Author's Note: I don't own any of the characters from Law and Order SVU or the plotlines they follow. All credit goes to the creators Dick Wolf and NBC. This is just a work of fiction inspired by the canon of SVU. This story may contain mentions of violence, drug use, abuse, mental health, and sexual content.
Olivia has had a whirlwind of a year. When Alex left for the Congo to prosecute crimes with the ICC they decided to keep in touch. Alex wanted to make sure Olivia knew she wasn't leaving her but she was leaving to help victims of sexual violence in the rape capital of the world. It was only a leave of absence, she wasn't going to be gone forever. It had been a little more than six months after Alex had left when Olivia was granted guardianship of Calvin, even though she only had him for less than a month that boy wormed his way into her heart. Olivia got a taste of motherhood and it left a dull ache in her heart for a life she could have. A life she stopped hoping for when she was denied three years prior for adoption. Alex and Olivia would facetime as much as possible given how busy they were working and the time difference between them.
When Elliott was put on leave in the middle of May for an IAB investigation and stopped answering her calls. Olivia threw herself further into her work. She missed him. He abandoned her. Her girlfriend was a world away and she felt alone. So when Alex showed up on her doorstep on a sunday morning it was the last thing Olivia expected. There was a knock on the door when Olivia hung up the phone with the captain. When she opens it she sees Alex standing there. Alex threw her a wide loving smile. Olivia mustered up a small smile back, she opened the door to let her in.
"Hey, I wasn't expecting you until later" Olivia said, embracing Alex in a long overdue hug.
Alex inhaled Olivia's scent hugging her back.
" I took an earlier flight to get back here a few hours sooner. I've missed you" Alex tells her smiling, pulling her towards the couch.
Olivia let herself be led and sat down while Alex said on her lap knees on either side of her. Olivia set her phone down on the arm of the couch and lightly put her hands on Alex's hips.
"Alex" Olivia sighed.
Alex knew that tone, something was going on with Olivia and whatever she was about to say wasn't going to be good. Alex tilted her head to the side in silent questioning waiting for Olivia to say something.
"I got a call from the captain. He wants me in on a case that just came through, with Elliott being out on leave we are a little stretched thin around there." Olivia told her with a sympathetic look.
Alex gave her a pouting look but understood and started to get up. Olivia pulled her back down on her lap and gave her a bruising kiss that Alex smiled into.
"I missed you too" Olivia said against her lips.
Once they broke the kiss Alex got up and offered her hand to her detective. Once Olivia got up she collected her badge and gun to set off to work.
Alex followed her out. Olivia went to work and Alex went back to her apartment to change and head into work herself knowing if Olivia got called in she would too.
That first month Alex was back was hard on both her and Olivia. They had a high priority case with a victim that even though her story was solid held back information that didn't help the case. It also didn't help the relationship between Alex and Olivia when they saw different views on the victim. After the grueling trail a month later it was finally over. Alex wished she could've gotten a conviction on the rape but at least he would be going to jail even if it was a lesser charge. Olivia was worked up and aggravated the entire case, Alex hoped now that it was over they could finally talk about them and where they stand. Alex picked up Olivia's favorite comfort food from the Chinese restaurant down the block from the precinct. Alex knew Olivia would still be there to finish up some paperwork.
When she walked into the squad room with food in hand she noticed Olivia's desk was empty and looked around the room. Munch and Fin shot her a sympathetic look. Alex set the food down on the desk and turned to look at them.
"Where's liv?" Alex asked.
"Takin' a minute, you know" Fin said shrugging even though they both know it's a bigger deal than what he's playing it off as.
Alex nodded and sat on her desk to wait.
Olivia came down the hall a few minutes later, eyes red and puffy but no one called her out on it.
"Hey" Alex greeted throwing her a soft smile.
"Hey. What are you doing here counselor?" Olivia questioned back.
Alex didn't let the disappointment show on her face. Alex picked up the previous bag of food she sat on Olivia's desk and handed it to her. Olivia recognized the restaurant and half chuckled at it, even though the laugh didn't reach her eyes.
"I take it this is for me?" Olivia asked
"Well for us, celebrating the case is finally over" Alex responded back.
Olivia looked up from Alex's face to her co-workers that were watching them.
"Fin and I have a case we need to get to and I'm not all that hungry" Olivia tells her, setting the food back down on her desk.
"I'll wait for you" Alex says, understanding she needed to get back to work.
Olivia nodded, taking a step back and heading towards the door. Fin came over to her and grabbed an egg roll out the bag and put a hand on her shoulder then left to catch up with Olivia.
Once they were out the door Alex sighed and sat down in Olivia's chair to pull her food out the bag.
"Did you bring any for the rest of us?" John sassed to her trying to lighten the mood.
Alex rolled her eyes and pulled out two orders of chicken with noodles and handed them over.
"Ah just how I like it" John said, digging into his food while Amanda carefully started eating hers.
An hour after Fin and Olivia left the food was eaten. Amanda left after finishing a few forms and Cragen was about to head out for the night.
"Alex, just give her sometime, I just told her Elliott isn't coming back" Cragen says after Amanda leaves and it's just her and Munch in the squad.
Alex nods, understanding how hard this must be for Olivia.
"Do you mind if I wait for them to come back?" Alex askes.
"Go ahead and stay, I'll see you counselor" Cragen says waving to them and leaving.
Another hour had passed and Munch came to give her a cup of coffee.
"I'm going to head out, she'll get through this" Munch offers in support.
"I know" Alex tells him.
Once he leaves it's just Alex and a bunch of nighttime uniform officers. Alex doesn't know how much time has passed when she falls asleep at Olivia's desk.
Olivia and Fin walk into the squad room around midnight. They talked to the victim and went to the hospital to collect the evidence. They called it a night and headed back to the precinct. When they walked in they noticed Alex sleeping at Olivia's desk. Olivia half smiled at the sight.
"She loves you, you know" Fin tells her.
Olivia's head snapped to him.
"What, you aren't very subtle. Munch, Cragen and I had a bet to see how long it would take for you guys to get together" Fin shrugs, grabbing his stuff.
Olivia ignores that comment and gently shakes Alex awake. Alex's glasses were askew and she looked very adorable. Olivia bit her lip to hold in her laugh.
"Alex" Olivia whispered.
Alex opened her eyes to be met with Olivia's face a few inches from hers.
"Hey" Alex greets sitting up and stretching.
"That can't be comfortable, come on let's get you home" Olivia says holding her hand out for her to grab.
Alex took the extended hand and stood up, she tangled their hands together for a moment before dropping it.
"Will you stay?" Alex questioned a little vulnerable knowing Olivia was still raw.
"Yea, I'll stay" Olivia replied back gently.
They walked out of the squad and grabbed a cab to Alex's apartment.
Alex woke up first with her alarm blaring next to her. She turned it off and sat up, yawning. Olivia just snuggled further into the covers. Alex watched her sleep for a few minutes then got up to shower and start her day. Olivia padded out to the kitchen to find Alex brewing coffee and making eggs and toast. Olivia walked up behind Alex and wrapped her arms around her burying her head into Alex's neck.
"Liv" Alex leaned back into Olivia's touch.
"I'm sorry for being an ass lately," Olivia whispered to her.
"You're going through a lot, you don't have to minimize how you're feeling for me" Alex spoke softly
"Still, I'm sorry, you don't deserve this. We haven't even talked about how your year was in the congo" Olivia says.
"Horrific, but I do believe that I made a difference" Alex tells her
"I'm absolutely sure you did" Liv says, smiling.
Alex can feel it on her neck, turning around she puts her arms loosely on Olivia's neck. Olivia slightly squeezed Alex's hips.
"Thank you" Alex says.
Olivia leaned in and kissed her gently.Alex kissed her back, keeping it soft that slowly started to heat up.
The next time they see each other Olivia and her new partner are asking her about a wiretap. Although Alex doesn't give in to their request she does figure out a way to help them. Alex does tell Olivia she's sorry about Elliott and Olivia accepts it. She knows that Elliotts sudden disappearance has pained Oliva. If anyone knows how hard it is to leave Oliva, it's Alex. Alex knows with Elliott being gone and this case dealing with kids Olivia's feeling on edge. When Olivia and Nick left her office, Alex decided to do something sweet for Olivia. Alex wants to make sure Olivia knows she's in this for the long haul even if that's too soon to think about since a lot of their official relationship has been long distance with Alex being away for a little over a year. Alex started making her plans for once this case started to settle down.
In a few days the case was pretty much wrapped up. The witness testified in the grand jury and made a public statement and the coach was arrested. Alex walked into the squad room while the detectives were watching the rest of his press statement. Fin noticed her first and nodded her way to tell her to come closer.
"Hey, Cabot wanna go get drinks with us tonight?" Fin asked.
Alex side eyed Olivia to see her reaction but she was still focused on the screen.
Alex paused for a second then said
"You know what, yea why not?"
"That's my girl" Fin says light hearted
Fin got up from his seat reading himself to go while everyone was getting ready too. When he was done he saw Alex sitting on Olivia's desk waiting for her to finish up.
"Hey liv, you ready?" He asked.
Olivia looked up and closed the file she just finished signing and nodded.
"Yep, let's go" Olivia said.
Munch, Fin, Olivia and Alex got there first and got seated. Fin bought a pitcher of beer for the table. Once they finished their first drinks Munch bought them a second round. By that time Nick and Amanda made it to the table and poured themselves a drink. Alex knows she's stopping after two drinks to give herself time to be able to drive her and Olivia home. The longer the night goes on the more friendly Olivia's touches become. Alex loves the affection from her girlfriend but makes it a little hard to keep their relationship under wraps when they work with detectives. Alex knew the veterans of the squad knew or at least assumed they were together but until Olivia was ready to declare it they were keeping it a secret. finally calls it a night when everyone was well beyond buzzed.
"Well this has been great guys, I've really missed it. Does anyone need a ride?" Alex casually asks hopeful Olivia takes the hint and she does but so does Fin.
Alex drives him home first then asks Olivia where she wants to go, her place or Alex's. Olivia chooses her place since it's a lot closer to Fin's then Alex's. Alex helped a staggering Olivia into her apartment and helped her on the bed. Alex went to get water and aspirin, coming into the room she sees the bathroom door open and Olivia leaning over the toilet. Alex sighed and set the glass of water and aspirin down on the nightstand. She tapped on the door letting liv know she's there, she opens the cabinet and takes a washcloth out to dampen it with cool water bloching Olivia's forehead. Alex looked into Olivia's glassy eyes and saw the pain from losing Elliott,Calvin, the pain for the victims she sees everyday.
"Why does everyone leave me?" Olivia slurred.
Alex knew it was a rhetorical question and just stayed silent. Olivia doesn't really open up as much as Alex would like but when she does it's like this floodgate of everything she has pent up.
"Elliott isn't coming back, he's even disconnected his phone number. Twelve years of friendship of partnership he's seen me through breakups,funerals, when I thought you bleed out in front me of and I was going to turn my badge in because if I couldn't keep the woman I loved safe then what good was I to the citizens of New York, HE was the one to talk me out of it. When I wanted to crash your stupid engagement party HE was the one that said if we were meant to be we would make it back to each other, when I looked into adoption and wasn't qualified HE said he would support me with whatever way I decided to start a family. HE was there every time you left." Olivia sobbed out.
Alex just held her sobbing girlfriend, when she quieted down Alex tried getting her attention.
"Liv- Olivia- Babe"
Olivia lifted up her head and looked into Alex's piercing blue eyes.
"I'm here for you and I'm never leaving again. I promise you that." Alex tried to convey her seriousness but her effort fell flat when Olivia turned around and started throwing up again.
Alex got up and layed out pajamas for Olivia to change into, when she was done she changed into a pair of old sweats and a T-shirt of liv's. When Olivia finally got done in the bathroom Alex had her rinse her mouth out with mouthwash knowing how much Olivia would hate this in the morning if she didn't. Olivia changed and layed down cuddling up with Alex, I want a baby with you she said with a goofy smile and gave her a sloppy kiss on her cheek then fell asleep. Alex laid there for what felt like hours cuddled up with a drunk asleep Olivia running over everything that she heard tonight. The big piece of information was Olivia wanting kids with her, she knew Olivia always wanted kids but now she wanted them with her. Alex knew it was definitely going to be something she brought up when they were both sober then she went to sleep.