How are y'all doing in this never ending panorama? Somewhere in between not dying and being a mental health professional, I have carved out a tiny bit of time to do some writing. And so begins our next Clarke/Callahan story which jumps a year forward from the ending of Burning Bright. This puts us in the middle of Season 4 Chicago Fire, 3 of PD and 1 of Med. Sort of canon sort of AU, message me if you have any questions or are confused!

Chapter 1

Christmas Night 2015

Cailin didn't just want to lock the door after her brother Cullen escorted her mother down the walkway, she wanted to bar it. In reality it wasn't as bad as it could have been; thanks to work schedules and in-law years, she didn't have to host the entire Callahan family. But with Clarke drawing the short straw on his clerkship, she did have to do it without her rock beside her. She couldn't believe her husband was halfway done with medical school, even if it was an accelerated program. Of course, she also was still wrapping her head around Jeff being her husband; a year later and it still seemed like a dream.

And what a year it had been. Cally felt dizzy just thinking about it: Nadia's murder and Erin's subsequent descent into depression and relapsing, with frigging Halstead being the one to bring her back from the edge. Cally had fervently hoped her best friend and Kelly Severide would give it another go, but they were both stubborn and Severide kept getting into hot water of his own. Still though, she couldn't help but hold out hope as Jay had been conspicuously absent from Christmas dinner saying he was spending it with his brother. Of course he could have just been scared away by the Callahan clan. Even truncated, it had been a lot.

Connor and Bridget had come with their brood and her mother had been brought up by Cullen and Bruce; her mother reluctantly starting to admit the two were a couple. Coleman and Catherine were with her family, sparing Cally from having to toddler-proof her place, though it wasn't like there was anything priceless in the Clarke homestead. Colin was also working, so Anna had decided to head to her parent's house.

Cally let out a large sigh, her secondary rock letting out a husky laugh from the sofa, saying, "I hid a bottle of good wine in my purse, should I get it?"

"I thought we were friends, Erin, do you really have to ask?" Cally replied, taking in the blissful quiet of her house, punctuated only by the faint sounds of the television left on in the disaster area that would one day be a second bedroom.

"On it," she replied, deftly removing the cork, pouring two large glasses of red saying, "thanks for inviting us, well, me." Erin had greatly appreciated the offer. Normally she volunteered to work, eventually being swayed into stopping by Hank's for take-out or his feeble attempts at cooking. But he had taken a well deserved vacation with his attorney 'lady friend' and had shut down the unit. Something about him finding love again, even if he was unwilling to reveal even the most trivial of details to his team had him realizing they all had lives outside of the district.

Cally smirked, "are you kidding? I would not have survived this if you hadn't come. It gave my mother someone else to pressure about having babies, which makes me glad Gabs was working." She flopped on the gray sofa next to her friend, taking a large drink of wine, thinking about all the drama that had unfolded over at 51 this past year, with the most recent loss being that of Dawson's pregnancy. Cally wasn't sure if it was better or worse that Gabby and Matt had called off their wedding the previous summer.

Frankly, Cally was shocked she had survived Christmas without Jeff by her side without hiding in a closet chugging from a bottle of whiskey. Maybe she was growing up.

Erin laughed, "I know she is tough, but she wouldn't have stood a chance against your mother, she would have been completely tongue tied!"

Cally sniffed at the air, "almost as tongue-tied as Aiden had gotten around you. That kid is such a badge bunny!" Aiden was still stuck on wanting to be a cop, blazing through his CJ classes at community college, constantly calling or texting his aunt until she finally got him into the citizen's academy and convinced Burgess and Roman to let him do some ride-alongs. She had hoped this would be enough, but it only seemed to whet his appetite. Though after his reaction toward the gorgeous brunette Cally worked with, she was pretty sure Erin would be fielding the next round of calls from her nephew. God help him.

"I thought he was sweet," Erin shrugged, though she realized she probably shouldn't have given the kid her card, knowing he would be flashing it around all over town. Hopefully she wouldn't see him in any of the cop bars around town, she could only imagine how Cally would take it if she had to arrest a Callahan.

"Sweet on you, Lindsay, I almost wanted to start calling him Jay," Cally teased, straightening up the last of the living room, grateful that her mother and Bridget insisted on not leaving until her kitchen was spotless.

"You are evil, Callahan, next time I am going to make you face your mother alone."

Cally out her hands up defensively. "Fine, fine, I take it all back. Are we slumbering partying or are you going home?" Cally hoped her friend would stay. It had become rarer and rarer for any girl time that wasn't interrupted by chasing down a suspect or getting shot at. That and she was crashing in the living room either way, since their condo renovations were in she let her brother and Matt talk her into renovations while Jeff was in medical school and she was working all the damn time was beyond her.

Erin eyed the wine bottle, "if you really don't mind." She didn't know why she was protesting. She didn't want to go back to an empty condo. Things had been tense between her and Jay. Despite finally letting years of attraction run their natural course while she was working with the Task Force, and continuing it on the down low after she returned, he still seemed to be running hot and cold. Deciding to spend Christmas with his brother had left her less than pleased.

"Not in the least, I'm camping out here either way, so the more the merrier..." Cailin hoped she didn't sound desperate.

"How is the money pit going?" Erin couldn't help but dig.

Cally made a face."There were some plumbing setbacks. Casey got a little in over his head and, Clarke hasn't had time to fix it, and well, just don't plan on taking a shower here tomorrow is all I am going to say about that."

Erin raised her eyebrows. "Glad he is becoming a doctor instead of a plumber then. Things still going okay there?"

"Most days, I can't believe he is this far along, though I know there is still a long way to go. And there are some days that I wish Connor would have convinced him to move over to Arson Investigations, he sure was twisting his arm enough. I don't know who is better at guilt-tripping: him with Clarke and HQ or my mother with me and grandkids." Cally took a long drink of wine, refusing eye-contact with Erin so she wouldn't push the topic. She could feel the woman's hazel eyes heavy on her, knew she wanted to ask; Erin had gently prodded and nudged for information here and there. But Cally hadn't ever fully admitted the she did actually want one of her own.

Which was probably for the best considering she and Jeff had been lackadaisically trying since the 4th of July and nothing had come of it yet. In fact, they had just decided to put things on hold over the holidays; knowing that the added stress of family gatherings, holiday parties and the idiocy that seemed to always claim Chicago this time of year and make their jobs even busier wouldn't help anything.

Erin's mouth creeped up on one side, the slightest smirk as she realized she shouldn't push. It was Cailin and Jeff's business; her friend would tell her what she was willing to tell her when she was willing to tell her. "Definitely your mother, I didn't know I was going to get guilted for my what was it she called it?"

"Spiritual formation. Just be glad you and Jay aren't living together yet," Cally said with a laugh, motioning to the now empty wine bottle. "Shall I swap this bottle of wine for the full one I hid earlier?"

Erin laughed, "great minds think alike."