Author's Note 1: This is my first EVER Doctor Who fanfic AND I've never really watched the "new" Doctor Who, I've actually been going through season 1-5 of the original series as a first time watcher and am one episode away from finishing season 6. I enjoy Zoe and Jamie as companions so much I'm loath to watch "War Games", I don't want to "say goodbye"! XD

So, I know that Jamie/Victoria is easiest/usual pairing, but I found Victoria as interesting as a piece of cardboard. Zoe, to me, is a more interesting female companion with a more complex character with room for growth. I felt like she and Jamie were instantly more interesting together the moment they met. I love their contrasts, and the way they balance out each other and are both an asset to the 2nd Doctor in their own way.

Author's Note 2: I usually don't write this type of humor but a scene from a silly Korean/Chinese movie "My Wife is a Gangster 3" popped into my head and this rather silly idea bloomed from that—And Jamie's wardrobe is easy fodder for situations. One last note, I'm totally making up stuff for the interior of the Tardis, outside the control room.

Vignette 1: Stick Shift

Baltimore, Maryland, 1930

The Doctor paced by the Tardis, wringing his hands. Where were they? He had specifically told them to head back to the Tardis by half-past three. Jamie had set his wrist watch by the tall clock tower that looked like it had been erected for Lorenzo De Medici instead of the inventor of Bromo-Seltzer.

The Doctor rubbed his temples.

I could use a Bromo-Seltzer right now.

He shouldn't have let them explore while he made some maintenance repairs on the Tardis. It took him a little extra time since he sent Zoe with Jamie instead of keeping her with him to assist, to keep an eye on the young warrior.

The Doctor was about to close up the Tardis, resolved to look for them, when he heard the putter of an approaching automobile.

He turned to see a two seater coupe barreling down the road toward him. He squinted. Was that Zoe behind the wheel? The passenger seat was empty. A shudder of alarm passed through his body. Where was Jamie?

As the Doctor stared Zoe seemed to grow a second head. He blinked and rubbed his eyes. The "second head" was Jamie's poking out from behind Zoe.

What in heaven's name?

The car came to a screeching halt a foot from the Tardis. The Doctor slowly approached the car and from the closer view he could see that Zoe was sitting in Jamie's lap, wedged between the Highlander and the steering wheel.

"Jamie, Zoe, what in the world?"

The pair scrabbled for the door handle and the moment it unlatched Jamie kicked it open, and they practically fell out of the car.

"Hurry, Doctor!" Zoe yelled, grabbing at the older man's lapels. "They're right behind us!"

"Who?"

"The gangsters!"

As if on cue a town car came skidding around the corner of a building a half a block down, a machine gun report echoing off the brick walls.

"Oh, my giddy aunt!"

Now it was Jamie's turn to grab at The Doctor's jacket. "Come on." Although he was holding onto the Doctor for support instead of pulling him along. The Doctor braced Jamie's forearm as they hurried along. He noticed the young man was limping.

"Jamie! What's wrong, my boy, are you hurt?"

"Later, Doctor," Jamie ground out.

As the heavy double doors of the Tardis closed behind them, one or two bullets hit the outer door and one found its way in, embedding itself into the far wall beyond the Time Rotor.

"Well," said the Doctor, looking up at the dark hole where the bullet sunk in, "that makes quite a souvenir, hm?"

Jamie, nearly doubled over, practically limped his way to the Jacobean chair.

"Now, Jamie, are you hurt?"

The young man put up a hand to forestall the Doctor's approach.

"I'm fine, Doctor. Just a wee bit ... winded."

"You look rather flushed. Are you sure you're alright?"

Jamie nodded.

"You, too, Zoe. You're looking very red as well. Did something happen? Should I take your temperatures, or ..." the Doctor narrowed his eyes and put his hands on his hips, looking severely at them both. "Did you two sample some illegal 'hooch' while you were out there? Hm?! That was a rather unorthodox way to drive a car, Zoe!"

"Doctor," Zoe said, her voice and expression business-like. "We should really be going."

It was then the Doctor noticed the muffled, angry voices outside:

"What is that? Did they all go in there? Looks like some kind of telephone booth." Then the pounding on the door came.

"Oh my, yes—before those hoodlums try to break in. They'll ruin the woodwork."

—-

Over the course of the "day" as they travelled through space and time the Doctor watched Jamie avoid Zoe, being careful not to even make eye contact. Once Zoe tried to engage Jamie in conversation but the boy made an excuse such as needing to sharpen his dirk and slipped away.

"Ah, Zoe," the Doctor said, sidling up to the young woman who was staring at the doorway Jamie had exited through, "there's some calculations I'd like to go over with you, would you mind?"

Zoe startled slightly when the Doctor gently put his hand on her shoulder. "My dear, are you sure you're quite well?"

"Of course. I'd be happy to assist."

—

"Zoe …" The Doctor sighed in slight exasperation. He waved her paper filled with sums in front of her. "It's a good thing I checked your work, I usually don't—but, even Jamie wouldn't make such an error."

Zoe's eyes snapped up to the older gentleman for a brief moment, then dropped to the desk. She rubbed her forehand.

"I'm sorry, Doctor. I seem to be having trouble focusing."

The Doctor looked down at her thoughtfully.

"Maybe you need to rest. We've had a lot of adventures back to back lately, and that last one was a doozy ..."

"No, give me the sum again, I can do it."

"Are you sure?"

Zoe's expression took on a slight defiant quality. "Of course."

—-

Later, the Doctor heard the raised voices of his companions coming from the "solar", as they called the common room. He first identified Zoe's voice, firm and calm.

"… being so tiresome about this, Jamie … you're making a hypergiant out of a pulsar!"

"I don' even ken wha' tha' means!"

What happened in Baltimore?

"Why can't ye understand how I feel!—Oh, that's right, I forgot, ye're nae a lass, ye're a robot!"

Oh, for shame, Jamie …

There was a moment of tense silence then Zoe's clipped, efficient steps were heard. The Doctor ducked into the kitchenette, adjacent to the solar, just in time to see Zoe walk swiftly by, her expression tight.

—

Another day of agonizing awkwardness and the Doctor had had enough. The opportunity for a private confrontation came when, instead of sleeping, he found the Scot slinking around the kitchenette, trying to get a "midnight" snack from the dispenser.

The Doctor put his hand on the young man's broad shoulder. Jamie jumped.

"Goodness, Jamie! You're acting as if that "Phantom Piper" you go on about sometimes were after you."

"Ye jes' took me by surprise, Doctor."

The Doctor fisted his hands and planted them on his hips. "That's hard to do, you're usually more alert than that, Jamie." The Doctor pinned him with a severe look then directed him to the nearby table and chairs. "Sit."

Jamie reluctantly did as bid and the Doctor settled in the chair beside him.

"Now, what is going on between you two? For days you and Zoe have been acting twitchier than a pair of tomcats trapped under a rocking chair. Now, you will tell me what happened so we can resolve this issue, because you clearly are not resolving it between yourselves. If you don't I—I will have to drop you both off somewhere. I can't work under these conditions!"

"No, Doctor …" Jamie whined.

He knew that bluff would get him.

"Then tell me."

Jamie covered his face with his hands, anguished gray eyes peeked out at the Doctor from between his long, callused fingers. He slowly told the older man what had happened …

The Day Before in Baltimore:

The young Highlander grabbed Zoe's arm and pulled her into a narrow alleyway—just in time as a bootleggers' rifle report was heard and a piece of brick was chipped away from the alley corner. Jamie and Zoe were in the narrow roadways inside the suburbs of Baltimore. They had been in the wrong place at the wrong time as they were making their way back to the Tardis and the Doctor.

The pair had been mistaken for Treasury officers. The bootleggers weren't deterred by Jamie's Highland dress, "they'd seen federal agents in more ridiculous disguises", and they took Zoe for one of the new female agents hired by the Bureau.

"Come on!" Jamie grabbed Zoey's hand. But, as they ran through the alley Zoey stopped, pulling Jamie up short.

"Whaddya stoppin' fer, lass? Ye nearly yanked me arm out o' it's socket!"

Zoe stopped because they were passing a lone, parked two seater coupe.

"It's an automobile, Jamie. It will get us out of here faster."

"I ken what 'tis. I seen enough o' them by now. Good idea, lass." Jamie vaulted over the driver-side door and settled in behind the wheel. "I'll drive!"

Zoe gave him an incredulous look.

"Do you even know how?"

"I ken enough. How hard can it be?"

—

"No, push up the retard lever, then the throttle lever!" Zoe impatiently slapped at the Highlander's hands. "No! The throttle lever is on the left!"

"Reeght, Miss Know-All, how do ye even ken tha'? You're from thousands o' years in the future!"

"I worked in the Wheel's library, remember? I find the automotive technology of primitive man fascinating. I spent hours reading all the manuals I could find in the data hub."

"Sounds interesting …"

"It was." Zoe said earnestly, Jamie's sarcastic tone sailing over her head.

They finally got the car roaring to life, but it only lurched a few feet before it stopped.

"You stalled it!" Zoe cried with exasperation. "Let me drive!"

"No! I'll try again." A burble of another engine was heard close behind them. Zoe and Jamie turned in their seats to see the bootleggers had found their own vehicles and were closing in.

"Sorry, Jamie."

Zoe scrambled onto Jamie's lap, and took charge of the steering wheel.

Jamie's body jerked in shock and immediately he wriggled underneath her, trying to shift her off. "What in the name of all the saints do you think you're doin'?!"

"There's no time to switch seats! If we don't get moving now they'll get us!"

With a few deft movements of her hands and feet on levers and pedals, the car surged forward.

A bullet whistled past the driver's window and with a loud ping, bent the side view mirror. Zoe took a hard turn to the right and fishtailing into another alley, narrowly missing hitting the backend of the car against the wall.

The coupe bumped and jittered over potholes and brick-cobbled roads. Jamie suddenly sucked in a sharp, startled breath.

"Och, nae, nae, nae . . . Nae now, lad." She heard Jamie whisper harshly.

Alarm rippled through Zoe and she glanced over her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Is it nae possible we could stop for a wee moment and switch seats?"

Another gunshot was heard and a bullet whistled overhead.

"Nope."

Zoe shifted up a gear and pressed harder down on top of Jamie's foot, depressing the gas pedal further. The rush of momentum pushed her back into his solid chest.

Suddenly Zoe was very aware of something else beneath her besides Jamie's strong, tree-trunk like legs- and it wasn't his sporran—that had been forced aside by her body when she had maneuvered herself between the Highlander and the steering wheel.

What was that?

"Jamie—"

"Watch out!"

He reached around her small frame and took hold of the wheel, yanking it to the left, just in time to keep the car from drifting into a telegraph pole. But now the car was over corrected and heading towards the other side of the street and a row house stoop. Zoe jerked the wheel back, and Jamie's head bumped against the driver side window.

"Sorry!"

The car was now back on its proper course, but something was still poking her. "Jamie, am I sitting on your dagger or something?"

A mirthless chuckle came from the Highlander's lips and he said in a strained voice:

"Ye might say tha' …"

Just then car struck another pothole, again jarring Zoe against him. Jamie pressed a fist to his mouth, smothering a cry.

Zoe finally began to connect the dots. She may have been raised to be a human computer, but she knew the basics of biology. She had been educated about the old days, when humans used to procreate physically before medical science rendered the act obsolete. Children, such as herself, were made in test tubes. Poor Dr. Corwyn had filled the gaps in her knowledge when questions inevitably came up after she observed officers Tayna and Leo's behavior when they thought no one was looking. No one, except a few traditionalists back on Earth (and probably Leo and Tayna) practised the old ways

Zoe felt a prickling wave of heat rush up from her toes to her cheeks. The irrational desire leap from the car and the logical choice of staying the course to get out of real danger, warred within her.

"I'm sorry … I told ye we—" another bump, another stifled groan, "we needed tae switch."

Zoe glanced in the rear view mirror.

"I think we lost them."

She took her foot off the gas, nudging Jamie's foot to do the same, preparing to turn off the road. But, their pursuers drifted into sight behind them. Zoe hit the gas pedal and they took off again like a startled gazelle.

Zoe was pushed back into Jamie once more.

"Please, stop doin' that."

The bullets continued to fly and the road continued to be rough. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Jamie's right arm was stretched along the back of the seat, white-knuckling the leather as if it were a cliff edge and he was hanging from it.

Zoe winced against the discomfort, her heart racing from the danger and their present position.

At every bump Poor Jamie kept mumbling apologies, sometimes falling into Gaelic, saying "manathas dhomh", punctuated by whimpers and stifled groans.

"Sorry … sae sorry…"

Zoe cleared her throat. "I-it's alright, Jamie. You're experiencing a completely normal biological function for a healthy adult MALE!" The last word was shouted when the car hit a small bump in the road created by gravel that had been pushed together. Zoe was lifted up slightly, her knees being painfully squeezed against the bottom of the steering wheel, before landing back hard on Jamie.

"Dhia have mercy ..." Jamie gasped, then he growled, "I ken what I'm experiencing!"

Suddenly, the Tardis loomed into view, sitting beside the streetcar garage where they had left it.

"Jamie! We made it!

Zoe hit the breaks and shut off the engine. Jamie grabbed her by the waist and tried to push her off his lap and himself out from under her simultaneously.

"Off wi' ye lass! Off! Open the door!"

There was a moment of silence

Jamie sheepishly glanced up at the Doctor, shame and embarrassment burning in his chest. To his horror the Doctor burst out in a hearty peal of laughter.

"It's no' funny!"

"No, no, of course it's not, Jamie." The Doctor cleared his throat and tried to put on a more serious face, but a twitch around his mouth betrayed his lingering amusement. "I'm sorry that happened, that is indeed embarrassing, but it's nothing to be ashamed of, Jamie. You're a normal, healthy young man, like Zoe said, and it's not like you purposely put yourself in that situation, you weren't taking advantage of her."

"I ken that … but I still feel terrible."

The Doctor's face softened with sympathy. He took Jamie by the shoulders. The Highlander lowered his hands from his eyes.

"You're an honorable man, Jamie," the Doctor said with gravity, perhaps even more than the situation really warranted, for his young friend's sake. "You'd rather die than willfully dishonor a lady."

Jamie drew himself up, a bit of dignity returning.

"This has ne'er happened tae me before … at least," here he cleared his throat "not outside of an occasional morning—not yet with a lass ... Och, why did it have to be Zoe?"

The Doctor frowned. "Would you rather it had been Victoria?"

Jamie stiffened and his gray eyes practically bulged from his head. His face went from white to red. "Perish the thought! I really would'a died o' shame then! She would nae have understood, she would've thought I was a rogue— a-a flamin' libertine!"

"Then it is a good thing it was Zoe then."

"Ey?" Jamie gave the Doctor a shocked and quizzical look.

"Cool, clinical, Zoe, for whom facts supersede feelings. Do you want her to be upset about it?"

"Nae, o'course not."

"Then why call her a robot, Jamie? Yes, I heard you. You know she's sensitive about that. You're being awfully contrary: You don't want her to be upset, yet it seems you're upset that she is not upset, then you go and make her upset."

Jamie ran a hand down his face. "I dinna ken wha' is wrong with me. I should'nae said that, I dinnae mean it." Jamie buried his head in his hands.

"Tell that to Zoe."

Jamie found Zoe at a table in the library, bent over a set of equations.

"'Ey, lass …" Jamie said, making a tentative approach.

Zoe either did not hear him or was deliberately ignoring him. Jamie was sure it was the latter. He pulled up a chair next to hers and sat down.

"Wha' are ye working on?"

"Inputs for the Tardis for more accurate navigation— not that you would understand any of that."

Jamie winced. He deserved that.

"Zoe, I'm sorry."

"For what?" She said in a clipped tone, still not looking up.

"For calling ye a robot. I ken you have feelings and I'm sorry for hurting them. You just dinnae react the way I expected a lassie to react and then with you bein' so calm about it, I felt more ridiculous, as if I was being unreasonable for bein' upset … I dinnae ken if tha' makes sense …"

Zoe finally looked at him.

"What happened . . . I'm sorry I put you in that position." Zoe mentally chastised herself for the accidental double entendre, though she was sure it went over Jamie's head.

Jamie cleared his throat. It hadn't.

"You don't need to feel bad. It wasn't your fault. As I said, you're a normal, healthy young man, it was a natural thing to happen, logical even, given the circumstances. It could've happened with any woman—" A shadow flitted across Zoe's mind. She knew what she said was fact, yet she felt a sting of annoyance. What was that about? She pushed it aside, she'd analyze it later.

"I didn't show you my feelings because I wanted to spare yours. Logically, I thought the less emotional I was about it, the quicker you would be at ease and let it go. Of course, count on you to defy all logic."

"Oh … " Jamie considered the surface of the table as he took in what she just said. After a moment's ponder he turned back to the young woman with a thoughtful, slightly awestruck expression. "You're unlike any lass I've ever met, Zoe Heriot."

A soft smile with a hint of playfulness appeared on Zoe's lips. "I'll take that as a compliment." Zoe stretched out her hand. "Friends?"

Jamie gave her a sheepish smile in return and eagerly took her tiny hand in his. "Friends."

They held each other's gaze as they held hands. Jamie thought how pleasant her soft, wee hand felt in his. Zoe thought how often that warm hand took hers when there was danger, leading her to safety.

Zoe have herself a mental shake and tugged lightly at her hand. Jamie let go. "Now, let's agree to never speak of this again. As illogical as it may seem, we will pretend it never happened. Okay?"

"Aye, agreed!" Jamie said with an eager bob of his head.

"Ah, Jamie, Zoe, you're in here," the Doctor poked his head in. "Excellent! And just in time, we've landed."

Jamie rose from his seat with a mock long-suffering sigh. "Och, let's see wha' fresh Hell he's landed us in this time."

A giggle burst out of Zoe.

"Oh, don't encourage him, Zoe. I can control where the Tardis ends up."

"At least you can now that I've finished my calculations." Zoe held up her paper.

The Doctor looked sheepish as he took the proffered paper.

"Come on, you two," he grumbled.

Zoe and Jamie shared amused smiles and followed the Doctor out.

—-