Hello all! I hope everyone enjoys :) Please see the notes below!

1. Seiya is female, which makes this story a shoujo-ai.

2. Even though this story takes place twelve years after the last episode, the setting is in the present. Trying to recall life back in 2009 would take my whole lifetime. The best things I can remember are Ayumi Hamasaki's NEXT LEVEL album and that I had a sweet BlackBerry Pearl.

3. This story contains subjects of anxiety and depression. I will post warnings on the chapters which explicitly reference them. Please read at your own discretion.

4. There will also be explicit adult content of sexual situations, however, I will edit those out on this particular platform. To read the version unedited, please see this same story on AO3 under the same work title and account name.

Please look out for song references in the notes for each chapter if that's something you enjoy! :) For this chapter, it is "Bedroom Wall" by BANKS

Bedroom Wall (prlg)

The olive trees, which used to stand tall and emit a fragrance so sweet, now stood bare without their fruit. The roads, which had paved paths between lively destinations, now were lined with lifeless bodies. The city, which once resonated growth and grandeur, was now silent.

When she used to feel the grass underneath, she now felt rubble; when she used to see the beauty of the city, she now saw destruction; when she used to feel hope, she now felt despair. Everything she would equate with her planet, her palace, her princess…

Was gone.

And the smell... oh god, the smell. Sailor Star Fighter lifted the back of her hand to cover her nose, staring with dark eyes so horrified while stepping over the rotting corpses. Some looked to be peacefully sleeping while others took their last breath in agony. Since the return of all the star seeds in the universe, she now witnessed that what she destroyed during those early days were not monsters…

But were men, women… and children.

All four of them had split up, wandering around to different sides of the Kinmokian palace. Each overwhelmed with disbelief at the desolation, they all parted in silent understanding. The exterior looked relatively intact with only a few damages—windows broken, doors smashed in, and a hole in the roof on the south side outlined in soot. At least it was still standing.

Fighter continued her solo exploration into the palace, gravitating toward the soldiers' quarters at the west end. The clicks of her heels echoed against the high ceilings and barren walls before she walked through a door and into a crumbling and ransacked room. There was a gaping hole where a balcony once hung, providing a view of the leveled capital. The room used to belong to her, and like her heart and life, much of it had to be rebuilt and restored…

"I knew I'd find you here."

Fighter turned around to the crimson-clad Princess Kakyuu standing in the open doorway and feigned a small smile before turning back around to look outward.

"Yeah, I just kind of wandered in here."

Kakyuu beamed and strode into the room, stopping once she was close to her Starlight. She resumed talking to the back of her head.

"I'm glad everyone is okay. Kikyo stayed behind and tended to the wounded and displaced all this time. Thank goodness. I don't think we would have been welcomed so warmly if all of us left like Papa wanted us to."

Fighter nodded. Kakyuu's older sister was always quite the humanitarian of the family, possessing the softest heart for the underprivileged and unfortunate. But who could blame the king for wanting all of his kids to be safe? At that point, he was not thinking in terms of a royal, but of a father who wanted to protect his children.

Kakyuu began to feel weary because her protector had not yet turned to face her. "And now we get to start all over. Things will be better than before."

Fighter's eyes strayed from the natural landscape ahead to that of the sparkly one in the evening sky, immediately noticing that planet. It was one she used to forget about and overlook. Granted, it was tiny and blended in with the rest of the stars and planets around it, but today it seemed different than what she remembered—it looked so brilliant, surrounded by a protective aura that was so bright and beautiful, never to be ignored again. She never realized she would eventually know its name and visit that minuscule speck millions of miles away. She never knew it would be the place where the fate of the universe would be held, and that she would have a part in saving it. She never intended to get to know some of its inhabitants…

Odango…

"And we'll get to be together again," Kakyuu continued.

Soon Fighter felt arms encircle her bare waist as a cheek laid between her shoulder blades, stiffening at the touch. She placed her hands over Kakyuu's, although, it wasn't to welcome the affection. She had to close her eyes to work up the courage for the conversation she needed to have.

"Princess, I have to ask you something."

She giggled. "Why are you calling me 'Princess?' You don't have to say it when no one's around."

The Starlight clenched her jaw and kept her gaze at the horizon, ignoring the suggestion. "I wish to keep Seiya as a civilian identity."

Again, the princess was humored. "Why would you want to do that?"

"I just… need to." What was she doing? Why? She knew if she kept up with Seiya, the pain would definitely not go away, the memories would definitely not fade. While sometimes she wished there was a way to erase her experience, she concurrently couldn't fathom forgetting about everything. And while she never considered herself a masochist, she wanted to punish herself for falling in love… and at the same time, falling out of it.

"Don't tell me you want to keep that male disguise, too." Kakyuu teased.

Fighter couldn't bring herself to share in the lightheartedness. "No. I would just... like to be able to have an identity. A way to take a mental break from my duties, perhaps."

She nuzzled the Starlight's hair at the nape of her neck, her soft breath sending tingles through her body. "Well, okay. If it makes you happy."

"Princess," Fighter wedged herself out of Kakyuu's embrace to face her with eyes on edge. "Someone could see us."

Red lips sounded a scoff. "It's okay, there's no one here."

She shook her head. "We shouldn't risk it… They've been through so much already."

Tears threatened to spill as Kakyuu put a hand to her mouth to contain the sobs if they were to come. "Don't tell me it's true."

"What do you mean?"

She looked down while she fidgeted with her bell sleeves, taking a few moments to construct a coherent answer. "At first I thought Maker was misguided when she told me you took a liking for Sailor Moon..."

Fighter faintly hissed in a breath. It stung to hear her name, even if it was only her soldier title.

Kakyuu kept on. "I mean, you were down there for a while before I showed myself. It never crossed my mind for you to be stolen away. I thought we were so strong." A few silent tears descended her cheeks, as she waited for the guardian to deny everything and take her up in her arms... for things to resume to the way they were.

And yet, she was kept waiting.

"Princess, I'm sorry." Fighter sighed with glistening eyes.

"But you know the legend. She's destined for someone else!"

The guardian's throat and chest tightened. The legend, while its origins lay in the Milky Way, echoed throughout all corners of the universe for thousands of years. The romantic story of a princess and a prince and a doomed love from the past fated to be reborn with a destiny to endure forever. Many thought it was all folklore and fairytales; it happened so far away and so long ago. Before that day when Fighter met the Serenity Princess incarnate, it used to be her favorite childhood story and she dreamed of one day being that princess fated to meet her prince...

She never thought in a million years that, conversely, she would end up wanting to steal that princess away.

"Please. This isn't easy for me—"

"You think it's easy for me? After all we've been through? After all you promised?" The princess fought to maintain her composure. Within her attempts to keep from screaming, her voice trembled with every word.

She was right, though, their mutual attraction used to be palpable. It didn't take long for Fighter and Kakyuu to find some spare time and secret places, and it was still fresh in the guardian's mind of all that went on and all that was said. At the time, she meant every word and relished in the inappropriateness of it all. Her thoughts were conquered by her and her alone.

But now her thoughts crowned a different princess to rule them.

Fighter closed her eyes, sensing them becoming hot with the onset of apologetic and exhaustive tears. "No… it's just… I… I'm just really confused right now. And it's just not fair to you—"

"I can't believe this," Kakyuu buried her face in her hands. The composure had crumbled. "This is my fault. I shouldn't have waited so long to show myself."

"It's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself."

Kakyuu sniffled, cleansing her face of the remnants of her salty discharge with her fingers, and said nothing. Fighter feared what was going through her mind—as sweet as she was, those wordless moments were the most dangerous. But then Kakyuu looked up, smiling in defiance through the tears.

"That's okay. I'll wait for you. I'll wait as long as it takes." She stepped closer to her former lover and gingerly grabbed her face to plant a heavy kiss on her lips, lingering for several moments to ensure Fighter would be able to taste her for one last time.

The guardian then watched the princess glide out of the room, never looking back. As horrible as she felt, she couldn't deny she had a weight lifted from her shoulders. But it still killed her to see the princess cry and plead to understand her pain, because she could all too well relate, which was the tragic irony of it all. Fighter could only wonder if Usagi felt just as tormented.

But why would she? Her boyfriend was back, she had her friends, her destiny, her happiness... there was no room for anything else. How could Fighter ever fit into her life? How could she ever manage to make Usagi as happy as what she already had? No, it could never be; she belonged here on this shattered planet with these shattered people. How could she even hope there was a place for her even as a friend?

Fuck that word.