Gotham City Royal Hotel was too fancy for Bane, tacky may have been a stronger word. The colors were wildly vivid, too many unnecessary rooms with little in terms of decency, and it certainly felt overhyped in appearance overall. The Joker, or his current step in alias of Black Mask, had booked the hotel...more like took it over but kept up the façade of manners for a good portion of time nearly two weeks in advance and invited them to stay if they had nowhere to go for the upcoming Christmas Eve hunt for the Batman. Why a giant hotel instead of an underground base or a hidden warehouse was beyond their assumptions.
Bane sat in a large chair capable of supporting his weight and leaned back with his feet on the desk as Joker played around with his gadgets and bombs preparing for Christmas Eve only a few days away. The master suite was comfy but it lacked visual appeal in Bane's opinion. Too much red and a lack of actually useful items other than luxury soaps and a mini bar which Bird was enjoying. It was basically a giant bedroom several rooms large, not an ideal space. On the other hand, he couldn't complain too much. It was better than living in a prison. Though he was taking orders from a madman as equally as tacky as the hotel.
Unlike most of the other assassins Joker hired, only Bane, Killer Croc, and Copperhead knew the truth other than Roman Sionis and his former gang so far. The fact that he had to pretend to go along with Joker's ruse in order to get a good shot at the Batman was somewhat unfavorable but it made access to Gotham City and a way to transport his mercenaries a lot easier.
"Jingle bells, Batman smells! Ha ha ha!" The man called Joker laughed in a childish glee.
Bane merely raised a brow and shook his head. The guy really was insane as it was rumored. The assassins he hired were ever as questionable as he was.
Lady Shiva was nothing but a delusional follower of Ra's al Ghul who Bane respected but his views were a bit excessive, Copperhead was a contortionist with a nasty neurotoxin set of claws who dwelled on sexual pleasure from her kills, Deadshot was excellent but got a thrill from the thought of suicide among failure, Firefly was an psycho arsonist who found an odd pleasure from burning pain, Deathstroke was one of the few he could tolerate due to his reasonability and fair play, Electrocutioner was a delusional street thug who wanted to be a bad ass, and then there was the odd case of Killer Croc who was a man beaten and thrown away by society over a born skin mutation which caused him to relapse into nothing short of an animal.
Bane was hardly impressed by any of them really. If anything, they were more of distractions for the Bat. He would be the ultimate test and he had plans for the fall of the clown after Christmas too. The world didn't need another psychopath.
"Payaso, what guarantee do you have that this bounty will not backfire on you?" Bane hissed, crossing his arms as he leaned back deeper into his chair.
The clown quickly turned on his heel and strode up to the desk, playfully sitting in a weird pose on the expensive wood. "Why my dear Bane, you can trust the likes of me, can't you?"
No, he really couldn't.
"No matter the results of this Christmas, I guarantee you this: we will begin something even the Batman, if he survives, will never be able to stop. I have a feeling you and I are going to be household names by the end of the night. Isn't that the best gift you could ever ask for?!" Joker hummed.
Bane glanced down a brief second before meeting the Joker's horrid green eyes with a scowl, "The best gift I could possibly have is Batman's spirit and body destroyed."
Joker pursed his lips with an unreadable expression, "Kind of a killjoy ending but whatever floats your boat, nacho libre, assuming you don't sink it before Christmas morning."
Annoyance was growing in Bane and he swung his legs down off the desk. Joker didn't move from his position as he leaned forward, almost meeting the clown eye to eye despite still being seated. Joker still held an intolerable grin and Bane debated whether or not to punch it off the abnormally bleach white face.
"Listen and listen close, payaso, my vengeance on the Bat is personal. You have no concept of what I need to do to find peace, what I will do to the Bat before he dies. I do not do chistes lastimosos...I do not joke like you. The Bat will be broken and die painfully before the night ends. Nobody will be laughing."
Joker's smile didn't falter which didn't surprise Bane but what did happen unexpectedly was the Joker slipping onto his lap. The clown crossed his legs over his left thigh casually and leaned against his right shoulder. The mercenary was taken back and wanted to shove the psycho off but he kept his composure as Joker spoke, mockingly checking out his dark purple gloves like a person checking their nails.
"You see, Bane baby, I find that mildly offensive. After all what is a good time in killing people if you can't wake up the next day to laugh about it? You only have one life, why not dance through it with a smile and destroy some lives along the way? My question above all to you is: why do you hate the Batman so much?"
Bane's jaw clenched. "You don't need to know what my vendetta with the Bat is. It is none of your business, tonto."
"Really?" Joker taunted. He abruptly repositioned himself on Bane's lap to straddle the mercenary before he quickly cocked a gun just under the masked chin. Joker's own former Black Mask thugs tensed but knew their current boss wouldn't take kindly to interruptions. They left the room but Bane just kept glaring at the madman unfazed.
"Since I hired you, I think it does become my business."
He had his doubts this madman was foolish enough to point a gun at him like other stupid men before, but this was no man. Staring into the green irises, it was quite obvious he was dealing with a monster. Joker would pull the trigger even at risk of it doing nothing or at least not killing him. Those were the eyes of someone who could stare death in the face and just laugh.
Bane indulged him after almost a minute of silence. "I've had nightmares since I was young of a bat. He was in every single one of those dreams like a demon and it is my duty to destroy him, to bring peace to my mind. A prophecy if you will. That is all I can tell you. Satisfied?"
Joker actually looked at him with a confused expression and Bane almost took the chance to catch his wrist holding the gun and snap it. But of course, the clown laughed like a hyena, the gun lowered and waved around madly.
"You're just as crazy as me! A prophecy?! Hahahahaha! But if it makes you feel any better, I understand you."
"I am not loco like you-"
"Oh, but you are! You just can't see it because we're on opposite sides of the personality spectrum," Joker smirked, throwing the gun away. "I am just like you because I too have had visions."
"Qué?" Bane narrowed his eyes in confusion.
"I was once a man with but a dream of making the world laugh and something deep down was eating me alive, a monstrous bat. I got caught up in some unfortunate dealings and this demon appeared roaring at me and it was all I remember when I fell and crawled out of a vat of chemicals. Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw this monster in the reflection and I could never tell if it was me or the Batman staring back. I want the Bat dead so I can see myself as I truly am and not have to see whatever reflects back in the mirror like a dreadful darkness. It's why I laugh through life now. I've never been clearer in purpose or in meaning. I'm still here and I'm smiling. The Batman killed me but he also created me. And now, I'm going to return the favor."
Both of them peered at one another in silence. Bane began thinking of what he had just heard and it was hard to tell if the clown was lying to just get sympathy or he genuinely had a run in with the Bat that led to whatever he was now. If there were similarities between the two of them, it wasn't very obvious other than one mutual source of both their problems: The Bat.
Joker chuckled darkly, "You and I are two kids on a roller coaster to Hell, baby, and I wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, I win not just by having the power to defeat both our problems but I've also got one hell of a bodyguard to boot. Remind me to hire you after Christmas, I need some muscle for a New Year's party Gotham will never forget."
It wasn't lost on him that Joker was still in his lap comfortable with his legs barely over the width of his own, swinging like a little kid on a tall space. And Joker was aware of it too. The fact that he had yet to push off the clown kind of made him uncertain of how tame he was being towards his employer when if someone else had tried this, they would have already been dead by now.
The Joker examined him a little before slowly reaching towards his mask. Bane clenched his fist ready to grab the wandering hand if he dared to lift his mask but instead, he felt it trace his lower jaw up to his cheek as if to confirm Bane was even human. The clown wasn't smiling as big out of real curiosity. The larger male was kind of lost on what to do about such a twisted creature.
"Wow, they weren't kidding when they said you are defined everywhere. You could kill somebody with a single headbutt and I would love to see that! How many people have you killed with your bare hands, Baney? Better yet, how many people have you killed altogether? My total is 310 I think. I don't keep track really but I know my record was roughly 150 in one day, according to poor Roman and his now-leveled shipping dock with all his illegal goods and many thugs sunk at the bottom of the bay currently."
Bane didn't smile at that but it did acquire his interest how such a scrawny man could kill over a hundred people in a day, assuming it also wasn't a lie. Given the Joker's insanity, he wouldn't underestimate him in that matter.
The mercenary gave the clown a small once-over and Joker noticed quickly. "Like what you see, big boy?"
That threw Bane off guard and he was unsure how he could possibly respond to that when suddenly, Joker did something unexpected. The lips of the clown teasingly brushed against his own and he tried to lean back but the smaller man was faster, grabbing his face and forcing them together. He didn't kiss back but his hands did creep up from being stunned to grabbing the thin waist. As soon as Joker's grip on his jaw lightened slightly, he threw the psycho off and stood up with a frown.
Joker merely laughed as he hit the table almost flying over it. "Well, I expected that response about forty seconds ago. Is there something you're not telling me, Bane? Am I that sexy?"
Bane was less than amused and wiped his sleeve over his lips. He then growled, "Payaso, you will lose your voice if you try that again."
"Not the threat I was anticipating but then again, I'm not against being on my knees for long periods of time either," the clown purred.
The larger man stomped out of the room as the Joker cackled, cheeks slightly burning. Bane shook his head and scowled at the audacity that madman had. A few times he touched his lips, still feeling the tingling sensation of the kiss. It was another unexpected turn from the clown, another surprise Bane didn't like because it implied he was vulnerable to the ungodly creature that was the Joker. If Joker can throw him off guard, he was being too docile and that was unacceptable.
He didn't want anything to do with such a crude man, especially not like that. There were still a few days to go before the big night and Bane knew there were also still plenty of tricks the clown could pull in said days. He anticipated for the moment when he could blow up the abominable man and be done with him.
Bane reached an empty bedroom in the suite and after making sure it was locked, he plopped down on the bed, its frame creaking from his weight. He rubbed the side of his mask with a grumble and lied on top of the covers to stare at the tacky ceiling design. This was going to be a long job.
AN: If you think this is fucked up...you ain't seen nothing yet.