He lay on his new and very much dusty bed, staring at the picture of his uncle and holding back the tears that threatened to overtake him. "I wonder if you would be proud of me joining the Avatar. That's what all of those lessons were about, right? About looking inward to find my own destiny, asking the bigger questions, taming the turmoil of my great Grandfathers' dispute to finally find peace. I really hope I'm right for once. I don't want to let you down…again."
A loud knock on his door frame startled him from his rambling thoughts and he sat upright, his body automatically bracing for an oncoming attack. "Calm down Sparky, you're gonna give yourself a heart attack." The little earthbender lazily looked at him with unseeing eyes and he briefly wondered how she'd known his heartrate had quickened. "Dinner's about ready. I wouldn't be late if I were you, Sweetness is already in a bad mood." With that, she turned to leave and realizing he hadn't yet moved, turned her head to beckon him to follow. He set down the picture of his Uncle and, with a sigh, got up to meet her in the hallway where she stood waiting.
When they got to the courtyard, his nervous eyes quickly scanned the group. The knot in his stomach tightened as he noted the additional unfamiliar faces surrounding the fire. "Great, more people to convince that I'm not evil", he thought miserably. Who were these young men anyway? They eyed him with suspicion and thinly concealed dislike. The smallest boy with a rather large helmet leaned close to whisper to the oldest boy wearing a green head band an a very thin mustache. The larger (earthbender?) nodded and frowned in response, not taking his eyes from Zuko for a moment. Zuko gave a weak smile to the three of them as Toph ordered him to take the seat next to her.
In any other situation, he would be very offended and defiant of her commanding attitude, but he felt almost relieved at her behavior. He was a prince after all! He shouldn't be directed around by a 12-year-old girl! But he knew he wasn't in a position to reject any semblance of kindness, no matter how demanding it was.
"So, Sparky, what was that picture of that you were looking at earlier?" Toph turned her head slightly in his direction. "Oh, um…it was…my Uncle", he said a bit more quietly then he'd intended.
"Oh. I met him once, on a road in the Earth Kingdom. He made me tea and gave me some really good advice." She responded, trying to get him to open up a bit.
"Yeah, that sounds like Uncle Iroh alright." Sadness crept into his voice as he dropped his gaze to his hands on his lap.
"So, if you're here, where is he? I thought you guys traveled together?" Her question was blunt, but he suspected that she hadn't meant to offend him.
"I…I don't know." The words stuck in his throat and the surge of guilt almost overtook him. The little earthbender must have noticed the change in his voice because she promptly ended her questioning; allowing him time to collect his thoughts and regroup.
Katara started ladling out stew into bowls and everyone started making their way over to claim their meal. Seeing that Zuko was hesitating, Aang grabbed two bowls and handed one to the very obviously uncomfortable firebender. Taking a seat next to him, Aang asked cheerily, "So, Zuko, how do you like the temple so far?"
Caught off guard, Zuko weakly answered "it's nice." And after realizing that the younger boy was waiting for a more complete answer, "…I've actually been here before." 'Ah! Stupid! Why would I bring that up to the Avatar!' he mentally reprimanded himself.
"Oh, when did you come here before?" Aang asked, a bit shocked but eyes hopeful.
"…uh, well…when I was ban…um, traveling…this…was the first place I went…to…to…well…" he trailed off, looking down at his stew.
"To hunt down the Avatar." Katara angrily finished for him. He felt her glare. He sheepishly raised his head and found that nearly everyone had joined her with varying degrees of hatred burning in their eyes. He looked down at the bowl in his lap again, hoping somehow, he'd find the right words buried in it. 'What would Uncle say?!' He thought frantically. 'I'm sure everyone will feel much better after a bowl of noodles!' No, that won't work.
"Well, you found me!" The Avatar…Aang, laughed loudly as he elbowed Zuko's arm. "And now you can teach me how to fire bend! We just need to find the right place in the temple, then we can start training!" Zuko felt a wave of gratitude towards the younger boy as everyone returned to their dinner. Here he was defending him from the rest of the group only hours after allowing him to join them. Him, the enemy, the one who'd hunted him down for months trying to bring him back to the most evil person he'd ever known.
He sighed and looked across the fire to see the water tribesman practically inhaling his food. Zuko fought hard to control the shock that was creeping onto his face. Did the boy have any sense of decency? He quickly looked away; he didn't want the boy's sister to catch him staring at her brother with a look of disgust.
"There's a big courtyard downstairs that I found yesterday. It's pretty secluded. That might be a good place for you to practice." The boy in the wheelchair offered timidly. Apparently, Aang's open acceptance of Zuko seemed to have put at least one member of the group slightly at ease.
"Great! Thanks Tao! We'll head there first thing in the morning!" Aang exclaimed, clearly excited at the boy's ('Tao…have to remember that!') attempt to join the conversation with Zuko.
"I don't think that's a good idea Aang. We should give Zuko some time to…settle in…before jumping right into teaching. Besides, Toph was already planning on having you practice your earthbending tomorrow." Katara stated in a tone that left no room for debate. Zuko thought it was obvious that she didn't care so much about him getting comfortable but that she wanted to observe him for a few days before allowing him to be alone with Aang.
"And don't expect me to go easy on you because we almost died today Twinkletoes." Toph threatened as she punched her own hand. Remembering the fight with Combustion Man, Katara sighed angrily and shot another glare at Zuko.
Aang pretended he hadn't heard either of them. "Awe…well I guess we can start in a few days then. Does that sound ok Zuko?" He sounded a bit dejected yet determined to keep Zuko in conversation.
"Yeah, I mean, whatever works for you guys." Zuko shrugged meekly, trying his best not to sound phased by Katara's statements. Somehow, this seemed to have angered the waterbender as she and the older earthbender glared even harder at him. It appeared that he was firmly planted on Katara's side and would distrust the firebender if she did. Zuko made a mental note to steer clear of the two of them for a while, if only to keep the relative peace.
"Are you going to finish that?" Zuko started as he realized the water tribesman was talking to him. Looking down at his untouched stew, he decided he wasn't at all hungry and handed the bowl over to the seemingly insatiable boy. "No…um, you…you can have the rest…if you want…"
"Thank you very much, Prince Charming!" Sokka chided, taking the bowl with an exaggerated bow and a wink. There were a few suppressed giggles from the group at Sokka's display. Zuko wasn't sure what to make of that but he decided it seemed friendly enough and attempted a small albeit awkward grin.
"And because everyone else seems to have forgotten their manners, Zuko, this is Tao, Haru, and The Duke. Guys, this is Zuko." Sokka added with a feigned air of elegance, waving his free arm to present the three new faces to Zuko.
"Oh…um…it's, ah…nice to meet you all." Zuko said awkwardly, offering them the Fire Nation gesture of respect and a small bow that felt very strange from his cross-legged sitting position. The Duke flushed and ducked down a bit, Haru gave an almost unnoticeable nod of recognition along with his glare, while Tao smiled weakly, and giving the Earth Kingdom hand gesture of respect said "it's nice to meet you too".
As they finished their dinner, they each put their bowls in a great wash basin. "Would…um, would you like help?" Zuko offered as Katara walked past him to the basin to start cleaning.
"I can handle dishes myself." She snapped over her shoulder, not bothering to look at him as she passed, anger seething in every word. He did his best to hide the wince that he felt on his face. What could he do to appease her?
He let his gaze fall on the fire, watching the flames dance wild and free. It had a strange way of comforting and mesmerizing him. He stared into the fire for a few minutes, feeling its warmth embolden his inner fire and allowing it to sooth his nerves. Soon, he felt as if he was being watched and looked up to find Haru and the Duke staring at him intently. Haru's hands were twisted into fists and his jaw was tightly clenched. The Duke's brows were furrowed, and he seemed to draw nearer to the older earthbender as if to hide behind him. Were they expecting him to use the bonfire to attack them all? Zuko thought that he couldn't really blame them after all that his family has put the other nations through.
Deciding it best to give them a break from their discomfort, he quietly said, "well, I think I'll go to bed then…goodnight…and um, thank you…for dinner" and headed back to his room. Tao nodded and gave him a small wave. "Have a good rest Zuko!" Aang called, waving excitedly. "Don't let the badgerbugs bite." Sokka chided with a smirk. "Night Sparky." Toph added.
'Well, that could have been worse I guess.' He thought as he sat on his bed, drawing his knees up to his chest. He picked up the picture of his Uncle. 'I really wish you were here; you'd know what to say to them'.
"Wake up Prince Zuko, you're late. You must fight to regain your honor." His Father's cold, malicious voice rang in his ears. He looked up to see the Fire Lord himself standing above him, fist set ablaze, muscles flexed and ready to strike. "You will learn respect. And suffering will be your teacher." The white-hot pain seared through the left side of his face; he felt his body thrash, but he couldn't escape his Father's grasp. Tears started pouring as he heard himself begging for it to stop.
He woke with a gasp, sitting straight up, panting and sweating. It was just a nightmare…this time. He tried to calm himself, looking around to make out his surroundings. The room was unfamiliar. Slowly it all started coming back to him. He was in the Western Air Temple, he had joined the Avatar, he was doing what was right. His breathing calmed slightly, and he decided he needed fresh air as the room was dusty with a hundred years of neglect.
Quietly, he made his way out to the courtyard where the fire was just a smoldering pile of embers. He sat down near it as he shivered slightly in the cool night air. Even as dying embers, the fire drew his complete attention, and he felt his heart beating slower and slower…until a mass of fur brushed against his back. Nearly jumping out of his skin, he whipped his head around to see the Avatar's bison settling himself against his back with a gentle grunt. It slowly curved its massive head around to rub its cheek against Zuko's shoulder in an affectionate way. Not knowing what the appropriate thing to do, he awkwardly pet the bison's cheek and said a quiet "thank you".
"Appa really seems to like you a lot Zuko." Aang's hushed yet cheerful voice came from the courtyards entrance. "Couldn't sleep either huh?" He asked the older firebender as he sat next to him, resting his back against his giant, furry friend.
"Oh, uh…no, I have…trouble sleeping…Sometimes!" Zuko added, not wanting his new ally to think he was weak for how often the nightmares actually kept him from sleep. "Did…did I wake you? I tried to be quiet." He asked the young airbender in an apologetic tone.
"No, no, not at all! It's just been a really big day! Lots of changes and things to think about. I couldn't turn my mind off, you know?" Aang reassured his new companion.
"Yeah, I guess it has been. I'm sorry." Zuko felt a fresh wave of guilt. "…sorry for what?" Aang asked, looking genuinely surprised. 'Chasing you around the world, siding with my sister at Ba Sing Se, letting you be nearly killed, for what my great Grandfather did to your people, for what my Father is doing to the world, for being alive, for everything!' Zuko's thoughts spiraled, unable to place which direction this particular surge of guilt was coming from.
"Your group. Everyone seems to be…on edge because I joined you. I'm sorry for upsetting the peace. I just…I just want to do the right thing." Zuko settled on his most recent offense.
"Hey, Zuko, it's ok! They'll warm up to you, they just need a little time! Once they get to know you, the real you, they'll calm down. I mean, Appa likes you now! And he was there back when you were chasing us!" Aang decided to change directions when he saw the disbelieving look on the older boy's face. "How did you find him, anyway? In Ba Sing Se I mean?"
Zuko's face softened as he was able to relive the good deed from his past. "Well, I was in the lower ring outside the tea shop me and Uncle were working at when one of your flyers drifted down in front of me." He tried to begin but Aang couldn't contain himself.
"Wait! You worked in the lower ring? That place looked a bit, I don't know, dangerous!" He looked up at Zuko with obvious concern in his large, grey eyes.
"Yeah, well…that's where they put the refugees and we weren't really in a position to argue, you know?" He said in a mildly frustrated tone, shrugging for good measure.
"Wait, why were you refugees? You're the Fire Prince and the Dragon of the West!" Aang asked, even more concerned now that he was really thinking about it. Zuko sighed and looked away into the dying fire.
"Well…after the North…my Uncle was called a traitor for helping the Moon Spirit. And my Father…considered me…he considered me a failure, for not catching…you. He sent Azula to bring us back to the Fire Nation as prisoners." He really did not want to burden the boy with his problems, but he wanted to be open and honest with him. He tried to sound as unaffected as possible, like it wasn't really important. He wouldn't admit that voicing these things was like turning a knife stuck in his side.
He dared a sideways glance at the Avatar, only to find him staring back with a look of horror mixed with guilt and sorrow. He didn't want pity, he just wanted to do good now! Desperate to steer the conversation away from that particular subject, he looked back to the fire and continued his story.
"Anyway, I put on the Blue Spirit mask and kidnapped a Dai Li agent with my dao swords. He took me right to Lake Loagai and…"
Again, Aang couldn't contain his excitement. "You Kidnapped a Dai Li Agent?! Without bending?! That's Amazing Zuko!" He felt a slight blush in his cheeks at the enthusiastic complement from the Avatar.
"Oh, um thank you…Aang." He cleared his throat and resumed. "I found him in this large room, chained to the floor. To be honest Aang…I…I didn't go there to set him free. If my Uncle hadn't followed me and talked sense to me…I don't know. But I ended up making the right choice…the first in a long time. When we got back to our apartment…well, my body went into shock from doing good for once! I didn't know that could even happen…" He trailed off; staring down at his hands, not wanting to look at Aang for fear of the judgement he was sure would be on the young man's face.
"Thank you Zuko." Aang's voice was forcefully sincere. Zuko's head snapped up and he met the Avatars eyes. "Seriously, thank you. You might not have gone down there with the right intentions, but you did the right thing. You saved Appa! And then he saved us from the Dai Li! I owe you one Zuko."
Zuko had to look away to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. How could the boy forgive so easily? "Uh, well, let's just consider that one on the house. I mean, I've got a lot to make up for!"
Aang laughed loudly and bumped his shoulder against Zuko's. "You got it, Sifu Hotman! Well, I'm off to bed now! Gotta be on my A game for Sifu Toph tomorrow! Good night Zuko."
"Goodnight Aang." He said with a small, confused smile. Did that kid really just call him Sifu Hotman?
"Oh and Zuko? I'm really glad you're here now, you know, with us." He gave the prince a wide smile and disappeared down the hallway. Zuko couldn't help the smile or the feeling of hope welling up in his chest. 'Maybe things will get better after all.'