This story is a fanfic with no intention of interacting with the original content or for profit, all characters and universe belong to George R. R. Martin. Just a way to satisfy my creativity.

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Jon Snow POV

Winterfell, 289 AD.

Slowly opening the lids of my eyes, I yawned and rubbed my hands over my face, turned my head towards the window and still saw no sign of dawn, so I thought for myself that it would be another day like any other in my life.

"My life..." so just thinking about it, I couldn't deny the feeling of a hole in me. An eight-day-old boy named after him who has a cruel lifestyle to the point of reflecting his very existence in this way. My name is Jon Snow and I live my life as the bastard of Winterfell, I try to live at least, since the world is cruel to bastards. In Winterfell, if people ignored me like air, I'd have a much better life, but that's not the reality. I have a loving father, but absent from his work, for he is the director of the north, the region with the largest size and that can equal in size of land with the many kingdoms together, but also, the poorest kingdom and the least populated, due to its cruel lifestyle, cold and hunger, not to mention beasts, plagues and bandits.

The winter that can last for years and its cruelty are dozens of times worse than the summer in the North. My Father doesn't have the luxury of spending as much time as he would like with me and my brothers, as he has to keep this kingdom running and in balance as much as possible. I grew up with my brother Robb, we were inseparable even with his mother doing everything to distance us from each other, even though I was very jealous of him for being a true Stark, I still loved him and always did my best to help him, but A bastard's reality speaks louder, after his father went to the Greyjoys' Rebellion War 2 years ago and brought a Greyjoy boy as his prisoner, Robb soon became attached to the boy and walked away from me, as the Greyjoy didn't lose time to insult my bastard status. At first, he didn't want my company anymore and that at the time made me cry whole nights asking for help and affection from a supposed mother that I didn't even know if she existed.

I could go to the father to cry, but that would only make the lady Catelyn have more hatred towards me and it would make my life even more hell, soon my heart started to harden because one of the few pillars that I would want to live a life was my brother and your change in attitude didn't help me much. A while after he walked away, he started treating me like a born below someone else, calling me a bastard and how my presence was an insult to him, as well as the Greyjoy that motivated her to act. I had my talents with the blade and for the last couple of years I had to contain them as I couldn't afford to have more retaliation on me, I was better than Robb at sword, but once you beat him in public, I would have a week of hell behind me, Lady Catelyn would do anything to wreak havoc on me this week out of revenge, just for my showing some superior talent to her eldest son, so I let Robb beat me, which ended in Lady Catelyn's comments saying that a bastard will never beat a legitimate son, of course that didn't happen when the father was close by, and Robb also followed suit saying that he is always superior to my skills as a swordsman.

My sister Sansa didn't help me much with this life either, we were very close as children, we used to play me, Robb and Sansa. Robb played the villain and I the knight who would save Sansa, who was the princess in the tower. however that didn't follow a few years later after learning bastard status wanting very much her mother's approval started to walk away and insult me soon she avoided me everywhere and didn't even look at me anymore her only words in relationship to me was how I was a stain on the family, and I shouldn't even go near her, let alone talk to her, when Lady Catelyn witnessed situations like that, I always saw her smiling.

But all was not lost, I had two people that I loved very much in this castle and one of them was my younger sister Arya, we love one another like none of my other brothers. Arya was always scolded by Lady Catelyn for our closeness, but even after the punishments, the little wolf was hot-blooded and never stopped seeing me or calling who the mother was who gave birth to me. Our father kept saying that she was unique among his children with wolf blood and claimed to be her sister, Lyanna Stark, incarnated in appearance and demeanor.

Even though Arya is only 4 years old, she has been my light in this hole for the last two years. She always ran away from the septa who trained her in the art of the ladies of the south, which was dancing, sewing, however, the little wolf fiercely denied being a lady and always ran away from her classes, I had to help a few times, and we always played hide and seek. lady Catelyn. She denied or didn't care about my bastard status and said I was the brother she loved most; she even defended me in public much to Lady Catelyn's displeasure many times.

I had another brother, Bran, I loved him too, but Sansa and Robb's change hardened my heart, and I loved no one more than Arya, but even so, I showed my affection for the Bran child whenever I got a chance, since that Lady Catelyn didn't like me around her two-year-old.

My Father was the second person I loved most in the castle, he was my guide whenever he had the chance, I always avoided talking about my situation in the castle as as the director of the north, he always had other concerns of the kingdom instead of taking care of his own. bastard child, who was tormented by his wife, and I was afraid that my complaints would make everything worse, so I suffered in silence. Of course, even though I loved him, I held a certain grudge against him, he always treated me with respect and defended me against unfair things when he was around, even giving Robb and Greyjoy harsh punishments for offending me in public when Lord Stark witnessed the behavior. of the children, but that didn't stop him from continuing with the offenses out of the Lord of Winterfell's eyes.

Sometime later, the two heirs began to get into mischief, and the consequences of these acts began to fall on my shoulders, even though I had nothing to do with what happened, as blaming a bastard child for the actions of legitimate children was as seen as something right for them and I couldn't even defend myself, even though I defend I was always seen as a liar and was accused of trying to frame the eldest son of the Starks, making Lady Catelyn show that she is right when she says, bastards are liars, treacherous and covet legitimate children, trying to take all that is rightfully theirs.

I hold a grudge against my father, because even if I'm a bastard I'm still his son and like it or not, he lets me live in this hole full of people who are against my existence and refuses to say anything about my mother, I thought several times in running away from Winterfell, I wanted to know who my mother was so I could figure out when to leave the castle, but my father always denied it and I could only cry and yearn for this supposed mother when I was cold on nights that the north reminded us that we are at the top of the mainland, and unlike my brothers, my room was not part of the hot spring heating system below the castle, in fact my room was worse than the servants', and Lady Catelyn insisted on remind me that I was not her son, my clothes were not always suitable for the cold, they were all worn and fine for a cold night, and if that wasn't just enough for the lady of Winterfell to torment me, she asked for her servants southern people put a "little" salt in my food, so my company during the nights was the cold, hunger and crying for my unknown mother. Even though I was an 8-day-old child, I had already discovered how hard life can be and I asked myself why to exist, if I had done something that deserved what I lived? and last night was no different, and just the thought of it can't help but show my frustration popping up and clenching my fists. Yesterday I was once again blamed for Robb and Theon's actions.

flashback -

They stole a servant who had just received his coins, and the motive of a northern lord's son to steal coins along with Pyke's heir. Simply diversion from danger and being able to spend money at the brothel with Theon without Lord Stark suspecting, Theon would try a prostitute and Robb would be watching and having fun with his friend, however they were caught sneaking out with the coin purse. The servant had already noticed the disappearance and desperately informed the other servants and guards who in turn went after the thief quickly, after catching them, taking Mistress Catelyn, the Mistress of Winterfell came up with a plan as it would be a scandal. The fact that Winterfell's their son stole a servant was public, and it didn't help another fact that the servant had already reported the disappearance of his coins to others in the castle, she needed a culprit now. She couldn't tolerate such behavior from Robb either, but that she would figure out later. So, she gave the order to some servants to call me when I was cleaning the stable with Hodor, I went to meet her already wondering what it could be, as soon as she entered the room, I saw the southern guards and one of Catelyn's servants looking at her. me with troubled eyes, Lady Catelyn with a scowl, Theon with a mocking smile and Robb with a look down to the ground, refusing to look me in the eye, realizing it would be another day that I said:

[-Lady Catelyn, how can I help you?] I asked in a neutral voice.

Lady Catelyn still frowning and, in a voice, full of anger and disgust screamed.

[- YOU, YOU BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THE SERVANT, IS THAT WHAT YOU RETURN AFTER THE STARKS WELCOME YOU? YOU SHOULD FREEZE OUTSIDE THE CASTLE LIKE A BASTARD SHOULD!]

I got pale in the face, she always treated me badly and insulted me, but accuse me of theft and should I freeze out of the castle? I shivered and said trying to hide my trembling voice and the tears that came from my eyes, I once again realized the reality that the world had placed on me.

[- Lady Catelyn, I don't understand, why are you accusing me of stealing a servant?]

Not changing her expression and voice, she slapped the table increasing the severity of her voice even more.

[- You evil creature, you stole a servant you just received. There is evidence of your vile deeds, you will be punished as an evil child should, everyone in this room has seen you stealing for a little while, do you deny BASTARD?]

Couldn't deny my tears anymore, who am I kidding? I already understood what was going on, even I, a child no more than 10 days old, knew I was aware of the situation and why she was doing all this, making sure her son gets away with the theft and making sure her servants are a part of the act... I raised all the dignity that is inside me, since my father taught me about honor and fighting for what is right and spoke.

[- Lady Catelyn, I was in the stable with Hodor all afternoon, he can confirm that!] I exclaimed

My voice was all shaky, there were tears running down my face. I wasn't angry, I couldn't, it was a lost situation and the only feelings an 8-day-old child in the face of the situation is fear and despair, even in the face of his innocence. Lady Catelyn mocked me and said:

[- BASTARD! ARE YOU TELLING ME HODOR IS INVOLVED IN THIS TOO?] She screamed once more.

This came as a shock to me; how would this situation lead to another innocent person's punishment? I knew Lady Catelyn had never liked Granny Nan, she despised northern culture and had managed over the years to change most of Winterfell's servants to her southern servants and followers of the seven and some of the few that were left held equal or greater respect. by Granny Nan than the Lady of Winterfell herself. Catelyn hated it, she was angry with the older woman with all her northern culture and fantasy stories, Lady Catelyn claimed it would corrupt her children and deny the true gods with fantasies of heretics. But she couldn't do anything, the father was very firm towards grandma Nan, Catelyn could never act on her, she had only to tolerate it, and me here being her scapegoat to save her son's reputation and creating an opening for act on Grandma Nan? Hodor was a one-word lad, but he was truly loyal and kind, the only word that comes out of his mouth is a speech of emotions and no one in Westeros would have that ability, how should I let someone innocent suffer the same fate as me? I was innocent but it was a lost cause, no matter how I yelled myself, I would never get out of the situation well and it would get worse, I was afraid of the direction this would take, my only alternative would be to cause as little damage as possible, I was looking at the floor thinking about all this, how could I look at someone in that humiliating state, I was wondering if I would be a happier child out of here or if my existence was really an evil and disgust for the world and the people close to me. After all these years of my father's words that taught me about honor and doing what's right? right would be telling the truth, but would that just drive the situation further, which was already all against me, a bastard denying his own theft with 5 supposed witnesses? On that day to discover that honor is worth nothing sometimes.

I lifted my head and looked into her eyes, my gaze was like, does an 8-year-old deserve such a fate? Which disconcerted her for a moment and then returned to frown, I finally opened my mouth and spoke.

[- No, Hodor is not involved in this, I lied, I stole the coins myself to buy candy in Wintertown.] I said in as neutral a voice as I could manage.

The room fell silent, as guards and the servant who knew the truth couldn't help but get a more complicated look. Robb shook his hands, he wouldn't deny it and with bitterness in his throat let his stepbrother be blamed for him, even though he knew his father would never let him go unpunished, but he let his mother handle the situation, Theon grinned wider after that, how could he not, he had the bastard to take the blame for his and Robb's actions.

Lady Catelyn had an approving look on her face and said:

[- As I said bastard, we have proof, the whole room saw you stealing, now get out, let's inform Lord Stark to see what we'll do with you, stealing usually has a lost hand as punishment.] she said mockingly.

I was startled, like everyone else in the room, how could I, as an adult woman insinuating that a child loses its hand? And like me, even Theon looked at me scared. I just ran out of the room in desperation, I ran as fast as I could, I passed everyone in the castle who wondered why the bastard had such behavior, my goal was to reach Godswood as quickly as possible, it was the only place that calmed me down. and some of the places in Winterfell that Mrs. Catelyn didn't like to be.

Alone I saw the heart tree, I walked to it, I was sure that if I could see myself now, I would see myself with a lifeless look on my face, I walked slowly, I stopped crying and with the same look, I knelt in front of the tree, and I was looking at the face in the tree, hours must have passed because when I looked away for the first time, it was already night and cold, and on a scale that I should already be sleeping, I looked once again at the tree and said to same question that I mentally asked myself since I arrived in front of the tree

"- Why do I have to go through all this?"

flashback - end

At the moment -

I began to cry silently, and in desperation I said softly:

[- Mother... Please save me from this world... please mother... *HIB* save me mother...]

This went on for hours because the sun was already in a position that indicated late morning, and it still looked lifeless, how could it not, I was afraid of losing my hand to Lady Catelyn's threat. I got out of my state when I heard a knock on the door, it was Jory. I opened it and soon I noticed her look of disgust in my direction, "so the rumor has already spread around the castle..." I thought. Jory breaking the silence said in a voice that matched his face

[- Jon SNOW, Lord Stark summons you to his manor.] He spoke

[- Yes, Chief Guard, give me 1 minute.] I said and went to put on some other clothes.

After changing clothes, I went to the manor with Jory. Me, an 8 day old being treated like a criminal? I was reputed to behave badly as I was blamed for the actions of the heirs, and I still had the rumors and gossip that said bastards had these behaviors. So my guilt was never questioned, and Mrs. Catelyn made sure witnesses to the crimes never accuse the heirs when they were caught. But the look of the servants changed, it was no longer that disdainful look from before, their eyes had anger, disgust and satisfaction for being escorted, I heard some comments and I tried hard not to cry for what I heard.

[- Did you see the bastard? stealing at that age, already showing signs of crime, who would stop her from killing Stark children in the future?] Said a voice I didn't recognize.

When I heard this, I couldn't feel the ground under my feet anymore, I was furious and desperate, "how dare I hurt my brothers?" I thought, I would never hurt Robb myself, even after what he's done, I'm disgusted with him and sorry for the path he's taking with Greyjoy, but I never saw myself wanting to hurt him, let alone kill him. Lady Catelyn fears that one day she might take Winterfell from Robb, but she never wanted Winterfell, never thought of being a lord, lord shouldn't be a privilege, it's a responsibility and a burden. I've always had a dream of being a Stark and being recognized by the world as such, had that dream from the moment I found out what the word bastard meant, but never a lord, let alone at the expense of my brothers.

Doing my best to ignore all the stares along the way, I never wished my room was near my father's manor so much as I do now, so I could walk around and pretend the world wasn't the world. Arriving, Jory entered first and soon after called me, when I entered and saw my father and Lady Catelyn both assessing me, my father with pure anger on his face and his wife with a look of disgust, a minute passed and no one spoke, then of a time my father said

[-Jory, escort Lady Stark to her room, please.] He said

[- Ned, I remember asking to stay.] she replied, not happy with the turn of the situation.

[- Catelyn this is about my son, now if you'll excuse us...] he said, unable to hide all the disappointment in his voice at the situation.

[- Ned, this is too far, I hope you act like I said.] She said angrily and started to walk towards the door, but she didn't stop enjoying my existence in her form before leaving.

[- AND YOU BASTARD, YOU BETTER NOT GET CLOSER TO ARYA AND BRAN, YOU ARE A THREAT TO OUR FAMILY!] She screamed

I couldn't think of anything and just had a blank stare, I was being destroyed all the time and from every direction, I wondered if there was any god, and I wanted to ask if my existence could be better than making the people in my life look disdainful. back, I knew I was innocent, but the psychological abuse of it all was getting to me.

[- GET OUT OF HERE NOW CATELYN! DO YOU NEVER DARE TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT AGAIN IN FRONT OF ME!] he yelled in a tone I'd never heard from my father before, it scared me, I've seen him disappointed in me whose antics by Theon and Robb resulted in me being the culprit, but never I heard not even half the voice I heard now, my father was so angry that no one in the castle must have ever seen him in such a state.

Catelyn went white in the face with my father's anger, she started crying and left the room, and after Jory closed the door. I looked at my father, not lowering his voice he started to say.

[- JON WHAT HAPPENED? WHY DID YOU REVOLVE TO STEAL A SERVANT? I WANT YOU TO EXPLAIN TO ME, WHY I DIDN'T RAISE A CHILD TO BE A THIEF!] He thundered and I flinched.

I always had a dream of being a proud Stark and being recognized as someone who brought or brings pride to his brother and father, maybe his mother one day find out who she was, but the reality is different, once a boy who dreamed of being a Stark once, but now, the same boy being treated as the shame of the family.

So, I could cry, not meeting my father's gaze, as I should? I wanted to tell my father the truth, I wanted his father to know he wasn't a disappointment, but how could he? the world was against him, nothing he said could help him, all the servants would testify against him, and he no longer has a very precarious reputation in the castle. He could only say:

[-I'm sorry...*HIB*..ep Father...*HIB*.] I was crying, I couldn't alleviate the situation, nor tell the truth, imagine the bastard accusing the real son of being the real thief, he would be killed or thrown into a dungeon for the face of life, he feared just thinking about it. He could then try to minimize as much as possible so as not to put Hodor in the same situation as well.

[- Dad...*HICCUP*...I stole the money to buy candy, I'm sorry, I ran out of the stable when Hodor wasn't looking, *Hiccup* Hodor has nothing to do with it, don't blame him.. .*HIB* I'm leaving father... I won't be a disgrace to your marriage anymore... *HIB* and a disappointment to your family... I'm leaving...*HIBBLE*]

Eddard Stark POV

Winterfell, 289 AD, at the same time.

Me hearing these words, I went pale at the time, a child saying such words... how could someone with 8 days worth of names survive outside the castle walls? the world wouldn't be the world with such things if that were possible... his face of anger before passing an expression of concern and beginning of despair. How could it not? His beloved nephew/son did something he never thought he could do, Jon wasn't bred for it and even though in the last couple of years with the strange change in more rebellious behavior that got into trouble and he had to lecture him once in a while, but this I found normal due to the distance from his cousin/older brother, as much as I talked to Robb to stay together with his brother, who was also a wolf even though he had bastard status, I never managed to my firstborn to reconnect with Jon. Once in my attempts Robb told me that Jon didn't deserve to be by his side for being a bastard, of course it was an unforgettable day for my heir and I made sure the punishment was memorable, he never spoke of Jon's status anymore in front of me after that, but he didn't take the advice to approach his brother again, so I could only sigh at the situation.

And now I look at the boy in front of him, wondering where I went wrong in raising him for him to behave the way he did, but now he's saying he wants to leave. I thought about my sister, the sister I loved and now all that's left of her is this child I love as my own child, and I let it get to this situation, I changed my tone of anger in my voice to one of concern and said:

[- Jon... I...] I said slowly trying to find a solution to the situation, but little 8 day old Jon interrupted me.

[- Father before that, can you tell me about my mother?!] Jon fired off leaving Ned a chance to speak, he was desperate, planning to leave and try to live somewhere different outside the castle, he doesn't want to be evil anymore of what is already inside the castle and his family, now with this situation, he couldn't stay anymore, he needs to leave.

[-*HIBBLE* I need some direction in my life right now, *HIB* I need to find it.] Jon kept saying while crying and sobbing.

[- Jon... I'm sorry...] I said it carefully with my heart breaking every word of the boy he raised since he was a baby.

[- PLEASE FATHER!] Jon cut his father again and looked for the first time in his eyes.

[- I can't my son...] I finally spoke full of pain and Jon caught it, he asked one more question with a trembling voice and as he began to spurt more tears from his eyes.

[- Is she dead...?] Jon asked me in the hope that I could tell him that she was alive since I always avoided talking about her at all costs, as Lya's memories brought me so much pain.

[-Yes son... She died a long time ago, but she always said that she loved you more than anything.] I choked to say those words, I couldn't even look at Jon

When I realized the silence that settled in the room, I looked up at Jon, and I ended up seeing one of the most remarkable things in my life... an eight-day-old boy of his name, leaving his tears streaming in his eyes, but in his eyes. eyes, those eyes, showed something that I will never forget in life, a lifeless look.

The boy passed out afterwards, I stood there transfixed at the sight of a few moments ago, how it shouldn't, how the child who was the son of his beloved sister came to show a look of how all the hope of his world collapsed, it was as if he no longer had the will to live, "what kind of life did he live under my roof to get to this? this isn't right! There was something going on here and I have to find out", I ran to Jon on the floor right after I left the room. my stunned state had taken root the moment the boy fell to the ground, when I got to his side, I lifted him up to see if he was hurt in the fall, but luckily his body was fine, however, I feared his psychological state now. I didn't have much time to think about it, as the door opened, it was Master Luwin who entered without knocking with a face that showed that something had happened. Ned knew if he asked what happened, the master was scared with Jon passed out in Lord Stark's lap and then spoke.

[- Lord Stark, what was wrong with the boy? Came here as his wife got sick and was taken to the infirmary, she is fine, however she has something to say to you in person.] He finished with a solemn expression, but then looked at Jon with concern. Ned took this and had a thousand ideas of what he hears, by Master Luwin's expression, it would definitely be something Ned would be happy about.

What would make a man happy after his wife passed out and went to the infirmary? a son! your fifth child! but at the same time he was worried about Jon's situation, and looked at the boy, his face even unconscious didn't cover his feelings and the voice ringing in his mind didn't help much "Promise me Ned! lo... NED promise me... my son...",

Need to see what's happening on his own roof later, to see what caused this child to fall into this state, Jon was full of lifelong trauma, he knew it with that child's gaze. If Jon behaved like an angry child to the point of stealing, he could understand, it would make him furious, but Ned would make Jon learn from his mistakes and correct his behaviors.

However, there were more things he wanted to find out about Jon, I knew that what I saw in the child's face today would haunt me for the rest of my life. I thought of a radical solution to find out what's going on in my own house, even if I have to execute someone if I find someone plotting against Jon, I turned the child over to the master and gave my boy one last look, "I hope I'm right with these actions I'm going to take...", I thought

Master Luwin noticed this but remained silent, a few moments later I asked Luwin to take Jon to his room and went to the infirmary, I wanted to be happy to have the news of his fifth son now.