" He laughed at this, Bazett rolling her eyes.
"Yare yare, I don't think I like being compared to those stuck-ups from the Clock Tower," Kyon shook his head.
"I know what you mean," Bazett concurred. "I took my first assignment with Sisigou here just to get away from them, honestly."
"Well, let's hope they don't try anything funny here," Violet said.
"With so many servants here? Doubtful," Kairi chuckled. "Unless they convince the higher-ups to forcibly shut down the system or something..."
"They might be just foolish enough to do that," Bazett said worryingly. "But I don't think it'll happen just yet, given that some demon god pillars are still on the loose..."
"Yes, one of them was partially responsible for our eventual arrival here," Violet pointed out. "But, well... that one bit off far more than he could chew, so to speak."
"Really? I didn't hear anything about another singularity," Medusa looked over at Violet, confused.
"Void phenomenon, according to that alien," Sisigou stated.
"Her name is Yuki Nagato," Kyon insisted. "I know you've only just arrived, sir, but you should treat her with respect."
"Sure, no problem," the punk nodded. Just then, a rumbling was felt through the area, an angry voice calling out...
"FOOLISH MONGRELLLL!"
"Ahhh! G-G-Gilgamesh!" Passionlip cried, invoking her Presence Concealment to turn invisible.
"Calm down, it's not you he's yelling about," Ishtar sighed. "There's only one thing I can think of that would make him THIS angry with his current disposition..."
"Whatever would that be?" Nero inquired curiously.
The goddess bit her lip as she considered the implications... "...Tiamat."
*To be continued...*