You Can Never Trust Paperwork

by Perpetual Fangirl

RH, Dreomione, Remione, Sirimione. Cross-Posted from Ao3. Low Angst, Smut filled. Hermione gets tangled up in a Marriage Law. But it's not what anyone expected.

1. Part 1

Tuesday, December 9th, 2003

Hermione Granger stared at the loopy script adorning the parchment. This tiny, concise, and frankly useless letter was going to derail her entire life.

As a Muggleborn, everything she did, whether it be work or education was just a little bit harder than it was for her half-blood and pureblood colleagues. She was at a disadvantage, not because she wasn't intelligent, she had been called the brightest witch of her age on numerous occasions. And not because she wasn't a hard worker, she had woken up time and time again with her head buried in her arms still at her desk at the Ministry way past closing. No, it was because Muggleborns were still believed to be of lesser magical ability.

It was rubbish, really. However, between that and being a female in the male dominated world of politics, she had to fight for everything she had.

Her job at The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures was something she fought tooth and nail for. When she started right after her NEWTs were completed, they wouldn't give her anything more difficult than an escaped Niffler to file paperwork on. But she had worked her way up to at least being able to help sentient Magical Beings such as House Elves.

She read the letter in her hand for what must've been the dozenth time

Dear Hermione J Granger,

Thank you for your participation in the Wizarding Marriage Initiative. We are happy to inform you that your match has been selected.

Please present yourself at the WMI office tomorrow, December 10th at 2:30 pm precisely to begin the first steps.

Thank you and may your marriage be long and fruitful.

Sincerely,

Joanna Toadsworth,

Secretary to Lorraine Fiddleton

Wizarding Marriage Initiative Office

The worst thing about this is that it proved that Hermione had lost.

She fought day and night trying to get the stupid Marriage Initiative canceled. It was terrible. It was disgusting and it went against every human right possible. But the Wizarding World, unlike the Muggle World, was still unbelievably archaic. If something like this happened in the Muggle World you would have riots and protests, news articles and broadcasts debating the ethics of such a law.

Not the Wizarding World. The Wizarding World had articles advertising wedding decorations and people gossiping excitedly over who would match with who.

It was awful.

Whatever compatibility test they threw together was not scientific or even magical in the slightest. A few questions regarding the individual: age, sex, blood status, education level, Hogwarts House (if attended), career and then a few about pointless things such as tea choice. It was foolish.

Hermione was running out of words to describe how stupid she thought this whole thing was. Her friends wouldn't even bring up the Initiative in her presence.

Harry and Ginny had married as soon as the Initiative was announced three months previously. Ron asked her multiple times to marry him until she ran out of excuses and simply just told him no and refused to speak to him for a week.

Ron and her… well, they'd just never work out. If not for his appalling table manners or incessant talk of Quidditch, then for the fact that she needed someone who she could converse with. Someone who shared interest in books and knowledge and the bettering of the world around them. Ron just… didn't. He stopped growing 16 and just stayed the same.

Bill was already married; Charlie was living in Romania and Fred and George were soon to be marrying their Hogwarts Sweethearts. That part at least was lovely to see. The same with Harry and Ginny.

But those who weren't already with someone, those who didn't currently want to be with anyone were completely out of luck.

Heaving a great sigh, Hermione buried her head in her arms. She stayed that way until some twenty minutes later there was light knock at the door and she half-heartedly yelled 'Come in.'

"Mione?" Harry asked, as he opened the door. "What's wrong?"

She sighed again and handed him the letter, refusing still to lift her head. Her brown curls blocked all the light, and she was enjoying the moment of darkness. Harry would say something nice or encouraging and she could continue with her day and ignore what was happening.

"That sucks, Granger. I wonder what poor sod is going to be stuck with you for life." The smooth, drawling voice that spoke was absolutely not Harry.

Hermione lifted her head to see her blond ex-nemesis reading the letter over Harry's shoulder.

Draco Malfoy.

The blonde ferret, the evil little cockroach and, unfortunately, one of the most attractive bloody men in the whole damn ministry. His iconic white-blonde hair was no longer slicked back, but loose and soft looking as it fell across his forehead. His face that had been previously stuck in a perpetual sneer was almost kind, his cheekbones were high and sculpted, his jaw jawline sharp. The pointy faced bully was now a beautiful man. He'd filled out, his shoulders broader and he was taller. The work of an auror did very kind things to the body. But her favorite part was those smoky gray eyes. Though he could hide his emotions and thoughts from his face when he wanted to, his eyes were expressive.

Hermione never thought this would be how she described Draco Malfoy. Didn't think she would moon over the pureblood that she was sure was ready to announce an engagement to an equally pure blooded and beautiful woman.

That itself annoyed her and she was sure he would gloat about it shortly.

To be fair, he wasn't that bad. His words, though seeming mean, were said in jest. Even then, a small smile graced his soft looking lips as she glared daggers at him.

"No one asked for your opinion, Malfoy." She growled, moving her gaze to Harry who was trying not to laugh. "Why did you bring him?"

Harry shrugged, "He just followed me, I don't know what happened."

Draco chuckled lightly and threw a folder he was holding down in front of Hermione. "Actually, Granger, I come bearing paperwork on the latest release of House Elves from an old Pureblood estate. They want you to check in on the Elves as soon as you can to make sure they're alright. They were there when we raided the place yesterday."

Harry and Draco worked in the Auror office. They tracked down wizards with ties to death eaters and often conducted raids on the estates to confiscate any dark artifacts that were not yet in the possession of the Department of Mysteries.

Hermione disliked the amount of paperwork she was going to end up stuck with, but she was happy she was going to be able to help those Elves. Well, once she convinced them she was in fact trying to help them. Once the initial freak out happened, they usually calmed enough to get placed into other homes as free Elves with pay and other benefits they did not previously have.

Dobby and Winky were a huge help to Hermione. They frequently tagged along to explain to the poor beings that they weren't being punished.

"Thanks, Malfoy. What would I do without you dropping piles of paperwork on my desk."? Hermione said sarcastically.

"You know you love it, swot. Now get to work." He winked and turned on the heel of his perfectly polished shoes and left her office.

Hermione eyes glued to his retreating back, following the lines of the perfectly cut suit and dress pants tailored to his…

"Earth to Hermione."

She quickly turned to look at Harry and rolled her eyes as he shot her a look.

"Gin wants to know if you want to come for dinner?" He asked, trying to reign in his grin.

Hermione sighed. "I'd love to but thanks to Malfoy, I have a ton of work to do." She gestured with the folder she picked up. "And then I have to deal with that letter tomorrow and I'm just not going to be very good company."

"Come on Mione, Sirius and Remus are going to be there. You haven't seen them in forever."

"I'd love to see them, but I really just can't."

Hermione reached for an elastic that she kept in the drawer of her desk and pulled her hair messily on top of her head in some horrible semblance of a bun. It was time to get to work if she was going to be out of here by midnight.

She had an empty flat to go home to. Well, mostly empty if the half-kneazle she was technically the caretaker of deigned to grace her with his presence.

Harry nodded, knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere with her. "Fine. But next time, promise?"

"I promise." Hermione said, though she knew it most likely wasn't true.

"I'll hold you to that." Her best friend said with a grin. "Now don't work too hard. Go home and get some sleep. You meet your husband tomorrow; don't you need to get dolled up?"

Hermione scrunched up a piece of parchment and threw it at the dark-haired man. "Enough. Get out of my office."

"Goodnight Mione."

"Night Harry."

When the door shut, leaving her alone, she picked up the letter again and dropped her head to her desk. Maybe if she just ignored it, it would go away?

She lived in a magical world. Anything could happen.

Wednesday December 10th, 2003

The next morning, Hermione woke up and was greeted by a ball of orange fur. Crookshanks had decided to make an appearance for the first time in a few days. She took the opportunity to spend a little time with the half-kneazle, petting the top of his head and under his chin until he started making muffins into her bedding and purring.

"I missed you too, old man. Come around more often and we can spend time together." She told him, stroking his soft fur.

Crooks meowed in apology and nuzzled his face into her. She didn't know where he went when he was gone but he always came back smelling vaguely of leather and dog. It was the strangest thing. Hermione suspected he made a friend.

She spent as long as she could cuddling her familiar before she finally got up to get ready to go. It was nearly 10:30 a.m. and, though she didn't need to go into work today, a benefit of the 'match day' as they called it, she still wanted to go and finish up some work she didn't get done the night before.

She took a shower, enjoying the way the hot water released the tension in her muscles. Her one-bedroom flat may be small, but she couldn't dispute that the water pressure was wonderful.

She took her time, washing with her vanilla and peach body wash and washing her hair with some additional vanilla scented shampoo. She enjoyed the sweetness of the muggle products. Wizard soaps worked just as well but they never smelled quite as good.

Hermione turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. A quick drying charm dried her hair and body and a curl taming charm she learned from Witch Weekly helped tame her wild curls to soft ringlets. Looking in the mirror, she noticed the purple bags under her brown eyes and wished she had paid attention to the makeup charms Ginny had wanted to teach her. Just enough to cover up the near bruise like half circles.

With her primping about as complete as she had the patience for, Hermione made her way back into her room to dig through her closet. Most of her clothes were office comfortable: Skirts, blouses and robes that were perfect for a professional environment, but seemed over the top for going to a meeting she was dreading. She was almost tempted to dress in muggle jeans and an old Gryffindor Quidditch jersey she stole from Harry. Only the fact that her soon-to-be husband was just as much of a victim as she was stopped her.

It wasn't his fault he was paired with her. She refused to take her anger out on a man who also had no say. Who knows, maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

She laughed to herself and rubbed her hands over her eyes. It was going to be horrible no matter what way she looked at it. What she wouldn't give for this to be pushed a little farther away, she just wanted more time. She didn't want to get married yet. She had a few more steps to go on her career path before she even thought of settling down to Marry and have babies. Not to mention she wanted to meet someone. She wanted to fall in love and have the type of intimacy her parents shared.

Growing up, Hermione always remembered seeing her parents being affectionate towards each other. Pecks on the cheek when they left a room, cuddles on the couch during lazy afternoons home and never being shy with their 'I love you's'. It was what Hermione grew up wanting for herself.

At this point, the best she could hope for was maybe building a friendship and not hating her significant other. Or maybe at least having some sexual chemistry? Her eyes widened in horror. She never even put much thought into having to sleep with a stranger.

Hermione wasn't a virgin. She had taken that step with Ron after the war when everything was calm for the first time in what felt like ever. But she really didn't see why people were so obsessed with sex. Academically she knew that between the pleasure and the rush of hormones, it nearly drugged your body. But that was just theory, she had never experienced it herself. Like her relationship with Ron, their sex life was lackluster and, often, one sided.

Plucking a black pencil skirt and a soft cream blouse out of her closet, Hermione slipped it on over a simple black cotton bra and panty set. She put on her only pair of black heels, courtesy of Ginny, and pet Crookshanks before leaving her flat. She quickly replaced her warding and Apparated to the Ministry.

She kept her eyes to the floor as she made her way through the bustling Atrium and to the lifts. She really didn't want to run into anyone. Hermione just needed a little more time, time to relax and pretend that this wasn't happening. She was asking too much.

As she stepped out of the lifts on her floor, she turned to make her way to her office.

"Granger?"

Hermione sighed and forced a smile to her face before turning around. "Malfoy." She nodded at him politely.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be here today. Isn't it your match day?" He asked, leaning his tall frame against the wall opposite the lift.

"It is, but I have a couple hours, I just wanted to take another look at the documents you gave me yesterday."

Draco shook his head. "Not your case anymore."

She furrowed her brows in confusion at the blonde man. "What are you talking about? You just dropped it off yesterday."

He grinned, pushing off the wall and walking towards her. "You're getting married, Granger. Mandatory two-month honeymoon? Remember?"

Her jaw dropped. If this whole situation couldn't get any more ridiculous. "And who is going to take over the relocation of the Elves? I can't take two months from work. This can't happen."

"I think it was transferred to Matthews." He laughed at the look of horror on her face. Matthews wasn't a bad guy; he just didn't have the sensitive touch required to deal with sentient beings. "Relax. You probably won't even think about the Elves after the first few days. Marital bliss and all." And then the bastard winked at her and walked away.

She grumbled under her breath, cursing the unnecessarily attractive blonde pureblood. Of all the things she needed to deal with today, Draco Malfoy wasn't anywhere at all on her list.

—

It wasn't until hours later, while Hermione had her head buried in paperwork she was trying to sort through, that she remembered her matching meeting. The only reason she did was because the letter that she had received folded itself into a paper bird and started fluttering around her office. It perched on the bookshelves she had in the corner and tweeted obnoxiously until she finally looked up. Her eyes caught on the clock, and she realized it was a quarter after two.

Standing up from her comfortable leather chair, she made her way around her dark wood desk and summoned the bird with a wandless spell.

Of course, they'd have a Reminder Charm on it. How annoying.

She took one last look at her office, making sure she didn't forget anything. Her wand was safely tucked away in the bun she wrangled her ringlets into an hour ago when her hair was getting in her way.

For reasons unbeknownst to Hermione, the WMI Office was located on the fifth floor along with the Department of International Magical Cooperation. She could only guess that they were eventually going to try to pull other Wizarding communities into this vile law.

On the bright side, however, it only took her a brief walk and a lift ride until she was standing in front of an office labeled " Lorraine Fiddleton, Head of the Wizarding Marriage Initiative Office" on a bright bronze plaque.

To the left of the office door, a young witch with dark hair and bright pink lipstick sat at a large desk, tapping pieces of parchment with her wand before they were sent across the room, landing in a neat pile.

Hermione walked up to the desk and cleared her throat, "Hi, I'm…"

The witch looked up. "Hermione Granger!" She exclaimed, cutting Hermione off. "I am so pleased to be involved in your matching day." The witch's voice was bright and cheery. Hermione expected a migraine at any moment.

"Yes. I'm not sure who I'm supposed to be meeting, the letter just told me-"

"No worries, no worries." The witch cut her off again with a wave of a perfectly manicured hand. She stood up. "You're a special case, doll. Come with me."

Hermione sighed and followed the overzealous witch through a maze of corridors. At the last turn, Hermione saw a tall figure standing next to a door.

Long black curly hair tied back loosely, facial hair trimmed neatly over a hard jaw, full plush lips, an old muggle rock t-shirt and holey jeans. She knew when the figure turned to face her, gray eyes would meet hers.

Sirius Black.

She was being matched with Sirius Black.

There was a part of her, a small part that always harbored a crush on the man, that was dancing around her head in excitement like a 13-year-old. The other part, the 24-year-old best friend of his God son was about to bite through her lip in worry.

The sound of their heels must have finally alerted the older wizards to their presence, and he turned to greet the two women with a heart stopping smile. Those Black family gray eyes caught on Hermione's. "Afternoon, Kitten." His deep voice rolled around the syllables of the nickname and caused a shiver to run up Hermione's back.

"Sirius…?" She said, stopping just a few feet short of him. "I'm matched with you?"

"Hmm." He grinned, "You don't seem upset. This could work."

Hermione blushed fiercely and tried to stumble through an explanation about how at least she knew him.

Sirius laughed, "I'm just teasing, kitten." The ever-present smile dropped off his lips, "there's more than just us being matched. I wanted to come out and meet you so you wouldn't go in alone. We've already been told." He offered her his hand. "Come."

"We?" She asked, placing her hand against his warm skin. He tangled their fingers together and tugged her towards the open door. "What do you mean, We?" 'More than us being matched'?

The secretary said something in her cheery voice, but Hermione was beyond hearing. She had a horrible feeling.

Hermione's heart sped as if it was trying to beat through her ribcage and when she entered the room, she could have fallen over from shock.

Sitting around a conference table was way more faces than should be involved with this.

The kind, handsome and scarred face of her former Professor sat on one side, his hands folded in front of him. He smiled gently when his green eyes met hers.

Remus Lupin.

Next to him sat none other than Draco Malfoy himself, the ever-present grin missing from his beautiful face. His eyes, when they flicked to hers, betrayed his nerves.

Next to Draco sat a man she hadn't seen too often. Theodore Nott. Chestnut brown curls fell over his forehead, brushing equally dark brows. One that was raised at her as she looked him over. His dark eyes seemed to roam over her in his own assessment. He was gorgeous, his lips soft looking, tipped into a smirk that had her questioning what was going through his head. Theo was friends with Draco and therefore, someone who she saw periodically as she walked around the ministry but didn't know.

At the head of the table sat an old witch wearing pink dress robes and a smile that made Hermione itch. Her perfectly coiffed blonde locks looked like it took the world's strongest sticking charm to stay in place. She looked way too happy.

"Uhm…" Hermione didn't have words.

Sirius led her to a chair facing all three men and took his seat on the other side of Remus.

The pink witch amped up her smile at Hermione. "Ms. Granger. I am ever so pleased to meet you. I am Lorraine Fiddleton, but you can call me Lorrie." She said, holding her hand out to Hermione across the table.

Hermione numbly shook her hand. "What is going on?" Her heart hadn't stopped pounding and she was sure everyone in the room could hear it. Not counting the Werewolf with increased hearing who was absolutely giving her a look imploring her to relax.

Gesturing to the four men sitting on the other side of the table, Lorrie finally started to explain. "As I was telling these fine gentlemen there was a little err…" She grimaced slightly, "mix up with the matching paperwork. Nothing to be too concerned about of course. Just a little glitch. It just so happens that you matched with all four of these men."

Hermione's eyes briefly landed on each man in question before landing back on the pink witch. "Okay, so what do we do now? Are there more compatibility questions or something?"

"Oh, heavens no, my dear." Lorrie tsked and summoned a sheet of parchment. "As you well know, men enrolled in the Wizarding Marriage Initiative only get one match. Since pureblood lines are notorious for birthing only male heirs, there is a substantial lack of women compared to men."

"Okay…" Hermione tried to follow. "So, whoever doesn't want to get married just doesn't have to, right?"

With her eyes glued to Lorraine, she caught small movements in her peripheral vision. She was sure someone was laughing; she just didn't know who.

"Again, no." The witch rolled her eyes and Hermione swore she heard her mumble under her something that sounded like 'supposed to be the brightest witch of her age' before she somehow made her grin even brighter. "No, my dear. After much deliberation we decided that you would in fact just marry all four of your matches." Lorraine clapped excitedly. "Isn't that wonderful?"

Hermione's vision blurred.

Out of everything she thought would happen, this was not one of them.

The men, she couldn't care less WHO they were. To be honest, she could do worse than the attractive wizards sitting in front of her.

But that was the problem. There were four of them!

She felt like she couldn't breathe. The precious gulps of air she was taking were going absolutely nowhere. The band wrapped tightly around her chest wouldn't let her lungs expand enough to take in oxygen. A ringing started in her ears and there was suddenly a flurry of movement. She vaguely heard someone say what sounded like 'panic attack' before she was pulled off her chair into a lap. Strong arms wrapped around her, and the air suddenly smelled like leather and smoke. Sirius. Sirius was holding her and whispering in her ear. She pressed her face closer to his warm skin.

"Shhh, kitten, you're alright." His strong hand was rubbing circles into the middle of her back.

It took a few minutes, but soon enough she was finally able to take in oxygen. She took a deep breath and lifted her head from Sirius' neck.

"Sorry." She mumbled, moving to push herself away from him.

Sirius smiled and tightened his arms slightly, "Don't worry, Hermione. It's alright. I know it's a lot to take in. Just sit for a minute."

She felt four pairs of eyes on her as she tried to calm herself completely in Sirius' arms. Finally, she realized they were sitting on the floor. Wiggling out of his grip she stood up and eyed the three other men and the still brightly smiling women. She was starting to think Lorraine charmed her face to stay like that.

Sirius stood up and returned to his seat.

"Sorry about that." Hermione said shyly, feeling her face heat.

Various 'don't worry about it' were mumbled and Hermione sat down.

"So how does this work? I'm going to marry each of them separately? What about the number of children, what are the rules, the time off, the living situation? What about their opinion?" She pointed to the other side of the table, "What if they don't want to marry me? What if I don't want to marry one of them?"

She heard someone, who sounded suspiciously like Theo, say 'Hey!' across from her. She ignored him.

Lorraine cleared her throat and leaned forward, her eyes taking in each of them in turn before settling on Hermione.

Hermione mildly felt like she was going to be scolded.

"Ms. Granger, as much as we want everyone to be happy, and we have put a lot of work into making everyone happy, we frankly don't care."

The ease in which the blonde witch destroyed any of Hermione's arguments made her feel like she was slapped. Hermione looked to the men across from her and every one of them looked as pissed off as Hermione felt.

"So that being said," the witch continued, "there are a few modifications to the rules. You can find them written and amended here." With a flick of her wand, a piece of parchment landed in front of Hermione, Remus, Sirius, Draco and Theo.

Wizarding Marriage Initiative Office presents:

The Rules and Requirements of A Successful Match:
Consummate the marriage within one month
[Modification: consummate all 4 marriages within 3 months]

Have at least 1 child within 2 years
[Modification: have at least 1 child within 2.5 years]

After 5 years if a couple is unhappy they can divorce, as long as there has been at least 2 children
[If not met, the next opportunity to divorce is after 10 years provided they've had 3 children.]

Must live together
Fidelity is required
9 hours maximum separation to allow for work (After two months)
Two-month honeymoon
[Besides major holidays, must only contact others over owl for the first month]

Hermione looked from the piece of paper in her hand to the grinning witch and then to the men across from her. Draco looked paler than normal, Theo looked like he really didn't care too much, Remus looked concerned, and Sirius just looked at Hermione, watching her reaction.

"Fidelity clause? I can't ask them to be faithful. This whole thing is a sham." Hermione glared at the paper, and it started to smoke lightly on the edge. "You're taking away our decisions on who we spend our life with, who we share our bodies with, who we live with. There's literally no autonomy here. Not to mention making decisions about my uterus, which I really don't-"

Lorraine Fiddleton must have had enough at that point because she stood up and slammed her hands on the table. "Ms. Granger, I was witness to all the dispute letters you sent in. I know all the ins and outs of your feelings against the WMI and again… I don't care. This is for the bettering of the British Wizarding Community and you're just going to have to deal with it." She sat back down, replacing the smile on her face. "Now, any other questions, concerns or comments?" She asked sweetly.

"How are you all not freaking out about this with me?" Hermione asked the men across from her.

Draco was the first to respond. He shrugged, "Granger, we've all been here for an hour. We're no longer in shock." He looked to Theo who grinned at him. "It won't be so bad, maybe."

Theo turned that panty melting grin back to Hermione. "What can I say, beautiful? Could be way worse. Who wouldn't want to be paired up with a beautiful, intelligent, and hardworking witch."?

Hermione blushed at his words. Though she never spent too much time with Theo, he was always nice. And apparently a smooth talker.

She looked then to Remus who hardly met her eye. "We'll just have to deal with it, Hermione. I'm sorry."

Sirius laughed, "I agree with Theo."

Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing. Two of the men seemed nearly excited at the prospect and the other two resigned.

Lorraine slipped out of her chair. "Alright then, I'll leave you five alone for a little bit. Talk, plan, get to know each other… your wedding is on the 15th."

"Of January?" Hermione asked, which caused the blonde witch to laugh.

"Oh no, no, my dear. December 15th. I'll see you all on Monday." And with that bomb dropped and a flourish, Lorraine Fiddleton walked briskly out of the room, humming.

Hermione felt the blood drain from her face. She looked across the table to four equally pale and shocked faces. Her lungs refused to expand.

—

"So now what? You're going to be a whore and fuck four men."

Hermione balked at the ginger haired wizard, taking a step back so she wouldn't punch him in the throat like she was itching to do. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, and she could feel the crackle of her magic in her hair.

She had barely had enough time to catch her breath after the announcement of her wedding date when Harry and Ron showed up outside the conference room. Harry had apparently made plans with Sirius to meet him there after Sirius' match meeting, before any of them knew what was happening.

When Ron found out what was happening, his face slowly became redder and redder until Hermione was sure steam was going to start shooting out of his ears like he took a pepper-up. She pulled him away and down the hall before he could blame any of her… fiancées.

Her stomach twisted. She had a hard time applying that word to any of the men.

She had found herself in a darkened supply closet before she realized they had stopped walking.

"Don't you ever speak to me that way, Ronald Weasley. You think I wanted to marry four men at the same time? That's absolutely preposterous. I am as much of a victim of this ridiculous and unbelievable law as everyone else. I fought hard to have this law repealed." Her chest heaved in anger as her face flushed with heat. She felt as if her blood itself was boiling. She knew he was upset, but now he was just being unreasonable. "Do not act like this is my fault. Do not act like this is what I wanted. And do not act like a concerned friend because this," She gestured between the two of them. "Whatever this was, whatever we had, friendship or otherwise is over. Completely over."

Hermione whirled away at that point, grabbing the doorknob to escape the supply closet that Ron had unceremoniously dragged her into. As she stepped out, Ronald caught her arm.

"You can't do this, Mione. You and I were good together, we were going to be good together. If you just married me, everything would be fine, and you wouldn't need to worry about those stupid matches." The bright blue eyes that she had so adored not that long ago were glistening and he tried to soften his face. Hermione was over it.

"No. We would not have been good together, Ron. Let me go. I'm leaving." She tugged her arm in an attempt to release his hold, but his fingers gripped tighter, wrinkling the fabric of her soft cream blouse.

"You can't do this. I won't let you be paraded around and used like a slut."

He could have slapped her, and it would have hurt less. "Ron, if you don't let go of me…"

But Hermione was cut off by what actually sounded like an animal's growl. The gruff voice of Remus sounded even deeper than usual. "I would implore you to take your hand off of my fiancé, Mr. Weasley, before this situation gets out of hand more than it already has."

Hermione's head whipped around to look over her shoulder. Remus was standing in a perfect dueling stance, but his wand was hanging down by his side. With the full moon only a week away, Hermione knew that his temper and other wolf-ish tendencies could be closer to the surface. His bared teeth and nearly copper eyes could attest to that.

Hermione tore her arm from Ron and walked slowly backwards until she was only a few feet away from Remus before turning to face the older man. She placed a soft hand on his arm, knowing that slow movements and soft touches would be more productive than any sort of anger or bitterness around the exchange. Spending all that time at Grimmauld through school and over the last six years had helped her understand Remus the man and Remus the wolf. It was Remus the wolf she was dealing with now.

She made the effort to relax, to allow the anger to dissipate. She didn't really care what Ron was going to do now, she just didn't need him to be antagonistic to a protective Werewolf.

"Hey…" She whispered softly to him, raising her eyes to focus on his face while avoiding direct eye contact. "I'm alright. You know how Ron is."

Remus took deep breaths, his nostrils flaring as he took in his surroundings with one of his strongest senses. After a few breathes, he calmed, his eyes slowly returning to their natural moss green. Hermione loved that color. His eyes would change frequently, but this deep green was always her favorite. It meant that he was calm, more Remus than Moony.

His jaw finally unclenched, and he roamed his eyes over her to make sure she was okay, catching on the rumpled sleeve of her blouse. "Ron, I better not catch you harming her again. Regardless of anything, she is one of your oldest friends. Treat her as such."

"Whatever Remus." Ronald huffed with a roll of his eyes. "You know this whole situation is bloody ridiculous. Not only is she matched with someone twice her age, but she's also matched with two of them and two bloody death eaters."

With a final glare at the two of them, he stormed away down the hall, his face still a deep red in anger.

Hermione turned to Remus and sighed, "I'm sorr-"

"You have nothing to apologize for." Remus said with a soft smile, "Ron's reaction won't be the only one we get like that. Are you okay?" He gently took her hand in his much larger one.

She glanced between their hands and his face and smiled lightly; she could at least be sure that one of her future husbands was fully on her side. She took a deep breath, inhaling the parchment and chocolate smell that always seemed to surround him. "Yes." She said softly. "I think I am."

"Did he hurt you?" Remus asked, pulling her arm up so he could move her sleeve out of the way. Red marks marred her skin, and she was sure they were going to bruise. Remus' nostrils flared in anger, and his jaw tightened. A shocking contrast to the gentle way his warm fingers ran over the marks. "Bastard." He growled.

Hermione pulled her arm away, lowering the sleeve before tucking her arm against her stomach. "It's okay, Remus. It doesn't hurt."

"Whether it hurts you currently or not, he marked you and that's not okay." His eyes were flickering back to copper the longer she looked at him.

She took his hand in hers "I'm okay, let's go back." She said with a calming smile.

The Werewolf huffed a breath before nodding and following her back down the hall towards where her other three husbands-to-be waited for them.

Hermione sighed; this day needed to be fucking over.

Saturday, December 13th, 2003

Hermione avoided everyone for the next three days.

She reinforced her wards, locked her windows, locked her floo and even unplugged her muggle phone from the wall. She silenced the apartment so she couldn't hear anyone knocking after Harry and Sirius both showed up to her apartment.

She just needed to be alone.

Her last few days as a single, free and independent witch were spent wine drunk before noon and reading as many books as she could. Waking up on Saturday afternoon, Hermione downed both a sober-up and pepper up, showered, dressed in a sweater and leggings and removed all her wards.

She had her time to mope, now it was time to accept what cards were dealt to her.

Four tall and attractive cards. Hermione laughed to herself as she opened her front door. She needed to go to Grimmauld Place to see Sirius and apologize for ignoring him.

To her surprise, the hallway in front of her door was not empty. Sitting on two conjured chairs were Draco and Theo. Hermione blinked at them.

"What are you two doing here?" She asked, closing her door behind her.

"Goddamn, Granger. Finally, we were seriously contemplating calling in curse breakers to break those damn wards." Draco exclaimed, standing up from the chair. He tentatively walked over to her and ran a finger softly down her cheek making Hermione freeze. His voice softened. "Are you alright? We were all worried."

Theo stepped forward and took Draco's hand away from Hermione, linking their fingers together. "You're going to spook her, Draco. She just stepped outside for the first time in three days."

Hermione almost laughed, apparently Theo thought she was a wounded animal. Great. "I'm alright. I just had some… stuff to work out. I just needed time."

Those gray eyes that Hermione loved so much darkened in what appeared to be annoyance. A frown pulling down Draco's handsome features. "We all needed time, Granger. But we all spent three days trying to contact you. You couldn't have let us know you were okay?"

She watched as Theo's thumb began a slow stroke across the inside of Draco's wrist. "We talked about this." He mumbled to the blonde.

Hermione felt guilt fill her chest. "I'm not going to apologize for taking the time I needed to wrap my head around this." She started, fidgeting with the sleeve of the dark sweater she was wearing. Draco opened his mouth to say something... "But" She continued before he could say something sarcastic. "I will apologize for worrying you and not letting you know I was OK."

Draco sighed and shot a look at Theo before nodding at her.

"Great! Now that that whole business is sorted out. What do you say to a little get-together at Grimmauld Place?" Theo asked. "I believe there's some things we need to work out, don't you, beautiful?"

Hermione blushed at the endearment and nodded. "I think there's a lot to work out."

Theo reached out and took her hand. Before she could blink, there was a distinct squeezing sensation, and she was staring at the newly painted front door of Grimmauld Place. She stumbled into Draco, her side landing against his hard abdomen.

"A little warning next time, please?" Draco growled, making sure Hermione was stable before letting her go. He ran his hand through his blonde locks.

The brunette wizard grinned innocently. "Oops."

As Hermione lifted her hand to knock, the door swung inwards, and she was suddenly surrounded by the scent of parchment and chocolate. Remus hugged her tightly to his chest and pressed his nose to her hair, inhaling deeply.

"Are you okay, love?" He asked, pulling her gently away from him. "Last time I saw you, you had just been bruised by Ron and then you disappeared for three days."

"What do you mean bruised by Ron?" She heard Sirius ask, coming down the hallway. "Hi Kitten, thanks for finally joining us."

"I'm fine, Remus. But I owe both you and Sirius the same apology I gave Draco and Theo. I'm sorry for worrying you and not letting you know what was going on."

Remus bent so he could see her eye to eye, "Please don't do that again." His eyes were ringed with copper and Hermione could have kicked herself. The full moon was only a few days away, of course he was anxious. He felt responsible for her now.

She placed her hand gently on his cheek and he nuzzled her hand, "I really am sorry."

He nodded and stood up straight. "Now why do you smell so much like liquor, usually you smell of peaches and vanilla. Did you drink a lot?"

Hermione grinned sheepishly at Remus before glancing at the other three men. Of course, Remus would catch that. "I may have had some glasses… or bottles of wine over the last few days."

Sirius laughed, "That's my girl." He turned and walked to the kitchen, "Come. There's food to soak up all that wine."

They all followed Sirius into the kitchen and took seats at the old wood table that just comfortably fit five. Tea and snacks were spread across the table. "Kreacher threw some food together for us," said Sirius. "Might be a bit of an arse, but he's good in the kitchen."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

For the next little while, it was silent as they all ate. Hermione took the time to look at the four men sitting with her. To her right, Sirius was relaxed, almost arrogantly sprawled across his chair.

Remus sat to her left, picking at the food and looking at her periodically until he dragged his eyes away, only to look back a second later. The older man seemed nervous, but more than that he was pale. His scars were more visible than normal. Hermione knew this typically happened close to the full moon and she hoped he was taking care of himself.

Across from her, Draco and Theo sat side by side, sipping at their tea. Draco still hadn't regained his grin and she wondered if he was having a harder time than she thought with this. It was one thing to be acquainted with a muggleborn, but having to marry one as a pureblood? She didn't think he still held his previous prejudices, but it was clearly something they were going to need to talk about. Her skin tingled where he had gently stroked her cheek back at her apartment. He was the most confusing.

Theo seemed to be just as relaxed as Sirius. He winked at Hermione when he caught her looking at Draco. She remembered them holding hands and wondered if there was a previous relationship there. She knew they were friends, but maybe they were more? Was she ruining their relationship?

There was so much they needed to talk about. So much they needed to figure out. Hermione didn't even know where to start.

It was Sirius that broke the silence, "First off, what happened with Ron?"

"Nothing." Hermione stated, turning to look at the Black heir. "He lost his temper at the Ministry and yelled at me."

Remus huffed, "He bruised your arm, Hermione. He dragged you into a closet, yelled at you and bruised you."

"I'll kill him." Draco growled, "Who does the Weasel think he is?"

Hermione looked at Draco, whose face was set in a scowl. An equally angry looking Theo was leaning forward. "It sounds worse than it is." Hermione tried to explain calmly. "It barely bruised, and it's gone now. He just got mad that I wasn't matched with him, and I declined his proposal."

This made the two Slytherins chuckle and Hermione was sure if she had to deal with those two ganging up on her for the rest of her life, she was going to lose it. The thought made her blush when she realized what it could also imply.

"And you didn't kill him, Remus?" Sirius asked. She wasn't sure he was totally joking but she brushed it off.

"No, he didn't. Because I'm fine and Ron will get over it. And if I ever speak to him again, I'll make sure he apologizes."

"I still think someone should hit him." said Sirius, taking a sip of his tea.

Theo smiled, "Next time I go into the joke shop, I'll make sure to set something off that will hit him."

Sirius grinned.

"Okay, so the actual first thing." Hermione started. "Where do we live?"

"What do you mean, kitten?" Sirius asked.

"Well, my flat is not big enough for five people, so we need to live somewhere else."

"We already discussed that part while you were… away." Remus explained. "We think it would be best if we stayed here. Sirius and I are already living here. You, Draco and Theo would just need to move in."

Hermione turned her gaze to the two younger men, "And you two are okay leaving your manors to move in here?" She somewhat doubted it. Grimmauld Place was nicer than it had been in the past. It had been cleaned up, updated and there were no longer decapitated heads lining the wall of the stairway, but it was no Malfoy Manor.

Draco shrugged, "I don't exactly want to move all of you into the manor with my parents."

Hermione shuddered at the thought. Lucius had spent his time in Azkaban and Narcissa showed her true loyalty at the end of the war. Though Hermione had worked through most of her issues, staying in that manor was not something she was keen on.

If Draco noticed her reaction, he didn't show it. He just glanced over at Theo. "I barely go into the Nott manor." Theo said, "I don't know what sort of dark shit is in the place and I don't care to find out."

Hermione nodded, "Okay then. We'll move in here."

That was the easiest thing on Hermione's mental list of things-to-discuss-with-her-husbands-to-be. She wasn't sure how to bring any of the other issues up, so she looked to the men around her.

"Do any of you have anything you want to… discuss? Or worries you have? The only way any of this is going to work is if we talk openly."

She looked at Draco when he cleared his throat. There were slight pink spots blooming on his cheekbones. Draco Malfoy was blushing.

"Well, I thought you should know that Theo and I aren't just friends." He said, and Theo took his hand. They were really quite beautiful together.

Nodding, Hermione smiled sadly at them, "I figured that out earlier. I'm sorry if this is damaging your relationship. The last thing I want to do is to make someone uncomfortable. I wish this law didn't happen. We can try to find some way around the requirements."

Theo laughed and it threw Hermione off for a moment. "Hermione, beautiful, that's not what he's getting at. He's not trying to make you uncomfortable or tell you you're ruining our relationship. I love Draco and he loves me, but that's not going to stop us from being with you wholeheartedly."

Draco's blush brightened at Hermione's confusion and Theo jumped in again before either of them could say something awkward. "Bisexual, gorgeous, and absolutely no issues sharing a woman."

Hermione felt her face heat. Draco was embarrassed, she was mortified, Sirius was trying not to laugh, and Remus looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him.

Draco growled at his boyfriend, "You couldn't have waited until we were alone to bring that part up, Nott? Merlin, no damn class. Yes, Granger… I just wanted to let you know that Theo and I were together. Not to make it awkward, just to inform you. Now can we stop?"

Theo laughed as Hermione took a fortifying sip of tea. Where was the fire whiskey that usually flowed like water around this place? "Okay, um, anyone else?" She asked.

All four men shook their heads and Hermione took a deep breath. "Okay, I have one concern I wanted to bring up. This fidelity clause. I'm worried about it."

Sirius cocked his head, "Four men at home and you're going to be looking for others, kitten? I'm hurt." He dramatically placed his hand over his heart.

"W-what? No!" Hermione objected "That's not what I meant at all. I just mean…" She took another sip of tea. "I'm just one person… how am I supposed to have four full marriages and work and apparently pop out an abundance of children while still giving you all what you need in a relationship. I don't know if I can be enough." She lowered her eyes to her lap at this point, not really wanting to see the look of agreement on any of the men's faces.

It was Remus who spoke first, "This is going to be a learning curve for all of us. Everyone's going to need different things at different times, love. Sometimes everyone will want alone time, sometimes we'll want to spend time with one person. We just need to play it by ear and be open if we're not getting what we need."

She lifted her eyes to look at him, "Are you sure?"

Sirius caught her eye, "Kitten, I'll warn you now that I'm extremely touchy. But I promise, if you need space, I'll go cuddle with Remus. Or maybe those two since they don't seem to mind a third." He winked at Theo and Draco which caused Theo to grin.

Draco grimaced, "All yours, Theo. Sirius and I are cousins and while that's generally accepted in pureblood families, no thank you."

Reaching across the table, Theo pulled one of Hermione's hands from her teacup. "We'll make it work, don't worry." The blonde next to him nodded in agreement.

"So, about children."

Hermione looked up at Sirius, this was probably the part she was dreading the most. "What about them?" She said with a sigh. She wasn't exactly looking forward to becoming a broodmare for the British Wizarding Government.

"Do you know which one of us you want to father your first child?" Sirius asked, teasingly.

She knew he was trying to make light of the whole situation, but she didn't even know how this would work. She pulled her hand away from Theo and crossed her arms. "You're asking me if I thought about who is going to impregnate me first while I was wallowing in liquor? No, Sirius, I can't say I contemplated that."

This earned her a round of chuckles, but Sirius grinned at her. "Well, I just wanted to let you know that that was another conversation that came up while you were drinking your sorrows away."

Hermione glared around the table, anger prickling in her veins. "What, so you all just decided for me who gets to knock me up first? How fucking dare-"

"Calm down, Granger. If you'd let the man finish, you would understand. You really do jump to conclusions, don't you? We'll need to remember that." Draco rolled his eyes as if she was being unreasonable.

"I'm sorry, Draco. Forgive me for being a little defensive after it was already decided for me that I would be having children and who their father would be. I'm a little sensitive about decisions that affect me being made without my presence." Hermione seethed. Damn pureblood prick.

Draco raised his hands in a "don't shoot" gesture. "All we discussed is that whatever children that are born would be all of ours, regardless of who was their biological father."

Hermione's jaw dropped and for a second, she was speechless. That was actually… sweet of them. She felt the fight drain out of her and her eyes burned with tears. "Thank you."

These four men had come together to discuss their situation, not to make more choices without including her, but to make things easier for her. Given the circumstances, she was lucky.

A soft smile graced Draco's face, "We're in this together, Granger. We're not dumping all of this on you."

Maybe he wasn't such a prick after all. She'd really need to make a point to sit down with him and talk, just the two of them.

She cleared her throat, "Regardless, I think I'd rather wait for a little bit. We have two and a half years and I'm still on the potion."

Each nodded their agreement, though Remus still seemed a little off. The conversation turned to more random things. Mostly things to do with the house like bedroom selection. Sirius still had his room on the third floor, the room Hermione always used was vacant and waiting for her on the second floor, across the hall from Remus. Draco and Theo had chosen the room next to Remus' on the second floor as it was technically a second Master Bedroom and would be more comfortable for the two of them full time.

Hermione found it nice that they would each have their own space to retreat into if they needed it. She was feeling more optimistic now that they had sat down to talk.

—

As the hour grew late, Hermione was pleased to note that she was comfortable. The conversations were flowing well, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Sirius, Theo and Draco had gotten into a conversation about Quidditch, while Hermione and Remus spoke about the recent books she had read. Then it switched around and Hermione and Draco had a full civil conversation about work while Theo and Sirius spoke about the process of becoming an Animagus, Remus joining in periodically as he was there when the Marauders began their transformations.

All in all, Hermione felt that they could make this work.

They had to; they had no choice. But she was at least glad they could consider each other friends. They would just worry about the rest later.

Sunday, December 14th, 2003

Hermione woke the next day to a stag in her bedroom.

"Hermione, Ginny is demanding you come over for dinner tonight. Have to agree with her. See you at 4." Harry's voice sounded firm, leaving no room for arguments. It was his Auror voice. Usually, she laughed at him when he tried that on her but this time, he and Ginny were two other people she owed an apology to.

She cast a quick Tempus charm and realized she had slept well into the afternoon. She only had a couple hours until she needed to be in Godric's Hollow.

She had gotten home late the night before after spending time with Remus, Sirius, Draco and Theo.

By the time she got home, she was almost… looking forward to the time she would spend with them. She couldn't help the smile that crossed her face.

Crawling out of bed, Hermione decided that a cup of tea and then a shower before getting dressed would be the best start. Then she would floo to Harry and Ginny's and face whatever anger there was there.

—

"Knock knock." Hermione called as she stepped out of the fireplace and into the empty living room of the Potter's cottage. It was the perfect place for her two friends. Cozy and warm like the burrow but without the clutter and chaos, though that was sure to change when they started having children.

She walked down the hall, following the sound of hushed voices coming from the kitchen. "Harry? Ginny?" She called again to announce her presence.

Suddenly, all Hermione could see was a curtain of red and the arms of the youngest Weasley children were wrapped around her. "Hermione! I've been so worried! Where the hell have you been?"

Harry peaked his head into the hall, "I'd like to know the same thing."

Hermione pulled away from Ginny. "Let's go into the kitchen to talk. I could really use some more tea and some patience from you two."

Ginny nodded and flicked her wand towards the kitchen, most likely setting the kettle to boil, before taking Hermione's arm and dragging her to the dark wood table. "Sit. Don't move. And spill." She said before taking her own seat.

Hermione looked nervously from Ginny to Harry. "Okay. So, I'm assuming Harry told you what happened at the Ministry?" When Ginny nodded, she continued, "Well, after that I had a run in with your brother. And after that I just had to get away for a while. I spent three days in my apartment pretty much drunk the entire time and reading. I didn't go anywhere, I didn't see anyone, I was just home."

Ginny nodded along and pointed her wand at the kitchen to summon the tea while Hermione spoke.

"That's absolutely understandable, Mione." Ginny said, handing her a teacup. Hermione took a small sip of the soothing drink. "It's a lot of information to go through."

Hermione smiled; she was hoping her friends would understand. But they still deserved an apology. "I'm sorry I didn't let you know that I needed space. But I'm not sorry for taking that time. I really needed it."

Ginny rested her hand on the back of Hermione's. "I get it. I really do." She shot a look at her husband. "Agreed?"

Harry gave a sigh, "Agreed. Just let us know next time. We were all frantic. I actually felt bad for Malfoy, and I don't like feeling bad for Malfoy."

Hermione cocked a brow at him, "He's your co-worker, you're supposed to be nice."

"Sure. But now he's one of four men marrying my best friend. I'm allowed to be a little bitter."

"I still can't believe the ministry messed up so bad. I don't even know how that would work. Ron was SO mad." Ginny laughed at this, "though I don't really care. He's an ass. But is it true you told him you'd marry him."?

Hermione looked at the ginger witch in shock "I absolutely did not. Is that what he's telling people?" She asked.

Ginny and Harry both nodded their assent, but it was Harry that replied. "After I finally tracked him down after you pulled him out of the conference room, he told me that you had told him you would marry him and then must've decided that… err…" Harry rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and went to stand behind his wife. "I don't really want to say it."

Ginny rolled your eyes. "My dumbass brother said you must've decided that one cock wasn't good enough and you needed to go above and beyond and overachieve like you always do. His words, not mine."

Taking a deep breath, Hermione rubbed her fingers into her temple, "First off, I did not tell Ronald I would marry him. He had asked me more times than I could count, and I said no each and every time. I want to be his friend. You know we wouldn't be good together." Harry and Ginny nodded at this, "Second, I barely had time to digest the fact that I was going to be marrying four men before Ron showed up so like hell, I had time to even decide how many…" She huffed loudly, "What an arse."

Ginny giggled, "That he is."

"So, I suppose your family have all heard this tale from Ron? Oh, they probably hate me." She wanted to cry. The Weasley's had been her second family for so long now, she didn't want to lose them.

"Mum is upset, like she always is when she thinks Ron has been slighted. But everyone else is either refusing to pick a side or just ignoring it." She patted Hermione's hand before flicking her wand at various things in the kitchen to start supper. "I will talk to Mum, and we'll get it all cleared up. I still want to see you at Christmas. We can, right?"

Hermione nodded, "Two-month mandatory honeymoon starting tomorrow. Can only contact anyone by owl unless it is a major holiday." She listed out the rule that was burned into her head. "I understand their point, they want to give you no choice but to… consummate the relationship, but I'm not at all happy about missing two months of work. I don't even know how they're working this out with stores and shops."

Ginny grinned wickedly at Hermione, "So how is the consummating four marriages going to work."

Hearing a cough, or maybe it was a gag, the two women looked at Harry. "I'm going to go, um… fix something. Let me know when dinner is ready. Great. Thanks." He didn't wait for a response before taking off up the stairs.

Hermione giggled, "Well, that's one way to run Harry out of a room."

"Such a prude." Ginny rolled her eyes. "But seriously, details. Do you know how this will work?"

The curly haired witch shrugged, "No idea. We talked about living and rooming arrangements and a few other things last night, but that did not come up. Not explicitly anyways."

Ginny cocked her head, "What do you mean?"

"They told me that whatever children we have will belong to all of us regardless of who's the actual father."

The younger witch's eyes widened, and she placed a hand on her chest, "That's…"

"Really quite sweet, right? My reaction exactly."

Ginny nodded, seeming almost at a loss for words. "I wasn't expecting that. Maybe from Remus, but not Malfoy or Sirius. I don't know Theo enough to make that judgement. But purebloods are usually all about continuing the line and heirs."

"I was wondering about that. How would that work?" Questioned Hermione. "Pureblood customs aren't something you find books on. Unless it's some strange dark magic or ritual."

"There's not too much to it," Ginny explained. "First born gets everything. The name, the titles, any businesses or properties, the vault. Everything is passed to the first-born son."

"And if we don't have sons? If we have only daughters?"

"Marry into another pureblood line and that male heir gets everything."

Hermione shook her head, "Well that's kind of awful."

"Welcome to pureblood society, Hermione. It sucks here and everything is run by men. This is why I'm glad my parents never followed that. Otherwise, I would have been betrothed to some bloke before I was out of diapers. No thanks." She made a disgusted face. "But with everything that's happening now, who knows what the future is going to hold. They seem to be trying to breed out purebred lines."

Hermione contemplated this as Ginny rose from her seat to finish their dinner.

—

By the time Hermione made it home, she was still running over the information that Ginny had given her. This was yet another thing that would need to be talked about. Though the concept of all of them accepting responsibility for every child that was born was sweet, would it be accepted by law and the old magic that controlled things like the transfer from father to son?

She was pulled out of her thoughts by a huge golden owl tapping at her window. She grabbed an owl treat and went to let it in. The owl stood calmly as she removed the letter but turned its beak up at the treat. Guess it wasn't good enough. It shuffled its wings and sat primly, staring at her. It must've been told to wait for a response.

She unrolled the parchment and found it was from Sirius:

Kitten,

Wedding is tomorrow. Stop over thinking everything and get some sleep.

We'll figure out everything as we go.

We'll see you at the marriage office at 9. Don't be late.

Sirius

Hermione ripped the bottom of the parchment off the letter and wrote back quickly.

Sirius,

Thank you for letting me know the time. See you tomorrow.

H

With the owl sent off and the window closed, Hermione sighed and went to bed. She probably wouldn't sleep, but it was better than staring at a wall. She looked around her small flat. She was definitely going to miss this place.

Tomorrow was going to change everything.

Monday, December 15th, 2003

Hermione hadn't slept at all. She tried every trick in the book to relax so she at least had some rest before her wedding day. But not even the driest book in her large library would help her drift off to sleep.

She passed time the best she could, packing some clothes and books into her beaded bag to bring to Grimmauld Place right away. She dressed in a dark red sweater dress and black heels and read some more until finally it was time to go.

She met Sirius, Remus, Draco and Theo in front of the desk of the hyperactive witch from the match day. Hermione said hi to each man and tried to rub her eyes to wake up more. She was absolutely exhausted.

Sirius threw an arm over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Are you okay?"

Hermione laughed, almost hysterically. "I feel like you guys are always asking me if I'm okay, Sirius."

"Well, Granger… you kind of look like hell." Draco interjected, earning him a glare from Hermione. "Sorry, but did you sleep at all? Or even eat?"

Hermione shook her head. "I couldn't sleep and I'm not exactly hungry right now." Her stomach was so twisted in knots, she didn't have any room for food.

Sirius squeezed her closer and she received sympathetic looks from the other three. Hermione didn't know how they were all so calm about this. They were acting like it was just another day. She couldn't help being thankful for their stoicism. She wasn't quite sure what she would do if all of them were freaking out.

The men talked while Hermione tried to calm her thumping heart. They tried to pull her into the conversation, but she couldn't participate.

After some time passed, Joanna finally returned to her desk and smiled brightly at the group. "I'm so excited for you. Congratulations and Happy wedding day!"

The blank look they all gave her somehow didn't temper her bright spirit and she directed them to follow her. They were led into the same conference room they had their match meeting in.

Standing in the front of the room was a wrinkled old wizard with long white hair. It looked like they pulled the oldest wizard from the very depths of the ministry to perform the ceremony.

He glared at the perky receptionist before turning his rheumy on Hermione, Sirius, Remus, Draco and Theo. "So, this is the group marriage?" He asked in a low scratchy voice.

"Yes, it is, Officiant Rainor." She proceeded to introduce all five of them, but the old wizard didn't seem to care much.

"Yes yes, let's get started. I have four other ceremonies to go through today and I'm quite tired." Officiant Rainor sighed and steadied himself on the table.

Hermione exchanged looks with all four men before turning back to the Officiant. She didn't want to be responsible for an old wizard taxing his magic, but apparently, she had no choice. They walked over to stand in front of him.

"Tell me, my dear, have you ever seen a bonding ceremony being performed?" He asked Hermione.

She nodded, remembering Harry and Ginny's wedding not too long ago.

"Ah, good. So, we're going to do this one husband at a time before I bond you all together. Just so all the requirements are to be fulfilled by you as a whole." He explained.

That made sense to Hermione, because if they didn't link it all together, that would mean that Hermione would have to somehow have four children in two and a half years. Unless she somehow grew a second uterus or sped up the pregnancies, that was just impossible.

"Just some bonding spells and then it's done." He said, sounding grumpy again. "Who first?"

Sirius, Remus, Draco and Theo looked around at each other and shrugged. Officiant Rainor grabbed Sirius and tugged, surprising the Black heir as he was pulled to stand next to Hermione.

"Please hold out one hand and link your fingers together, please." Officiant Raynor instructed.

Hermione lifted her right hand and Sirius linked the fingers of his left with hers. They held them towards the officiant, waiting for him to start.

He took a deep breath and touched his wand to their joined hands with every word he said. Strings of silver light surrounded Hermione and Sirius arms.

"Animus, Coniunctum in aeternum, Iacentem cum unum, Amare, Fidelis"

As the last word was spoken, the light flickered before dissolving into the skin of their arms. Hermione felt a warmth flitter through her, and she looked to Sirius to see if he was feeling the same. He looked at Hermione and smiled.

"Now kiss so we can complete the other three." Officiant Rainor said impatiently.

Of course, Hermione knew she was going to have to kiss Sirius. She was going to have to kiss all four of them. But she had been ignoring it to this point. Butterflies fluttered in her belly as Sirius turned to face her fully.

"Alright, Kitten?" He asked, lifting his right hand to her cheek.

She nodded, swallowing tightly. "Yeah, I'm alright."

"Good."

Sirius leaned down and kissed her.

Hermione wasn't expecting the flash of heat that shot through her body. It had the same feeling of warmth from earlier to start as the bond sealing completely. Then it heated more. Comfortable but hot. Sirius kept the kiss chaste, but she moaned at the sensation, going slick between her thighs. The scent of him surrounded her: leather and smoke and something distinctly Sirius. He broke the kiss and Hermione stepped back, leaning against the conference table for support.

He smiled at her and she looked wide-eyed at the men around her. "No one told me bonding was so…" She blushed, "Whatever that was."

Sirius smirked and cupped her face, running his thumb along her bottom lip. "And what precisely was it, kitten?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, okay, let's just keep going."

The wicked smirk wouldn't leave Sirius' face, but he stepped back and nudged Remus forward.

Remus reached for her hand, and they linked them together, holding them out for Officiant Raynor. It was the same as before, except forest green strings of light entwined their hands.

When it was time to kiss, Remus leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. It was brief, but Hermione could still feel the warmth going through her system. But instead of overwhelming and hot, it was comforting and safe, like sitting in front of a fireplace with a book. Hermione was starting to gather that the bond felt like the Wizard, Sirius was intense, Remus, safe and sweet. Equally arousing, but completely different.

Next was Draco and Hermione was the most nervous about him. He was nothing like how he was in school, but they had never really worked through everything. The Draco that stood before her was so far removed from his past self.

Instead of taking her hand, he looked at her and held his hand out to her, letting her make the move, "Granger?"

Hermione froze for a moment, studying Draco's face. She saw nothing but slight nerves and fear. She didn't quite understand the fear, but she nodded and placed her hand in his.

The officiant said the bonding words and deep red strings of light surrounded their arms.

She smirked at the Slytherin. She would definitely be teasing him about that.

He looked at her questioningly when she turned towards him, and she nodded her consent.

Draco felt warm and safe too, but it was more like the warmth of cuddling, of body heat and being with someone else. A warmth that bordered on heat.

He pulled away from the kiss and lifted their joined hands to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles before stepping back. Her eyes were locked on his until Theo stepped forward.

Theo gave her a huge smile and immediately took her hand. "Ready, beautiful?"

Hermione nodded.

The strings of light were colored in a bright blue and Hermione thought it fit the excitable Slytherin.

So did the feeling of his kiss. Theo kissed her hard and enthusiastically. Hermione found herself smiling into the kiss as she heard the laughter of her three other husbands. There was still warmth, but it reminded her of being in the sunlight on a beach day or sitting in a park during the summer.

She leaned away and smiled at all of them.

"Okay, now I need all of you to surround Ms. Granger in a half circle." The officiant instructed, adjusting the four men around her until she was almost surrounded. "And now, everyone hold hands..." When they were all linked, Hermione was holding hands with Remus, who ended up on her right and Sirius, who ended up on her left. Draco had linked his hands with Remus and Theo and Theo had linked hands with Draco and Sirius.

Hermione could feel the body heat of all four wizards soak through her thin dress. She was surrounded with the scent of leather, parchment, citrus and amber and combined, they all seemed to fit. She realized then that this is what her Amortentia would now smell like. She inhaled deeply, her body relaxing.

Officiant Rainor waved his wand around the group and muttered some indistinct words before a tangle of silver, green, red and blue lights surrounded them and sunk into their bodies. The heat returned to Hermione as intense as before, sending flashes of arousal through her body. All four men had to help hold her up as her knees went weak.

"Congratulations, you are now all bonded." The old wizard announced, breathing slightly ragged from the magic he used. "Any questions?"

Hermione shook herself out of her daze. "Yes, I have a couple."

She heard Draco mumble "Of course you do." And she looked over her shoulder to glare at him.

"What was that vow? Iacentem cum unum?" She asked.

The old wizard chuckled. "That one isn't used in ceremonies anymore, but it was when I was a young lad. I always thought they should keep it in. That, child, is a requirement of the bond. You must share a bed with at least one of your four wizards every night."

"What? So, I can't even sleep by myself?" Hermione was shocked. But also angry at herself, she really should have pushed to be told what the bonding words were beforehand. She shut her eyes and growled "None of you better snore." Which earned her laughter.

"No, but Padfoot kicks." Remus said, squeezing Hermione's hand. She vaguely wondered how he knew, but decided she'd ask him later.

"I always felt like it kept the bond strong." Officiant Rainor explained lightly, he looked almost wistful. "Ending the day sleeping with your bound is important. And you will thank me for it later. It is a little different for you five, however. Hermione, you must sleep in bed with only one of these men every night. Not all four. The fidelity clause has also been modified with the final bonding so that none of you will be able to seek affection outside of your family group."

Hermione nodded, wanting to leave this place before they added any more clauses or amendments to this sham. She pulled her hands from Remus and Sirius. "Is that all?"

The wizard nodded and sat down in the chair next to him. "Yes. Go on. May your marriage be long and fruitful."

Hermione ushered the four men out of the room and leant against the wall next to it. She closed her eyes and just breathed, trying to calm herself. She almost couldn't believe that had all just happened.

"What now?" She asked.

"We go home, love." Remus said quietly. Hermione nodded, opened her eyes and allowed her husbands to lead her out of the ministry.

—

The sitting room at Grimmauld Place used to be filled with furniture that Hermione wouldn't have dared to sit on. To her, it looked like the antique pieces would break if someone looked at them sideways. Some also looked cursed, but half the items in the house had been cursed the first time Hermione had stayed there.

With Remus and Sirius' upgrades and changes, the sitting room was now filled with furniture that looked softer and more inviting than anything Hermione had ever remembered seeing.

A large black, overstuffed L-shaped couch took up a good portion of two walls and a fireplace which held a television above it was on the opposite wall. Soft rugs lined the carpet and what looked like an oversized coffee table stood about a foot in front of the couch. Paintings lined the bright white walls but instead of family portraits, these paintings were of beautiful landscapes.

Hermione recognized one of the portraits as the scene that was visible from the dorms in Gryffindor tower. She smiled; it was just like Sirius to have something like that hung on his wall.

"Kitten?" Sirius had walked up behind her while she was observing the room. "Why don't you sit down, and we'll have some tea?"

She nodded and allowed him to lead her to the couch. She sunk into the soft spot in the bend of the L and rested her head on the side. Sirius chuckled and pulled her legs up for her, before carefully taking the heels off her feet.

He left her then, but she was only alone for a moment before Theo sat in front of her, Draco taking the spot next to him. "You look completely exhausted." He commented.

She forced herself to nod, the softness of the couch lulling her in her sleep-deprived state.

Draco pulled out his wand and a moment later, a soft gray blanket appeared and draped over Hermione. "Thank you, Draco." She mumbled.

She snuggled into the soft, citrus scented blanket and fell asleep before she noticed the smile grace the blondes face for her use of his first name.

—

Low voices pulled Hermione from the most comfortable sleep she could remember having. She was warm, comfortable and cocooned in the scent of citrus, with hints of amber, leather and parchment coming through periodically.

She was kind of confused, until she opened her eyes and found Draco and Theo directly in her line of vision. She had stayed in the same position, her head resting on the side of the couch and her legs tucked up in front of her. She looked to her right and could see Sirius and Remus sitting on her other side.

Remus was the first one to notice she was awake and smiled at her. "Hi, love. Did you sleep well?"

Sirius looked around Remus to smile at her. "Hello, sleepy head."

Hermione smothered a yawn and nodded, "Did I sleep long?" She asked.

Remus shook his head, "Only a couple hours."

Theo tapped her knee. "You know, Hermione, this isn't the type of honeymoon I ever envisioned for myself. We get home and my wife passes out." He grinned teasingly at her.

Hermione blushed, "Not exactly the type of wedding I expect either Theo. There's three too many husbands."

The brunette nodded and smiled, "You got me there."

Draco leaned forward and put a sandwich on a napkin before handing it to her, "Now that you slept, you need to eat."

She took the sandwich and nibbled on the corner of it, her stomach not quite awake enough to eat.

"Were you all just sitting here the entire time I was sleeping?" Hermione asked, sitting up and putting her sandwich on her lap. "You didn't have to."

"We didn't want to leave you completely by yourself, kitten." Sirius said, "We didn't really know what that sleeping in the same bed vow meant. So, we just played it safe."

"That's a good point." She said, taking the cup of tea that Draco handed her. He seemed to be determined to feed her, but Hermione was still too drowsy to complain.

"We were actually just talking about what we felt during bonding." Theo said with a playful grin. "We were hoping to get your take on it."

"You wanted to know what she felt, Theo." Draco disagreed when Hermione blushed. "It's up to her if she wants to tell us."

"What if we told you what we felt?" Sirius asked. "Then you can tell us what you felt if you want to."

Hermione tried her best to remember that she not only promised but was the one that suggested complete honesty between the five of them. She nodded slowly, "Okay. I can agree with that. Only if you're comfortable."

Theo's handsome face lit up in excitement. "Oh, I'm comfortable, Hermione."

Sirius leaned around Remus so he could look Hermione straight in the face, "I'll go first since I was first in the ceremony." Hermione nodded and after he got agreement from the other three men, Sirius continued. "I felt mostly heat. Different than the initial warm feeling from the bonding itself, but I also felt safe and relieved. Like the first day I slept in my own bed after Azkaban." Hermione couldn't help the soft smile that crossed her face. Until he continued. "Then I got so turned on so fast that I thought my coc-"

Hermione thought her face was going to burst into flames until Remus cupped his hand over Sirius' mouth to keep him quiet. "I think that's enough, Padfoot. She doesn't need to know all the gory details. You could just say you were aroused."

She could see the grin on the dark-haired man around Remus' hand. He pulled the Werewolf's hand away from his face. "But where's the fun in that, Moony? Then we wouldn't get to see that lovely blush covering her face."

The younger witch wished the couch would swallow her. "Uhm, thanks for the insight, Sirius."

"Welcome, kitten."

Remus cleared his throat, "I felt mostly just more warmth but there was a rightness and comfort to the feeling. And the… um… the wolf went silent. He calmed and that never happens right before the moon." He rubbed the back of his neck, "There were also other… physical signs like Sirius mentioned."

Hermione was sure the blush on Remus' face rivaled hers. She touched his arm to hopefully show him she wasn't uncomfortable; she was just shy. She still didn't know how everything was going to work with the more intimate aspects of their relationships. Though, she was relieved that she wasn't the only one that was turned on during the ceremony.

Theo elbowed Draco. "Your turn."

That soft blush pinked Draco's pale cheeks. "I felt… warm. Like staying in bed when you know you don't need to get up."

His boyfriend elbowed him, "You didn't tell her everything."

Draco averted his eyes from Hermione. "It felt like cuddling with someone. And I was turned on."

Hermione nodded at the blonde, "Draco, I think that's a normal part of this ceremony from what I'm gathering." Hermione said to hopefully comfort him a little since all Theo was doing was teasing.

All four pairs of eyes shot to her, and she shrugged, "Yes… I felt a level of… arousal with each kiss as well."

The reactions were vastly different from each other. Theo winked, Draco bit his bottom lip as his eyes darkened, Remus growled, and Sirius smirked. She had a feeling she shouldn't have mentioned it.

"Okay, Theo… you were the most excited, so you go." Hermione tipped her chin at him.

"Gladly, beautiful." He adjusted himself to face her more fully. "It felt playful but still warm and arousing. It was a happy feeling, Hermione."

Theo looked so sweet and excited that Hermione smiled the same way she did during their kiss and took his hand. He kissed the back of her hand sweetly. "Okay, now it's your turn if you want to, of course."

Hermione nodded and closed her eyes, trying to remember the exact things she felt. "It was pretty similar to all of you." She started, opening her eyes to look at Sirius. "With you, it was a lot of heat. Intense all throughout my body." The smirk Sirius had kept on his face slowly fell and his eyes darkened.

"Remus, you reminded me of curling up with a book in front of a fireplace. It was comfortable, warm and sweet." She met Remus' eyes, seeing a little more copper than usual.

"Draco, you reminded me of cuddling in bed with someone. It was warm and comfortable but with an edge of… well, something." When Hermione looked at Draco, she kind of thought he was going to bite through his lip. He fidgeted in his seat.

She locked eyes with Theo, "It felt similar to me too, Theo. Happy. Like being at the beach in the sun. Warm and comfortable."

Hermione suddenly realized that all four men were staring at her, arousal in their gazes which caused her to flush more. She was starting to wonder if maybe the ceremony had something to do with the feelings, they all had. The words used in the ceremony were more requirements for them to follow than a spell. No magic could create love. Lust, yes… but the level of comfort and warmth she felt when it came to all four men didn't feel fabricated.

"Do you… think this is real?" Hermione asked.

"Oh, it's real." Sirius growled.

Hermione laughed and rolled her eyes. "Not what I meant, Sirius. Not the physical experiences. The warmth, the comfort… It seems so fast."

Remus hummed to himself. "Maybe a part of it. But even though there wasn't a romantic connection between most of us before, it's not like we were complete strangers."

"I think that even though this was all a shock, the fact that we're facing this head on and talking is also making us feel connected." Theo added thoughtfully.

Hermione nodded, seeing their point. "So, the ceremony just helped, is what you're saying?"

"I think that's the most likely explanation. Sirius and I have had encounters over the years that were more than just us being friends." Remus admitted, looking at Sirius who nodded. "And Draco and Theo are currently in a relationship, so those bonds are already formed. We're just extending that bond to you."

That explained the sharing of a bed comment. "I see what you mean. It's one thing to be required to marry, it's another for them to take away our ability to consent."

Theo chuckled, "I don't think you're going to have a problem with any of us consenting, beautiful."

Draco, Sirius and Remus gave varying motions of agreement.

"That being said… you run the show, Hermione." Draco said. "Again, another thing we talked about. We have so much time. We don't want you to feel pressured in any way."

"I appreciate that." She replied. She certainly wasn't ready to dive headfirst into a sexual relationship with all of them, but it was something she would have to wrap her head around.

They all seemed to unconsciously agree that this was enough serious talk for the day. Hermione was still tired after her nap and the soft blanket that Draco had summoned for her was extremely comfortable.

They ate dinner together and settled in the sitting room to watch a movie on the television. Sirius explained that they had found a way to charm it so that it actually worked. It was a clever bit of spell work that they came up with. She shouldn't have been surprised by the creators of the Marauder's Map.

As the night dwindled and the last movie came to an end, Hermione was trying to figure out who she wanted to go to bed with. She didn't want to ask. She didn't want to bring it up.

But it turned out she didn't have to.

"Kitten, did you want to sleep with Remus tonight?" Sirius asked.

Hermione looked at Remus and hummed, "Are you okay with that?" She asked.

Remus nodded, "We thought it would be better for you to stay with me tonight since I don't sleep well the night before the full moon. The full moon is on the 17th this month. Sirius is going to be with me that night, so you'll be staying with Draco and Theo."

It made sense to her, "But it's not like you guys have to take turns every night. We don't need to have a schedule."

"It's not so much a schedule, Hermione, more like we all want our turn. It's no hardship having you in our beds." Theo examined smoothly. The comments and endearments were throwing Hermione off, but she also kind of liked it.

They all walked upstairs together. Hermione was hugged by Sirius, who kissed her hair and then Theo who hugged her tightly against him. She awkwardly looked at Draco, she had such minimal physical contact with him, and she really didn't know if he just didn't like being touched.

"Ah, come on, Granger. What's a goodnight hug after a marriage ceremony." Draco forced a laugh. He was clearly nervous but pulling up that easy arrogance to make her more comfortable. He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her, tucking her against his warm chest. She thought he pressed his lips to her hair, but she wasn't sure.

"Goodnight." She said and Sirius went upstairs, Theo and Draco walked into their room, shutting the door behind them and then she was left with the sandy haired man in the hallway.

"Come on, love." Remus said, leading her into his room. He flicked his wand, and a gentle light flooded the room.

His room was neat and orderly but also kind of… bare. Besides the books in the bookshelf that was placed next to the window on the other side of the room, there really didn't seem to be anything that said that Remus even lived here.

The bed was against the back wall, tucked into a corner. The large bed was made neatly with soft looking white bedding. A nightstand sat next to the bed holding just a lamp. There was a trunk sitting at the end of the bed and a couch to the right of the door. There weren't even shoes or a forgotten piece of clothing on the floor.

Hermione felt a pang of sadness for the sweet man next to her. He was so used to moving around, he barely unpacked even though he'd been living here for over five years at this point.

She kind of wanted to hug him.

He gestured to the door on the right-hand wall. "The bathroom is there if you want to get changed."

Hermione nodded and pulled her wand out of the sleeve of her dress and summoned her beaded bag from where she forgot it downstairs.

Armed with her bag, she went to the bathroom and shut the door softly. The bathroom was clean and just as orderly as the bedroom.

She undressed slowly, taking a little extra time to bundle up her hair and carefully brushed her teeth. Standing in front of the mirror she tried to calm her breathing. She hadn't shared a bed in years, and she was a little nervous that she'd end up clinging to Remus during the night without knowing it. She rolled her eyes at herself and left the bathroom.

Remus was sitting up in the bed on the side closest to the wall. She could see he had changed while she was in the bathroom. He smiled softly at her. "I didn't know what side of the bed you usually slept on. We can switch if you'd like."

"No, that's alright. I don't mind." She took a deep breath, put her wand and bag on the side table and crawled into bed next to him.

She laid as close to the edge of the bed as she could, trying to make herself as small as possible. Just as she had stopped moving, Remus spoke.

"You're nervous."

"What?"

He tapped under his ear, "I can hear your heart, love."

Hermione chuckled nervously. "It's not you, I promise." She reassured him. "It's been a long time since I've slept in bed with someone. I just don't want to… encroach on your space."

Remus chuckled, "It's okay, Hermione. I told you, I slept in a bed with Sirius before. There's no way you're a worse bedmate than him." He laid down to get comfortable. "Can you get the lights?" He asked.

She nodded and picked up her wand to cancel the spell Remus had used. She laid back down facing away from Remus on her side.

With the room covered in darkness, Hermione relaxed. All she could hear was Remus' slow and steady breathing. She closed her eyes and focused on that sound, matching her breathing to his to shut off her brain.

It was something she had started doing when they were hunting Horcruxes. Ron and Harry could fall asleep regardless of what was happening, but Hermione struggled.

The trick was not working.

"Remus?" Hermione whispered.

"Yes, love."

"Do you think… would you mind…?" She took a deep breath.

Remus said nothing, but suddenly he shifted, and Hermione felt one strong arm wrap around her side and tug her against a warm chest. She felt Remus tuck her head under his chin and she relaxed further. As nervous as she was about contact, she needed comfort.

"Thank you, Remus."

"My pleasure, love. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Hermione fell asleep shortly after.