What doesn't kill you

"Jesus."

Vic closed her eyes and squeezed her thumb and forefinger around the bridge of her nose. There was a low grade headache threatening to explode into a larger one. The tense set of her shoulders wasn't helping.

She wasn't good at these things. She never had been. Sure, she could out talk anyone. She could debate until she was blue in the face. Her mouth had gotten her in trouble more times than she would ever be able to count.

But, it was the intimate conversation with certain people that she struggled with. Her parents certainly fell into that category. For different reasons. She wanted to believe that her father tried. He loved her and she knew it. It was just that his version of love felt more like control to her. He was a man who was accustomed to being in charge. A daughter who challenged every command he ever gave her baffled him.

Her mother was a different story altogether. While her mother was less likely to overreact to news from Vic, there was a disconnect that always bothered her. While her friends from childhood and even her teenage years may have fought with their mothers, there was always a closeness that Vic could admit to being jealous of. It was something Vic never had with her mother. The easiest route was to simply pretend that she didn't care. That wasn't true in the beginning. Over time, it did seem to become a self fulfilling prophecy.

When she called home, she mostly talked to her father. While they didn't always see eye to eye, she felt that he was more interested in her life than her mother was. Both of her parents would deny that. They would claim that they didn't have favorites.

Vic and all four of her brothers knew better.

But, this wasn't just any call home.

That set up a debate in her mind as to which parent she should actually talk to.

Her mother's aloofness was always frustrating. Her father made his dislike of Walt clear.

In the end, none of that mattered. Her parents still had a landline. Of course. So, when she called and told them there was something she needed to tell them, they both got on the line. Two for the price of one. Vic reminded herself that she was half a country away and could actually hang up the phone if the discussion got too hot.

She really didn't even want to do this. But, it seemed unfair to both Walt and her family. Everyone in Walt's life knew. That was to say…everyone in Durant who they both knew. Dragging her feet about telling her family seemed to send the wrong message. Walt assured her that it didn't bother him. She didn't believe him.

At some point, her family not knowing would become burdensome and complicated. Better to tell them while she was safely in Wyoming. That was her theory.

So, when she dropped the news in a "Walt and I are together" sentence, she was met immediately after with silence on the other end of the phone.

She knew her father would be the first to respond. He didn't disappoint.

"You're what?"

His reply was terse and not really a question. He heard her.

Vic was sitting outside the cabin on the steps. Walt had offered to go outside and give her privacy. But, she opted to step out. The wide open spaces would go far in not making her feel claustrophobic when her parents closed in on her. It was nice out and she sat with her feet on the steps below her, slightly bent over.

"You're not serious."

Victor Moretti recovered from the news as she knew he would.

"I am serious, dad."

"Damn it, Vic. What are you thinking?"

She felt herself bristle at his insinuation that she, once again, was making a bad choice.

"Victor."

She heard her mother's voice off to one side. Her father was dominating the phone.

"I'm thinking that I should get to be happy."

"Happy?"

He spit out the word.

"Vic, that man nearly got you killed."

Vic closed her eyes.

"Jesus."

She took a breath in an attempt to keep her temper reeled in.

"You got to stop saying that, dad. It's not true."

There was a sound like maybe the phone had moved.

"Victoria, how long has this been going on?"

Her mother was the only person in her life who called her by her full name. Sometimes, Vic suspected she did it in order to be annoying.

"A…a while."

She heard her father huff under his breath.

"How long is a while?"

Getting into the finer details of her personal life with her parents was not something she enjoyed. There was also no reason to stoke a new fire.

"I wasn't still married if that's what you're getting at."

Not like Lena Moretti had any room to talk in that department.

"I wasn't."

Vic wasn't entirely sure she believed her mother. She was grateful for the slight reprieve from her father no matter how brief it might be.

"Vic… you can't be serious about this."

Vic sighed.

"I am serious, dad. We…are serious."

That would be the last thing that he wanted to hear.

"You should have come home with me."

"No, I shouldn't have. This…is where I want to be right now. Coming back to Philly won't solve anything. Why can't you see that? Why can't you trust me to live my own life?"

"Because you make choices like this one."

"I'm gonna hang up."

She tossed out the warning and her mother intervened again.

"Victoria, don't. Your father is only worried about you."

"Worried about what? That I have a job I'm good at? That I have built a life for myself by myself? That I'm in a relationship with someone who's not a loser? Which part should he be worried about?"

"Vic…"

She was gaining too much traction to stop now.

"No, listen to me. I have been through a lot. And, Walt has been there for me when no one else was."

"So, this is out of gratitude."

"Oh my God, dad! No!"

Vic closed her eyes and took a breath.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you. This…exactly. Listen to me. My personal life is not up for debate. It's just that. Mine. I won't sit here and listen to debate about it or have my motives questioned. I think…we've talked about this enough for now. So…I'm gonna go. Think about what I said. All of it. And…we'll talk later on. If you can do that civilly."

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the line before her father responded to her sort of ultimatum.

"You're right about one thing, Vic. We will talk about this later."

She let his tone go as they muttered their goodbyes and hung up the phone. Vic held the cell phone in her hands and looked out at the night sky. It was so different here than back in Philadelphia. Or, any big city.

A few minutes passed and she heard the screen door creak open. She heard the shuffle of Walt's feet as he stepped outside and the door close.

"Checking to see if it's safe to come out?"

He lowered himself down beside her.

"It got quiet. I figured you were done."

Vic set her phone aside and leaned back, releasing a breath.

"Yeah."

"I take it things didn't go well."

She shrugged.

"It went like I expected. My parents are nothing if not reliable in their overreactions and judgement of my life. Honestly, it would've shocked the hell out of me if they were actually receptive to…any choice I make that's not moving back to Philadelphia. That's what they want. Especially my dad."

"That's not what you want?"

She heard the question and turned her head to look at him.

"We've talked about this."

"I know."

"Why ask?"

He gave her a long look before he peered out into the darkness that surrounded the cabin.

"Something most people don't realize about you, Vic, is how much of yourself you give to others. It's not a bad thing. I'm not sure where I would be without it. But…it's okay to be selfish sometimes. There's nothing wrong with making decisions based on your needs and not someone else."

When he finished talking, his eyes returned to her.

"That is what I'm doing. Maybe…for the first time in my adult life. Moving here wasn't an easy choice. It also wasn't really mine alone. It was for my safety and Sean's career. Choosing to stay wasn't easy either. But…it's what I needed. I think…"

She leaned into him and bumped her shoulder against his.

"…it's worked out pretty damn good for me."

He gave her a half smile.

"It's worked out for me, too."

Vic let out a sigh and picked up her phone.

"I told them to think about it before we talk again. So…this isn't over. But…if they really want me to be happy, they're gonna have to accept my choices. And you…are one of the better choices I have made."

She stood up slowly and waited for him to rise as well.

"Now, I don't want to talk about this anymore tonight. I know it worries you and it shouldn't. Nothing they say is going to change my mind."

"I didn't think it would."

Vic shrugged and slid her arm through his.

"Just so you know…"

"I know."

"Good. Let's…go inside."

She tugged at his arm and he went willingly.