Hi I'm Blue, I'm imperfect, a Weird Doe, and pair annoyed... Stupid pairs, I mean pears, I mean pair?

"Hey Blue UwU!" My 'friend' calls for me (Whatever that means). Ha, imagine having friends... I can't.

"UwU, Hello, OwO. Look, look at me, notice me. Blue, Senpai!" The crew is bananas... Omigawd, I barely spelled bananas.

I glare at the annoying Orange, that's their nickname, as of now, I have decided, me I am the greatest- at overthinking every situation!

"We are literally the same age..." I held my head to the side in my hand and realize a lengthy angsty captive sigh. I'm truly a tortured soul! I was put in Heck- I mean a ship-going nowhere first... With this schmuck- and annoying Orange too.

I don't give a f**k if your name is 'Schmuck'.

"But orange you glad I didn't say banana?!" Orange's eyes widen and my headache is thriving. I'm honestly just thinking about writing poetry. I spot a pair in the distance! My ears perk up and my heart is unnecessarily doing flip-flops in my chest- if I had one. Gah why am I so stressed and tense Gaaaah! And why is there a bat on the table?!

"Heyo hey, Yellow and Green, make me angry~ Ha, just kidding, but don't spank me!" Orange half-raps and I say 'Boots and cats, and baseball bats, and man I've really lost my shat'. Where the gravy is my honorary dad cap?! Okay, it sounds better in my head before i type it out loud sometimes... Green stares onward in the distance with his terrifyingly GREEN EYES. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I am on edge for no reason. I am literally on the edge of the bunch in cafe. Back away Blue, don't make me regret that today is your birthday.

"Hey, losers, I mean schmucks, mind your own bees waxs, ya peeping toms... That right, I basically called you perverts, what are you gonna do about it, kick my a$$?!" Green crosses his arms, shaking his head, unimpressed. They are now my hero!

Yellow's outstretched hands and pleading eyes tell me that perhaps I will kick their $$'s because I'm just that kind of Wednesday-I mean bean. If this were a spelling, I'd have already would've died. I'm great at vocabulary!

"...Um, yellow, were you speaking!" At this point in my LAME STORY, I notice that Yellow has been stabbed. Omigawd, I am the shock! Blood dripping down on me, no wait blood dripping down on Green, no wait... No wait... No, I got this. Yellow falls over.

"Have a nice trip Yellow, see you back here in the next Fall!" I put on my sunglasses inside and nibble on my pizza- oh yea, I ordered a hamburger (This is crucial to my story). Wait, Yellow has pear-ished? And we are back to the real villians of a poorly written story- the pear-asols! Keep me safe from the rain will you, on this sunny space day, on a Tuesday.

Whack!

"Blue, stop thinking about how pears are the enemy, and scooby doo chase down that imposter!" I stand, gapping, eating a grape when I've ordered apple slices with my pizza (hamburger), and figure out how to deal with my humungously big schmuck IQ in the first place. Dang, I'm smart. I've already figured out that I shouldn't be the one to chase done the imposter.

"...Wait, that guy was me!" Orange looks after the running guys. We found him!

"G-guys..." Yellow wheezes, outstretched hand, on the floor, head tilted... Comma! I put the punk in rogue punctuation! Wait, what was I writing about- oh yeah, Yellow, slowly dying, on the floor-

"HEY! I'm not yet dead, please save me!" Yellow is near tears and I tremble as I lower my sunglasses. I look at Green and, I mean, I push past him. Cradling Yellow in my arms, where it's safe and warm- abra cadab' on 'em! Heck yea, still hip! I think Yellow's is broken...

"Quick Green, do we have a doctor on this ship!" I say, but I'm still thinking about OTHER THINGS. Mostly, just trying not to think... Overthinking the thinking!

"Let's try medbay!" We all leave. Hey, is anybody else on this ship alive. Because I'd ship it... Shut up, Blue, you schmuck. As we approach, the doors shut firmly in our faces. I can feel the sabo agression. Oh yea, and the lights also go out. I try to hug Green's arm but they swat me away as we gasp in terror at Purple. Wait, how can we see in the dark! Do we have nine lives now? Just out of curiosity...

"Holy, this is like the final boss battle of a video game~" Orange coos like they are crushing on evil. Maybe I am too, but good evil. At times like these, I decide to medscan. Yep, I have that task. Purple let's out a 'tsk' behind us and I stop dead I my tracks and turn around like I'm a car.

"Blue, why are you going to fake medscan right now?" Purple crosses them arms and they all thrice look on judgingly, judging me, the heck with this diplomacy. I'm a diplomat now! Flashbacks to me laughing maniacally when I transformed into Green, I mean Orange, and stabbed Yellow in the hip!

...How did they not know it was me, who's the real schmuck! I look in the mirror beside me. I'm so incredibly slick.

Am I a smooth criminal? Or am I Blue? Aba dee aba di? Yea, I probably butchered that.

Speaking of butchered meat...

"Come on man, dude, bro, Senpai, dude bro..." I ramble on and on about how I don't want to kill my friends like it's a life-or-death situation (WTF man grow a pair) And that's when I triggered myself... And not like ASMR good triggers... Yea.

My pair annoyance comes in handy when I scream 'flawless caution' to the wind and slay the wicked/Purple-Sama-Senpai dude bro. It makes you question what tf I've truly been talking about, on, this entire time. Life and love for my schmuck friends. As the blood drips down from my knife-drip drop- and my beating heart settles, and my kill cooldown meddles... I finally smile and take a breath- of FRUSTRATION. Flashbacks to being all friendly and happy with the Purple guy. Now, I say the cool one liner while cleaning off a bloody knife with a handkerchief handed to me by a terrified crewmate.

"I guess there is one less imposter Among Us!" I readjust my sunglasses over my eyes and throw them up in the air. Orange catches them and gives off a shaky, glad gasp. They hug them to their chest like a friend hugging you. I make note to ask them like that's like- to have friends I mean... I'm awesome!

"Wait, what do you mean 'one less'?!" Green is alert, but my favorite airhead intervenes- me.

"Gee, thanks mister!" Orange puts my shoulder, but I swat his hand away. We walk off into the sunset, I mean into cafeteria, where Yellow lays dead.

"Clean up in aisle caf!" I say still being awesome. A giggly Green grasps at thy attentive purposes. They slyly smirk.

"Hey Blue, spell Icup!"

"I-C-U-P!"

They snicker. I did it, I won the spelling bee... Wait a moment, there was never a spelling bee. A torment buzzing sounds enters, stings, and exits my skull- like some peeved off bee, I wronged in my current schmuck life. My dad stands up and sarcastically slow claps.

"I'm ejecting myself from the ship now!"

"No dad, I'm sorry!"

Even the ghosts join in and Purple crushes me through the door wall in repetition. Then I faint, and wake up on Mira; staring in the mira of a windowless room. There, I die from flesh wounds.

Tell my story, as soon as I find one to right.

Yea I typed 'right' I know, somehow, I think it fits. Anyway, thanks for reading if you made it to the end somewhat. I like Among Us, it's a good game. I always enjoy the shapeshifters. I am a walking spoiler so tread upon me in the most cautious of fathoms. I hope you somewhat enjoyed my ramblings.

Peace out, and stay awesome! Real talk, I never won a spelling bee...