It's Complicated - 01
By: I Should Be Sleeping (AKA: Moar Sleep)
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Two years.
Two years and she was still so tired.
No matter how many hours of sleep she was able to accumulate, her body felt worn and her mind weary.
It was an endless cycle of getting through the day and masking her emotions so that others wouldn't question her. Although, if she were being honest with herself, there were not too many people checking up on her regularly.
She did not blame them.
Everyone was dealing with the aftermath of the war.
Harry was busy navigating his life and finding how to live for himself. For the first time, he did not have the weight of the entire Wizarding World on his shoulders and he did not know who he was. In Hogwarts, he had still been regarded with a sense of awe and now that he had conquered, it had elevated him to almost Godlike status. Yet, Harry was Harry and he loathed the limelight. All he wanted was quiet retreat, so he now traveled the world studying culinary techniques. Who knew that all those years spent cooking for his relatives would actually become a source of comfort?
And he excelled.
Merlin did he excel!
His last postcard was from a small Japanese prefecture in Japan where he was learning how to make wheat noodles from a renowned expert in the muggle world. Hermione was incredibly proud of him.
Ron.
Ron was a different sort.
After spending time middling in the Auror program he found himself somewhat bored with all of the actual paperwork and routine. Ron had never thrived when rigid rules were applied, so he had helped his brother George for a bit in his joke shop before finally finding his passion.
Being a housewizard.
Ronald Weasley was not quite on the same level as Harry Potter, but he was definitely a better baker and made the most amazing scones. He had settled down with Luna Lovegood and while she helped her father run the Quibbler, Ron was content with taking care of his twin daughters and newborn son.
Unlike his sister Ginny, who had decided to become a Professional Quidditch player, Ron was the one that took Molly's handwritten cookbooks to heart and continued on her tradition of knitting jumpers and socks. Hermione adored them and she looked forward to adding to her growing collection of fuzzy warmth.
Never let it be said that raising a family was predictable because with three young children and another on the way, Ron was thriving in the absolute chaos that was his household.
She supposed that they, like her, found solace in work that did not deal with dangerous criminals and death-defying stunts. They had lived their entire Hogwarts career barely surviving that the infamous Golden Trio craved quiet and peace.
Unfortunately, unlike the male members of their trio, Hermione still found herself in a sort of limbo. She worked in the Ministry and assisted Kingsley with reform. However, once she realized the amount of bureaucratic tape needed to actually instill change in the ever backwards nation of Wizarding Britain, she was losing hope. Nevertheless, Hermione was still very much Hermione and had far too much tenacity and stubbornness to quit not matter the statistics. She began to spend longer hours and her rather slow physical recovery to regain her previous weight before the war was sabotaged.
Working late nights were the norm and she found herself surviving on a mix of Invigorating potions, Monster Energy drinks and a religious regime of Glamour spells. It was exhausting, but also therapeutic in a way. With her mind so focused on multiple projects, it distracted her enough from the inevitable night terrors and panic attacks.
Despite her nurturing nature, Hermione Granger was pants at taking care of herself.
Her friends, bless them, hardly noticed her working herself ragged. In school, Harry and Ron had gotten rather adept at maneuvering their neurotic friend and ensuring that she not bury herself in work. They made sure she remembered to eat and were very good at seeing she slept. Without them, she somewhat spiraled and found herself floundering without their constant support.
She did not blame them for her current state. Absolutely not. They were all adults and living their lives and it was not their place to take care of her. However, she did hold a bit of bitter resentment towards them for finding their place so easily when the "brightest witch of the age" was still stuck.
It made her feel like a complete and utter failure and if there was something Hermione loathed more than Delores Umbridge, it was failure. It left a bitter taste in her mouth and made her question her self-worth.
An incessant purring brought her out of her rather dismal thoughts as she looked to a lazily lounging Crookshanks, who had decided that her lap was the best place for a quick nap.
"Oh my handsome boy. What am I even doing anymore?"
Crookshanks stared at her, his deep eyes knowing and somewhat admonishing her for her lack of self-care. Sitting rather pompously upon her lap, he nuzzled her chest in an attempt to comfort his ever stressed human.
Hermione snorted.
This.
This was the only male in her life.
Despite the never-ending offers of numerous dates and marriage proposals, Hermione knew they were all superfluous. A quarter of them could not even pronounce her name properly. They wanted Hermione Granger, Order of Merlin First Class, Member of the Golden Trio and defeater of Dark Wizards. They had no clue about Hermione Jean Granger, sufferer of night terrors, riddled with panic attacks and survivor of countless torture and strife. If they knew that she woke up drenched in sweat and screaming out at invisible attackers, she doubted they would be so keen to offer her a date, let alone a marriage proposal.
Crookshanks comforting purr allowed her to dismiss those depressing thoughts. "You are the only constant male in my life Crooks and you are all I need."
Even as she said it, she knew it was absolutely pathetic, but she had gotten very good a denial.
Crookshanks seemed more than accepting of the arrangement, but he had always been a possessive thing. He barely tolerated Harry and loathed Ron. Ever the constant guardian, there was not one male in her life that he approved of other than her father.
Her father.
Harvard Henry Granger was still very much oblivious to his daughter along with his wife Helen Céline Granger. Hermione would have loved to restore their memories, but spells dealing with the mind was an incredibly tricky thing. She still held hope that one day she would be able to embrace them as their daughter, but until then she was spending what little free time she had researching and consulting the foremost members of Mind Magics that money could offer.
Crookshanks made a grumpy sound, large intelligent eyes demanding her attention as she had ceased stroking his back.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes my demanding boy."
Lifting the hefty creature into her arms, she grunted a bit. He really did need to go on a diet. Her lovely boy was getting lazy in his old age and she knew she spoiled him a bit too much. "Come along then. To bed. I am exhausted."
Crookshanks, pleased with the decision, purred loudly in agreement. His head butted against her chin as he snuggled into her in absolute adoration.
Smiling at him, Hermione pressed a kiss to his head. "Love you too Crooks."
"Excuse me?"
Kinglsey Shacklebolt, acting Minster of Magic to Wizarding Britain, sighed as he observed the young witch before him.
"Hermione. Please. You need this."
Hermione balked. "I know what I need and this is not it Kingsley Absko Shacklebolt!"
Kingsley winced at the use of his full given name. Hermione was always very respectful and the first one to reprimand someone for not addressing another by their proper title during work hours. For her to pull a full name meant that she was angry. If she added in the middle name, that was his cue to put up a very strong shielding charm and pray.
"Hermione, we worry."
Whirling on her heels, she found not only Harry, but Ron as well!
"Calling in the calvary now are we?" Dark honeyed eyes flashed with ire as she turned the full force of her glare on the nervous Minister of Magic. That was playing dirty! Harry was supposed to be in Japan somewhere and Ron had his hands full with his family!
"Mione. It's not permanent. It's just for a bit yea?"
"Ronald!" Hermione hissed.
Ron automatically braced himself as his muscles stiffened on reflex. Years of conditioning had him straightening his posture upon hearing Hermione call him 'Ronald.'
"Miss Granger. Stop your blustering and act like the mature witch I know you are!"
At this, it was Hermione's turn to straighten up as the strict Scottish brogue cut through the room and had everyone standing at attention.
There were few people that could command an entire generation, and Minverva McGonagall was one such witch that could strike terror in several. The now Headmistress of Hogwarts leveled her hunter green eyes on her favorite charge and sighed softly. She knew how hard it was for Hermione to relinquish control and allow others to step in and care, but she really was running herself ragged and shame unto them because they had only now noticed.
"Miss Granger," she began gently. "Hermione. We all love you and we worry. You are physically, mentally and magically exhausted. Kingsley told me the other day that you cast a simple Levitation charm and it ended up setting a few spare pieces of parchment on fire. You need time off."
At this, all of the righteous indignation seemed to deflate from her body as she almost crumpled in on herself. Harry and Ron were immediately there, offering her their support as they always have.
The tears she had been holding back seemed to break as she sobbed desperately in the comforting embrace of her best friends. "I am so tired."
Harry let out a shaky breath and shushed her softly. "We know Mione. We know."
Ron, being Ron, was ever so eloquent when it came to comforting his crying female friend. "It's ok Mione. We can still write and we will do that Time Face you told me about."
Through her tears, Hermione laughed. "Face Time Ron and yes. I would love that."
AN: Hermione is a nervous wreck and she has been keeping it to herself and ignoring all of her problems rather than dealing with them. Incredibly toxic and it has been taking a toll on her physically, mentally and emotionally.
Harry and Ron will always support Hermione in this fic. I think that given all they have been through together, they will always remain friends no matter where life takes them.
In the next chapter, we will see Hermione accepting help and the suggestions from her circle of friends on where/how to achieve it. But do not worry! She will not be going all the way across the pond alone! This is where the crossover will come in!
I am very excited to see how you all respond to this one! Paul will not be here for a few chapters so please be patient. Thank you and let me know what you think!
Me